It’s the inaugural post of Bite Me. Golf claps, please.
Like the awkward conversation topics and starters, Bite Me provides you with useless knowledge to flaunt. And, like the awkward stuff, it will likely appear with no regularity and has nothing to do with Charlottesville. You have Wired magazine and my insatiable hunger for food to thank. As I write this, I am eating guacamole plain because I have run out of things to dip in it and sipping cheap red wine. I really appreciate food, I assure you. Now, without further ado.
Dear lilith,
What is truffle oil and why are you obsessed with it? Can it be used as a massage oil? Speaking of oil and sex, how is extra-virgin olive oil extra-virgin?
Love,
lilith
Lilith:
Thank you for your interesting questions! Let’s first go over what truffles are not. Truffles are not related to chocolate truffles, although both could be argued to be aphrodesiacs. Truffles are not animal excrement– I’ve heard that one. Truffles typically aren’t in truffle oil.
Gasp.
A truffle is like a mushroom that grows into the ground near trees– it’s the fruit of the tuber fungus. Black truffles and white truffles are the best known and most coveted varieties, and all typically look like a very small, dark potato. Trained hogs and now dogs are used to sniff them out in natural habitats, but truffle-lovers began trying to farm them about 30 years ago. If they are real, they are a big deal– to the tune of $800 to $900 per pound.
So truffle oil is not real. This is not common knowledge. It is suggested that it was not even brought to the attention of most American chefs until Daniel Patterson’s “Hocus-Pocus, and a Beaker of Truffles” was published in the New York Times last May. Truffle oil is, by and large, olive oil with chemical additives. I would be more outraged if I weren’t using something that resembles a can of aerosol hairspray to grease my frying pans, and picking it up a few aisles over from calorie-free spray-on butter. These products may be more foreign to chefs, hence the shock and outrage.
Why am I obsessed with it? I find it intoxicating, said with nothing short of a Mr. Pitt drawl. That, and cache.
Can it be used as a massage oil? Yes, especially because it is, in fact, olive oil. Last week, I hyperlinked to an interview with a sex columnist last week in which she says olive oil is a good natural lubricant. –If you can get past the associations with garlic bread and Popeye.
What makes extra-virgin olive oil extra-virgin? Lilith. Really? Why must you take it to the bad place?
Olives for making olive oil are collected by shaking olive trees– more than one kind of olive, typically. Hand-picking is best, but it is less efficient. If these olives are cold-pressed (no heat) within 24 hours of being shaken from the tree, their oil is not blended with other kinds of oils, and the acidity is really low, it is extra-virgin. If it does not meet this criteria, it is not extra-virgin.
Since I know you so well, lilith, I know what you’re thinking.
Yes. If you use extra-virgin olive oil as a massage oil, it is still extra-virgin. But you, my dear, are not.
Additional resources:
Gourmet: Treat Yourself to Truffles
Wikipedia
North American Truffling Society
Morels.com Virginia
To submit a foodie question to me for the next Bite Me feature, e-mail cvillainlilith@gmail.com with your question and how you would like to be credited.
[Credit: ulterior epicure]
Popularity: 18% [?]
Tagged as: bite me, Food, Questions, truffle oil, truffles
If you can get past the associations with garlic bread and Popeye
Totally smirk-worthy.
Good post, lilith. I had no idea truffle oil was a bit of a misnomer.
Lilith - you aboslutely need to try truffle salt - I’mnot 100% sure of how it gets it’s truffle flavor (chempical or not), but it is divine.
I drink only truffle water. Boheme has it, by request only.
Boheme also serves salted bilge water. Its not on the menu. Just ask for the cocoNUT.
sometimes where i work serves truffle oil. sometimes i work near where i parked my car- last night some jerk threw a brick through my passenger side window(yes, thereby smashing said window), and that isn’t fun at all.
or free- jerk didn’t even take anything.
ps. tried to be on topic before i jacked the thread out of /why did someone be a jerk and cost me time and money, not to mention the whole sitting on glass as(s)pect?…
sorry littlebirdie.
I thought it was Thor’s car….
Not funny!
Yikes. That happened to be up in Baltimore a few months ago…same thing, brick through the window…nothing taken..kind enough to leave the brick in my back seat though. I was very surprised by the amount of glass that was all over my car..still finding it…It really sucks though, sorry. Virginia Glass replaced my window and they did a good job, and did it pretty quickly…I think it was ~ $200 or something
was too
(thread un-jack - nice post Lil. Any real diff between white truffle oil and black?)
dammit! Is it too late to change that to “thread jack-off”?
swick, swick, swick
lilith, what do truffles/truffle oil taste like? (And let me preempt all the smartasses who are planning to answer, “Chicken.”)
with all due respect, screw truffle salt. bacon salt is the seasoning of the future.
http://www.baconsalt.com/
THATS the kind of foodie i am.
Truffles have a musty, earthy, but sweet taste to them. They are good, but for the price they are wicked overrated (Am I allowed to have opinions anymore?)
Smiley- terrible answer, but… hard to describe. I recommend that curious folks pay a visit to Oil and Vinegar in Barracks. Their oils are out to sample all day, and you can purchase them even in small quantities. Truffle oil is not that expensive there!
The flavor isn’t for everyone– my mom hates it, for example. If I didn’t look like her I’d think I was adopted.
Am I allowed to have opinions anymore?
As as a representative of the truffle lobby, I take exquisite umbrage with your comments! Im afraid we will have to perform an opinionectomy on your subjective gland to stop such outrages in the future. Then you will be able to just relax and play with your swicki like a good admin.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
But, I will have no swicki soon. What will I play with?
This comment has been removed by the author for fear of banishment into the pit of death.
resisting the urge to make overwhelmingly obvious joke that Thor just set up…
You will just have to sit there and play with your tartare. Unfortunately we have yet to establish which local tartare is the ‘funnest’.
(Once an admin all drunk on gin rickies
made a joke about removing the swicki
with innuendo he lead
us to a penis joke thread
but yo went for steak cause he’s tricky)
I didn’t even say anything about tartare! I hate steak tartare. It tastes like cold uncooked steak.. who likes that? (oh please don’t opine me for that opinion)
no, no. Not at all, Thor.
Where’s your car parked?
IX Building.
izzit a blue BMW?
it’s toast!
if you need a brick- i left the one previously on my passenger seat outside the abc store at west main.
@8.thanks for the virginia glass suggestion- right now i have a quote of $300.- hoping for less…
and lilith, i don’t know if i can look at my olive oil without blushing…
if anyone is looking for a pricey truffle, check this article out. $330,000 for one truffle, at 3.3 lbs.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22057756/?GT1=10645
Thanks rbv.
Now I know how to deal with that half mil I pulled out of the sofa cushions during weekend cleaning.
A fungus worth more than my house. Now Im depressed.
[…] started some new things this week. Lilith began her “bite me” series with useless flaunt-able Truffle knowledge. Given the fears of the local media and […]