Oy’s question of the week

So, this week, Tuesday specifically, at South Street, I posed a question to the crowd at large:

Q:If you were cloned, and you had sex with your clone, would it be incest or masturbation?


This question was passed around South Street, with many varied (and by varied, I mean many variations on “What sort of sick fuck would ask this question”) answers.

We left South Street, for a quick sojourn at X Lounge, and when we subsequently returned to South Street, the first thing the doorman/bouncer said to me upon returning was “You were the guy that asked about the cloning-thing, right? Whatever, it’s definitely ‘gay’”.

Discuss.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

53 Responses to “Oy’s question of the week”

  1. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:28 pmLys said:

    There’s a chapter indirectly about that in The Time Traveler’s Wife which I must admit made me totally uncomfortable. My vote is for incest, as it’s closer to getting it on with your twin than your hand.

  2. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:30 pmcaroline said:

    incest.

  3. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pmcaroline said:

    unless it’s a robot.

  4. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pmThor said:

    incest

  5. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pmTwoOFour said:

    hmm, I’d like to know what spared this question in the first place you freak

  6. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:31 pmTwoOFour said:

    that would be Sparked

  7. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:32 pmThatGrrl said:

    Totally incest. Really creepy incest.

  8. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:32 pmTwoOFour said:

    I don’t think I’d be interested in me anyway, so it is a moot point.

  9. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:38 pmThor said:

    now that i think about it, the bouncer is right.. it would be gay

  10. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:39 pmLys said:

    Here’s the aforementioned book’s version: if you could time travel and meet up with your past or future self, and you did you, would that be incest or masterbation?

    See what we could be talking about in the book club?

  11. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:40 pmcaroline said:

    i love gay.

  12. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:41 pmFloozy said:

    Kind of like the famous one “If you have Multiple Personality Disorder and you commit suicide, is it murder?
    I would not have sex with me. I know too much.

  13. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:42 pmoy said:

    but, it’s *you*. Having sex with yourself is incest? Does that mean it’s incest when you masturbate (all by your lonesome).

  14. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:45 pmLys said:

    I think in the case of time travel, it is you, so it’s just like a time delayed masterbation (because at some point in time you are the one experiencing the pleasure and you are the one performing for the exact same act). In the case of a clone, assuming only one incident, the giver is never the receiver and vice versa, so while you are genertically the same, you are two seprate entities.

    (Can you tell it’s been a slow day at the office today? Fun question, oy!)

  15. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:46 pmcaroline said:

    yeah, what lys said.

  16. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:49 pmbelmont yo said:

    Incest on steroids.

  17. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:52 pmhips said:

    A clone of you isn’t *you*. Genetic equivalent, biological carbon-copy, whatever, its not *you* at best its *another you*, and when you have sex with another its not masturbation. Gay? YES. Creepy? Of course. Do we need to find Oy a hobby? I’m beginning to think so.

  18. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:55 pmTwoOFour said:

    I guess you at least don’t have to worry about having safe sex…

  19. 11 Jan 2008 at 12:55 pmTwoOFour said:

    Oy, you need some Therapy sweetie.

  20. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:05 pmbuster said:

    my question is, if you’re submissive, is your clone also submissive? (likewise for doms) if so, how is anything even going to get done in the first place?

  21. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:16 pmhips said:

    How ’bout if you’re trans-gender/trans-sexual? Your clone would be the biological equivalent of the ‘birth you’. If you hooked up under that scenario, would it still be gay? I think maybe not?

  22. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:19 pmLys said:

    hips - now you’re hitting the nature vs. nurture thing, as your clone may have made the same life choices as you (nature) or may still be your birth gender (nuture). That being said, if the hardware is different, I don’t think it’s gay.

  23. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:20 pmThatGrrl said:

    OMG, hips! That is some d-e-e-p thought there. I think I just blew something in my brain, trying to process that.

  24. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:22 pmpatience said:

    A perfect awkward sex conversation for your hot date topic.

  25. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:22 pmGobbler said:

    It be the best sex either one of us ever had. That’s for sure.

  26. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:24 pmGobbler said:

    my clone would be approximately 30 years younger than me. that’s hot.

  27. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:27 pmsparky said:

    if you sleep with your spouse/partner’s clone, is that cheating?

  28. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:28 pmsparky said:

    I read a cheeseball sci-fi book once where the dude went back in time and screwed his mom. eeewwwwww!

  29. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:31 pmSmiley said:

    Was Sigmund Freud the author, by chance?

  30. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:38 pmhips said:

    It be the best sex either one of us ever had. That’s for sure.

    Gobbler, your wife must be so proud :)

  31. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:50 pmoy said:

    I read a cheeseball sci-fi book once where the dude went back in time and screwed his mom. eeewwwwww!

    Heinlein. Always thought he was overrated.

    Nonono, Hips, you’re being to scientific. Not a “Dolly” type clone, but a presto-chango sci-fi insta-copy.

    Sparky - good variant - is that cheating?

  32. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:50 pmoy said:

    Yes, I need therapy. Surely you’re not just figuring that out…

  33. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:53 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    If by clone you mean someone I have to raise from a baby: then it’s insest

    If by clone you mean an instant photo copy (same age same clothes) then it’s masturbation.

  34. 11 Jan 2008 at 1:54 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    Let me ask you a question, Oy. Did this line work? I mean did it get you some booty? Or just the boot?

  35. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:00 pmlilith said:

    Gobbler, that was fantastic. (Incest.) (Masturbation if you’re sharing the same brain/penis brain.)

  36. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:07 pmTrashworth said:

    My vote’s for gay incest. Nothing to do with this convo - just in general I favor gay incest.

  37. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:13 pmoy said:

    This line had women, and a few men, backing slowly away from me until they felt there was enough safe distance to turn and run

    (oddly enough, though, it seems like the bartenders always had the best response to the question (especially Dan at SS and Calvin at X))

  38. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:16 pmGobbler said:

    What was the name of the Micheal Keaton movie where he had all his clones doing stuff for him?

  39. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:18 pmGobbler said:

    without looking it up, does anyone know?

  40. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:19 pmDonk said:

    Multiplicity.

  41. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:25 pmGobbler said:

    ding, ding, ding, ding, ding….donk! You won an invitation to a wine party at Crush!

  42. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:28 pmcbob said:

    OK this took some serious digging to find, but I found the Space Moose time travel comic:

    http://web.archive.org/web/20041021170227/subvulture.com/spacemoose/time_machine.html

  43. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:30 pmThatGrrl said:

    ding, ding, ding, ding, ding….donk!

    Sounds like you just killed a bell.

  44. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:31 pmDonk said:

    Yeah. Somewhere in my youth, I decided to save all of that ‘book-learnin’ space in my brain for useless trivia. I think it’s panned out pretty well so far. If all else fails, I’m going to whore myself out on the gameshow circuit until I’m offered a cast position on The Surreal Life or some other B-List (C-List?) reality television show.

    Oh… and I am hoping to make it to Crush, but it’s starting to look like I’ll be on-call that week.

  45. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:41 pmGobbler said:

    If you had a clone, you could do both…..and the clone. Back to topic.

  46. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:41 pmHoratio said:

    In today’s news…
    Separated at birth twins get married
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080111/wl_uk_afp/britainchildrenadoptionmarriage

  47. 11 Jan 2008 at 2:56 pmbelmont yo said:

    I prefer my masturbation wholistically obtained.

  48. 11 Jan 2008 at 3:12 pmsparky said:

    I’ve gotten some really fascinating/disturbing news from this site today, between the married twins and the Creation Museum… thanks?

  49. 11 Jan 2008 at 3:13 pmBukbukbegak said:

    It’s definitely incest. Having sex with anyone who shares the same DNA or is related to you is always incest. If it was an opposite sex clone and she was as ridiculously good looking as me, i’d hit it.

  50. 11 Jan 2008 at 3:17 pmhips said:

    If she was as discriminating, you’d have to wait in line.

  51. 12 Jan 2008 at 12:29 amLawny said:

    Incest. Although I’m circumcised, I advised my clone against it. Sex just isn’t the same for my clone, who I’m sure has more fun that I do.

  52. 13 Jan 2008 at 10:19 amoy said:

    there was some more discussion of this topic at C&O last night, and it got me to thinking. Some serious, deep pondering, and I had an epiphany about myself.

    I’m going to need to learn to suppress my gag reflex before I’m cloned. Maybe take some sword-swallowing lessons as well. I might be more man than I can handle!

  53. 13 Jan 2008 at 10:23 amTwoOFour said:

    Now thats the way to take a totally sick and perverted conversation to another level darling. Bravo ;)

Leave a Reply