Contributing to this article were: Dr. Jonas von Klenk, Master C, & Jimmy Chocolate Chunkster Junior
After an argument over Charlottesville’s best cookies which involved chains, tasers, boot knives, diapers, and the Police, we decided to settle the issue amicably and as scientifically as possible.
While we initially tried to hire Dr. von Klenk’s rival, Chocborg Tolman at Oxford, we ultimately settled for the less illustrious Klenk, an aspiring rapper, and child with Type II diabetes in a Rascal scooter.
This is the story of three strangers, picked to live in a house and judge cookies. (Caveat: Jimmy, Jr. had to be home for an 8:00 bed time, per his mother’s request.)
Selection Criteria: A list of potential cookie purveyors was evaluated based on one very simple question: Did they make their cookies in-house or purchase from a third party? Additionally, we disqualified any vendors on the Mall’s East End, since they do not operate retail establishments. We also ruled out grocery stores.
Contestants: Albemarle Baking Company Oatmeal Raisin, Albemarle Baking Company Cadillac, Baker’s Palette Chocolate Chip, Baker’s Palette Peanut, Baker’s Palette Molasses, Baggby’s Deli Chocolate Chip, Feast Molasses, Feast Oatmeal Raisin, Feast Chocolate Chip (w/ walnuts), Eppie’s Chocolate Chip, Belmont BBQ Crazy Cookie (coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut), Splendora’s Chocolate Chip, Hot Cakes Chocolate Crinkle, Hot Cakes Oatmeal Raisin, Hot Cakes Chocolate Chip, Las Palmas Tri-Color Cookie (Neopolitan?)
Ranking: All cookies were ranked on a standard 5-point Likert scale, with 3 representing “average.” We initially considered using Dr. von Klenk’s own Luftkessenfarzig scale, but felt that a intestinal impact would take too long to judge. None of the test subjects felt like taking laxatives between courses to ensure identical bowel conditions. Categories used were: aesthetics, taste, texture, individuality, smell, and value.
Qualitative and Quantitative Findings: For each cookie we asked our panelists to rank the cookies using the respective categories. Once we collected the results, the panelists were then allowed to discuss their opinion on the cookie, qualitatively. We have summarized those findings below.
Albemarle Baking Company Oatmeal Raisin
- not clumpy enough
- oats too uniform
- little too dry
- golden raisons too chewy
Albemarle Baking Company Cadillac
- lovely cookie, great crackly crispy top
- too much chocolate
- nice chocolate valleys
- smelled very chocolately
- high marks for the quality of chip dark chocolate
- sexy taste when mixed with milk
Baker’s Palette Chocolate Chip
- Not too exciting for a Chocolate Chip
- another taste in it
- not enough chip
- too sleek
- too chewy
- not enough crunch
- wimpy chunk
- too uniform
Baker’s Palette Peanut
- boring and bland looking
- nice real peanut taste
- prefer fork marks for peanut cookies
- too much mineral/powder taste
- nice texture
- solid, uniform texture
Baker’s Palette Molasses
- not enough molasses
- nice chew/snap like gingersnap
- very congruent taste
Baggby’s
Baggby’s Deli Chocolate Chip
- nothing remarkable, average
- at least you get a big cookie
- smell was blah
- just a cookie
- good value
- basically the same as Pepperidge farm
Feast Molasses
- “that’s what a cookie should taste like”
- sugar on top was a fine touch, nice texture
- crispy edges, moist dense in middle
- nice pervasive taste of clove
- dark MOLASSES taste, rich
- color differential was significant
Feast Oatmeal Raisin
- something wasn’t right
- nice subtle cinnamon smell
- needs more spice
- good oat balance
- wanted bigger and more oats
- was not moist enough
Feast Chocolate Chip (w/ walnuts)
- nothing special about this chocolate chip
- not too sweet
- nice vanilla taste
- “perfect chocolate chip cookie”
- nice coloring
- golden brown coloring
- fatty in middle, crispy outside
- nice big chips
- good to bite into chunky, cubic pieces of chocolate
- even chocolate striations
- too rich. Eggy, maybe?
- very good, satisfying
- great value
Belmont BBQ Crazy Cookie (coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut)
- SPOILED MILK?!?!?!?!?!
- what the f,we all spit it out
- not cooked, grainy
- runoff from dead camels a-hole
- they let me down, because this had been my favorite cookie in town, until they decided to neglect their original recipe
- one of our panelists had to run and spit it out
- got everything there, but didn’t execute
- surely, these are good cookies, but today, they are awful
Splendora’s Chocolate Chip
- ouch.. Nothing special
- not evenly distributed chocolate, it all fell to the bottom
- too small to remember
- bland
Hot Cakes Chocolate Crinkle
- something hard to say about taste, not chocolate
- great fudgie taste
- good for kids
- aftertaste is not great
- could have harder shell
- very post-modern looking
- strong performer, but unique flavor
Hot Cakes Oatmeal Raisin
- golden raisin plus points
- exactly how an oatmeal raison should taste
- up front cinnamon
- good oat dispersal
- plump, rehydrated golden raisins
Hot Cakes Chocolate Chip
- just kinda plain
- nothing special, but not bad either
- small size
Las Palmas
Las Palmas Tri-Color Cookie (Neopolitan?)
- wow how did they make it not stay together
- too much shortening
- what can I say about this cookie that I can’t say about Afghanistan. “all bombed out and depleted”
- La Palmas does have good sweetbreads.
We hereby bestow the following awards on the following cookies:
Feast’s Molasses “Best All-Around Cookie in Charlottesville”
Feast’s Oatmeal & Hot Cakes’ Oatmeal “Runner-Ups for Best Cookie in Charlottesville”
Lessons Learned:
- Don’t eat 17 cookies in one sitting. You will feel sick.
- It helps to have a spit cup for your cookies. We did. It’s really gross though.
Summary of our Findings:
Note: We did not ask all establishments if they used a mix or made their cookies from scratch.
Related posts:
- Charlottesville Welcomes Cappellino’s Crazy Cakes to the Downtown Mall
- Recession Wining and Dining: Blue Moon Dinner
- Week O’ Charlottesville Lunches: Wednesday at Feast
omg… best. post. ever.
you act like oatmeal and raisins in cookies are good things. i don’t understand.
NOW we have an explanation for all the even-toed ungulate body parts that have been found scattered all over the area. Belmont BBQ must be going through a fair few dromedaries to get enough anal run-off to meet demand. Waste Disposal will only take SO many stiffed up exotic animals jammed into wheelie trash cans before questions are asked. We made the mistake of putting out 2 tapirs and a pair of conjoined duck billed platypuses one week and received a very stiff letter from The City.
Perhaps they could market these repulsive sounding cookies to Bulimics who have just had a manicure?…’… why risk chipping your freshly primped nails by jabbing them down your esophagus when you can scarf down a B-BBQ cookie and let nature take it’s course’
(Luuuurved the diabetic kid thing)
Can’t believe you guys didn’t stop by Bread Works…oops, are they open Sundays? Anyway, best cookies ever long time!
I second Bread Works! Great review BGB.
Fun post! It’s hard to imagine a cookie so bad it had to be spit out.
Loved floozy’s comment too.
This was awesome. I agree that the Feast! cookies deserve the prize – I just need to find a good place to get my chocolate chip cooie fix on the Mall.
You should take on brownies next – ever since Fuel closed, I have been at a loss for chocolate goodness.
I’ve always said that the best Oatmeal Raisin cookie in town I’ve tasted was from ZaZus. Do they not make them in house?
Here’s the (downsized) recipe for our chocolate chip cookies. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but in my book the secret to a “good” cookie is a fresh cookie. Any cookie made from scratch that day should be pretty tasty (assuming a half decent recipe). Also, like salad dressings, let me encourage folks to play around with cookies at home. Once you start making and eating your own dough, there’s no going back. Anyways, the recipe:
In one bowl, mix:
2 1/4 cups unsifted AP flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
In a second bowl, mix:
1/2 pound of unsalted butter (2 “sticks”, melted)
3/4 cups sugar
3/4 cups packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
Add “wet” ingredients to dry ingredients. Mix together.
Then add and mix:
1 3/4 cups Ghirardelli Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
And that’s it.
We don’t use walnuts, but if you wanted to, you’d probably want to add 1/2 to 1 cup (same time as you add the choco chips).
Feast! thanks you for your praise of our cookies. The Molasses and Chocolate Chip are my family recipe cookies, passed down from my mother’s side. Mom makes the dough for us because she won’t even give me the recipe because then i “won’t need her any more”.
I passed on the good news of the award and it made her day.
When your sugar high has passed, come by this weekend for our NEW locally made cupcakes – dark choclate & peppermint, almond buttercream, red velvet w/ cream cheese frosting and carrot cake w/ cream cheese frosting. Wash it down w/ our Hot Cocoa topped w/ whipped cream, nutmeg and dark chocolate shavings or spiked egg nog.
Best,
kate
Got distracted doing the math for our cookie recipe. The second thing I wanted to say in my post was:
I agree that Feast’s molasses cookie is the best in town. I don’t buy lots of cookies (for obvious reasons), but that’s one I’ll buy whenever I’m there.
I really like our “scotchie” cookie too (butterscotch oatmeal), but apparently no one else did, so it’s currently RIP in the cookie graveyard.
Kate, what day do the cupcakes arrive and how long are those cupcakes going to be around? I want to try them all, which I’d prefer to do over a few lunch breaks. I love that your mom makes the dough for you guys. The award is so deserved!
Cupcakes start this friday, december 7th. they’ll be here by noon. From then on you’ll be able to get them fresh on mondays, fridays and saturdays and they will always be available by preorder for parties and such. Cocoa and eggnog on Saturdays regularly and on our whim other days.
One problem. It was noted that the ABC Black Cadillac cookie had “too much chocolate.” I’m not sure I want to live in a world where someone thinks that is possible.
Here’s a vote for worst cookie, the free one you get at Bagby’s. Don’t get me wrong, I looove cookies, and even more so the free variety, but the ones they give you with your sandwich at Bagby’s just suck. Free cookie=great concept/ free bad cookie=utter disappointment
Oh, and love the Pueblo Chicken, keep it up
love me some baggby’s baby cookies – ooey gooey centers, crunchy outsides.
Oh, and try the Remarkable sandwich as well – bacon, turkey, sprouts, cream cheese on multi-grain. And their meatball sub.
Thanks for liking our review so much. We will go to Zazus and Bread Works in the near future to add more cookies. If we missed anything else, we promise to hunt it down.
Tim – As for “too much chocolate,” it really was too much. Maybe chocoholics have different preferences?
Members of TheUpstart’s household had some suggestions for other cookies to try:
Mocha Chip at Breadworks
Any cookie from Foods of All Nations
Toll House Cookie Bar from Chandler’s
Key Lime from Anderson’s (I had my doubts, but they’re darn good!)
We’re also partial to the recipes that were handed down from Nana Upstart…no way I’m sharing those, though.
Oh wait! One more!
The apple cookies up at Carter’s Mountain Orchard. They are heavenly!