Ok, so I figured that this would be a good time to bring up something that really pissed me off because I just had a cup of coffee and you will feel the least of my anger.
I come back from charioting around Charlottesville and I see a comment sitting in my approval box that reads something along the lines of:
NAME is an asshole for cheating on your significant other, you stupid @*&(@(^*@#. You used this site to sleep around, you loose mofo. Hope you learned your lesson.
Since that person had never made a comment before, I emailed them to let them know that their comment was “not nice.” I got back three responses within 30 minutes. One of them was:
It’s completely true, there was no name calling, and what he’s been doing to her is more than “a little not nice”. I’m definitely sensing a double-standard - the old, “men should stick together” song. Please post it. Thank you.
How in creation am I supposed to verify the truth of this potentially slanderous statement? Well after a few more quick email exchanges, a fellow cVillain forwarded me a message that this woman had forwarded on to our community members. She emailed (personally identifiable information removed):
…They’ve been together for 9 years, she’s deeply in love with him - totally devastated - and he’s been playing her for a fool…Why am I telling you? Because Thor won’t post my entry and his refusal pissed me off. Typical men-sticking-together bs.
I don’t know any of these people and my site is not the place to have personal relationship issues. I responded quickly, banned her IP from the site and closed off the site to newly registered users.
You know why I’m pissed? Because some out of town *@(#^& totally invaded everyone’s privacy, spread personal attacks with the intent to harm the person in question and I couldn’t stop her in time. You know for an open community we’ve done pretty well over the last 8 months with people being respectful. In fact, this is the first time that I’ve actually had to delete someone’s comment because it was a personal attack.
I’m currently debating what to do. I’ve already got an apology from the sender of that email, but who knows how many emails she sent out or what she is doing. I’ve got server logs for her presence on the site, I know her IP, and I think I have her real name. While I wouldn’t go as low as publish who this person is, I am considering contacting her ISP for internet abuse as well as sending the potentially libelous emails to the accused person.
I don’t know if I need to do something this drastic, but when people think they can use our site as a means to harm people’s personal reputations, it really pisses me off.
Any thoughts?
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Tagged as: Charlottesville, cVillain, Infidelity, Privacy, Questions, Yuck
anyone have a ten foot pole I can not touch this with?
I don’t have any particularly useful insight into how to handle her per se, but I did want to thank you for looking out for the rest of us who may or may not always bring our A game where the old reputation is concerned and it’s a relief to know that you guys are on the proverbial ball. Thanks buddy!
this is the kind of thing that makes me wish i could burn the internet to the ground.
I’m surprised this didn’t happen earlier, and as the site grows, it’s going to occur more and more. That’s the drawback of allowing entries to be published by anyone and anonymous posting.
Chad, how do you mean? In what form/context do comments like this typically occur? In your mind, are these legitimate or fabricated?
In short, when you give people anonymity, you’re going to get some pretty nasty stuff.
Penny Arcade summed it up nicely here in a comic:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
Whether it’s legitimate or not, I’m not really sure that matters. Guess it depends on how much you want this to be a gossip site .. if ‘real gossip’ like relationships and the sordid details of them start getting published, you’re obviously going to have some issues.
I’m a (relatively) newly registered user. Do I still exist?
Fantastic cartoon example. Thanks!
I’d be very tempted to let the slandered party see the attempted posts. The senders obviously meant for them to be public, which would have included access by that person. In other words, that person is within the pool of intended readers, so you aren’t revealing anything to anyone the sender didn’t presume would see them anyway. At that point, it becomes a private matter among the parties involved. You’re out of it.
But big thanks for not allowing this board to devolve into some sort of local muckracking site for people wishing to wage personal attacks. It certainlyy isn’t why I come here.
All: do NOT speculate about what happened or name names in print on the site. It adds to the problem.
emails like that are what craigslist r&r is for.
Thor, you’re just pissed ’cause Fergie got engaged
I second Thatgrrls assertion. Well put.
I just want to thank Thor and lilith for not allowing these types of posts. I lurk in here all the time and will try to step up and post more. I don’t care about these outside actions be they real or fabricated. I find almost everyone who posts here to have an incredible sense of humor, to be extremely bright, to respect one another to the proper level, and to have great feelings for the absurd and ironic. I enjoy coming in here and confirming my own observations with fellow travelers through this incredible little town.
So, lets keep it light and keep out the ugliness those types of posts can breed.
Thanks again.
Just to let everyone know, we’ve removed your ability to see people’s email addresses and IP addresses. Because of the way wordpress works, you will have to email us what you want to post under your name. Give us a few weeks to fix the back end so you don’t have to go through that process.
Sorry, but we’re kinda tired of people stalking each other and this is the only way to solve that problem for the time being.
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WELCOME EVERYBODY TO THE INTERNET.
I still love the site. I enjoy my C’ville news and Gossip, but the Gossip part should have some checks and balances. I agree with most here. This site doesn’t need to become a haven for slander. Keep on keepin on.
Oh and apparently, they didn’t farm emails, rather it was from a personal email box.
Very cute, parlie.
people are sleeping around?
no way
chad - i knew what that comic was before i even clicked on the link! it’s one of my LJ icons, and i do indeed use it with great frequency. one of my favorite PAs, that one.
i agree that this is not the type of gossip we come here for. leave it to craigslist. or LJ! (ha ha!) we don’t need no stinkin’ slander in these parts.
I think there have always been personal attacks but the poster is usually more indirect and uses bigger words is all.
You are right though in that this person was posting about people’s personal business and much like pointing out people’s real identities that’s simply not acceptable.
Buster: Yep .. pretty much sums up the internet in 3 panels. Classic.
I’m engaged to fergie!! yay!