If you still care. I chose not to read Thor’s so my answers could be completely original. Wish me luck.
What is your criteria for purchasing hand soap, and why?
Will it kill most cooties? Will I be stuck with hands that smell like Bubble Yum all day? Will it be able to get off the 216 black light stamp?
Do you have any issues from your childhood you haven’t worked out yet?
My best friend moved to Michigan when I was 8 and left her two goldfish with me, and they died about three days after I took them. I point to it as the defining moment my life when I learned what “Too Much Information” is and realized I would suffer my entire life from it.
And guys, I want you to know that it also taught me that it’s scary when girls cry.
âDog food, cat food, or fish food?
Cat. Definitely cat. Fancy Feast salmon, preferably.
I noticed on your Facebook profile that you have bad taste in literature. Do you think you can improve that?
I read?
Do you sweat less than, as much as, or more than most people at the gym?
I sweat?
Is your mom hot?
Smoking hot. Like, MILF hot.
Hi mom. I love you.
Which member of the cast of Baywatch do you most relate to, and why?
C.J. Parker, absolutely I do. It’s our bubbly personalities.
You know what they say about hand size and foot size; is that true for you?
No, what do they say? But seriously, I don’t think women should talk about that EVER. And by that I mean I don’t think women should admit that they talk about that EVER. Men and boobs, same deal.
Would it bother you if I corrected your grammar?
I’ve had people tell me I’m pronouncing a word wrong, or using a word incorrectly, and I’m appreciative that someone’s helping me not to sound like a dumbass, so no, it wouldn’t bother me. If I spell they’re/their/there wrong or it’s/its wrong, I would expect you to correct me, then frame it. Do I correct people? Not unless I’m asked to edit a document. I do edit posts.
For the record, it’s, “Johnny took a picture of Sally and me,” not “Sally and I.” The way to know is to take Sally out: Johnny took a picture of me. That felt good. 
Go ahead and cross me off your list of fun people now.
If I asked you to steal our napkin rings, would you do it? For me?
For you, I would, but ask for anything but napkin rings. They’re actually stolen pretty often, and they’re kind of expensive. Do you want a pint glass instead?
Speaking of people who do things to impress people, who else thought it was hilarious when Bret Michaels sent home the stripper who got his name tattooed on her neck in “Rock of Love”?
If a genie appeared and gave you three wishes but told you they had to be wishes for things you would change about my personality, what would they be?
I bet Thor actually answered this.
Which of your friends do you think is the most shallow? Coworkers?
Hipster-Doofus gave me the easy out. Word. I will say that a little shallow-ness isn’t so bad. It’s not fun to be all serious all the time, and kidding yourself into thinking you’re not a little shallow is a little prideful!
What is your least favorite quality about yourself? Can you give an example?
It’s not that I think my life is the most exciting thing ever. It’s just that conversations are so fun when it’s my turn! JOKE. I get on tangents. Long ones.
On a scale of one to ten, how porny do you think you are in bed?
Anyone have a camera?
(Who picks Kayla Kleevage as a porn name?)
Popularity: 4% [?]
Tagged as: Blogs, Humor
kleevage reminds me of kleenex. which, i… given the context, it seems…
i don’t want to finish this. floozy, you do it.
Wait, thats a little ambiguous… am I the easy out? Or is Thor the shallow one? Since this is a matter of the greatest importance to me, maybe it’s a tie?
Oh, you answered it and said it was Thor for me. I was just “joshing.” (Do people still say that?)
Thor, I’m impressed, you didn’t answer the genie question! I’m sorry I doubted you.
hip,
check your email….
I know you were kidding, really I do…, I forgot to add a smiley face
Anyone who wants to copy these over and fill it out yourself, go for it.
“What is your criteria for purchasing hand soap, and why?â€
What is this “soap” you speak of?
“Do you have any issues from your childhood you haven’t worked out yet?â€
All of my parents friends wore mini-skirts when I was very short. The issues I have to work out from that usually involve community service
“Dog food, cat food, or fish food?â€
All of the above, tartar, in a nice bechamel, with a peppery Cab or Shiraz
“Do you sweat less than, as much as, or more than most people at the gym?â€
More. Much more. And usually before I even get out of bed in the morning.
“Is your mom ‘hot’?â€
You’ll have to ask her brothers (she’s from West Virginia)
“Which member of the cast of Baywatch do you most relate to, and why?â€
Pam Anderson - we had our breasts enlarged by the same surgeon
“You know what they say about hand size and foot size… is that true for you?â€
No. I have small hands (wink wink, nudge nudge)
“Would it bother you if I corrected your grammar?â€
Would it bother you if I tapped on your skull with a ball peen hammer?
“If I asked you to steal our napkin rings, would you do it? For me?â€
The napkin rings are mine, bitch. Steal your own.
“If a genie appeared and gave you three wishes but told you they had to be wishes for things you would change about my personality, what would they be?â€
I’d with that you were twice as horny, half as prudish, and ten times as attracted to me. And I want a pony.
“Which of your friends do you think is the most shallow? Coworkers?â€
All I do know is that ALL of my friends and coworkers would pick me
“What is your least favorite quality about yourself? Can you give an example?â€
My incessant perfection makes me terribly difficult to put up with, but that’s really your problem.
“On a scale of one to ten, how porny do you think you are in bed?â€
In bed? A two. On the hood of my car? A ten.
“Would it bother you if I corrected your grammar?â€
Would it bother you if I tapped on your skull with a ball peen hammer?
Ah ha! So THAT’S how Oy got his head injury! In fairness, a motorocycle accident really does sound more cool.
“What is your criteria for purchasing hand soap, and why?â€
I don’t buy hand soap, I simply run my hands through my hair to clean them, then i wash my hair. It’s that simple.
“Do you have any issues from your childhood you haven’t worked out yet?â€
Yeah, I never met my father, but I’ve always wanted to find him and punch him in his face. I clenched my fist when i was five, and the prophecy says it won’t open until I’ve completed my mission.
“Dog food, cat food, or fish food?â€
Chinese food
“Do you sweat less than, as much as, or more than most people at the gym?â€
I usually put a bucket under my bike in cycle class, but not two buckets…so less than?
“Is your mom ‘hot’?â€
I get it from my momma…and i’m ridiculously good looking
“Which member of the cast of Baywatch do you most relate to, and why?â€
Umm, hasslehoffs kid, because i was too young to hook up with any of the lifeguards when the show originally aired.
“You know what they say about hand size and foot size… is that true for you?â€
“Damn! those some big feet!” - Will Smith
“Would it bother you if I corrected your grammar?â€
Only if i was trying to make a point in a chat and you used it as a reason to attack my intelligence. I know grammar, I just choose not to obey it.
“If I asked you to steal our napkin rings, would you do it? For me?â€
What’s a napkin ring?
“If a genie appeared and gave you three wishes but told you they had to be wishes for things you would change about my personality, what would they be?â€
I’d wish for supermans powers, and then when he told me that it wasn’t an eligible wish, i’d wish for you personality to change in such a way to make that wish possible.
“Which of your friends do you think is the most shallow? Coworkers?â€
I think I’m the most shallow, and I mean that in the best way possible.
“What is your least favorite quality about yourself? Can you give an example?â€
I don’t like how my boyish good looks make other people doubt they too can be considered good looking.
“On a scale of one to ten, how porny do you think you are in bed?â€
As porny as you’ll let me be baby.
How about this porny….
Bloody link didn’t work.. I’ll be back….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRbSs20Bhhg
Very Spicy…
that’s hot.
spicy bears..hmmmmmmmmmmmm
“don’t be messing with the 8-track!”
(non-sequiter link of the day)
wow.
Hey, oy! Ever heard of these guys?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mU2lJKkQ04
never had heard of them, thanks - enjoyed their cover of You Shook Me All Night Long.
Is there a word for those kind of covers? Heavy Grass? Blue Metal?
Though I’m loathe to resort to it, Wikipedia references “rockgrass,” oy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayseed_Dixie However, I like the classification “Blue Metal” a lot more!
I’ve never heard of them, but I’ll bet Verbal Sniper has, and will be able to tell us about the 16 band members that died agonising deaths while filming the first 3 frames of the video.
Verbal…over to you….
meeeeeeoooowwwww hissssssss…
Holy Crap Caroline…. give all those letters back to Silmo and TwoOFour RIGHT NOW otherwise we stand no chance of understanding their next posts.
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Fl z ,
I didn’t und rstand hat y u ar saying about my post . Pl a xplain hy you aid hat you aid.
Thank ,
ilm yrup
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH xx
hlp m
TwoOFour… you brought it on yourself. You would never make a good mystery shopper .. scribbling notes on a piece of paper outed you girl. What you needed to blend in was a 2 year old with a snot encrusted nose and a stinking ass. No one would have noticed you. Now you are gone and we will miss you dreadfully
my evil plan is working ahhahahahahahahaaaa!! *rubbing hands together*