You Asked for It: Worst Christmas Songs Ever in Video

Posted by Thor on December 6th, 2007 19 Comments

In response to Lilith’s changed-name thread: here are our finalists for the worst Christmas and Holiday songs ever. What’s the worst, most bad, most painful, make you want to kill yourself? I have no idea, but they are all really, really bad. I was laughing so hard putting this together. This is probably my favorite post to write, yet.

For lack of space, Gunther, Alvin, Wendy Wilson, Slade, Kylie and more continue after the break…

Gunther - Christmast Song (Thor)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/fqtQwqy4bBw” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Christmas Song (Lys)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/2dnrosVyamY” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Carnie & Wendy Wilson - Hey Santa (sha nay nay)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/VO8NYJ0bZ1c” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Pogues, Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York (caroline)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/ltiY-BqvOIU” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Kylie Minogue - Santa Baby (Chad) (Thor says: this one kinda turns me on)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/0piYwdPD29g” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Slade - Merry Christmas Everyone (Floozy)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/Wi38HkccNiM” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You (Starks)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/RengWX0P5KA” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

New Song - Christmas Shoes (divine ms k)

[kml_flashembed movie=”http://www.youtube.com/v/VNsvE33pRSw” height=”350″ width=”425″ /]

What’s the worst?

Popularity: 3% [?]

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19 Responses to “You Asked for It: Worst Christmas Songs Ever in Video”

  1. 06 Dec 2007 at 4:38 pm1Floozy said:

    OMG… that Gunther dude is fucking scary…. I actually leaned away from the screen when he gave that ’sexy’ look. Classic stuff Thor…thanks for digging up Slade. Those are some bad assed haircuts!
    Kylie is hot… she was even hot back when she had a bouffant poodle perm on the Oz soap Neighbors. However she looks like a recently unearthed Egyptian Mummy compared to her ex boyfriend Oliver Martinez. I would eat the corn out of his shit ( maybe rinse it off a bit first but you get the general idea)

  2. 06 Dec 2007 at 4:42 pm2belmont yo said:

    I would eat the corn out of his shit…

    I prefer the phrase “I would drag myself through a mile of broken glass to masturbate in his/her shadow” myself.

  3. 06 Dec 2007 at 4:44 pm3Thor said:

    PS. Digg this if you know what digg is!

  4. 06 Dec 2007 at 5:36 pm4happyhooker said:

    i think this is the best and worst christmas song ever. hopefully this link works.

    [url=http://www.divshare.com/download/2453431-a32]listen here[/url]

  5. 06 Dec 2007 at 5:54 pm5Tim said:

    How dare you besmirch the name of Gunther. He is the greatest musical artist of our times, changing the worlds look at the sexual way of thinking. “Ding Dong Song” is a modern classic. Consider yourselves lucky he blessed us with a Christmas song.

  6. 06 Dec 2007 at 6:29 pm6Lys said:

    See, I actually totally, shamefully love the Chipmunks song while recognizing that it sounds like someone is playing the record on the wrong speed.

    /still waiting for my hoola hoop

  7. 06 Dec 2007 at 6:35 pm7patience said:

    Christmas Shoes makes me want to kill myself.
    The Gunther song is so bad it is now my favorite Christmas song.

  8. 06 Dec 2007 at 7:52 pm8divine ms k said:

    Hey, cool, I made it on the list! :-)

    But — Fairytale of New York? TOTALLY. EFFING. ROCKS. Any Christmas song that includes the lyrics “Happy Christmas yer arse, God I hope it’s our last” can only be a good thing. The version by The Stars is OK, but lacks a certain soaked-in-whiskey je ne sais quoi.

  9. 06 Dec 2007 at 8:02 pm9KCB said:

    Thank you divine ms. K. Begrudgers of the Pogues, may you share Mr. McGowan’s dental fate:

    http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:yi4Vl5em3cCU3M:http://images2.fotki.com/v292/photos/9/96900/395230/Shane_macgowans_teeth-vi.jpg

  10. 06 Dec 2007 at 8:03 pm10KCB said:

    I echo the divine Ms. K. Begrudgers of the Pogues, may you share the dental fate of Mr. McGowan: http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:yi4Vl5em3cCU3M:http://images2.fotki.com/v292/photos/9/96900/395230/Shane_macgowans_teeth-vi.jpg

  11. 06 Dec 2007 at 8:58 pm11caroline said:

    While I am so pleased to see my name in lights, I chose Fairytale of New York as MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!!!!!!!! no fucking way it could ever be one of the worst….Kirsty and Shane do rock. That post was confusing, some of us lited the BEST and then it turned into the worst.
    kiss kiss thor.

  12. 06 Dec 2007 at 8:59 pm12caroline said:

    listed, not lited, duh

  13. 06 Dec 2007 at 11:23 pm13divine ms k said:

    Whew, caroline, I thought that’s how you meant it as well.
    Edit, pretty please? :-)

  14. 07 Dec 2007 at 12:07 am14Ethan said:

    Has anyone here seen the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special? That has some pretty bad holiday songs, for a fictional Wookie Christmas.

  15. 07 Dec 2007 at 9:26 am15sparky said:

    New Kids on the Block–Funky Funky Christmas!

    It’s awesomely terrible!

    Live on Arsenio:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ykRelehy7M0

  16. 07 Dec 2007 at 9:51 am16Taliesin said:

    The Christmas Shoes by NewSong
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNsvE33pRSw

  17. 07 Dec 2007 at 10:03 am17Thor said:

    Taliesin - we have that one already!

  18. 07 Dec 2007 at 10:57 am18Taliesin said:

    Sorry! I’m all a fluster basking in the glow of successfully navigating the JPJ ticketing system and got Bruce tickets. Yay!

  19. 07 Dec 2007 at 12:58 pm19PopeHolySmoke said:

    Oh man, the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. One of the most craptacular shows to ever grace the airwaves. Search for it on Youtube. It’ll be well worth your time. And Bea Arthur was in it. I think the cast was stoned and/or drunk when they made the show. My vote for worst holiday song of all time: http://www.chunklet.com/images/upload/6/audio_file/01%20O%20Holy%20Night.mp3 It will make yer ears hurt.

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