Awkward conversation topics for your hot HUMP DAY date tonight

Posted by lilith on January 16th, 2008 111 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I’m taking my hot ass out on a date tonight, and it’s going to be real awkward. See you out.

“I’ve always wondered if I could cash my roommate’s paycheck, if he died of natural causes in our apartment. Apparently, no!”

NYTimes.com: Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests

“Which has more f-bombs: Big Lebowski or Pulp Fiction? Seriously, that’s your answer? Obviously you’re not a golfer… Okay, now guess which has more: Menace II Society or Goodfellas? Trick question!”

Slashfilm.com: Movies with the most instances of the f-word

“Don’t you think it’s a little misleading for Apple to call its new notebook the MacBook Air? I mean, hello, I can see it.”

Wired.com: Jobs Unveils “World’s Thinnest Notebook”

“What’s better: old Gladiators or new Gladiators? Excuse me, you were born in WHAT year?”

Slate.com: The triumphant return of American Gladiators

Did you hear? I made out with Nitro.
Details here.

Oh, and if you really are going on a date today, first of all, good for you, you tiger, you! But seriously. Beer Run is doing a Belgian beer tasting for FREE from 5 to 8. This would be an awesome date move, if you were dating me. Or TwoOFour, Stanley, oy, TheUpstart, Horatio, dijonbray, icenine, Ethan, Donk, brutus, dave, Dan from Eppie’s… umm, everyone. So yeah. Take your date.

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111 Responses to “Awkward conversation topics for your hot HUMP DAY date tonight”

  1. 16 Jan 2008 at 9:35 am1Donk said:

    What’s that? Free beer?
    So, I guess I’ll be seeing ya’ll at Beer Run tonight.

  2. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:00 am2lilith said:

    I just had the most profound idea ever. What if Beer Run set up tournament beer pong? I call first game. Caroline’s my partner.

  3. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:06 am3ThatGrrl said:

    Lilith and Caroline are finally coming out! Oh. You meant beer pong partner, didn’t you? ;-)

  4. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:10 am4belmont yo said:

    Damn. Left off the date list.

    Just as well, those questions don’t seem to awkward anyway.

  5. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:11 am5mc said:

    am I the only person that hates beer pong? I was so with you with the Lebowski and the mac conference and the beer run… But I find beer pong to be completely annoying. And I’m not just saying that because all the kids are back in town and my grumpy old lady tendencies are surfacing.

  6. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:11 am6lilith said:

    Oh ThatGrrl, you know I don’t limit my options…

    That was presumptuous of me. I will happily wait my turn to play beer pong and ask Caroline nicely to be my partner, then slut myself out to whoever wants me to be their beer pong partner as well.

  7. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:13 am7lilith said:

    b yo, these were the stand-out “I love talking about beer, and by that I mean judging your taste in beer!” commenters. We have more than 70 regular commenters! But dammit people, yo is so date-able.

  8. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:14 am8cbob said:

    Did you know you can buy beer pong KITS at the Sheetz in Ruckersville? For those nights when dammit forgot to stop at the grocery store and Dick’s Sporting Goods - and now it’s 11:05 and Dick’s is closed and you have those hot girls coming over for beer pong at 11:30. It’s ~40cups and 4 fluorescent pingpong balls in one convenient package. You’re saved.

  9. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:38 am9Esteban said:

    And while in line, you can order a delicious Sheetz sandwich!

  10. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:44 am10Gobbler said:

    This seems strange to me… what beer do you prefer in your beer pong cups?

  11. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:45 am11ThatGrrl said:

    Oh, now I just have to stop at that Sheetz to check out the beer pong sets. Nice touch, having flourescent ping pong balls, for the beer-impaired.

  12. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:55 am12Bukbukbegak said:

    Natty Ice or Beast Light are the two prefered choices for most beer pong players. Natty Ice being prefered by the heavy weights who want to get in the zone faster. No faster way into the beer pong zone than a couple cans of liquid crack. One will get you drunk, but two will kill you.

  13. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:56 am13Lys said:

    I was always a flip cup girl, but yeah, that would be pretty much hillarious to play beer pong with Bell’s.

  14. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:56 am14belmont yo said:

    So thats the problem. I have to be a beer snob!

    Did I mention my love beer…? Ladies?

  15. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:01 am15KCB said:

    Sounding like the cranky old geezer I am, when did beer pong, become generally popular? Party aids for recreational drinking back in my day were the old standbys quarters, whales tales and thumper … Damn kids, grumble, grumble.

    As usual , wikipedia has a wealth of detail but no dates in this case:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_pong

  16. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:02 am16caroline said:

    Oh lilith darling of course I’m your partner silly. In life and in beer pong. I will share.

  17. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:03 am17Bukbukbegak said:

    what the hell is whales tails and thumper?

  18. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:11 am18KCB said:

    See the movie Beerfest for thumper in action. Whales Tales, hmm, maybe that was just an upstate NY thing. The rules escape me but there are archival photos that unfortunately show I played it, albeit not very well. Thousands of brain cells died in the carnage.

  19. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:13 am19Donk said:

    I wonder if Beer Run will get upset if we try to play Anchorman? Are there quarter-friendly tables there?

  20. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:14 am20ThatGrrl said:

    Oh, lawdy. I’m old enough to know what whales tales and thumper are! Word of warning: never play whales tales with Ouzo. In Greece. When you can’t remember where your hotel is.

    Game info for those and others: http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/5014/lostgames.html

  21. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:29 am21buster said:

    because i’m awesome, i spent most of last night catching up on episodes of the new american gladiators. my verdict is this: it’s completely overdone, but i’m not going to stop watching. the nostalgia factor is much too high. also, crush is kinda hot, at least hot enough to mitigate the terror that is wolf. eeesh.

    we should up the ante and play mystery pong instead!

  22. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:31 am22belmont yo said:

    I saw a couple playing jeenga in there the other evening. Not a drinking game, I know, but can be as equallly disruptive at times.

    No one seemed mad.

  23. 16 Jan 2008 at 11:54 am23lilith said:

    Jenga certainly can be a drinking game. I bet it wasn’t Dirty Jenga. I have a blank set that’s just screaming to get some nasty truth-or-dares and chugging commands written on them. Adults have so much more fun, I swear…

  24. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:13 pm24Lys said:

    I love dirty jenga! We always played in college and dreaded the “switch underwear with the person to your left” block. I quickly learned which of my friends went comando that year…

  25. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:28 pm25icenine said:

    D’Oh!

    I hung out at Beer Run on Monday night and had a great time…great food and excellent draft beer selection. Would love to go and get in on the Belgian tasting action (even though I’m a cVillain n00b), but I have to go to Wintergreen and run ski club tonight…duty calls, I guess…have fun at The Run!

  26. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:37 pm26belmont yo said:

    I was there Monday, icenine. But remember, the first rule of ski club, is you do not post about ski club.

    I will be there for the early part of the tasting as a new part of my pre-disco ritual. *That* should help me organize my cd’s.

  27. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:41 pm27caroline said:

    B’yo where are my CD’s? Please mail to Starlight

  28. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:48 pm28icenine said:

    Gotcha b yo.

  29. 16 Jan 2008 at 12:53 pm29belmont yo said:

    “Starlight”? Boy, they got some really simplistic postal addresses down your way.

    e me the digits escisme(at)gmail, and I’ll hook you up as fast as I can.

  30. 16 Jan 2008 at 1:15 pm30Floozy said:

    Jenga… in the City? OH BETTER GET THE RIGHT FUCKING PERMITS OR THE BUILDING INSPECTORS WILL GET YOU FOR NON-PERMITTED BUILDING AND DEMOLITION.
    Bastards. Utter bastards the lot of them.

  31. 16 Jan 2008 at 1:15 pm31Floozy said:

    sorry

  32. 16 Jan 2008 at 1:22 pm32sian said:

    Hello All,
    After you have enjoyed getting your “beer on” over at Beer Run, you should come see us at Market Street Downtown. We are having a (always free) Trappist Ale Tasting. This Saturday the 19th from 1pm to 3pm. I know our beer buyer likes it when he can get all beer snob up in here! Just thought I would let you all know since many of you may not be signed up for our e-mails.

  33. 16 Jan 2008 at 1:28 pm33Silmo Syrup said:

    I love your handle by the way

  34. 16 Jan 2008 at 1:46 pm34sian said:

    Thanks Silmo. I am a genius.

  35. 16 Jan 2008 at 7:14 pm35caroline said:

    i like you too, siany.

  36. 16 Jan 2008 at 7:17 pm36Silmo Syrup said:

    I like you Caroline

  37. 16 Jan 2008 at 7:24 pm37caroline said:

    i love you silmo.

  38. 16 Jan 2008 at 8:48 pm38Silmo Syrup said:

    I love you too!!!

  39. 16 Jan 2008 at 8:59 pm39caroline said:

    silm, do you remember Guy Archer? I just saw him hosting a show on the History Channel, a show about Moscow….

  40. 16 Jan 2008 at 10:12 pm40Silmo Syrup said:

    I dunno. What’d he look like?

  41. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:54 am41lilith said:

    sian, I’m interested in the tasting, but I expect you to prove that in spite of the one to three hour, it is, in fact, five o’clock somewhere. In the middle of the Atlantic.

  42. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:21 am42belmont yo said:

    so much love…. headed… well… elsewhere.

    sorry, drinky.

  43. 17 Jan 2008 at 7:54 am43Thor said:

    How was the beer run tasting (or was I there)?

  44. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:18 am44caroline said:

    lil, it’s saturday, it doesn’t have to be 5 somewhere, you can drink anytime on Saturdays!

  45. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:21 am45Floozy said:

    And it has no calories either.

  46. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:36 am46caroline said:

    Flooze, kids home this snowy day?

  47. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:42 am47Floozy said:

    Oh yeah… I ‘ll be drinking by noon so I don’t strangle the little bastards. Did you know weekend drinking rules apply on snowdays.

  48. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:56 am48caroline said:

    oh yes, hot toddy indeed.

  49. 17 Jan 2008 at 8:57 am49Floozy said:

    Don’t you just love reading BYo’s Thursday morning trashed posts.
    ‘Hell-oooooooooooooooooooo. Is anybody theeeeeeeeeeere? Come plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay with me pleeeeeeeeeease”. Makes me want to set my alarm for 2am just to keep him company. Our little narcoleptic insomniac.

  50. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:05 am50lilith said:

    Did I sound like that? I kind of knew I was trashed at 2am, but it really sunk in when I saw the Dorito’s bag.

    In the trash can.

  51. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:08 am51Floozy said:

    Lilith… it’s like running from room to room in a huge empty house looking for someone. I love drunkywunky posts and think they should be enforced by legislation. I’m calling Lionell right now, so when he gets this swinging scrotum palaver sorted, drunk posts will be next on the agenda.

  52. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:08 am52Floozy said:

    We need a live chat room

  53. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:14 am53caroline said:

    I never thought I would say this, but yes, live chat.

  54. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:35 am54Floozy said:

    One that can’t be archived

  55. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:37 am55Silmo Syrup said:

    I though this was live chat? Good morning sunsshines. I’m at work but no one else is.

  56. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:39 am56belmont yo said:

    Really. The night is wierd.

    I was just trying to keep so Lil didn’t have the last post on every topic (which she did when I got home) in case anyone popped in at 3 or 4.

  57. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:41 am57caroline said:

    b’yo always the gentleman….;)

  58. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:42 am58Silmo Syrup said:

    Hi Yo!

  59. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:42 am59Silmo Syrup said:

    What’s going on this weekend? I miss my villains.

  60. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:44 am60ThatGrrl said:

    No one is at work where I am, either, Silmo. It’s quiet. Too quiet.

  61. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:49 am61caroline said:

    I have a hot beer pong date…

  62. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:51 am62belmont yo said:

    I made it to work. Verrry long drive but the kleenex box handles the white stuff well. Good little box.

    Oooooh, and its the first time I ever felt antilock brakes. Trippy!

  63. 17 Jan 2008 at 9:58 am63cbob said:

    This chat is pretty damn live already. I can hear the screaming drop in work productivity at the very mention of a Cvillain live chat room.

  64. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:09 am64Floozy said:

    LOLOLOLOL Byo…….’The Kleenex box handles the white stuff well’. I award you the Masturbatory weather related comment of the frigging DECADE.

  65. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:12 am65lilith said:

    You guys are killing me.

    Hey, random. Has anyone else noticed that the end-bites of HoHos are perfect and the middle of HoHos are really dry and not fun to eat? I’m so bummed out right now. I ate all the ends off.

  66. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:14 am66belmont yo said:

    Wow! I didn’t catch the double meaning and I wrote it! Im both funny and tarded.

  67. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:15 am67Floozy said:

    I am inordinately proud of the fact that I have NEVER eaten a Ho Ho, a twinky, a moon pie or any other thing that professes to be ‘creme filled’. Barfarama

  68. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:18 am68Silmo Syrup said:

    I have a feeling you’ve eaten plenty of “cream filled” things

  69. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:19 am69belmont yo said:

    Thanks for helpin me porn things up in here silmo…

  70. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:23 am70oy said:

    Lilith - I’d be happy to come over and eat out the middle of your HoHo

  71. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:24 am71ThatGrrl said:

    Poll! Ho Ho’s or Ding Dongs! Kidding. I seriously can’t tell the difference.

  72. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:27 am72Thor said:

    i feel dirty reading this thread

  73. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:34 am73Floozy said:

    TG… Big Dongs every time

  74. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:34 am74Floozy said:

    Thor… is it a good dirty?

  75. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:35 am75Floozy said:

    Stay away from Lilith… she’ll eat your end off.

  76. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:36 am76belmont yo said:

    RE 71: ho ho’s = hockey pucks, ding dongs = turds in shape

    otherwise no difference.

  77. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:38 am77Thor said:

    My friend told me last night “I don’t get my hands dirty enough” so I’m trying new things.

  78. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:39 am78Floozy said:

    Fisting?

  79. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:40 am79ThatGrrl said:

    Floozy! OMG I’m laughing my head off in an empty office.

  80. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:51 am80caroline said:

    wow.

  81. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:52 am81caroline said:

    #68 gotta agree with silm, Flooze.

  82. 17 Jan 2008 at 10:54 am82Silmo Syrup said:

    78 = I LOVE Floozy

  83. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:10 am83evenstar said:

    What handles white the best?

  84. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:19 am84lilith said:

    What?

  85. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:21 am85caroline said:

    is anyone gonna touch this?
    baddabum

  86. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:22 am86belmont yo said:

    The Fraternal Order of the Crusty Sock.

  87. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:23 am87Floozy said:

    I have my trusty 10 foot pole out of storage, and am keeping it at a distance.

  88. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:23 am88caroline said:

    c’mon you can do better than that B’yo

  89. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:24 am89evenstar said:

    I thought b’yo was refering to the white in certain bars’ bathrooms. Naive me…

  90. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:25 am90belmont yo said:

    Dang, haters.

  91. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:25 am91evenstar said:

    Crusty Sock is a good name.

  92. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:36 am92ThatGrrl said:

    Crusty Sock sounds like Cripsy Duck’s alter-ego.

  93. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:39 am93belmont yo said:

    Are we talking cocaine, snow or baby batter? Because I am very confused.

  94. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:46 am94Floozy said:

    Do you want to borrow my 10 foot pole?

  95. 17 Jan 2008 at 11:56 am95belmont yo said:

    No baby, I got my own.

    ’scuse me while I whip this out…

    /bow chicka bow wooooowww

  96. 17 Jan 2008 at 12:27 pm96evenstar said:

    there should be a drug poll.

  97. 17 Jan 2008 at 12:45 pm97Floozy said:

    I just duct taped a broom onto the end of my 10 foot pole… felt I needed the extra 4 feet.

  98. 17 Jan 2008 at 12:58 pm98Silmo Syrup said:

    now you can sweep the snow off your sidewalk without leaving your house

  99. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:01 pm99Floozy said:

    I no longer have a sidewalk. Byo skidded past 5 mins ago and took it with him.

  100. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:22 pm100lilith said:

    Comment 95 is pure comic genius.

  101. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:31 pm101ThatGrrl said:

    Yay! Blazing Saddles reference! Thanks, B’Yo!

  102. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:37 pm102lilith said:

    I also want to thank b yo for coming through for me last night. I sure showed those kids!

  103. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:41 pm103belmont yo said:

    How could you possibly know that Floozy? I cannot possibly figure out where you are? The pink house? The little tucked away brown one? My street?!? There aren’t many houses that can have a view of my home that aren’t either filled with the handicapped or people I know.

    You don’t have to say, code and all, but damn, like the pirate with the ships wheel down his pants said… “Arrrrr! Its driving me nuts!”

    Masterful crawl down the unplowed unsalted street though, no? With the flip at the end… And after a beer at Beer Run! Quite proud o’ me-self.

  104. 17 Jan 2008 at 1:51 pm104Floozy said:

    The pink house…OMG that’s Mare Hunter’s house. Fucking mad old bat.

  105. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:02 pm105belmont yo said:

    Flooz: I know, you are in the “random yard sale in yard with squirrels carved into tree stumps” house!

    Lillith: You looked mad stylish last night… lit me up. And yes you can show those sprouts a thing or two on a table. But then, I always play better when you’re there. In fact, if I ever get a really big gig, how can I bribe you to show up? You blow fuses in the world of muses. Check the cd’s yet?

  106. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:07 pm106lilith said:

    What a compliment! I am literally tickled pink. I was worried I was being an Amanda DeBlondess.

    CDs are sitting next to me! I’m saving them for later, when I’m apt to sip some cheap red wine and start writing tomorrow’s cVillain content :) Thank you!

  107. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:08 pm107lilith said:

    Actually, Amandas don’t show up in the state I was in. Ha ha.

  108. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:11 pm108belmont yo said:

    Oh but they do:

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1796914

  109. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:16 pm109lilith said:

    That was hilarious.

  110. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:19 pm110Floozy said:

    Alas Byo my yard is squirrel-less apart from the feral breathing type..
    Did you hear about the guy that walked into the doctor’s surgery with his genitals wrapped in Saran wrap…

    Doc said “Don’t say a word… I can clearly see your nuts”

  111. 17 Jan 2008 at 2:27 pm111belmont yo said:

    Lillith… I grabbed those cd’s at random out of the stack I keep for villains that show up and say hi (like free transit coffee)…

    Black ones are fast escafe-ish choons, good for working out/shoveling snow.

    Silver ones are exactly perfect for chilling and siipin cheap red wine. If one says “dulcius ex asperis” on it, start with that one. And relaxxx…

    I hope you like.

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