Not that I’m changing the subject or anything. Oh wait.
I know quite a few people who make a habit of going out solo, and I like their style! (I don’t start out that way, but I invariably split off at some point in a night.) Some people set out for South Street on Tuesdays solo, knowing the crowd rarely changes. Some people just don’t like the bar their friends are going to and want to see if they’ll run into someone they know elsewhere. Some people are friends with bartenders and want to hang out with them on slow nights. Some people hate people. Or maybe…
Question for pack hunters: can you handle it?
Question for solos: You’re really midnight cowboys, aintcha?
Popularity: 6% [?]
Tagged as: Bars, Charlottesville, Questions
When I was single I almost always went out alone. If I was going to drink, I’d go somewhere where I knew the bartender. Most of the time though, I’d go out and shoot pool alone. I met a lot of interesting people that way, and since I went several times a week after work, in addition to weekends, the guys that worked there would keep an eye out and chase the creeps away. I think the ability to go out for a night, by myself, is what I miss most now that I’m married with kids.
When I was single I found that I had much more success in terms of meeting someone (be it romantically or platonically) when I went out alone. I used to hang with two types of people: super-scary and üt;ber-nerdy. I had one friend who was the perfect storm - a super-scary üt;ber-nerd.
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Okay - forgot representation for umlauted “u”
Back in my single days, I used to love to go out alone, and hoped I didn’t know anyone (and no one knew me, mostly) wherever I went. This was most fun on a road trip. It’s way easier to get into some crazy stuff when you’re by yourself. Danger is exciting.
I roll solo like the last rolo, cholo.
Oh wait, I lied. I roll solo more than I realize, if I stop thinking only of bars on the mall. No wonder I like midnight cowboy style. I am a midnight cowgirl. Giddyup.
Midnight cowgirls sounds like a porno. I like it. Someone needs to pick that up as their handle. As for flying solo, I do it all the time. Being as in-demand as I am, it allows me to hit up many parties or bars and grace everyone with my presence. Plus, once you just open up and meet people by yourself at a bar, all kinds of random adventures ensue.
i’ll go out alone anywhere in the world except for where i live.
Eesh what are the odds this would come up as I’m contemplating doing just this tonight (and rather out of my element might I add). Any suggestions for a destination?
Why are you out of your element? Are you usually in a large group? Part of a couple?
Marshall up all you courage and just get on out and go. Thats the whole point of rolling solo. You can float on the winds of impulse.
I used to travel for work, alone, a lot. It’s often difficult to find the “cool” places to hang out, but it feels so loserish to stay in the hotel when you’re in a new town. Before I left for the road, I’d find out which places in my destination have NTN Trivia (that electronic trivia game they have over at BW3 and Rivals, where you play against everyone else playing, nationally). When I got there, it gave me something to do, other than look like a ripe target who was all alone. I met some fun people, that way, too.
Locally, I tend to go where I know I’ll know friends of mine will be. Or where I know the bartenders. If I knew no one at all, I’d probably pick South Street. Good beer. Nice bartenders. Sports on the televisions can always be used to strike up a conversation or just to provide a distraction.
I have a long-running but so-far-unsuccessful campaign to get the Bistro to adopt the slogan, “Where everybody knows you’re lame.”
I used to do this fairly often, but I wouldn’t stay at a place if I didn’t recognize anyone or know staff - unless it was to have dinner or an en-route drink in which case I wouldn’t have an agenda to meet anyone new or chat.
I used to go out alone all the time. Sometimes I knew I’d meet up with folks but mostly it was a completely solo activity. There is a certain joy to being free to bounce from place to place, to meet people without feeling tied down to friends, etc. It’s particularly good ina place where no one knows who you are. That said, I go out with people most of the time these days and I enjoy it a lot more. Also, I tend to get into a lot less trouble.
I rarely to never head out alone; in fact, I’m not sure I would know what to do with myself if I did…
do you just strike up conversations with random people at the bar?
do you hope random people at the bar strike up conversations with you?
does this work for guys as well as girls is flying solo a women’s only thing?
my experience at bars with random people that have come up and talked to me (who are solo) is that they are usually a) really drunk and b) kind of sketchy or crazy.
i really like flying solo every now and again. the worlds i spend most of my time in are pretty self-contained, so it’s a great way to meet people i never would otherwise.
ouch!
@15 - i usually just start talking to people (in a non-drunken or sketchy way, hopefully!). it much easier than it seems. i’ve traveled overseas by myself a lot as well, so i guess i just got used to being alone in places and striking up conversations.
I love you people. Look at this. I feel so validated.
Thaqor, I usually start out with a book or magazine with my beer or wine. Conversations happen very organically if the place has a crowd. Eccentrics or leeches can be dealt with two ways. One, you tell them you’re there to read and enjoy some quiet time and politely ask them to respect that (”Listen, it’s really nice to meet you, and I’m flattered you came over to say hi, but I’ve had a really hard day and I am loving this chapter/article, etc”). Two, you sip fast, pay out, and get out. If I really want me-time, I smile a lot less and stick to one-word answers. Talking to couples is usually really safe and fun. Women can be cool, but so rarely initiate with one another. Men lie like rugs. Sometimes. Anyway, what will you get out of it? A story. Learning something from someone different from you.
Thaqor, have we met before?
Lilith, I do the book or paper thing, too. It has made many a dinner, traveling alone in Europe, bearable. For exactly the reasons you state. And once, while reading “Atlas Shrugged” in a bar in Boston, I ended up being kidnapped (in a nice way) and carted all over the city by a bunch of people who initially all bonded over the fact that they’d tried reading the book about a zillion times and never finished!
lilith, what a great summary. i agree on all points. the book/magazine thing is always a good idea. and you’re right, sometimes you want to be alone amongst some hubbub (at least i do), and a book gives you a good out.
I prefer to bring scotch to the library but whatever floats your boat
20,000th comment? Congrats Cvillain! (and lilith and Thor!)
hip-do: you so should have just exclaimed “Wilt Chamberlain!!!” Way to blow it. As it were.
How does H-D know that?
wow I find it really interesting that so many people are so comfortable going out alone. I can’t think of a time that I ever have gone to a bar without already knowing a group of people I know would be there..but I’m a pretty shy person…I’m intrigued now though, I wanna try it!
Well you might as well get used to. I was in Australia last year and no one - I mean no one - goes as a couple or as part of the group. Seriously
I’d say I go out alone 95% of the time.
Sounds awesome to me, I’m going over with one other person anyway…hopefully 2..So I’m sure we’ll be going out together to start with. Makes sense though, every Australian I’ve ever met was really outgoing and friendly. I love it.
Hover over a comment number and check the URL. Do you see the number at the end? H-D’s #24 is 20000.
@15 Often I try to run into people I know. But I will sometimes strike up conversations with random people, just like trillian (I hope I don’t come off as crazy and/or drunk). Sometimes they start them with me. Either way, I just like to see where fate takes me. Older people love to strike up conversations and impart their wisdom on me. Sometimes it’s really fascinating, sometimes they are just plain crazy. Either way it’s entertaining. I think it’s more of a guy thing though…I don’t often just see a girl by herself at the bar; they always travel in packs.
I see! I see!
I’ve gone out alone before, and it’s alright. I tend to have much more success picking up chicks with a wingman though. That way when you get totally shot down, you have someone to laugh about it with instead of just feeling like a chump.
I used to go out a lot with my dog when he was more mobile. Find the table of cutest girls and ask them to watch him while you’re in the bathroom, easy intro. Nowadays, I’m probably headed out the door with no specific plans to meet anyone about 25% of the time. I know a fair amount of people in this town, so if I want to, I can find familiar faces, but sometimes you just like to leave your chances to fate and see what happens. I’ve had a couple of relationships start because the cute girl at the bar next to me took pity on my alone-ness
i’m a total misanthrope, but i prefer not to fly solo at bars. if i’m meeting someone there, i hate being the first one in. that wait is so damn awkward… or maybe it’s just me.
Thats just it doof, you can leave your door alone, but you will invariably run into folks. Its harder to stay alone…
I travel for work a lot and love venturing out solo. Bothers me when people say it’s dangerous, because what’s the fun of living in fear and missing out? Not to a bar-bar, but a trendy lounge or boutique hotel bar can be a really cool scene for people-watching. Just for a drink or two. I use Lonely Planet type stuff, thorntree. Don’t ask concierge!!!
I almost always fly solo. I go to places I feel comfortable, i.e. Not Big Al’s, and yes South Street, know the regulars, (which I guess would include me) and like the bartenders. I enjoy striking up conversations with random people if I’m in the mood for it. I’ve met some really interesting people that way. Met some of my closest friends here in town that way. Also met quite a few loons. I like to observe and am generally just independent that way and often times my friends and I are on different schedules. And Tim, I’m a chick. And yes, it is unusual but I listen to a different beat on a lot of things.
sdnim ruoy morf epyt htiw delims ev’I elihw llams a rof yad yreve smeeS .teews nmad os lla era uoY
awaiting moderation. I am awaiting moderation. Please moderate my comment. Oh moderation. Oh moderation, moh ohaaa aaa, der-ation… I’m a lii’ddle pre-, pre-, pre-. pre- turbed to be awaiting moderation, and I’m writting in little boxes little boxes all the same. [This is one of those sing along stylies.]…
More than cheese, that’s for you.
“http://deleted”
went semi- solo out tonight.
i really wanted a posse. i used to be very comfortable solo until well, it just was too much.
but i still try. i will try solo cause there isn’t necessarily an option and so…
please- whatever you posted as, give the randoms a chance!!
i still try cause i am hopeful, not cause i’m stalker….
There is no love like villain love, add that to the code, bitches.
My eternal gratitude. Much hotness abounded.
help!
more than cheese is my new favorite character. effective immediately.
Indeed, parlie. The notion that there’s something beyond cheese is intriguing and awe-inspiring.
Tell us more, MTC!
More than cheese? Hello, it’s called spray-on cheddar. Obvi.
even the sheer audacity to suggest the notion! MORE THAN CHEESE!
pure flim-flam.
more!
lilith means AEROSOL spray-on cheddar, which is a popular condiment in the hot dog flavored cotton candy industry.
it’s an environmental menace, but fuck you it’s a HOT DOG CLOUD!
i am not happy right now. I will sit here and ignore you all…………
All right, I call shenanigans (not the commenter, the actual, uh, thing). more than cheese is obviously some troll from Kraft™, getting ready to shill some new product.
C’mon… somebody make me laugh?
I call shenanigans the actual commenter! tell me a bed time story….. PLEASE?
I’m making out with a Velveeta cheese packet.
that’s what craigslist is for. we’re having a serious discussion about cheese, get the fuck out.
lilith, your too sexy to make me laugh.
i mean….
yeah yeah yeah!
You guys ruined it. Velveeta thinks I’m cheating on her with Molly McButter. It’s getting sloppy. Gahhhh.
Velveeta? thats what it’s come to?
I think she’s trying to inspire you to melt her. It’s all very weird.
ok, I’m having gender issues (how is that pronounced?) I am a guy. every time I post anything y’all think I’m a she. what does that say?
64 was to 63 regarding our noble and righteous overlord.
just ’cause I’m all tender and such doesn’t mean I’m a she.
it’s because you pouted like a little bitch in #53. that’s what did it for me at least.
Yeah, 53, not so many dot-dot-dots. Total chick move.
also the pouting.
fine!
I’m going to have to report this to the authorities. Oh damn!
This is totally a chick. I’d bet parlie’s left nut.
parlie? you takin?
parlie, no!
doof, you missed a few post ’cause now I’m “moderated”.
let it be known that we are censored sometimes. (where’s Frank Zappa when you need him)?
lilith? gonna come clean?
Well I have to say (with a five minute grace period) that lilith is [a] chicken.
mtc, you’ve got a new username, so you’re going to be moderated for some time till it can be determined that you can play well with others. I change up my username every now and then, and I’m moderated every time. Comments made notwithstanding, I still think you’re a chick.
People! Do not feed the trolls.
oh
what
?
by the way, happy february
doof, it’s new but my comments weren’t missing till i came out as a guy. (spelling genderism).
lilith is chicken!
cake. led zepplin. phish.
p.s. djshadow. chemical brothers. jeno(dj) from cali. and acdc.
btw i intend to see kid rock. who wants to come?
he is an amazing showman and he’s billing it like an old-school, i mean “old-timey medicine show” with dickey betts of allman brothers and guy from run DMC…
and he is the consument preformer- he reads the crouds, he plays for the croud and can cover whatever.
seriously…
i hope to meet my heart’s equal there-yes, i know it’ll be wierd, but i appreciate the showmanship and devil without a caue isn’t just pop culturally punny, it is a good album.
hit me up if you wanna go see what happens, and have a really fun time…
inset w for u
42: sigh. i had such a huge crush on nuno when i was, um, 12…
Hey Super-Cheddar, I went to bed. And for everyone’s sanity, the comments were moderated as in approved, not deleted.
sanity?
Lil, I’ll have you know that I awoke today with that “more than” song in my head. This will be a long day I can tell. (we’re all still friends, right)?
PARLIE HOUR
Here’s a much better Extreme song (incidentally, this is what the first US Air Guitar champion played): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71OehJ8S0FQ&feature=related
Long live Gary Cherone and Nuno Bettancourt!
it’s not parlie hour yet, hold your horses.