may be coming to you from a reputable journal in the future, this one’s purely prurient.
So the last girl I dated was well endowed, and by that I mean 36DDs, and I don’t just mean 36DDs, I mean the kind you’d see in Playboy, firm, perfectly shaped, and natural. The only problem was that the girl lugging them around thought they were her American Express Black Card and would get her what she wanted, when she wanted it, no questions asked. She used them as a tool, she used them as a weapon. Sometimes they were the carrot dangling from the end of the stick, sometimes they were the means to move to the front of the line or be served first, and sometimes it seemed like she thought that just showing up with them allowed her to ‘phone it in’ in the sack. Personally, I’m a C cup man myself, and firmly believe that the girls who bring a little less cleavage to the table make up for it by going that extra mile to make their partner happy when it counts. The Mae West’s out there (look it up youngsters) on the other hand seem to think they can offer less and get away with more just because of some pervasive ‘I’ll pay more to supersize it, even though I don’t need it’ attitude.
[pic]
As I’ve stated, if I could design the perfect woman, and choose breasts like car options, I’d go for some nice full firm C’s (I don’t need 16 cupholders in a car, 4 or 5 is plenty) If those weren’t available I think I’d opt for B’s over D’s, and maybe even A’s over DD’s. I’m not talking about a woman for a one-night thing here by the way, I don’t do that, I’m talking about a woman who’s relationship material. I don’t go to Costco for the giant cans, and I don’t go to bars for them either, but occasionally you wind up meeting the kind of girl who probably get unsolicited employment applications from gentlemen’s clubs in the mail, and almost invariably you find out: they play harder to get (because they believe (correctly more often than not) that they can), that they can and will drum up a little competition just by (mis)using their god-given assets, in an attempt to manipulate you, and that regardless of what they put you through, you’ll stick around (because most guys apparently will).
Is the same true for guys? Will you ladies take more crap from a guy who’s hung like Mr. Ed? (once again, look it up. I’m not that old by the way. Ok, to save you the trouble pretend it says ‘hung like Seabiscuit’). I’d like to consider myself ‘above average’ in the size department. I’ve seen plenty of guys making a living in porn and working with less (but I wouldn’t include Messrs. Jeremy and Holmes among them) and I don’t want anyone to assume I’m on the other end of the spectrum [noone’s ever asked “is it in yet?â€, unless it wasn’t (even Jon Benet)], but I’ve never (I’d like to think) taken for granted that a woman will come back for more regardless of how poorly I treat her, just because of that.
So what say you all? Is it simply the person on the other end of the appendage that makes the difference? Or is bigger so much better that you’re willing to pay a premium as far as what you’ll put up with in a relationship?
Please no one line comments like â€my boobs are big and I like them that way†I want to know how big? Do you consciously use them to get what you want? Do you think guys stay with you through things that would have them running from a girl with a smaller rack? Do you think that in a perfect world, the Pam Anderson’s and Tommy Lee’s would wind up together? Stuff like that.
[I always hated the show “Sex and the City†(I would occasionally have to watch with an ex-girlfriend who found it entertaining). When a program’s plot-lines and character-arc’s can be summed up for a particular episode in this sort of manner: {Character A gets new boobs and comes to the conclusion that her vagina now looks relatively tired} {Character B is relieved to find that her’s still looks fairly fresh} {Character C has a one night stand} {Character D shames her for it} there’s not a lot going on intellectually, and I always found Carrie’s snippets of column at the end of the show particularly devoid signs of cerebral activity. They could be (maybe were?) written by a retarded three year old. Here I am doing the same thing. Go figure.]
Popularity: 5% [?]
Tagged as: Charlottesville, Protests, Questions, Rants, Singles Scene, Traditions
Never been enthralled with chests (I’m a confirmed, unapologetic leg man). Sure, I occasionally enjoy the benefits of being a mammal, but “well endowed” women can’t use those to control me.
no really - they can’t. If anyone would care to prove me wrong, drop me a note. Bring your best game. Maybe if 3 or 4 of you lovely ladies ganged up on me and pummeled me at the same time, it might be different. Let’s find out - in the interest of science.
Ohh Timm-ay, I am soooo sorry you feel shortchanged in bed. Maybe you should just start to ask for what you want? I am a D-Cup statistician and I see no correlation between cup size and the proportion of giving and taking in the sack (or otherwise). I would like to point out that the last 5000 years (give’n’take) female repression in most cultures has likely rendered some males a bit complacent not to use the word Lazy. We women were taught that to give joy was all we needed to satisfy our selves. I’d like to cash in my chips right about now.
Chew on that.
Isn’t it all relative? The most attractive figures are nicely proportioned. DDs on a 5ft tall girl looks a little strange to me.
Hey, everyone has a preference. I don’t. Boobs matter, intellectual sex is hotter.
“choose breasts like car options”?
repellant.
I respect your right to post silly, offensive, misogynistic material on the internet. But what on earth does this adolescent post have to do with Charlottesville gossip? Next time, timm-ay, save it for your LiveJournal.
well said, windsor. im sure painfullybadsatire.org, narrowmindedness.net, or maxim magazine might be interested in your ruminations, but the local relevance is lost on me.
Seemed a tongue-in-cheek post to me… An no less CVille relevant than whether or not to answer your door in your underwear
ok ok back to cville on monday!
Aaaaaand now we come to the reason why it might be better NOT to let just “anyone” write and post things, with no qualifiers. This post is not thought-provoking, it doesn’t raise any interesting or important issues, it’s not even entertaining — it’s just one guy’s rant about tits and women who use them to manipulate men, thinly veiled as a sociological question, with the bonus of letting him wave his dick around (metaphorically speaking).
For the record, the “is it OK to answer the door in your underwear” post? Also dumb.
My apologies folks. Sorry for not posting “gossip”, like speculation on how much Whole Foods will charge for a gallon of milk when it opens its new building in two years, or that I heard Coran just bought blah blah blah, or that you can buy a burrito at that place that sells burritos. Also sorry it doesn’t feel local, unlike such Cvillain classics as “Squirrel Melts” or “I can’t believe you done this”. I thought one of the purposes of this site was to entertain, and provide a bit of humor from time to time. Sorry. I’d also like to think that the description in the title “purely prurient” would have saved some of you the time and effort expended reading and responding, but perhaps I needed to define prurient?
In my defense, rather than post this filth directly, I e-mailed it to the site and told them they could use it if they wished, I realize I’m relatively new here and that my tastes may not reflect the greater consensus. That being said, I am solely responsible for the content.
Reclyclops, I regret analagizing a hypothetical in a manner likely to lead to objectification, clearly crossed a line there.
Two0four, I’d like to cash in my chips too, if you’ve got a toaster with a cord long enough to reach the tub can I use it when you’re done?
As for local news and gossip, a service dog dressed as a mermaid won the canine costume contest down at Barrack’s Road an hour ago! SCOOP!
‘Sup, man I luv some thick girlz wit curves and i do most anything for em. not like all these skiny white girlz runnin round hear. they aint got no junk. most of em aint got no trunk even, i call dem bitches ‘hatchbacks’
I’m responsible for the “Publishing” if you want to call it that.
This is directly relevant to da ville. Thanks for bringing this to our attention.
When did the new Playboy Club open and where is it? Is there a cover charge? Is there a drink minimum? Does anything larger than 34C guarantee that she’s dumb and easy?
Let’s go easy on timm-ay. I just thought he had his heart broken. But what’s with the physical requirements for your projected future mate? Even a C is considered big. I hope you meet a woman who makes you forget about your checklist. Thanks for posting.
T-shirt sighting.
http://www.cultclassicts.com/cgi-bin/shirt.cgi/cultclassicts.cultclassicts-66746341+pussy-makes-the-rules-jr.-ringer-t-shirt.html
Well, I was going to let the dust settle on this one, but danpri moved it to the top of the ‘recent comments’ list, so I might as well go ahead and post.
Lilith, in response to your comment, yes, a c-cup is large, and should be more than adequate for even the most committed breast-man, however the national average is a 36-C. I hope you’re not too disappointed: keep in mind that that’s on an ‘average sized’ american woman who’s 5′4″, 152lbs. and a size 14.
http://www.livescience.com/mysteries/070911_llm_bust_size.html
I was surprised to see that the differences between the cup sizes are not consistent (5oz. jump from A to B, 8 from B to C, 6 from C to D). Also, I get the sneaking suspicion that you post under more than one username (nothing wrong with that), care to confirm?
Heartbreak? I think you’re confusing me with a Ben Stiller movie.
No checklist, never has been.
Unfortunately I used a little juvenile, semi-salacious narrative to try to start a discussion on how those among us who approximate or resemble societal stereotypes of the ‘ideal’ have (or don’t have) an advantage in dating, and just how big that advantage is, etc… (didn’t do a very good job of it)
[Never been called a misogynist before, I’ll have to update the resume. You feminists run along to your Hillary rally now, so you can (try to) help the world’s biggest enabler ride to the White House on some of the world’s most misogynistic coat-tails. (put down your car keys, no such rally tonight)]
Poll: Do you use your cleavage to get things?
Me: Yes. But free drinks laced with the hope of boinking me don’t make up for all the things men deny women.