Costume ideas for this Friday’s Planned Parenthood 80s Prom:
Stanley Spadowski from UHF: Kramer, pre-Kramer. And you can probably get away with walking around saying, “Badgers? We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!” even though Stanley didn’t say it. (His lines were way too weird for party quotes.)
Phyllis Nefler from Troop Beverly Hills: If you still have your Girl Scout uniform, or you own a “naughty scout” Halloween costume, you can similarly walk around saying, “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” even though Phyllis didn’t say it either. Even better– do the Freddie!
Richard Simmons: You could get some play for pulling this off. What better way to tell women that you’re confident and have a hot bod? Just don’t do the Freddie.
Any member of the Cosby Show cast: I still watch it on Nick at Nite, too! It’s great because about halfway through, I remember the episode, sort of, or I think I do. Now that’s quality TV with family values. Those definitely don’t exist anymore, so this costume would really throw people off.
Balki Bartokomous from “Perfect Strangers”: Everybody loved Balki!
Mikhail Gorbachov: He was Time’s Man of the Year! Great for those with receding hairlines, politicos, men who own suits…
Kylie Minogue: Tell the adults from the children at the party. If they haven’t heard of the Loco-Motion, OUT! And oh by the way, do you remember the Cosby show episode where Vanessa does the Loco-Motion wearing a skimpy top? I do! Costume!
He-Man or She-Ra: They were HOT cartoon superheros! His hair is so… pretty! And so is hers! These costume would be really involved, but again, you would be the life of the party. Everyone wants to be with a superhero.
Nolan Bushnell: You can wear whatever you want. All you have to say is, “He like totally invented Atari, man. How did you not know that?”
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Love it.
And you can tell the Lilith from the adults too. I was driving around yesterday and a Grand Funk Railroad song came on and I realized they’d done the Loco-Motion before Kylie, which prompted me to look up who did it first. No, not Bob Dylan: LITTLE EVA. Trains made a major comeback in Jock Jams 3 with the breakout hit of the 1990s, C’Mon Ride the Train. RIDE IT!
I’m gonna wear a Gordon Gartrell.