You guys seem to have spare time on your hands today, so…
Is there such thing as mutually platonic friendship between heterosexual men and women?
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Popularity: 5% [?]
Tagged as: Questions, Singles Scene
You guys seem to have spare time on your hands today, so…
Is there such thing as mutually platonic friendship between heterosexual men and women?
See also:
Popularity: 5% [?]
Tagged as: Questions, Singles Scene
No, no no and noo, Negative, and that would be no, no and no.
Yeah they can be, until they have sex. I was friends with a girl for a long time, but after a while, you just wanna bone. Oh and if you don’t mind ugly people i bet you could have an unfortunate looking friend of opposite gender.
That’s a set of no’s from me as well. I always sleep with my male friends. Party anyone?
1. Yes, I’ve had fewer problematic situations than not (I usually play the kid sister role in my male-female friendships) but the ones that go wrong go really, really wrong
2. Yes, but I’ve found it works better without having ever dabbled than after having done so and retreating, but it could just be me
3. Yes, but rarely (I nearly had an ex be my maid of honor, but he wouldn’t wear the dress).
my younger sister is friends with all her exes, usually from the moment they break-up. Doesn’t seem to matter who breaks up with who, she just is sad for a little while (or not) and then moves on to the next guy.
She is my hero and I also think she’s completely mental.
But, sure men and women who haven’t dated can be friends easily, even though there is typically always something kinda hanging in the air. Almost all my close friends are opposite gender… maybe I thrive on subtle sexual tension?
Who’s been minding the ugly people? They could be anywhere by now!
/this should be a lively topic.
*clearing my throat*
Lurkers? Remember, you can be anonymous
yes, they absolutely can. but i also think (and i bet i’m pretty rare in thinking this) that sometimes a friendship between a heterosexual man and woman is better after they experiment. if nothing comes of the hook up (no dating, no prolonged awkwardness), then the friendship can become even stronger, now that the will-we-or-won’t-we moves out of the way.
chris rock called. he told me to post this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuUhwFXM6Gg&feature=related
1. No. One or the other party is always attracted. Never fun when only one party has an attraction. Sooner or later, tends to blow the friendship.
2. No. It pretty much tends to lead somewhere. Unless one party is completely repulsed on a physical level. Two hottie heteros generally at least experiment, one eventual drunken night (so that they can later blame it on the booze, if it totally sucks).
3. Yes. But you can’t be friends right after the breakup; only after having found a replacement significant relationship.
Let’s let the ‘experts’ weigh in on this one…(I OBVIOUSLY am having a snow day)
Sally: Harry.
Harry: What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, ok?
Harry: Great! Friends! It’s the best thing…
Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is… and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true, I have a number of men friends and there’s is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail’em too.
Sally: What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn’t matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
indie dork - excellent link.
dick is a glass case… omg, Bring the pain is still funny.
I’ve seen that bit before… awesome link.
See also(from my experience):
1)Yes
2)Yes
3)No(Only in the case of the LTR[I’d say 7+ months?])
No one’s ever had cuddle buddies in here?
Indie, that clip is awesome!
Ah yes this is a famous question in the more civilized cultures of the world… “L’amitié entre un homme et une femme existe-elle?”… where the art of conversation is coddled… an the responses are inane, lovely, unbearable unless we linger for no sake at all…
It even appears on Yahoo Answers / Quebec.
NO
YES - they just stop being friends before experimentation happens
YES - But only if the person moves away
I had a crush on one of my best (post-college) friends (Jill) who I introduced to my best friend from college (charlie) on his week long visit. Byu the end of the week they were together. On Charlie’s last night they were kissin’ and talkin while I was half passed out on the couch. “Wouldn’t it be great charlie if we were married and lived in vermont on a little farm with chickens and hens and sheep, and you could have a studio where you make art and I could have a garden blah blah”
It almost destroyed both my friendships
But now I am back to being best friends with both AND they are married and live in vermont on a little farm, etc etc etc It all came true
no
yes
yes
You see you were friends… you did the dirty deed and then you are trying to just be friends again, and he’s talking about some football bullshit and she’s sitting there thinking ‘Wonder if he knows he has that mole on his ass that looks like Gandhi’ and then she’s talking about some girly bullshit and he’s thinking ‘I wonder if I got her in bed again if she’d take it up the ass this time…’
We are just animals with clothes on.
Ditto caroline.
I cannot touch these questions with neither my, nor floozy’s, ten foot pole for fear of being monitored. Apparently, once you get a taste of ‘yo lovin, and “friends” was the condition in advance, things tend to get a bit well… stalky (villains have borne witness), and on multiple fronts, and over the course of years. From mild to scary, thats all I’ll say. And its not good, because when the real deal comes around (at the wrong time, as it always does)… well… You. Are. Fucked. And then you have to go to the black hole of self confrontation, with only a marginal chance of survival. And then you end up a recluse lunatic like myself, with only some weird community of intarweb freaks to communicate with.
So that is while I will become a belgian monk, brewing ale for Beer Run and taking a vow of chastity. So sad, really, because sex is my favorite thing in the whole world.
Which kind of answers the questions, in a way.
Hmm… maybe not. Oh well.
That works out well… I assume you know why Belgian ale is all cloudy?
my short answers are yes, yes, and yes, but 2) and 3) depend on the circumstances. five years ago, though, i’d have said no to all three. well, okay, maybe i’ll waffle on #1 a little: i can’t ever tell what my guy friends are thinking unless they’re blatant enough to just toss their pants out the window, so i just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume platonicity on both ends. mmm… platonic pant-tossing.
nice to meet you fdr.
I am reminded of Plato’s “Republic.” It opens with the group talking with an old man. Socrates asks, “What’s so great being old?” The old man answers, essentially, that he’s no longer horny, and he feels like a great weight has been taken off of his shoulders. “I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master,” he says.
I say that, yet I have more than a few female friends I’m not trying to work some angle with. I’m wired a little differently, I fear, but also these friendships arose during unusual, even difficult times, and we bonded on that basis.
the answer to all 3 is “depends on the pair of people”
definitely no
no
nah……..one’s still gonna wanna make the beast with 2 backs
i would only answer this question honestly if i were truly anonymous, which i have obviously done a magnificently crappy job of. so as long as i’m being dishonest, the yes, i’ll be friends with you all.
i hope that was confusing.
# Can a man and a woman be friends, without one having romantic interest in the other at any given time?
Absolutely
# Can a man and a woman be friends, without experimentation?
Absolutely
# Can a man and a woman be friends, after a break-up?
Hasn’t happened yet, but anything is possible.
Can a woman and a woman be friends, without one having romantic interest in the other at any given time?
Can a man and a man be friends, without experimentation?
df… See… animals with clothes on.
LaGrape, spicy and I like it!
chris rock commentary aside, ive found all of the above are theoretically possible, although rare. depends a lot on mutual timing, intensity of the relationship, and the individuals involved. im sure that for some personalities, a few– if not all– of the hypotheticals are completely foreign concepts (unfortunately for the others).
Jools, I completely agree with you. If you can get past it, things can be really cool. Having said that, I would totally sleep with any of my opposite gender friends
what about a woman and a woman?
i guess it would depend on the woman…….
wanna make out lolo?
stop - you’re making me blush
Floozy…..exactly
It’s nature… as long as she doesn’t look like your grandmother, you are going to want to NAIL her. As long as he is breathing, doesn’t smell bad and made you laugh all night SHE is gonna want to nail him. Everybody wins.. you can always go get another friend but a booty call is NATURE.
floozy, even if you did look like my grandmother, I’d still want you.
Cuz, well, grandma’s got it goin’ on! The walker adds many variations on “stand up and bent over” scenarios. The oxygen bottle is good for when breath runs short, and the colostomy bag means no more interruptions for potty breaks.
Hmm - this has given me an idea for a question of the week - thanks flooz!