This is the second part of a three-part series on dating in Charlottesville. You can read the first part, “The first date,” and the fascinating discussion that came of it, by clicking on this link. In the third comment, Tim made the point that the first date isn’t nearly as bad as the subsequent ones. I couldn’t agree more. Hence three parts.
I dread the second date. I’m a pessimist in disguise. There are three reasons that people go on second dates. One is that both like each other with the same intensity and for the same reasons. The second is that either the man or woman is kind of uncertain of his or her feelings, so another date is needed to determine whether or not the feeling is mutual or serious. The third is that the woman wants to be taken out for a free dinner, and she’s awful! In my experience, the second date is usually the second case. Someone’s skeptical.
Fair game
Like the first date, I think the next few dates should be about personality. As such, I try to avoid situations where someone can suck at an activity that has nothing to do with their personality. (This excludes karaoke, for example, because it’s more funny if you do suck, and there’s a lot of personality involved.) We all talk about having “hand.” The beginning should be like one long high-five.
I decided to see where things might go with a friend of a friend who had expressed interest. We quickly found out we both love Scrabble, so he suggested we play when he brought me home. It was so refreshing– he wanted to do an activity at my place other than hook up, and he liked Scrabble! But I had no idea that he was really competitive, so his loss was not a graceful one. It bothered him so much, in fact, that after his second (or fifth?) loss, our mutual friend actually told me she’d heard about it. I think it wouldn’t have been such a big deal if he’d already dated me for six weeks and thought I was kind of a loser in other ways. We’d, like, tie.
The role reversal happened a few months before. A guy invited me to go wakeboarding. I’d never done it, and I’m not a waterskiier or snowboarder, so I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity. I could tell we weren’t the love story of the century, so I didn’t mind putting myself in a position of worthlessness so early. I achieved the highest echelons of suckitude that day. He and his friends had to keep driving the boat around in circles to retrieve me and give me instructions. Not hot.
What you see is what you get
I care about how a man chooses to live. There, I said it! I have to know that he actually has a roll of toilet paper, or that he can sleep without childhood stuffed animals, or that he owns a metal fork. I’m going to call her out– I know Yupster. (She never comments, she just posts randomly, which I, too, think is weird. She’s “scared of the comment culture.”) Anyway, she did casting for MTV’s reality show Room Raiders for a couple of months, and she pre-screened 400 bedrooms with the job. She’s given me permission to share some of her best sightings. Granted, these are mostly college kids, but some of the examples resonate. (Unrelated: if you’ve ever worked in reality TV I want to hear from you. I’m jealous.)
I’ll start with the juicy stuff. Apparently, some men needed to put away the lotion and Gold Bond. Most often-cited location: bedside table. Condoms, they must have stowed. She said women tended to have clean bathrooms and stowed personal hygiene and beauty products, but the dirty bathrooms were so bad she would hold it until the next house. Pet smells and carpet stains were mostly minimal. She did not see dirty laundry or bills very often. Costumes and toys she did see a lot of, but it was her job to get kids to show them to her.
What made people’s rooms stand out was creativity. Wall coverings were usually unframed posters– the same inspirational messages, original art, and reference texts showed up over and over again. (Those are hilarious.) Snapshots of friends getting drunk together were exhausting for our choosy (ahem) raider of rooms. But painted walls, sculptures, blown-up photography, and light fixtures made a world of difference in making interviewees stand out– principally, that their spaces suggested they had a personality. Like people who took care of their physical well-being, people who took care of their physical space didn’t make someone more interesting to Yupster, necessarily, but it was an “in” to wanting to know more about the person. She said that they usually made the accents themselves or picked them up at places ranging from Goodwill to Ikea to Design Within Reach, so it was not just a matter of “haves” and “have-nots.” Here in town, we’ve got the Salvation Army on Ridge and the new SPCA rummage store on Preston, and there’s Michael’s for your craft paint. If even reading about arts and crafts is making the right side of your brain cramp and ask for a piggy-back ride, surely you have a bored creative friend. It doesn’t take much.
Living space is something pretty easy and inexpensive to keep looking presentable that your date sees as a reflection and extension of you. And if headboard mirrors and “purple people eater” toys are the reflections and extensions you want, do it!
Don’t sweat the small stuff
This is the part where I undo what I just said. Some of the kindest, most caring people I’ve come across had to tell me early on that something fairly significant in their lives was what they perceived to be deal-breakers. I’ll adjust these stories to protect identity, but I think they’re good illustrations of the point– just that I’m glad I stuck things out.
One such gentleman got unlucky and was nailed with providing alcohol for minors. He stuck to the rules– he stayed sober, saw his probation officer, and commuted on bicycle. I was more than happy to pick him up for dates. Another was very apologetic about his place, but he worked his tail off at the office, traveled, and competed in rowing. I didn’t think twice about it.
I often hear that the selection is limited around here, but I think some limit a great selection.
Talk talk talk. Talk talk. Your turn. I’m not an expert, I just like talking about dating.
Alright. It’s your turn. I gave three early pitfalls, but there are TONS. What other pitfalls are there, and how do you avoid them? Any horror stories you can tell (while still protecting privacy)?
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Tagged as: Charlottesville, Men, Singles Scene
Yup. All true.
And yup, I’m a way picky eater. But I wait until like the 4th date to show it. Is that a dealbreaker I should say in my dating application?
Wait, who uses Gold Bond for sexual things? Am I missing something?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Gold Bond thing is just TMI, Thor. Like a woman leaving yeast infection meds out by her bedside. Just not good form to do so.
Lilith, by second date, I’m luckily most often in your first grouping: both are interested parties. If I’m in group number two, very likely it’s because I’m judging myself. The reason I’m going on the date isn’t so much to get more information, as to prove to myself that I couldn’t be so small-minded as to reject a guy based upon some sort of Seinfeld-esque, knee-jerk reaction. Unfortunately, these dates rarely go well. Usually, I find out that whatever odd little thing caused my initially non-positive reaction was merely a sign of other, deeper and more clearly non-compatible traits. The gut seems to always know, even when the brain has insisted on a full and fair rehearing. And I always insist on paying for these second dates. Probably, the guy paid for the first date, anyway, despite my offering to help out. At least this way, my conscience is a bit more clear. I’ve given him (and myself) another chance. I’ve evened the monetary scales. We can now either walk away as friends or at least without bitterness.
My biggest dating pet-peeve is that 90% of you women come off (superficially at least) as exactly the same. You read the same books and magazines, you watch the same tv shows, you have carbon-copy plans for your futures and names for your future kids. A little originality and a willingness to let me know you’re different goes a long way. The second-to-last good date I had that turned into a second date was with a kick-boxing, range-shooting, accordian playing, vegan buddhist! Hows that for breaking out of the mold? Someone who’s chosen a very distinct path in life and made choices unique to themselves (she doesn’t live here, but my description only fits a handful of people, so maybe you know her?) stands out in so many ways over the girl who’s favorite book was DaVinci Code and who watches Grey’s Anatomy regularly. My life story reads like a slow-speed train wreck, so I’ll usually lead out with all my disqualifiers* up front and see if I can manage to scare a girl off, if not and there’s significant mutual attraction (I think I’m more picky than Yupster there) then everything is wonderful and all is right with the world… at least till part 3 (the break-up, I’m guessing?)
*for example, (and I’m outing myself a bit here) a few years ago I lived off the grid for 18 months. Not camping through the Rockies or anything fun, right here in C-Ville. No electricity, no running water, etc… (not my choice of lifestyle by the way). Triggers the ‘Check please!’ response frequently. (though I have been told I have the best life story ever, also)
hip doof~ clearly you are still single because you don’t have a fucking clue about women. You truly are a doofus.
Why all the negativity, caroline? All I said was that I like a little (or a lot of) uniqueness in a girl I’m dating, and a willingness to show it…? How does that make me clueless? Do I exaggerate a bit to make my point? Sure. But why the hostility? DaVinci Code your favorite book? Grey’s your must-see?
not DaVinci, but must see Grey’s!
h-d: I think
“90% of you women come off (superficially at least) as exactly the same”
probably sounds something like
“you men are all pigs. maybe 10% excluded.”
I’m trying not to get into “good qualities” versus “bad qualities.” I secretly flip out when I see a Confederate flag in someone’s place (not as uncommon as I’d like in these here parts), but another woman might appreciate what that says as a physical extention of self. I assume that we all go for different things, and differences are relative.
I’m trying to get at early disqualifiers that have nothing to do with the substance of a connection between two people.
hipster-doofus - I don’t mean to speak for miss caroline, and as a self hating female I’m a little surprised at my own desire to defend the gender at large, but it’s been my experience that the people who seem so unique the first two or three times you meet them turn out to be remarkably boring in the same sad noncomformist ways (attention-seeking and fear of rejection leading to a need to live one’s life story on their sleeve coupled with a too cool for school remoteness).
Conversely, once you get past that fact that she works in a cubicle, prefers to shop at J. Crew just because it’s practical and doesn’t hate Zack Braff enough to totally give up on Scrubs, she’s just as likely to have some interesting story driving her khakis wearing cubeness as the chick who is basically begging you to ask her about her tatoo and refuses to eat with silverware.
Or she could be a total dipshit. But at least she’ll be an honest dipshit. (This is why, despite my distaste for the sorority types, I respect their frankness.)
I think the point should be:
Ladies,
You’re not the size of your breasts. You’re not the TV you watch. You’re not your job. You’re not a religion. You’re not a long list of hobbies.
(And reading books is good, no matter how fluff the book is, at least you can read. And do read.)
Yeah, I ripped off Fight Club. And what?
(h-d = timm-ay)
Lys, that was hilarious and SO perfectly true.
lys- can you start giving classes? you are spot on. they are basically just two opposite ways of being vain and dull.
lys should start a fan club. or a blog. whoops! done.
h-d’s not bad, he just has his opinion. we’ve all been tossed around by slutty members of the other gender. it sucks and it makes you bitter. also it possibly sometimes can make you homeless, apparently.
lys is hot.
Back on topic, dealbreakers. Well “deal” is bad word, but anyway. I had the traditional dealbreaker once: she was mean to the waitron, first time I met her at a restaurant. As in, no tip because the waitron had pissed her off. (I was just meeting her, not on the check.) Did I sneak back to leave a few bills? I don’t think it was actually one of those goodperson-badperson dynamics. She was just having a bad day, she’d taken her kid to the restaurant, etc. But it is the traditional dealbreaker, right.
I also had a problem with somebody who kept walking sideways into me when we were walking. Not like, I have a close personal space, but like, I am pushing you! In retrospect, cute.
Lys, I love the way you categorize all non-conformists with all of the wit and wisdom of a bumper sticker. Are you an ultra-conformist who can’t stand anyone who bends the rules? Or an ultra-non-conformist who thinks that run or the mill non-conformists are hurting your anti-establishment reputation? Based on where you work I’d say the former… but then I’d be stereotyping you, wouldn’t I? Just because I find it attractive that a girl has let her principles and passions lead her away from the flock a bit and isn’t afraid to let people know it doesn’t mean I won’t date a girl who shops at J Crew or works in a cubicle. Clearly you feel I can’t tell the pretenders from the real deal either, which you can, making you more intelligent, perceptive, and observant than me. Congratulations.
Potential Deal Breakers (all relative and environmentally unique):
- Tramp Stamp
- Plain Jane Vanilla personality
- Not enjoying good food
- Too much make-up
- No Sense of Humor
- Scared of Chariots
- Not Willing to take Risks (i.e. new food items, ice cream at midnight)
- Inability to have opinion
- Special interest/hobbies mentioned include all of the following: celebrities, Oprah, shopping, TV,
- Does not like arrested development or the office
- bad smile
Im never dating again, and as such, have nothing of value to add to this thread.
Addenda to Thor’s list of red flags:
– One or more of following bumper stickers on car:
1) Rebel flag
2) Got Jesus?
3) the one with Calvin peeing on a Ford/Chevy logo
4) Bush/Cheney ‘04 (Your guy WON! I get it!)
– Majority of footwear consists of flipflops
– Majority of outerwear has professional sports team logo(s)
– PS2 or gaming console the dominant feature of living room (inconspicuous Wii ownership okay though)
– US Weekly subscriber
– Wears his/her baseball cap backwards
– Wears baseball cap at any function besides rec league softball games
– Sleeps on a tatami mat
– Olson twins posters
– L. Ron Hubbard anthologies
Ha! The lilith list includes all of mintyfresh’s and a few more:
- Incessant movie quotes or actor impersonations
- Pet reptiles (OH MY GOD)
- 800 Myspace friends, mostly female porny friends
- Remember the jeans thread?
- Thinking homosexuality is a choice
- Also seconding Thor on lack of sense of adventure or open-mindedness to trying new things
My list adds:
- lack of pulse (most of the time)
- eyesight (that usually rules out me getting a 2nd date…)
- sense of smell (ditto)
Whoa whoa whoa. Some people got nice tattoos placed on their back before it was dubbed a “tramp stamp”.
And Parlie,
Sometimes “slutty” is just “looking for love in all the wrong places”…
Great. Now I have that in my head.
Not a fan of the word “slut.” Too often, it’s assumed that a woman or man is promiscuous based on looks, flirtation, and long-term single status. And a reputation as a “slut” in Charlottesville can be paralyzing for women and men alike. I don’t see a lot of people escape it.
That having been said, parlie totally has a point about getting burned.
Not to be judgmental and shallow, but if my date ever pee’s her pants it’s OVER.
Just sayin’
Hahahahahahaha
How many people have been bed-wetted by a bed-buddy?
I, for one, am super scared of the s-word around here. Last night two friends I don’t see often said they assumed I’ve been “seeing people all this time”. AHHHH!!! No!!! I mean, can’t you just tell me “in all this time we haven’t been seeing you out with guys other than the friends you’ve had since you moved back here, we just assumed you were translating nineteenth centruy Russian texts to braille and saving arctic seals.” I will be there on Thursday (again, was @ SS) and I am going to have fun, because that’s *apparently* what I do.
My big deal-breaker: guy has to have traveled by himeslf out of the country. It sounds like a lot to ask, but a lot of guys have done it. Question for people: I’m scared of big dogs (!!!), and I know dog owners can’t understand people who don’t want to be around their dog (to the point of yelling at me). If I meet a big smelly dog on a leash attached to an awesome owner, I’ll obviously suck it up. But if you were me would you tell the guy about the dog fear or not? Is it obvious? (A woman in my office could tell I’m not the babysitting type within weeks!) I don’t want my dog fear to be a deal-breaker. Since this is all hypothetical because I haven’t been “seeing people all the time” it’s probably not important. But it’s the principle, yeah?
An old college buddy of mine would often half-awake at 4 or 5 in the morning after a heavy night of drinking, get out of his girlfriend’s bed, walk to the corner of her room, and take a wiz. He’d then go back to bed and awake hours later oblivious to the fact that he had voided his bladder in her laundry basket. She was not amused but seemingly charmed enough by his waking behavior to date him for two years.
One of his first nights at college his roomate awoke to the sight of my friend rising out bed, opening his desk draw, and relieving himself. A couple of year’s after college, this same friend burst into my room and pissed in my shoe. Good times.
I don’t care what the rest of you say, but if a girl makes out with another girl in South Street (or any bar, really), she’s a slut.
Ethan, you old charmer you.
You’re not only pissing off just about every woman who reads this site, but you’ve really just pissed off every woman who makes out with other women.
Think about that for a second.
Personally, I *love* women who kiss women - but I guess I’m just weird that way
(and I had a little lip wrasslin’ with two women the other week at the aforementioned South Street - what does that make me?)
Yupster - I guess the dog owner’s reaction will, of course, vary. But it will also probably be effected (affected? I always get that one wrong) by your willingness to attempt to get to know the pup. Since you say it’s not a dealbreaker, I’m assuming that means you just need some time to get comfortable with the hound, which nobody should have a problem with.
Sorry Ethan, but oy, please keep up the good work! Giddy UP! The pre-Halloween weekend, a bar make-out took place behind me that I had to move to stop myself from trying to watch. Hair pulling. Yes, all for it at bars. At coffee and ice cream shops, though, no. Stop.
not so much “work” as “hobby”
I was lucky enough to grab handfulls of red-head and brunette hair. Was hoping to add a blonde to complete the trifecta, but it didn’t work out.
Oh crap - did I just blow any ‘nice guy’ cred I’d earned with the Villain’ettes?
“I don’t care what the rest of you say, but if a girl makes out with another girl in South Street (or any bar, really), she’s a slut.”
Or a lesbian? Or bi? Duh? Or, has found a creative way to partner with her friend, to tell some overly annoying and persistent guy that, “yes, each of us were serious when we politely declined your advances…all seven times. Perhaps this will make an impression.”
Or more like two girls with low self-image who have to resort to that to get the attention of men. Generally, the wrong type of attention. Making out in bars is pretty unclassy any way you cut it, regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
Has the “Two Girls, One Cup” fiasco been mentioned yet at Cvillain? I think this would be the appropriate thread for that.
Making out at the bar = NO(even though I’m a guilty party — it needed to happen in order to get to the whole “so can I stay at your place?” position)
Ethan: although I usually agree with your opinions, two chicks making out doesn’t always mean they need attention, sometimes chicks get wasted and just have to make out with each other — for ril.
Ah, 2 Girls 1 Cup. I didn’t make it too far before having to cut it off. If it weren’t for the whole anonymous thing, I would suggest we do a thread of reaction vids. I saw one the other day from a guy who showed it to his grandma….classic. As for other more relevant points:
-2 chicks making out is awesome, anytime anywhere.
-Thor gets major points for recognizing the brilliance of Arrested Development, aka the greatest show ever made in the history of mankind.
- I’m not totally against “sluts,” they have their moments when they are in fact useful.
-I don’t think not liking big dogs should be any kind of deal breaker, it should be more about both parties willingness to work around it and compromise.
-I’m not really into making lists of deal breakers so much as I am deal makers. I like to be open to possibilities, but I certainly know things that I especially like or prefer: Star Wars fan, Arrested Development fan, TV/movie fan in general, into fitness/excercise, holds their own at the bar, adventurous eater, very outgoing and social.
No way we are gonna post a link/video of 2 girls 1 cup.. are you crazy? Avert ye eyes oh children.
its a gross video, ill give you that, but in the interest of science and our robust debate on just exactly what makes a “slut,” that could be a good benchmark to judge others… not that i condone judging others by the gross-out porn movies they make.
Never underestimate the power of the internet to scar you for life. Stay away from that video. It is truly the dark side of Rule 34. If we are using that as a benchmark for slutitude, then all is lost.
Now I have to see this video.
Consider yourself warned Lilith. There’s no turning back.
For some perspective: it almost made Joe Rogan, the host of Fear Factor, throw up.
Can I just ask what kind of cup we’re talking about? Noun with tea? Verb with hand? Upper abdomen noun?
You can read about it on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site#2girls1cup.com
I doubt you really want to see any of those things, goatse begin the most common.
Good thing to talk about on a first date though!
Ah. Nevermind.
GROSS! I appreciate the wiki-link, colfer. I’d been wondering what the big deal was about that particular video. I now know enough to hope that I absolutely never see it.
*shrug* the somethingawful goons raised a thousand bucks almost four years ago to pay for a half a dozen Brazilian chicks to shit and barf in each other’s mouths for 60 minutes, just to see if they’d do it. 2 girls one cup just isn’t edgy enough by 2007 standards.
I promise this isn’t 2 Girls 1 Cup, but rather it’s an article from cnn.com called “Why bad kissers don’t get to second base”: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/12/03/bad.kissers/index.html
Should make for an interesting extension of the post.
Oh, pardon me, it was $500 for 3 girls.
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-of-porn/horrible-saga-swapavi.php
thatgrrl, wanna make out? ethan, been turned down too many times by beautiful women enjoying other beautiful women??? poor baby.
WHEN A KISS IS JUST A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
From the CNN article Tim linked to: “Women … use kissing as a mate-assessment technique… They subconsciously evaluate mating potential from the chemicals in their partner’s saliva and breath.”
Say what???
So if I’d mated with most of the guys I’ve snogged the babies would be born looking like a fifth of Knob Creek with a head shaped like a squashed pack of Wider Camels? Or have I missed the point here?
Caroline, no, but nice try at making me look bitter. I just think that making out at a bar is immature, particularly when women do it, which I feel that it is largely a grasp for male attention. I just happen to feel that such behavior is indicative of an underlying lack of self-esteem, and thus “slutty.” Sure, it’s kind of arousing in a way, but it lowers the participants to the level of a sex object, in my mind. I may want to give them a pearl necklace, but I don’t want a relationship with a girl like that either. How many girls go to Mardi Gras parties and show their tits for beads? A lot. How many girls will make out with each other just for the photo opportunity. I don’t know. Just peruse facebook. Why is it socially acceptable for girls to make out to get the attention of guys, but not for guys to make out for the attention of girls?
I’m usually not a big fan of double standards, but this is one I can live with…
Ethan, that kind of rocked. You knew more about the most vile form of girl-girl entertainment out there than anyone, and then reject even the quote “sexy” unquote stuff. I respect well-informed decisions and opinions.
Guy-guy is a turn-on for some, by the way. I was completely mesmerized by a gorgeous couple at 216 this weekend. I mean, gorgeous. Take a hot guy, watch him being sexual, then double him. Yes please.
Tim, nice!
ETHAN: There actually ARE women who kiss other women b/c they are attracted to women. These women are called lesbians. And I can assure you that they don’t make out in bars to get the attention of men.
Snarkily,
Silmo
That said your point is partially valid. Myspace is filled with women whose goal (it appears) is to be viewed as “hot”, as sex object (only). I think this trend is a bit disturbing. I am even more disturbed by parents who buy their nine year old girls thongs and any idiot who dresses their baby in a jumper emblazened with “Li’l Pimp” or “Li’l Ho”. Self-esteem is a big issue with men as well (steroids and purging are all rage). But I don’t think it’s fair to refer to women with low self-esteems as sluts. Seems a bit cruel to me. But who the hell am I judge.
On a related note, Why can’t I ever comment on the actual subject of the post? I don’t know … must be the steroids
Yupster, As a dog owner I can say that I would appreciate you’re bringing your concerns to my attention. Not everyone is dog-friendly and knowing that would make me much more conscious of any behavior that could be interpreted as aggressive or intimidating. That being said, I’ve got a medium-sized dog that would melt your heart…
I have made out with both sexes in a bar, but never to get someone elses attention other than the person I’m makin’ out with….i get your point about the “girls gone wild” type and mardi gras flashers, but some women just enjoy kissing other women. Look, I love when boys kiss boys too, especially when they are straight. I know your saying “how can they be straight” but really I’ve seen some of my best guy (straight) friends lock lips and joke around and it’s awesome that they ain’t afraid to go there. It doesn’t make any of us sluts, we’re just gettin’ cozy and havin’ some fun.
Oy:
Need my tuft of red hair back please.
Yupster:
You can get over your fear of big dogs by being around them more often. Why don’t you volunteer to be a dog-walker at the SPCA once in awhile? Some sweet dogs there are just sitting in their kennels all day, pooping and peeing in a corner because there’s nobody to take them out.
And girls making out to show off for boys is not slutty, just sad. Soooo 2004.
Nay Nay, do you know which dog Petey is? He is the ginormous pit bull/mastiff mix in one of the SPCA’s south hallway kennels. . . big as an ox but SO damn sweet! I take him out for walks and it’s like being in Pamplona. I heard that someone had adopted him, but he was still there last weekend. . .
too late - already gave it to a witch so she could conjure up you having eternal lust for me.
a fella’s gotta do what a fella’s gotta do….
There are lots of ways to get attention. Why do young straight women choose kissing instead of bashing beer bottles on your head? Because kissing feels good. Don’t de-complicate humans. Yes, gals do it for attention. But there’s more to it than that alone. Straight girls do it cuz it feels good. It feels good to make out. It feels good to be free enough to take your shirt off in public. It feels good to be proud enough of your body to, for a few moments, prance in front of a camera during Spring Break.
More straight guys don’t do it because in our society men are punished whenever they go outside the box of “acceptable” male-male physical affection. Women too are punished when the affection goes beyond the purpose of pleasing the male gaze. Straight men loooove lesbians until it’s time to give them equal rights.
I’m beginning to really like you grape.
i like grape too. she swoops in and drops a bunch of knowledge all the fuck over the place, then probably disappears, i think. except she’s still here.
the grape is spooky.
wow…I didn’t know my sporadic posts were memorable enough to give me a reputation.
And she’s bilingual. Watch out for bilingual chicks, y’all.
You’re still the only one who’s ever offered to tell us the name of a professor you’ve hooked up with. I was like, “Hot damn! [Pause.] NO!”
Hooked up with a professor? I’d like to hear. whisper it in my ear
holy shit I forgot I wrote that. How do I see my own list of posts? I need to remind myself what I’ve written.
Want me to email it to you?
[…] It all started on December 3. The post was about dating, and the comments went from turn-offs to girls making out at bars to 2g1c. Naturally. A round of applause for dijon bray. Linky-poo. […]
hi! newish here and just poking around reading”you need to read” and what-not…
@23lilith, i am wondering about the whole “slutty” perception if a person has been single for a long time.
i don’t think i understand the connection. and as one who tends to need to mend after a debaucle of the heart- just because i don’t jump into the next coupleship, i might be percieved as slutty?
or will be percieved so?
dunno- just made me think for a couple days and it seems irksome enough that i would like to hear more thoughts on that- since it goes against my nature to hop from one to the next-maybe insight will show me my wrongdoings and explain my extended singledoom.-(