Save the world, and your mail carrier

I’ve never seen a postal truck barrel down a street as fast as I did this week. What, do they want to be home and not working or something? That is SO selfish. Gahhh.

Some people become friends with their mail carriers, and I think that’s just peachy. They bake fruit cakes for them or leave them tips. You know what you could do that would be really helpful to the fine mail carriers of Charlottesville? Besides not making fruit cake ever again? Give them a bottle of wine, take your entire street’s mail, and deliver it for them.

And while you’re at it, saving the world and all, open that catalog from that place that sends you catalogs you’ve not opened for six years and call the unsubscribe number. It saves your mail carrier’s time AND trees. Whole trees.

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20 Responses to “Save the world, and your mail carrier”

  1. 27 Dec 2007 at 3:08 pmhipster-doofus said:

    I think if you take mail from your mail-carrier and deliver it yourself you go to federal prison. maybe the mail-carrier too?

  2. 27 Dec 2007 at 3:27 pmlilith said:

    Oh. Then go outside and CHEER HIM/HER ON!

    I should admit I’m really bad… a mail carrier actually has to walk up to the building I live in.

  3. 27 Dec 2007 at 3:28 pmSmiley said:

    Yeah, could be problematic, what with ID theft the new get rich quick scheme. Maybe two bottles of wine for the carrier? I’m kinda old school, so I “holiday tip” my mail carrier, newspaper delivery guy (yes, I’m a dinosaur . . . I still get the Progress), barber, and various work-related delivery folks. It’s a good feeling, they deserve it, and they DO remember when you need a favor.

  4. 27 Dec 2007 at 3:58 pmCojo said:

    I thought about tipping my mailman (yes, it’s sexist, but I’ve never had a mailwoman, so it’s appropriately gendered) yesterday, but then I realized that I have had about 5 different mailmen thus far this year, so I didn’t. Is that bad? Shouldn’t the guy who delivered for the most amount of time get the tip, not the guy I had never seen before who showed up yesterday?

  5. 27 Dec 2007 at 4:04 pmSmiley said:

    Good point . . . and yes, you should tip the primary carrier, if you have one. I’m not sure what is tipping protocol for multiple carriers. I hadn’t considered that, ’cause I’ve had the same guy deliver my mail for 4 years.

  6. 27 Dec 2007 at 4:48 pmlilith said:

    Most people don’t tip at all, so it’s REALLY nice to do! Smiley, I should have said that in the beginning.

  7. 27 Dec 2007 at 5:03 pmhipster-doofus said:

    3/4 of the mail I get is from the last four years worth of people who’ve lived at my house. I started out writing ‘please forward’ on it for a few months, now I just let it pile up (the mail-person actually took it out of the box, tied it up and left it on my front porch after a while, as if to say ‘here, you deal with it’) I shouldn’t still be getting mail for 6 different people [I use a p.o. box and have hardly any mail coming to my street address] so my letter-carrier can go screw themselves, but if you’ve got a good one, tip them, cause the alternative is everyone else’s mail in your box, and your mail? who knows where?

  8. 27 Dec 2007 at 5:09 pmSmiley said:

    Hip, that sucks, but if the previous residents did not enter a forwarding order at the post office, then the mail person is sorta stuck in “I don’t know where to send the mail” limbo . . . which may be why he/she keeps leaving it for you. On the other hand, maybe the mail person is a suck bag . . . NO TIP FOR YOU!

  9. 27 Dec 2007 at 5:54 pmpatience said:

    Actually, the post office classifies letters that are undeliverable as “nixies”. Incorrectly delivered mail should not be the customer’s problem.
    http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Post_office/id/1896683
    From the website linked above:
    “When a letter is to a vague, nonexistent or peculiar address, (such as the letters to Santa Claus by young children), the mail is routed to a very experienced clerk called a “nixie clerk.” The nixie clerk determines if the addressee can be located. If so, the nixie readdresses the letter and forwards it, or if it requests address correction, returns it. If the addressee cannot be located and the sender has paid for return service, the nixie clerk marks the letter “Return to Sender.” If there is no return address, the letter is returned to the last known origin, the “dead letter office.”

    My neighborhood doesn’t have a regular mailman, so I’m not giving out tips. I am not happy with the service we get–for example, it is now 5:53pm and my mail has not yet been delivered today. Sometimes we don’t see our mail until after 6:00pm.

  10. 27 Dec 2007 at 8:13 pmjosh said:

    Our mailman is good. I gave him fine beer.

  11. 27 Dec 2007 at 8:34 pmshenanigans said:

    My mailman is scared to death of my shaggy little SPCA mutt and cute-as-a-button golden retriever. He refuses to give us our mail if they are out in the yard.
    My friend’s mailman speeds up and down Monte Vista and plowed into her dog.
    The only cool mailman is that black-haired guy with the glasses that delivers to the Mall and hangs out at Gravity Lounge. Here’s to you dude!

  12. 27 Dec 2007 at 11:44 pmcaroline said:

    josh, i gotta come see your new place!

  13. 28 Dec 2007 at 9:05 amTheUpstart said:

    My mailman is scared to death of my shaggy little SPCA mutt and cute-as-a-button golden retriever. He refuses to give us our mail if they are out in the yard.
    My friend’s mailman speeds up and down Monte Vista and plowed into her dog.

    Damn…my mailman has a ton of dogs and carries dog treats with him to give to the pups he meets around his route. He and the UpPup are buddies.

    I had a friend who took a job delivering mail back in college so he could stay in town during summer break. In the course of that summer, he became a dog hater. I guess there are a lot of problem dogs out there!

  14. 28 Dec 2007 at 9:33 amSmiley said:

    Will you hate me if I cross post? Going back to patience, you are correct about the treatment of “undeliverable mail.” However, the mail that HD is receiving is not undeliverable, because, ipso facto, his address is one to which mail is being delivered. (I’ve always wanted to use Latin in a post!) HD’s address is neither “vague, nonexistent or peculiar.” Sooooo, the post office/postal carrier looks at the address, regardless of the name accompanying the address (HD, Smiley, or Santa Clause, it doesn’t matter), and delivers the mail piece . . . UNLESS there is a forwarding order/change of address order on record that says something like “Art Vandelay is no longer at this address, please deliver to Monk’s diner.” Otherwise, the post office must assume that the addressee is still located at the deliverable address on the envelope . . . UNLESS HD puts “Refused” on the envelope, not “Please Forward,” which is meaningless to the post office without a forwarding order on record. From usps.com, “Without a specific reason to the contrary, mail sent to an address will be delivered.”
    Whew . . . please don’t hate me . . . and can I have the last 10 minutes of my life back?

  15. 28 Dec 2007 at 9:40 amhipster-doofus said:

    Thanks Smiley, REFUSED it is!

  16. 28 Dec 2007 at 9:46 amSmiley said:

    Better yet, “REFUSED. NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS.” That way, they get the message that the person(s) no longer lives there.

  17. 28 Dec 2007 at 11:23 amcolfer said:

    The Cville post office has gone back and forth on this IIRC and am not confusing it with another town I lived in. Once they told people to put the names of all the valid recipients on the mailbox and said they would trash any other mail.

    So try putting the names on the mailbox along with “ONLY, PLEASE.” And: “We luv the mail carrier not just the cool one downtown who goes to Gravity. xoxox.”

  18. 28 Dec 2007 at 11:50 amdf said:

    I think you can give a gift to your mail carrier valued under $20.00, but its against the law to tip them with cash………..I have two regulars so they each got a six pack of good beer.

  19. 28 Dec 2007 at 11:51 amThor said:

    df, that’s mean.. you make them carry around beer all day?

  20. 28 Dec 2007 at 8:44 pmdf said:

    Actually they each swung back by and picked up their loot……..

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