Awkward conversation topics for your hot date tonight

With cynical commentary!

“You’d never even know we’re drinking toilet water! So refreshing.”
Slate.com: It’s Time To Drink Toilet Water by Eilene Zimmerman, 1-25-08
Mmm! You think on that one!

“Sure, I worry about world hunger and AIDS. But of all these problems, I know in my heart that I have to take a stand on dry-cleaning hangers.”
GulfLive.com: Cleaners caught in hanger dispute, 1-26-08
Why can’t we be a nation that accepts wrinkles? On skin or clothes? WHY? But seriously, how random is that. That’s not a question.

“Yes, I understand that you want us to be exclusive, but I’m still seeing my therapist. I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t look at me like that. You’re doing it right now. You think I’m gay, don’t you?”
NewYorker.com: Shouts & Murmurs “Last Session” by John Kenney, 1-28-08
This is hilarious. I can’t be cynical because it’s already cynical.

“Kate Beckinsale’s cat almost caught fire. Isn’t that like so interesting?”
Stuff.co.nz: “Hollywood star’s cat catches fire before awards” 1-29-08
Based on the look of her huge head on her toothpick neck in that publicity photo, I’m guessing the bitch was so starved she tried to rotisserie the thing.

“Post feminism–they make Raisin Bran, too, right?”
Slate.com: Have post-feminists checked out politically? 1-29-08
Not a blog I read. Shocker.

“I feel like we’re really connecting, so can I ask you a hypothetical question? If you shattered your hip Jell-o wrestling at a party on your school property in Jell-o your school cafeteria provided, you’d sue your school, let your friends call you Wet Blanket, and let the administration ban Jell-o wrestling forever too, right?”
NewsDay.com: Judge tosses $1M NYU Jell-O wrestling suit, 1-29-08
Bright, lime-colored future for this genius.

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3 Responses to “Awkward conversation topics for your hot date tonight”

  1. 30 Jan 2008 at 9:10 ambelmont yo said:

    My god, your right about Kate…

    http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/1946/698238yq7.jpg

    /kit tays on fy yar… better throw it in the wah terrr..

  2. 30 Jan 2008 at 9:21 amcolfer said:

    I guess regina’s on a plane a newsweek on her knees
    While miles below the curlews call from strangely stunted trees
    The painted CAT NAMED CLIVE sits just as though he’s flying
    Regina’s jet disturbs his wispy beard.

  3. 30 Jan 2008 at 9:31 amStanley said:

    I read the XX Factor blog. Dahlia Lithwick = teh snarky.

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