Really, who needs lingerie anyway?

Before you accuse me of being a prude, read Courteney Stuart’s news piece, “Diddler on the roof: X-rated tryst shocks Mall workers” in today’s Hook. (I’ll post the link once the site is updated.)

Now for my take?

That rooftop is one of the best-kept secret make-out locations in our fine city, and this couple flagrantly exposed it to city officials… by exposing themselves from it. I’m pretty impressed, naturally, but I just wish they could have put up signs around the downtown bars this past weekend with the following message:

You know that secret make-out place you only go to in the middle of the night on weekdays in winter with the fire escape that you shove a garbage can close to when you’re leaving? Kind of behind Bizou? Right, the one you haven’t been to in two years. Yes, I know he met someone else and she’s blonde, but you’re over it and you don’t have a lot of time. See that guy over there? At your 4 o’clock. The one in the gray shirt with the cosmo. He’s cute and no one’s talking to him. Hey! Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Tonight’s your night. Go tell him you dig his soulpatch. He could be your type. Don’t give me that look! Because tomorrow, your make-out spot will be gone. Umm, forever? Not like you were using it. By the way, you might want to wipe the TP off your foot before you go. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but it’s just SO funny. The point is, make-out spot, use it or lose it, bitch. Toodles!

Just a courtesy sign like that, right? Anyway, I thought the story was a well-written, colorful account of the public reaction. But I walked away from the issue wishing I knew what they were doing up there! Said Ric Barrick, “They might have been having safe sex, but there was nothing safe about it.” Ric, don’t tease! This was an exhibition in full daylight. It was a high-wire act, wasn’t it? Interpretive dance? Did anyone get a picture?

And one more thing. Who the HELL is making out in cemeteries? For the love of God, find a rooftop.

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10 Responses to “Really, who needs lingerie anyway?”

  1. 30 Aug 2007 at 10:25 amlilith said:

    I’m kind of disturbed that the Hook site hasn’t been updated, and it’s 10:30 on Thursday. I picked up my hard copy last night…

  2. 30 Aug 2007 at 10:29 amChad Day said:

    They are typically slow to get things up Thursday morning, which is a bit of an annoyance.

  3. 30 Aug 2007 at 10:30 amcocoNUT said:

    Hohoho….cVillain-1,XXXXX, Hook-0

    Isnt it fun to be children sometimes?

  4. 30 Aug 2007 at 10:50 amlilith said:

    By the way, Chad, very nice radio time on the Corner, and I liked your comments on the Hook feature on the Corner/NRN feature too.

  5. 30 Aug 2007 at 11:07 amChad Day said:

    Thanks. I need to work on not saying “um” so much, but that’s just a learning/experience thing I suppose. :)

  6. 30 Aug 2007 at 11:23 ammau said:

    Can we also just take a moment to celebrate the brilliance of that headline? Diddler on the Roof? I mean really, the puns throughout are just wonderful. Thanks Hook for brightening my morning considerably.

  7. 30 Aug 2007 at 12:35 pmlilith said:

    Wow, still no update to the Hook site, and wow also, that courtesy sign I wrote is really long. But not as long as cocoNUT’s post. ;)

  8. 30 Aug 2007 at 12:46 pmChad Day said:

    Just read the article over lunch .. nice.

    And some people do make out in cemeteries .. the days of trying to check off stuff on the ‘Purity Test’ just for the sake of doing it ..

  9. 30 Aug 2007 at 12:57 pmlilith said:

    Thanks, I added the link. Y’all should read cocoNUT’s post… curious to see the comments it’s going to elicit.

  10. 30 Aug 2007 at 4:03 pmDave said:

    Eww, sounds like it was the dirty gutter-rat kids going at it.
    So.
    Gross.

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