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Being referred to as “elitist†and being generalized is just plain old insulting to me. I have written extensively about, and have a decade of experience with online communities and socializing online, I have been connecting with people that way as a welcomed alternative or addition to the “real life†options for socializing and I am a strong advocate.
Please read my blog celebrating the inclusiveness of Myspace.
What rules and guidelines for expression that may apply to the internet or lack of same are not necessarily the same that should apply to private managed forums like Cvillain, and that is exactly the beauty of a groomed venue like Cvillain, like a democratic and well governed state, that the tolerance for offensive behavior, whether it be personal attacks or lewd language (what ever the definition) is either ignored or eliminated by moderators, just because it is undesirable and unnecessary. We get along in a civilized society because we have a set of norms that we silently agree upon and adhere to, why should we accept a wild west environment on our favorite internet hang?
If I were to walk into a bar and someone made one or two comments I felt were threatening or downright rude, I would approach the bartender or bouncer and possibly exercise my right to have said person booted. I have even had people removed when bartending just because they crept me out and set off the little alarm bells in my head. This is an example of how low tolerance for abnormal behavior is in real life.
In contrast our general level of acceptance for borderline or even extreme behavior online is remarkable, maybe because there never is a threat of an actual physical confrontation.
Inclusion is the highest form of humanity in my eyes, and I think that there is a healthy level of acceptance from the general Cvillains. Thor and Lilith as moderators have the joy of having created this marvelous venue, but also own the burdensome task of moderating, which means deciding on when to censor without a democratic vote. It is solely on your shoulders to set the guidelines for what is acceptable and not acceptable, for what is to be considered a controversial post versus the offensive, and unfortunately there will be policing needed as long as the Cvillain exist. Unfortunately appealing to rotten apples typically doesn’t work, as people seldom change their behavior.
In the few events that a newbie feel that they got off on the wrong foot and really just wanted to become a part of the friendly and inclusive group that we Cvillains truly are, with all the perks of new friendships, like the amazing friendships I have enjoyed over the last decade. Start a fresh. Get a new handle and start over. And contrast and opinion is good, but if you have nothing positive to add for every negative, don’t bother.
People react very strongly to personal attacks because we really care about each other, and Oy’s reaction is that of a fellow human caring. I think that is admirable, and most of us spend a whole life trying to get other people to care about us, whether we would admit it or not, so why not get on the fast track by joining this community and being a positive addition. But the people that post offensive things are typically looking for a response, and as much as the chivalry may be appreciated, the tested and proven technique to squelch this behavior is not to “bite†and lash back, -but to ignore.
I do also want to appeal to the “seasoned†Cvillains not to have an “us and them†attitude to people that just join the board, which just fosters polarization and resentment. It should not be an intimidating experience to post something controversial, and that should be true of new as well as old Cvillains. As I read through the boards, I see a lot of opinion which is remarkably interesting and entertaining, but I don’t see a lot of questions in the responses, there is a danger in thinking that you naturally understand the word of your fellow posters, when you can’t see their expression and their body language, and you don’t have a rapport. Ask questions when you are not sure if something are meant in a certain way.
Having ratings and seniority is reminiscent of a class system that to me smells like old fascism. Can we not all be equally important in this environment, despite age, shape color and gender as well as seniority as a Cvillain, and celebrate the fact that the internet truly is the great equalizer? Isn’t that why we came together here in the first place?
Popularity: 2% [?]
Tagged as: Blogs, Charlottesville, Questions
TwoOFour, wow. This is quite the essay; and thanks for the post. I think you have expanded upon “welcome to the internet” a little better than I did.
Re: ranking system: If we really do get to the point where posts illicit hundreds of comments like on digg (heaven forbid the amount of time that will take out of my day) we would need something to make reading through comments more efficient. I don’t want to create any kind of internet class system for the site.
Finally, the nice thing about this site is that many of the avid commenters know each other and will have more chances to meet each other as we through bigger, cooler parties. So, real life will trickle into this site, unlike non-local internet sites.
Nicely written TwoOFour.
The issue I have is that one villain’s treasure is another villain’s trash. Some folks are probably quite bored by news stories while others find drunken tales sophomoric. I for one am tickled pink by “poop in the bucket,” others blanch at the scatological.
What to do?
I may be off mark but I think most villains (posters and non posters alike) came to this site for the reviews or news or whatever but keep coming back because they enjoy the back and forth of the posters. last week’s post - the one that seems to have kicked off this whole discussion - was many things: funny, controversial, offensive in parts, informative, … and it was the most commented post in the history of this blog. It was big, messy, occasionally over the line, but it was real discussion. And that I think is a credit to this site and its posters.
Inclusion is the highest form of humanity in my eyes
For me, it is forgiveness.
Oh and, I want to paint that graphic on the side of my 74 Dodge custom van… Maybe with some topless viking space chick with a sword.
Nice yo, I am with you, they are up there in the top side by side. And there are just not enough viking space chick graphics out there. I would be honored.
I have copyrighted all viking space chick graphics in existence.
Being the original Viking Space Chick, purple leather and all, that is fine, as long as I get my royalties sweet Thor.
I have to admit that before the cvillain I had no experience with online communities and socializing online as far as blogs go. I was a lurker on this site for a while, making my first comment in September I think, but I have come to love this little kooky community and all of the characters that come with it. I agree with silmo, the post from last week was awesome, and the back and forth posting is why I come back. I love the funny, controversial, offensive, informative, all wrapped into one place. Don’t change a thing, something is working here. What’s that old saying…..”If it ain’t broke….DON’T fix it!” werd.
Well, we should at least ‘fix’ it so it cant have any children. I mean, there are sooo many neglected bogs already. There’s one that updates in the vacant lot by my house. So sad.
It is the responsible thing to do, Thor.
Being the original Viking Space Chick, purple leather and all…
OMGP1XPLeZeOKTHXBai!!!1!1
Being a current “lurker” (which I might add makes viewing the site seem somewhat stalkeresque) I think the site does invite new readers to join in. Yes, current members maybe slightly intimidating, but comical enough to encourage involvement. It may just be hard for newbies to break into “the family” Example: like Tom in the Godfather, we can’t all be Sicilian. Just something for “the family” to keep in mind.
Lucidcurrent members maybe slightly intimidating…
You lookin at me? Huh? Well, are ya?
/cause I might call you a towel.
B yo is mean
Thanks for your kind post Lu Sid.
No we can’t all be Sicilain but that shouldn’t stop you from running your own numbers racket or shaking down neighborood businesses.
Welcome Lu Sid, and I am happy my post made you “come out ”
Thats it. Towels! The lot of you!
That would be the welcome I was talking about, thanks. I hope some more “lurkers” decide to join after reading the nonthreatening responses (with of course the exception of the towel calling, which is actually in need of some teeth
*rolling out the red fucking carpet* for Lu Sid
nay-nay, how ’bout a little help with that?
TwoOFour, I can’t believe you outed Sid! His wife thinks those long weekend away are “fishing trips” with his “friend.”
It’s OK Sid we got your back
You know, towels with teeth would explain a lot of the scratches all over my body.
I’ll have to check, Im usually not very lucid when I get out of the shower.
Hey Lu… I know your impotent brother Fla and your easy going sister Pla.
But you better not mention his wicked step brother Ran
He stinks.
Yo, Flo, Sil -now that is love, I am proud of you.
Are you going to flirt with nay nay every post, h-d? Just ask her out already dude.
I think she’s spoken for. Plus I expect her to take just a slight offense to my comment above.
I flirt with villainettes one at a time Ethan, and its not her turn yet… (your’s either) that is unless she’s interested?
The intelligent wit of comments 20 through 22 cancel out any allusions to infections and masturbation for the week. Congratulations! You just broke even with me.
Now if only I could find a Ulysses S. Grant in my pocket to make up for this weekend. Or ten. You’re an expensive group to entertain.
So Grant gets a $50 bill, whatever, but in perspective, FDR gets a DIME? JFK and the women folk get after-thought dollar coins NO ONE uses. Andrew Hamilton gets a $10 bill. Wait, did he almost beat Ken Jennings in Jeopardy, or is he that guy that the milk commercial was about with Aaron Burr? Toss-up, like with coins?, pun intended. And Andrew Jackson, Mr. Trail of Tears, gets a $20. Awesome. We celebrate racists, of course we do. Franklin gets $100, which is ironic because he coined (pun intended again) the term, “Money is the root of all evil.” McKinley gets the $500 bill. Who? Exactly. Cleveland gets the $1,000 bill. Who? Sesame Street president? Yes, Grover, bingo. Madison gets the $5,000 bill. Well that’s nice, he was a completely underrated president and he’s on a bill no one will ever use. He’s probably bitching about this with FDR in heaven right now, and cheers, gentlemen. Salmon Chase is on the $10,000, the 25th Secretary of the Treasury. Umm, that’s fishy (pun), I bet LBJ or Jimmy Carter did more to deserve the $10k bill than you. But who’s counting? (I’m counting puns, what am I up to?) So finally, Woodrow Wilson gets the $100,000 bill. I’m tired of this. He probably deserves it, let’s be honest.
“sup Lil, I think everyones gone to bed?
If any 20th century prezs have been overlooked, its Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman, not LBJ or Jimmy Carter. Eisenhower used to be on the dollar coin, and Franklin on the $.50 piece.. you arent a fellow numismatist, are you?
Crap, those ARE two really good ones. But I don’t regret going straight for sheer humanitarianism. For southerners, they’re okay.
Jimmy Carter was a shitty president. Salmon P. Chase was a champion against slavery. Andrew Jackson was an effective administrator.
If you think of the bills in terms of circulation instead of monetary value, the system makes more sense. For coins, nickels, quarters, dimes, and pennies are the widest circulating. For bills, it’s ones, fives, tens, and twenties. It makes more sense that the statesmen on these coins and bills are are some of the greatest in American history. Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln symbolize to a much greater extent the values and power of the American state. When someone from another country visits America and uses are money, we want them to see our heralded leaders on our currency, not Calvin Coolidge, James K. Polk, and countless of other mediocre-to-poor presidents that are all but forgotten. And yes, I have studied numismatics.
Jackson as effective administrator? He’s on the $20 cause he beat the British in the war of 1812 in New Orleans, and because he dissolved the Bank of the United States. Plus he was shot in a duel over a woman (and lived), which gives him major street cred. Monroe and Adams are overlooked as 19th century leaders as well.
Lil, read Robert Caro’s LBJ biography, three volumes so far, one or two more to come (it takes him 8 years per book, he’s that thorough). It’ll make you want to read his Robert Moses epic ‘the power broker’, if you havent already.
“Brother, Can You Spare a Dime” — hence FDR on the dime. Fixing the Great Depression was a kinda big thing. Course WWII coming along also helped the economy…
“for southerners, they’re okay.”
I get it
this is a yankee site
elitist
but before i get run off this site like Lee out of Gettysburg, I was kidding
HD- she’s not and don’t worry about it ’cause she won’t be posting anymore. too many people using their anonymity to say shitty things about her when they don’t even know her.
what is that somebody someone’s parental unit?
ANDREW Hamilton?? Tsk tsk, Lilith. You impugn the Federalists with your inadvertent use of President Jackson’s christian name, of all people. Jackson was certainly a “man of the people” but in more modern times I could see him as the mastermind of the Ruby Ridge showdown with the FBI, or creating his own fiefdom then insisting it is exempt from taxation and U.S. government regulations, like those kooks who created “Heaven” somewhere in the Texas boondocks. Does this mean you aren’t a believer in centralized government?
I quoteth Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell: “It’s all about the Hamilton’s, baby!”
This conversation has gone so far beyond my puny brain, I can’t even make a funny.
Hamilton rocks!!!
Of the thirteen different turns I would have predicted conversation this to go in, this was not one, you guys are a creative bunch.
’somebody’, I know who happyhooker is, and came pretty damn close to telling her to STFU or I might pass that info along. She went way past inappropriate. I’m guessing nay nay’s been muzzled by a higher-up? Shame. We’ll miss her around here.
Oh, and is that “starting……NOW”?
I hope she’s still the best bartender at my favorite place to not be allowed in?
If you’ve ever looked at an old $10 bill with a magnifying glass, (don’t know about the new ones) You’ll notice that the guy driving the car past the Treasury Building is Albert Einstein. True. Good trivia question.
Wow. I am never going to talk about currency ever again until I read a multi-volume biography, which is likely never. For the record, I thought FDR deserved better, but I guess I should have said “a bigger coin” because the other coin presidents are rockin.
Fdr only got on the dime, but he was on it within a year of his death (then a record I believe) Kennedy replaced Franklin on the half-dollar in 64, so apparently if you die in office you’ve got a better shot at getting on some currency (and faster) than if you don’t. I think US coins hit their high-water mark when designed or influenced by Augustus Saint Gaudens. (yes I am a dork)
you know, if you go back and read the posts from last week, the oh-so-evil posts that have the cvillian world in an uproar, you would realize that i made a point, a few times, to let it be known that my comments WERE NOT directed directly towards anyone, but, instead, the entire restaurant world of charlottesville. i think the only specific thing i said was that i thought sha nay nay had a poor attitude. cause she does.
i think everyone needs to chill out. i post at a few forums around the glorious interweb, and this place is a little sensitive. its time to move on, folks. the exchanges made in the “barmaid” thread were harmless and the closest thing to ‘real’ this site has seen. i took the warning to “behave appropriatley” and haven’t since posted anything close to a negative or (pseudo) personal attack. you guys have your forum back.
i woud ike to point out, however, that i was not the first in that heated thread to name call. a group of regulars ganged up on a new poster because they didnt like what he had to say. now the forum response is “change your name and try again”. what a crock. perhaps everyone should do the adult thing, and put whatever comments deemed inappropriate on a shelf and allow them to collect dust there as we move forward with bigger and better things, and use whatever contension was built as a stepping stone to learn more about someone you don’t understand.
so, i am sure this post will somehow be considered rude, or attacking or something of that nature, becuase it seems that (while i dont consider you elitist at all) you guys* have a hard time with opinions that differ even slightly from your own and take everything entirely too personally. my apologies for offending anyone, but, to be honest, i stand behind everything i have ever said on this forum. cause thats how i roll. i am not going to put out an opinion that i dont believe strongly in, online or in life.
and hipster doofus, you dont know who i am. you might think you do, but i guarantee you do not.
Calling 90% of the restaurant and bar staff in this town the C word is a sign of a good attitude?
You’ve already logged into myspace today. Ever hear anything from ‘Dickie’ and others?
want me to e-mail you your name, age, etc…?
I appreciate your honesty and sticking by what you believe in, just didn’t want to see things spiral any further out of control. Anonymity on the internet doesn’t excuse or allow behavior free from repercussions, your identity is safe only until someone with a little determination comes along.
Gobbler admitted a poor choice in username, has since changed his twice, and is still here posting, so I think the advice given was well received.
HH - I think you should feel free to speak your mind. A diversity of opinion is a good thing. Thanks for posting.
“while i dont consider you elitist at all” — I am sorry to hear you feel this way
“hipster doofus, you dont know who i am. you might think you do, but i guarantee you do not.” — Did we make out???
this site
HH. thanks for the support. I, too stand behind everything I’ve posted, except the stupid money comment…unecessary, and probably untrue. I hope you all can have a good holiday.
Oh, and hipster-doofus… even in code, I don’t think you should be offering people’s identities. That’s just not cool. I’m gonna go back to my new handle now.
i never said i had a good attitude. i am jaded and cynical. i admit it.
and most of the restaurant folk in this town are cunts. sorry, but thats my opinion.
(side note: why is that word so horrible? why does that one word offend so entirely? it is a word, you guys, and the only reason it has such negative stigma is because we have allowed it to. words have power, certainly, but only the power we attribute to them. i, personally, love my cunt, and think it is a great thing)
and yeah, doofus, i have no idea what you are talking about. i have logged into myspace, but i dont know who ‘dickie’ is, unless you are talking about an estranged uncle. if you are so certain you know who i am, please shoot me an email. hell, post my name right here. cause you are wrong. i am NOT who you think i am. guaranteed.
i dont expect a lack of reprecussions. i have apologized a couple times already for language and thoughts that somehow offended. what more can i do? i am not going to stop posting here becuase a few folks disagree with what i have to say, and i think its silly that anyone would stop posting because their feelings are hurt or they feel attacked. reprecussions go both ways– if you post something inflammatory people are going to react, and it is not all going to be agrreeable and plesant. if you have the balls to write the post, then have the balls to stand behind it, come what may.
damn gobbler, I was hoping you were gonna give me some of that money for christmas. sigh
Please review The Code: http://cvillain.com/?p=478
Rule #1.
My apologies.
Honestly, I was gonna share it with everyone, provided they worked behind a bar somewhere in Charlottesville. But it seems that my vehicle has decided it needs surgery in have the pink sticker in the window removed. Sorry, folks, the Gobbler will be spending his drinking money on canned BL this holiday. Oh the humanity!
magic rat - Yes the Fonz is the coolest
You’re implying that this site has jumped the shark are you?
b yo time to get the towels out
lillith - Can reveal our own identity or is that a Rule # 1 violation of too?
Why was The Code written by someone with a terminal lisp? Or should that be lithp?
Is Lilith actually Liliss?
Is Thor… Sore?
Silmo… you could reveal your own identity and then claim Multiple Personality Disorder and say that your alter ego Daphne did it. It’s a legal cop out and has been used many times by serial killers and people that double park at Starbucks. Just twitch a bit as you say it.
wow
Just don’t do it to other people. I’m strict on this. Public humiliation.
My real name is Floozy
Done
Silmo aka Floozy: So what are you doing to yourself…. right…. now……
Lucky I don’t work in a cube
imagining what I look like naked
HH, my e-mail to you came back ‘undeliverable’ so clearly I don’t know you. Which also means you’re probably not my first cousin like I thought… wanna kiss and make-up?
But what if she is your first cousin? Then what?
Hey Ethan… their kids will the heroes of the swim team on account of the webbed fingers.