Attention Snooty Bartenders: it’s just cville….

Over this past Artini weekend, we had a couple drinks at ZO.CA.LO. My first experience there was for a friend’s graduation party and I remember the bartender being pretty damn handy with rum/cachaca, mint, and brown sugar. Afterwards I spoke quite highly of their drinks.

The Bartender Really Does Matter

With the same passion as my first time, when I drank numerous mojitos, I decided to try a whiskey-based drink with muddled orange and bitters called the “Stanton.” It was awful. The next one, a staple of ZO.CA.LO, caipirinha, should have been good…and it was just as bad.

And the Customer is Always Right

In cocoNUT fashion, the drinks were returned (1/4 sipped) to the bartender, and that is when the real fun began. I forget the name of the bartender, but he might as well be called “El Capitan,” as in a Captain from the Spanish Inquisition. This guy would not stop asking questions about what was so wrong with his drinks…how many words can you use to describe something that tastes like poop? He wanted them all.

To all of you bartenders in cville, not everyone is a fan. It’s subjective, right? So just suck it up and move along. When someone returns a drink because it tastes bad, they are trying to send you a message, and leave as quickly as possible, not engage in trade negotiations.

To all of you cvillains, if you don’t like it, send it back. I know, you have only probably seen it done in movies, but it actually works in real-life. There is no point rewarding someone for a terrible job. Feel free to share your stories of other snooty bartenders in cville! Let the games begin!

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40 Responses to “Attention Snooty Bartenders: it’s just cville….”

  1. 24 Jul 2007 at 3:46 pmdanpri said:

    You would actually order something that you did not know what was in it? Kinda scary and silly. Its one thing if something is prepared incorrectly, but if prepared correctly and what you ordered.

    Sounds a little self indulgent…

  2. 24 Jul 2007 at 4:43 pmcocoNUT said:

    No I knew exactly what I was ordering, but it tasted awful. I am not sure if it was prepared correctly, but I have had many a cocktail and these were not good.

  3. 24 Jul 2007 at 5:38 pmThor said:

    Whiskey/orage/bitters? That ain’t no mojito. I think you are using the “bartender sucks argument” as your excuse for your inability to drink a manly booze like Whiskey. And yes, Whiskey is a manly drink.

  4. 24 Jul 2007 at 5:39 pmThor said:

    P.S. OH SNAP

  5. 24 Jul 2007 at 5:43 pmcocoNUT said:

    The point of the article is that bartenders think whatever they make is great, most likely because no one ever dares to send it back. Mind you both the caipirinha and the whiskey drink were bad. Your logic fails.

  6. 24 Jul 2007 at 6:18 pmdanpri said:

    Yeah, gotta go with the “why bother” discussion. Whiskey, orange and bitters and you were hoping for something good?

    Knob Creek neat and you are set.

  7. 24 Jul 2007 at 8:18 pmcocoNUT said:

    This is a stretch…but not so far from a mint julep right? The orange should bring flatten the sharpness of the whiskey and the bitters soften the final edge a bit.

  8. 25 Jul 2007 at 8:28 amcrud buster said:

    This is a really intelligent conversation.

  9. 25 Jul 2007 at 9:37 amThor said:

    Crud - that’s what we do.

  10. 25 Jul 2007 at 2:47 pmcrud buster said:

    Fair enough. But I tend not to side with cocopuffs. Yes, people should not make crappy drinks, but the whole thing is sujective as he admits. Plus his statement that “bartenders think whatever they make is great” is a huge generalization. Maybe they just all think he’s a dick when he’s not happy with his drinks, and they respond accordlingly. And remember Zocalo is not the Sky Bar or the Peninsula Hotel. It’s a reasonably trendy bar in Central Virginia catering to twenty and thirty somethings. Don’t expect Isaac from the Love Boat back there every time. Bartenders being people too, they don’t look forward to being told their drinks suck. They’re busy too. Maybe the guy should have handled it better, but I think cocobutters should manage his expectations. And based on his description of events (”suck it up and move along”) it’s not clear he was entirely respectful of the guy. Seems a bit amateurish (though I’m sure he thinks of himself as a pro) in a number of ways.

  11. 25 Jul 2007 at 5:01 pmStuart said:

    Not to pile on, but yea, my first hunch would be that you weren’t down with the Stanton, which is little more than whisky with a kiss.
    I’ve never had anything but superb beverages at Zocalo, but hell maybe you caught them on an off night.

  12. 25 Jul 2007 at 8:00 pmcocoNUT said:

    True, but I had the caipirinha as well and it was shite. It seems the majority of you are missing the point: if the customer don’t like, just let it be and skip the 3rd degree.

  13. 25 Jul 2007 at 8:41 pmEthan said:

    Did you demand your money back after you returned your drink?

  14. 25 Jul 2007 at 8:51 pmThor said:

    Maybe cocoNUT should demand his coolness back for being so lamo about a lamo drink.

  15. 25 Jul 2007 at 9:03 pmEthan said:

    I thought cocoNUT was a female!?

  16. 26 Jul 2007 at 8:14 amThor said:

    cocoNUT sounds more masculine to me.. I think it’s the nuts part. then again there are coconut bras….. any thoughts?

  17. 26 Jul 2007 at 9:30 amcocoNUT said:

    The check hadn’t been paid for, so there was no charge.

  18. 26 Jul 2007 at 1:01 pmdanpri said:

    I get the point coconut, but not sure that you do. If you order something prepared correctly and do not like it, tough nuts to you. if it is prepared incorrectly then the burden is on the resturant. But the silly little self indulgent “I dont like it and I dont want it and I should not have to pay for it…” smacks of just a wee bit too much thinking of “Me” as in “Me First, Me first.”

    This type of thing just drives the costs up higher for everyone else, and pisses of bartenders, who will F- up a drink in ways you do not even want to think of the next time you come around. Trust me, been there and DONE that. Stuff like, rub the finger somewhere and then roll it around the inside of your glass before adding the beverage. You have read Bourdains books have you not?

  19. 26 Jul 2007 at 1:12 pmEthan said:

    danpri is right. You ordered something you had never tried before and then returned it (without paying) when you didn’t like it. The business has to take the loss for your own ignorance. No wonder the bartender gave you the runaround. I don’t think you got the reaction from your post that you were expecting. I’m sure you expected everyone to pat you on the back and congratulate you for sticking it to the “snooty bartenders” in Charlottesville. How dare they prepare something you didn’t like! Well, I think this whole debate highlights snooty customers rather than snooty bartenders. I’m sorry your post failed.

  20. 26 Jul 2007 at 1:44 pmcrud buster said:

    “To all of you bartenders in cville, not everyone is a fan. It’s subjective, right? So just suck it up and move along. When someone returns a drink because it tastes bad, they are trying to send you a message, and leave as quickly as possible, not engage in trade negotiations. ”

    “It seems the majority of you are missing the point: if the customer don’t like, just let it be and skip the 3rd degree.”

    You really sound like a clown. Get over yourself, little fella.

  21. 26 Jul 2007 at 1:46 pmcocoNUT said:

    In the restaurant business thats how it works. Are you telling me you will pay for something you can’t eat/drink at a restaurant because you don’t like it? Thats just silly.

  22. 26 Jul 2007 at 2:02 pmcrud buster said:

    Are you telling me that any time you order something you don’t like, you expect to be able to return it for free?

  23. 26 Jul 2007 at 2:08 pmcocoNUT said:

    Yes, and I do. Usually the waiter/bartender will ask what you want to replace it with. The kicker is that you don’t try to return something you have devoured, cause that would be quite ridiculous!

  24. 26 Jul 2007 at 2:27 pmEthan said:

    “Garçon, I refuse to drink this glass of Dom Perignon. Remove this vile swill from my sight, and I will under no circumstance pay the fifty guineas it cost to uncork it.”

  25. 26 Jul 2007 at 6:49 pmPatience said:

    At Blue Light I had a drink-returning experience that turned out a little differently My sister and I ordered vanilla martinis and each got a glass of vanilla vodka on the rocks. We hated our drinks and took them back to the bar where my sister told the bartender that they weren’t quite what we expected and could she doctor them up a bit. The bartender whisked our vodkas into a shaker and added all sorts of yummy liquors and gave them back–fabulous. No doubt, the extra ingredients were added to our bill, but we didn’t care.

  26. 26 Jul 2007 at 8:12 pmlilith said:

    Patience, nice to see a new face! (Umm, alias?)

    I’ve totally sat this one out. Why? I was almost escorted out of a bar for pulling a cocoNUT once. It was not pretty!

    But I have a good story. (Not as good as that story, clearly.) I actually just enjoyed a post-work martini at a favorite downtown bar and took a chance on something I wouldn’t normally order. I joked to the bartender, with this exchange of comments fresh in mind, “It sounds exciting, but if you make it right and I don’t like it, it’s my fault!” He actually said, “Really? Huh. If you don’t like it, I’ll make you something you would like. But try it!” It was a confident and unpretentious move on the bartender’s part, but I can’t help but think that establishing my indecision helped make for the smooth transaction.

    I loved it!

  27. 26 Jul 2007 at 11:26 pmBusRider said:

    danpri–

    Amen to the shoutout to Bourdain. Great reading, and very candid about the things that go down behind the scenes in the restaurant biz.

    cocoNUT–

    You might want to learn a little restaurant etiquette. So you ordered a drink which, from the description, couldn’t have been good. You didn’t like it; tough break. You learned a lesson.

    Who, exactly, do you think bears the costs of returned items? I’ll give you a hint: in many, many, restaurants, it isn’t the owners. I don’t know about Zo Ca Lo’s specific policies, but it’s not uncommon at places I (or my friends) have worked for the server/bartender to pay for returned items out of their paychecks.

    It’s okay to return items if they’re a total assault on your tastebuds due to some sort of negligence (e.g., overseasoning, undercooking, overcooking, serving the owner’s recently deceased pet chinchilla), but if you return something because it’s not what you really wanted/expected, learn to deal without making your server pay for your change of heart.

  28. 27 Jul 2007 at 1:11 pmDivine Ms. K said:

    Interesting comments! I’ll just add that it is often helpful to specify how you prefer your drinks, just like you specify how you prefer your steak cooked and whether or not you want your coffee with cream and sugar.

    For example, I like my gin (Bonbay Sapphire, please) & tonics a bit lighter on the gin than most, with plenty of lime. When I order “a gin and tonic” I often get something that doesn’t taste very good to me. But if I order “Bombay Sapphire and tonic, bit light on the gin, plenty of lime” I am far more likely to get a drink I enjoy.

    Of course, this is not to say that bars should become like Starbucks, which can require a glossary to help folks order, but a couple simple specifications helps ensure everyone’s satisfied. No bartender *wants* to make a drink his or her customer is not going to like. And if you sent back two in a row I don’t blame them for coming out and trying to figure out just what the eff you’re looking for.

  29. 27 Jul 2007 at 1:12 pmdanpri said:

    LOL! Coconut- I am telling you right now that you have consumed some stuff that did not order. Sad to say what exactly you have digested that was not part of the actual dish prepared for the rest of the diners that evening….

    Your attitude is the kind that staff love to tell stories about after hours- stories of what they did to your food and drink. Sorry- but you need to approach this much different.

    Clearly you have never done time in F and B or you would not even consider your actions.

  30. 27 Jul 2007 at 2:49 pmcocoNUT said:

    Very true, never worked in a restaurant a day in my life.

  31. 28 Sep 2007 at 8:36 amChuck Beretz said:

    Perhaps the bartender wanted to learn from his mistakes? I know if I made something that was displeasing to a friend I would want to know what it was they found dissatisfying.

  32. 30 Sep 2007 at 1:40 ambm2 said:

    you know nothing about bar etiquette or liquor. I bet you don’t even think you should have to tip. Do the snotty bartenders and go buy some random bottles of alcohol and try to do their job. I’m a snotty bartender, can’t help it if I know how to make 2 million drinks off the top of my head and I take pride in that, should I make a mistake I want to know what I did wrong and so does my boss. Forgive us for asking and trying to solve the problem. Even though no one in their right mind would have ordered that drink you’re talking about.

  33. 30 Sep 2007 at 3:03 amThor said:

    sick it to him :)

  34. […] Snooty Bartenders […]

  35. […] …at risk of pulling a CocoNUT… […]

  36. […] exotic palette and my sexual appeal is exponentially related to the exoticness of my palette. From whiskey muddles, to dirty martinis, you have a host of purchased meanings to flaunt at the bar. Oh, and did I […]

  37. 17 Feb 2008 at 6:15 pmtomasr said:

    recommendations are the lingua franca of restaurants and a good bartender understands that. if he/she makes a recommendation, or suggests a signature drink, you are within your rights to send it back if it doesn’t match your expectations or the bartender’s description. individual preferences for strength and potency aside, a well-made cocktail should be a delight, not a harrowing challenge to finish. a good cocktail is like good sex - both partners know if it’s good, both know when something is amiss. however, if you catch a bad one, or one just pourly mixed, don’t lie and say it’s great or you have never felt like this before. have the bartender taste it too. feedback is the second best tip you can leave an establishment, even if it hurts their feelings. sure, bartenders are always busy and don’t always have time to hold your hand as you experiment with alcohol or beverages you are unfamiliar with. stick with the basics, then, after you have established some level of trust with that bartender, let them take you where you’ve never been before. there should be respite in your napenthe.

  38. 17 Feb 2008 at 6:37 pmThor said:

    well put tomas! We love mas! Thanks for reading our site!

  39. […] Tomas (we think) chimes in on one of our most disagreed upon posts about asking bartends to take back drinks based on the customer’s tastes. recommendations are […]

  40. 18 Feb 2008 at 3:40 ameduardo said:

    AMEN!

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