[myginpage=Falsies]
Ok, here we go. Time to get the old webbed feet wet again. Friday night’s as good as any to rock out, so I sauntered over to Durty Nelly’s for an earful of the Falsies’ trashedelic lunacy. Glory be.
Durty Nelly’s is - I think it’s fair to say and hope this won’t hurt any feelings - something of a blue collar bar. A dark wooden Budweiser pub all smeared with High Life posters and NASCAR schwag, Nelly’s attracts a slightly older, working-class kinda crowd. It’s a friendly little liquor-free joint (that’s right, beer only) with a great sandwich shop attached in back, but it seems on odd place for a cross-dressing screaming chicken kind of affair like the Falsies. Alas…
In I go where onstage a quintet from D.C., the Frustrations, is warming up the house satisfactorily. At first they sound almost appropriate for the venue: sort of blues-based rock/pop stuff with a classic-rock-radio-ready female vocal, but something shifts and they’re waxing a bit more adventurous, careening through a mash-up of funk, ska and rock elements with high-energy outbursts and spiffy sax and guitar solos. Pretty sweet. This was their first trip outta Chocolate City, but I expect we’ll see ‘em again before too long.
The Falsies prepare for their onslaught. In comes the dilapidated drumset, the rubber chicken, the sombrero, the Axl Rose tasseled mic stand. The room bristles with anticipation, forty or so of us shift excitedly in our places, bracing for what’s coming…
If you haven’t ventured out to see the Falsies play, then you are seriously shorting yourself in this life, buddy. A more engaging and entertaining local act you will not find. The brainchild of long-time Charlottesville alterna-popster Lance Brenner (of the Naked Puritans and Thrum), the Falsies burst on the scene two-ish years ago with a shockingly fresh manifesto: FREE THE SILLY and let it ALL HANG OUT.
And boy, do they. This gnarly quartet features my landlord (no sh*t, my LANDLORD) in drag out front, a giant chicken (or is it the devil?) on drums, and two hottie chicks doing most of the difficult work of, you know, playing the music. (By the way, please don’t construe the fact that my landlord is in this band as reason for bias on my part. If he sucked, I’d tell him. To his face. Or maybe I’d write it in the little memo space on my rent check.)
Musically, the group veers around rock styles, punkish here, poppy there, vaguely psychedelic. Slightly sloppy but always kinda… right on. The tunes are so catchy that the very first time you hear them you’ll know exactly when to sing your audience responses. And you’ll be humming that accursed melody all week. Damn you, Lance Brenner, you crafty songwriting demon! (I myself have composed a steaming cess-pile of stupid songs, but… I’m gonna have to go back to stupid school.)
But there’s so much more than music here. The Falsies are a genuine act that puts on a real show with banter and gags that draw the crowd closer and closer until… YIKES! A big drag queen just jumped on me!
And hilarious? Oh yes, that too. Especially appreciated were numbers I’d never heard before, the bewildering “You Never Answer My Rhetorical Questions! (What Gives?)” and “Uh oh! Guess What?” (featuring the exciting revelation that “Everybody thinks you’re a slut.”)
Now that’s what I call a rock and roll band. I laughed. I danced. I laughed some more. I took a ton of pictures that you can check out below. I laughed again. THE FALSIES are VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
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Tagged as: Charlottesville, Cripsy Duck, Music, Pictures, Reviews
That man in the “F* YOU” heart costume is a hunk of burning love. Sizzle!
Welcome back Cripsy! Where ya been??
The first time I saw them, at a certain somebody’s birthday party, I thought they sucked. I mean really, really sucked. Crispy’s landlord scared me. I think he was chirping at some point. I wasn’t sure what was worse: Landlord in drag or Landlord without clothes on.
I’m glad they stuck with it, though. I think the personnel change might have been a good one.
We’re still trying to figure out how to make this picture stuff work… if you want to see the pictures you have to click on the Article Title and then click the thumbnails… for some reason it forces you back to the first post.
Your review is spot on…a group of my friends went to send a colleague off on his move to LA. With this kind of performance in CV, I see no need to move.
Thanks you guys. It’s good to be writing again. I been all kinds of nowhere for far too long. Upstart, I doubt the personnel changes affected the Falsies all that much. They’re certainly still, shall we say, obnoxious? Definitely more some’s cup of tea than others’. But so refreshing when compared to the glut of pseudo-redneck hipster Americana garbage or the Dave-head wannabes or the sensitive songwriters with their three-chord yawnathons. And the wierd thing about my Landlord: that’s what he looks like when he comes for the rent. Talk about scary.
are you goin to the ballroom tonight, Crispy?
At the risk of being extremely pedantic, it’s CriPSy, not CriSPy. I know, it’s only a blog and the Internet so why does it matter? And no, I’m not trying to be the “grammer” police. But Cripsy is a legend and deserves the correct spelling. That’s the least our little ‘ville and blog could do for someone who has, for so long, championed the music scene.
Yay, Cripsy is on cvillain.com, that is way cool.
Cripsy - We are loving this. U rock.
CriPSy! My bad!
Dijonbray, my silly spelling post wasn’t directed at you (or any other commenters). I hadn’t even noticed your post when I posted that (it just looks that way). It was about the name below the post titles, which Thor (or someone) has since changed.
Great article. Great band. Seen them 4 times and they just keep getting better and better every time!
Hey, whoa,
All this respect is messing with my esteem and self-loathing issues. Not to mention screwing with my low-life M.O. You guys rock.
About the Ballroom tonight: I’m not yet hooked up with management over there, so I have yet to secure my press creds. But I did catch Truman Sparks at Dust about a year ago (I think the lineup’s changed a little since then - not sure), and they floored me. Bastard sons of King Crimson, indeed!
Satellite Schmatellite. The action is in Richmond tonight, where The Hold Steady is playing at Toad’s Place.
Hooray!
Hands down The Falsies are my favorite band in C’ville. They have killer songs and a great live show. I do think that their sloppiness throws some people and they can push a button with some folks faster than others but, in my mind, The Falsies are what real rock n roll is all about.
I like the new chick. Maybe it didn’t affect them, but I like ‘em better than the first few times I saw them.
Yo Cripsy. Welcome back.
Welcome back..welcome back,,welcome back…BaBarino
The Falsies are the worst fucking band I’ve seen in my whole life. I’ve seen lots of bands in town, and they are beyond a doubt the worst. The costumes are just a poorly conceived hack to deflect from the fact that they are horrendously untalented wankers. The crowd of people they attract are the scenesters who don’t know anything about music and go to shows because it’s the “cool” thing to do. Yes, perhaps they’re eclectic. But there are many eclectic bands that actually have musical talent. Anyone who likes the Falsies should shoot themselves.
Preferably in the head.
Yeah, Ethan, I’m sure your band is way better
Wait. Going to shows is uncool? Dang. And I thought I had fun.
Cripsy, you’ll get used to Ethan. He makes unequivocal statements that have never seen gray, it’s all black and white. It’s hilarious to me that he had to post again to make sure any Falsies’ fans knew he preferred the self-inflicted gunshot was to their head. Ha ha ha.
In my early-mid 20s I thought I knew everything too, so I can’t fault him THAT much. It kinda sucks that the older you get the more you know how much you don’t know (
They probably aren’t the worst band EVER. Have you seen Hillbilly Werewolf?
I swear I saw Hillbilly Werewolf at the pudhouse years ago… have they been around that long, or am I thinking of someone else?
I’ve been to about 10 Falsies shows and many times I’ve witnessed the band saying that they want to be “the best-worst band you’ve seen and could stay to listen to” or something like that. I think a certain amount of suckage is what they’re after. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re in on their own joke and probably laughing at the odd person who isn’t laughing with them. Think Monty Python & Sex Pistols putting on a Dada-ist musical and you have The Falsies’ live show. It’s brilliant actually. I’d bet that part of their pleasure is taken in pissing-off the prudes and bewildering the squares. Yes Cripsy, this is a rock n roll band!
Ethan: L O fucking L! And I totally agree with you — they’re awful.
Ok. Let’s clear something up. The Falsies are definitely over-the-top-silly, and not for everyone - just people with senses of humor. It’s not like I said they blow like Yngwie Malmsteen and compose like Bartok. The Falsies were formed with the intention of having everyone play instruments they don’t know. Lance, a guitarist, plays drums. Peter Markush, a cellist, sings, plays keyboards and trumpet (and bass). And so on. It wasn’t until they brought in Carter Lewis (guitar) and Morgan Moran (bass) that they had two experienced musicians in the group. Yeah, there are way more accomplished players lurking around town. But are their bands funny? That’s fine. It’s just that this one is. And it rocks. If you don’t get it maybe you should go back to masturbating to YouTube clips of skateboard injuries or whatever it is you do. And as far as shooting myself goes, how about this: Why don’t you SUCK A TURD OUT OF MY ASS! May your teenage girlfriend never reach puberty.
so many haters.. you guys need to qualify your hate otherwise it’s a waste of digital space
Thor, you gotta admit, that as far as blogs go, this one has been pretty tame, with no true “flame wars” between commenters. As viewership grows, so probably will the e-fighting.
Not to threadjack, but this video from the College Humor guys is spot on (personifying Internet commenters) about what usually happens. Let’s hope we can continue to have disagreements here that don’t devolve into the typical msg board shite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAGxK7i2E4g
i hope we don’t have to deal with efighting… did anyone say thunderbolts?
Awww… and I was just getting warmed up.
Seriously though. If you think some local band (or not-so-local band) is total hot snot, then post some dates. I’ll try to check ‘em out. I can put up with almost any genre, and try to appreciate the music ON IT’S OWN TERMS - not just what I like or would listen to. I’ve written positive reviews of music I’d never own and negative reviews of bands from genres I adore. It’s all perspective. Peas.
Note to self: Buy thicker curtains. Ceiling Duck has been watching me…
(saw an Ollie-faceplant the other day that left me all tingly…)
Dude, Hot Snot *is* playing at the Outback on Dec 12, and i think they are well, hot snot. They play reggaeton covers of icelandic sea shanties on instruments made entirely of meat while dressed as 19th century transvestite carnival workers. Their version of “BLÃ¥rgh de Gorüm der Musky WÃ…aves” is not to be missed. These guys are the real deal. Do you even know how hard it is to tune a porkchop? Just sayin.
Ok, I can’t help but point out the absurdity of one suggesting suicide to a stranger because they have a different opinion of (of all things) a local band. C’mon. Really?
I mean, really??
Cripsy, some kind of a welcome, eh? Geez, and on your very first day on the job! I suspect you’re going to be very popular here.
I’ve seen The Falsies totally own the night more than once when other more technically umm… with-it bands should have ruled. The first time I saw them they made American Dumpster look like old-time music and everybody knew it. Christian even said so.
Cripsy’s dead on. The Falsies have hilarious songs and loads of weirdo charisma. Two people on this thread seem to have either forgotten or never knew what a great kick-in-the-pants punk rock can be. Oh well, their loss. Def the best live show in Cville - period.
Belmont yo, you have bested me in wit. I submit to your cunning hilarity and beg, indeed, your good mercy.
And you, good Cripsy, have bested me in subtle sarcasm. I submit to your mastery of understated cynicism and beg to be released from my petard, from which I seem to have been hoisted.
Naw, you look great up there.
And you can’t tune a porkchop. (Tunafish)
I’m glad their are risk taking bands like the Falsies in this lame ass, snotty town. There are so many half ass, ass kissing, cookie cutter bands in this town you can see 5 different bands on 5 different nights and it’s like seeing one long repetitive show at different venues each week. Not to mention, if your ever in a band that get remotely popular you seem to have a lot of new friends, (especially if you bring people to the venue) but as soon as the band is done or you try to start something new you really see who your friends (venues too) are.
Ethan likes death or speed metal. Seriously. I like you, Ethan, but you aren’t the best judge of music, IMO.
Great band. Great songs. They’re Hot.
And those plank spankin’ dolls are hotter’n satans’ taint.
I just want’em rubbin’ against my leg and makin’ me obey their every sexual command.
The Sweetest Psychopath…
I love a girl that is slightly unhinged.
“plank spanking dolls”? “hotter than satan’s taint?”
I’ll be in my bunk…
Actually, I listen to experimental rock. I just happen to cruise to Outback Lodge to see shows because I like the people. I mean, I like ThisMeansYou, but death metal isn’t my genre.
Oh, I have a sense of humor. I just also have standards. And dignity.
Gotta say, This Means You tore my face off last September at Freakfest, threw it to the floor and did a satanic dance of glee on it. They were frikkin’ awesome and I did, indeed, “sing along with the bald lady.” though I had no idea what I was singing….
don’t worry, you’ll grow out of it
Actually Ethan, you seem to have something in common with the Falsies… an instinct for provocation. The difference is that The Falsies do it more artfully than you.
Oy, word. That was funny and right-on. Self-righteousness (masked as integrity and dignity) is the hallmark of the 20s (age-wise, not the Roarin’ 20s).
Also, nice quoting feature there, how’d you do that?
copy the text, paste it in the reply pane, and begin and end the quoted bits with blockquote and /blockquote (with a “” around each blockquote
argh - less-than sign and greater-than sign around the blockquotes
Testing, 1..2…3
Woo, cool, thanks!
If you’d told me a few years ago that I would be spending many a weekend jumping on stage with the Devil and singing “We wanna fuck!” I don’t know what I would have thought, but, seriously…the Falsies are fanfreakingtastic. I know I’m going to have a great time when I go to a Falsies concert because they put on a SHOW. They’re all talented musicians (I actually followed Peter into this band after seeing him play cello with The Marzaks) who realize that as important as it is to “sound good” it’s most important to ROCK AND ROLL. Give me intentionally bad drag, rockabilly girls, and the God of Thunder over boys staring down at their guitars any day. Long live!
Well its pretty simple. I agree with Philosophical Scribbles.
“the best-worst band you’ve seen and could stay to listen to†or something like that. I think a certain amount of suckage is what they’re after. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re in on their own joke and probably laughing at the odd person who isn’t laughing with them. Think Monty Python & Sex Pistols putting on a Dada-ist musical and you have The Falsies’ live show. It’s brilliant actually.”
However, I noticed at this past show, that their “suckage” was actually being overtaken, by good rock and roll, solid musicianship, and an ethusiastic and engaging performance quality. Bent down and taking it.
Cripsy I must correct you about your earlier comments, Peter is actually also a pianist, bassist etc. and Lance if I must say is a bad ass drummer. If you dont get it, well then they are right to sing… “We’re more rock and roll than you!!!!!!”
Wait a minute, Ethan. Your standards and dignity dictate that you should tell other people to shoot themselves? Maybe your mom should get you back to therapy.
This band uses the same ol’ schtick every. single. time. I have memorized their lines and know exactly what they will say before they even say it. The songs are simple and not all that musically great. Entertaining? Yes. Boring show after the first 2-3 times you see them? Definitely.
First off, Cripsy rules for a killa piece on one of my favorite c-ville bands! Side-splitting, uber-catchy songs and a wig-your-momma-out live show means rock-n-roll to me too. Falsies rule!
Secondly, I totally disagree with whoever made comment #56. The windup to each song is partly why I love this band so much. They’re having so much fun together. And it’s kinda like getting a small one act play before each song. But, I suppose you’d rather hear someone say “and this next song is called…” Now that’s boring!
rock n’ roll is not THAT rehearsed.
the falsies are fun, but i AM sick of seeing the same show over. and. over. and. over. again. but, i find that to e the case with alot of the local bands. for instance: i LOVE the kings of belmont– they are loads of fun and really talented guys, but they play the same songs at EVERY show. i am hoping the R2 show in Dec. will be something newish. and i wonder when their CD is coming out?
uhh. Thanks for dictating what rock-n-roll can’t be. How very un rock-n-roll of you.
I never said what rock n’ roll can or can’t be. READ.
I said it’s not that rehearsed. not any time I’ve seen it, anyway.
I just want some crazy, balls to the walls rock music, which is what The Falsies seem to think they are. there are plenty of bands in charlottesville who are equally, if not more, original.
Nice attempt at a back-track, uhh. Your first two sentences contradict each other. Besides being a rhetorically challenged, budding rock-nazi you’re a petty-chump for judging a band on how they introduce their songs.
P.S. The Falsies aren’t the ones claiming that they’re “crazy, balls to the wall rock music”… it’s the people that listen to them, including critics from this and other publications.
You can’t forget the absurdity! This band was never about technical talent. When Lance, Josh, Jessi and Peter started back in 2005, technical incompetence was a prerequisite. The lesson? You don’t have to be insanely talented to be insanely fun. You can have your gimmicky “in-tune” bands with their “quality instruments” and “indie-pop” experimental shit, but I’d rather have the bizarre comforts of the Falsies. They’re more rock and roll than any Caribou/Of Montreal/Peter, Bjorn and Whoever-the-Fuck hipster-fascist any day.
[…] Anyone who caught last September’s Freak Fest will remember it as a suprisingly smooth-running crazy-quilt of odd acts leap-frogging between two stages with cameramen, audience and mixed-metaphors in tow. It was well-attended, it was a bucket-o-fun, and it worked largely due to the labors of its mastermind, one Lance Brenner (yes, that Lance Brenner) of The Naked Puritans, Thrum and, of course, the Falsies. […]
cyndimacattack, quit trying to defend shitty music.
Name a few, uhh.
More orifinal bands, that it. Love to see ‘em.
geez,
More original bands, that is.
Yeah, I hate the Falsies but Peter Markush was brilliant in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. So it’s even more annoying they choose to be crappie. Yeah, I get the joke.
What’s so original about the falsies? They suck. Things have sucked for thousands of years.
Unsubstantiated attacks on the bravest and most brilliantly provocative local band Charlottesville will make in this decade are acts of jealousy and thoughtless malice. You can’t even answer Cripsy’s question. You just snipe the same B.S. as your last boring post.
You’re the wanna-be Lee Harvey Oswald of local music. Luckily your little pea-shooter doesn’t have enough power to off or silence anybody.
That last one’s for Uhhh.
And Ethan, if you and Uhhh aren’t one and the same… then I’m dubbing you the Don Quixote’ de la Cvillain. Many a good windmill around here seems a monster to you. And many a kind Sancho Panza has tried to tell you that you’re being laughed AT but still you blindly tilt on.
Oh, knight errant (emphasis on errant) your horse is dead and still you beat it?! Lay down your flaccid sword and rest your feeble mind.
HEY MO! JUST GOT BACK FROM A DOUBLE FUNERAL= CHRIS, LEAD SINGER OF THE LEGENDARY PUNK BAND “BEEX”AND HER MOM, WOOOOOO!! GOT YOU A GIFT FROM CHRIS FROM HER FUNERAL YOU KNOW ITS HER LAST T-SHIRT FUCKIN COOL! CUM OVER SOON GIRL GOT A PIC OR 2 OF ME FROM 1979 WITH ME STICKS.. LOVE THE FALSIES CHRIS….
[…] Falsies can do no wrong. Check out my cVillain review for the […]