Spicy Bear Media is the company that manages cVillain.com
Local online-based media company seeks experienced online-ad sales rep
Job Description
We seek an entrepreneurial minded go-getter that will be able to operate without much oversight. We seek an advertising salesperson to sell digital display and interactive advertising across our network of locally based web properties.
Job Qualifications
*Prior interactive advertising sales experience suggested, but not required
*Positive attitude, a keen understanding and interest in Internet marketing and advertising.
*Excellent written, verbal, interpersonal, and presentations skills.
*Self motivated to improvement personal work performance.
*Committed to teamwork and helps fellow employees when needed
*Can develop and execute a sales plan to accomplish revenue objectives
*Can successfully prospect, identify, and implement integrated advertising programs
*Can manage accounts
*Ability to reach sales goals on a quarterly basis
*Familiarity with the business proprietors in Charlottesville;
*Ability to articulate/educate the value of web-based advertising to a community that is not used to using this medium
*Strategic understanding of digital advertising; ability to explain value pitch to potential advertisers
*Ability to work in an unstructured environment independently of management.
Please submit resumes to the email below.
- Location: Charlottesville, VA
- Compensation: Base & Benefits + 15 to 25% Sales Commissions, Depending on Experience
- Stock Options/Awards/Revenue Share are Possible
- OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
- Please, no phone calls about this job!
- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
EMAIL: job-498626039@craigslist.org
Popularity: 2% [?]
Tagged as: Charlottesville, Jobs
OH! OH! ME! ME! ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!
i’m actually not qualified. i just want to meet thor.
Do we have to think outside the box? Because most of my better thoughts are in the box. Im not very good at pushing envelopes either. I also suck at proactively branding a strategic vision that maximizes core value added components while remaining flexible enough to compete in tomorrow’s liquid marketplace. I am, however, kinda good at building and coordinating team-visualized goal clusters that revolve around placement oriented brand utilization while remaing true to the vision of the company mission statement. Then again, I do tend to steal all manner of small office supplies, or, as I like to call it, repurposing micro assets to the broader benefit of a specific human resource, thus expanding capabilities in the personal sector of the work environment which facilitates a greater company loyalty in an immediate need-based capacity. I’ll either run this offer up my flag pole and see how it flies, or I’ll put it right in my wheel house, depending on how my face time with the e-brass pans out this afternoon.
Tell you what thor, fax me lunch, we’ll talk numbers.
The only job I ever had that I hated more than advertising sales was lifeguarding at a retirement complex. Best of luck on your search - I’ve found that newly minted BAs are an excellent source for jobs like this, as they don’t yet know just how miserable telephonic sales can be.
B- Yo,
If you get the job and need a 1st assistant, I may be able to give you an hour here or there. I am a method based assistant, so instead of thinking outside the box, I become the box. The box is everything, and nothing. The box exists, but in a way whereby the box and the ‘concept’ of an anti- box cancel each other out and produce a state whereby one has a total awareness of what the box could be if there was a breakdown in the Space:Time continuum and we really cared if Maury found ‘da baby Daddy’.
On a secondary note, stealing office supplies is not just a nasty nasty little pedant but is in fact a serious character flaw. The hoarding of paper clips, staples and Post-It notes is one of the top indicators that psychologists unearth when they analyze the early years of serial killers, second only to disemboweling live dachshunds called Clive and watching Oprah repeats (joint first).
So put this offer on the back burner, and let’s see what tomorrow brings. Life is too short, so let’s hope a paradigm shift can get us back on track and remember… there is no ‘I’ in team.
Lys… just saw your post as I fired off that crap to B-yo. One of my fave quotes from LTCG was “I used to be a lifeguard ’til some blue kid got me fired”
B-yo is a comic genious!
I actually laughed out loud reading everyone’s comments.
Aaaah Thor… you just said that to be kind because that dyslexic scroat Silmo said B-YO was a comic genital and I was left out.
Thank You Oh Nordic God of Thunder and All Things Pillagable and Plunderable (these made up words make my MAC spell check go flipping haywire!)
Floozy:
I have run some things past legal and, though its like herding cats, the long and short was that they suggested that I offer you, as a strong candidate for first assistant, some points to ponder before we pull the trigger on ‘Operation Paprika Paddington: The internal assimilation of the corporate inner circle of Spicy Bear Media LLC, with the forward thinking intention of performing a leverage based internal consolidation of practical market share and relevant spheres of influence:
• I too read the article in October’s “Suspenders - The Media Mandible of the Power Generation” regarding the box. The “being the box” pro-actualization mental exercise was a indeed a valuable lesson, for its time. Unfortunately, now that it has been in print in a major magazine, and thus been exposed to all competitors specializing in piquant ursine internet ad placement, this knowledge has ironically been relocated completely back within the box. We are going to need to look forward. Outward. Dare to dream. What if there was no box?
• The geographical repurposing of minor stationery supplies has long been accepted practice in a variety of sizes of corporate entities, and has no bearing on any predisposition to maniacal acts of depravity nor sociopathic behavior, either Oprah oriented or otherwise. I, for instance, only ’special requisition’ the occasional pack of small sticky memo pads, which I use to obscure every photographic representation of eyes in my entire residence. I mean the eyes. They just stare. They wont give one any peace. They just have to be covered! I mean… Ahem. Where was I? Ah yes Please feel free to help yourself to any pens, tape, clips or white out.
• While I appreciate your desire for a paradigm shift, though personally I highly advise against back burner-ing any of these exciting opportunities. Its ninth inning, 2 out and the counts 3-2. You only got one chance to knock it out of the park slugger, and this may well be it.
Its shit or get off the pot, for for all we know, Savory Salamander Media LLC is already all over this. We have to shift the paradigm before the paradigm shifts us!
• While there may be no “i” in team, there certainly isn’t any “we” either. Think about that.
I look forward to your correspondence at your earliest convenience.
Thank you, and please advise,
Belmont Wilkerson Yo, esq.
_________________
(This post is available in powerpoint for a modest fee. Just have your people fire me off an email with all the particulars and we will facilitate your needs in a professional and couteous manner.)
Oh fuck you B-Yo… you have just made me nearly piss myself. Now Thor and Oy (my online schmoooozes) will be repulsed at the thought of me in a pair of Depends incontinence knickers and I will no longer be the Flooze of Choice.
I peaked too soon….damnit
I have had time to consider your proposition, if it can be considered as such. How can there be no box? NO FUCKING BOX?????
The supposition of the box/anti-box theory NEVER extrapolated to the conclusion that the box could never be, and ergo make the 5th Law of Reverse Thermokinetic Box Inversion as useless as Anne Frank’s drum kit.
I am currently having great reservations about coming to work for you. Perhaps you could throw some dollar amounts out there, and my inner ho will prevail.
Yours,
Camilla Parker Bowles
Camilla, I hear with great interest your ruminations on dubious extant nature of said, yet theoretical, box. I think the nature of our miscommunication may lay in a slight ‘explanation of extrapolation’ error on my part. My most humble apologies. That said, were I inclined to suppose your box/anti box theory, which, although chagrined at the prospect, I will do for argument, I would certainly not extrapolate that the box “could never be”, but rather more precisely that the “box has not yet been, and may indeed never be”. This, of course, allows for, what some may argue, your pathological cravings to either discover or more likely, invent some sort of box, be it ‘fucking’ or otherwise. And, Camilla, what would be in your invented box? Hmmm? Long repressed feelings of “reservation” that manifest themselves at inopportune moments of the job hunt? I want you to talk with your inner ho when you are having these feelings of reservation. Let that little ho know thats it ok to stride, box-less, through life, with her feelings as uncontained as they may be. Give her permission and let the healing begin. Need a tissue?
Well it looks like our hour is up. I think we made some real progress this week. I think we may be able to really get to the bottom of this rectalineal containment fixation that has been troubling you. See you on the 11th! Don’t forget to write in your dream journal.
Oh and the dollar amount is the same $80 as it is every week. Just leave a check with the receptionist in the lobby. Just make it payable to Dr. Sigmund Yo.
I laugh! I laugh! Geniuses one and all.
You have to see a cville homeboy’s T-shirt shop!
Thanks
http://www.cafepress.com/cvilleshirts
Um steve… the ad section is over there ——->
nice move, slipping an ad in, cville homeboy Steve. there’s one place I will never buy from (which is a shame because those shirts are SOOOO clever).
I can’t tell if some of those misspellings on the shirts were intentional or not. I’m pretty sure they weren’t.