Shenandoah Joe Coffee Roasters
It’s a post like this that makes me feel like a bad person. In fact, I had to make sure the franchise has been around for a while before posting this (1995, to be exact). Here it comes: if I had to choose between listening to their radio ads and being submerged in a boiling vat of gourmet coffee with radio emergency alert tests hooked up to my brain, I’d take the latter. “And then I made another pot, and then I made another pot…” Yeah, I’m sure you did. Last heard on 106.1 the Corner.
Lipizzaner Stallions
Again, bad person. Some of you might have actually paid $20-$30 to see horses do tricks at JPJ on Friday. I’m sorry to hear that. What killed me about the ad for the show was that it sounded like these horses were so extraordinary that they could juggle while riding a unicycle and pass the Bar in 46 states. But then I thought about it and remembered that they’re still horses, and nothing will change that their brains are the size of hacky sacks. Last heard on… I forget.
For just $89, you can have [pause] The Inspector [pause] show up at your place to make sure you and your family aren’t breathing an “odorless, deady gas.” This is a special price before the holiday season, mind you. Because you especially don’t want your family to die over the holidays. It ruins travel plans. Come ON. Just tell us the inspection is highly recommended. (Upon visiting their website, though, I can tell you that they take everything pretty seriously. Check out the three-legged stool.) Last heard on 97.5.
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Tagged as: Charlottesville, Humor, Rants
how could you forget the virginia tile commercials? wow…
it wasn’t a radio ad, but the most unfortunate ad placement I ever was was on the History channel one day. I was watching a documentary on the early Nazi era in Germany, specifically about the SturmAbteilung (the police arm of the party at that time) who were known due to their uniforms as the Brown Shirts when one of those little roll-over ads came up on the screen for UPS.
So, while the narrator was discussing the atrocities of the Brown Shirts, UPS was asking me “What can brown do for you?”
oh, and speaking of “Brown” - hate those “Brown Brown Brown, you’ll love the service!” ads. Loath. Hate. Despise.
Those Brown ads are brilliant in that everyone who has ever lived in Charlottesville knows that jingle well.
I stay away from commercial radio whenever possible, but sometimes come into contact with 97.5 during UVa games. All of those ads are attrocious.
brilliant recognition-wise; not-so-brilliant seeing how I’d rather perform dental surgery on myself, sans Nitrous, than to go into Brown…
Oy, it’s stuck in my head! Aaaagh! I think you identified the winner of the worst though, for which I applaud you.
And uhh, I wrote “you and your family isn’t.” It’s “aren’t” now.
Don’t get me started on Brown’s “Tires for Life” ‘deal’.
Does anyone else recall Free Bridge Autos’ Cheech & Chong commercial from about a year ago? SO Hootersville, but I giggled uncontrollably every time I heard it…
Well, ok now we’re crossing mediums, but those Free Bridge Auto television ads, in which the owner (who you can just tell is a prick) finds various clever ways to remind us that “everybody rides”, are simply the worst.
I would never step foot in that place after seeing those ads.
I just wrestled with that myself, Jim.
After the “bear incident” last year, I found myself with an insurance check and a need to buy a car. I really wanted one of those Kleenex boxes you see everywhere. They are ultimately made by Toyota, and so, failing to find one used, off I went to Brown. ‘Tires for Life’ was repeatedly pitched to me, even though I pretty much knew what I wanted and knew the price was fixed. The deal is, if you do your regular services at Brown, you will get tires for life. On top of this I was told, the first three services were “absolutey free”. I saw what this ‘deal’ this was, but figured on at least taking advantage of the three free services. 5000 miles later and in I go. They change my oil and whatnot and charge me nothing. Excellent. 10,000 miles and its time to go in again. They do their thing, but then ask me for twenty bucks. For what? They rotated my tires. Only the “oil change” is free. I protested, saying that the salesman had repeatedly said first three “services” were free, not “oil changes”, but to no avail. I had at least thought they should have told me about the charge upfront, before the work was done. So when I hit 15,000 miles and called to make an appointment I had the prescience to ask how much it would be costing out of pocket. I am glad I did! $189.00! What for, asked I. I was then read a list of “inspections” and changing one air filter. Inspections? You mean like “looking at” any giving system? Not actually “doing” anything, just “checking”. And if you “inspected my coolant” and found it low you would the charge me to top it off? Yes. $189.00 was the base price. It would have just been “topped” off as well. Well shit, I can get tires for the charge of the third service alone. Free service indeed. Thing that really gets me is they would not have disclosed that “fee” if I had not asked and it would have been too late. Slime.
“Brown brown brown, we’re intentionally nebulous about what service means…”
It’s not so much annoying, as disturbing: Woodlands of Charlottesville with it’s resort-style swimming pools and gourmet kitchen layout…marketed to college students. Shudder.
“You step out of your shower on to your newly tiled floor. You reach for a towel from your towel warmer. You feel good about getting the bathroom of your dreams…” or something like that. I can’t quote it completely because I immediately reach for the dial when I hear that commercial.
It uses its adjectives like a 7th grader learning to write fiction. I have to admit, it is slightly amusing. That’s one of the perks of living in a small media market.
“You shake your head and smile because you can’t believe your floor is warm…”
I hate that one!!
I’m not sure whether this was a regional thing, but does anybody remember those damned Crestar ads from the mid 90’s? I’m having painful flashbacks…
Hi, I’m new here, but what about the Aberdeen Barn radio ads? “definitely…the barn”
“you’re so proud of yourself for insisting on the warm tile floor”, “When you make a mistake with tile, you cry three times [wtf?]”Oh, whats the other one…”our store is like a Christmas shop… [no, actually I’ve been in there and its more like a tile shop, asshole]”.
First off, if your list of achievements in life includes “#7. Told tile guy to put in floor warming system” then you need to be gang-raped by some escaped convicts. Next, if there’s some inside story to the crying three times thing, then tell it or shut the fuck up, Bruce. Next, unless you’re selling tile in a Santa suit, I don’t want to hear the ‘Christmas shop’ nonsense. Lastly, you’ve got one of the creepiest voices on the radio so hire someone to do your adds for you. Oh, and you’re telling me that people actually encouraged you to open a tile store?!? How the fuck does that matter to me? I want good tile, cheap, and I don’t want my order all fucked up or to be ripped off when I have to return something. Maybe those people should encourage you to get out of the tile business now
At least Wainwright has a reasonably hot red-head.
Comment #16 obviously directed at Virginia Tile adds, but I hate the Brown, Brown, Brown one too.
By marketing standards, these ads are all successes. “Zoom zoom zoom” and the Aflac duck and the Geico gecko…
I’m more the “Real men of genius” type.
Nothing beats http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD8o9bt-eWg , period.