University of Virginia graduate student Karsten Nohl hacked into the “smart card,” making him officially the new Smartest Person in Charlottesville, replacing previous title holder The Rock. (Do you have an international monopoly on the word “rock”? Didn’t think so. Don’t argue.)
Working with two German partners and cheap equipment, Nohl now has the secret code to, like, everything. Now that the story has been broken, Nohl says he will most miss his fake Chipotle gift card to get free burritos and access to full Facebook profiles of non-friends. Just kidding. That’s just what I would do if I were a hacker and could get anythig I want. Then definitely world peace.
Related posts:
- UVA Redshirt Freshman, J’Courtney Williams Arrested
- Chipotle+Cville+iPhone=Fast Food
- UVa Honor Code: Smoke and Mirrors
did i write this article? it smacks of sarcasmatron parlifications. pay me my money!
Parlie, the facts that there are capital letters and complete sentences prove you did not write this. Go back to time out.
If I were able to hack and get anything I want, I’d make sure that my first order of business would be to have Coca Cola in all of the water fountains. Then I’d make sure that Mrs. Fields the cafeteria lady gets fired. And recess will be 10 minutes longer and we won’t have to take social studies or pre-trig.
Vote Tuffy for Class Prez!
no but seriously, well done. it made me laugh before 9am. usually i don’t laugh until i set gobbler’s house on fire, but whoops! i’ve said too much.
I’d be on the next flight to Vegas, and in the VIP room of the Olympic Gardens before you can say “of course you can have a bottle of Cristal, darling, just put it on my tab”.
I’d charter a bus, invite 20 people, then treat everyone to an extended tour of EVERY vineyard and microbrewery in the country. Then I’d do the same in Europe. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I would build the world’s biggest tartare and stick cocoNUT and TwoOFour in it and see what happens
put Shenanigans and 204 in the tartare, then have them wrestle, and you could sell tickets to the after fight buffet.
hacker is a funny word, kinda like trout
trout, cant say it without laughing
Why not offer the smartest guy in cville FREE pub crawl tickets!
no, that’s ok – I’ll pay like everyone else
The smartest girls in cville always drink for free
I remember when this story broke at the end of last year, though I didn’t know he is at UVA. If you’re into security stuff, you should check out the presentation they gave at 24CCC over christmas
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4252367680974396650
oh, yeah – technically a ‘hacker’ is someone who finds an elegant solution to a difficult problem, a ‘cracker’ is someone who breaks into a system.
“Crackers” – it’s not just for Shiffletts and Saltines anymore…
(gettin’ my geek on, beyotch!)
i thought a hacker was somebody who lived in the early nineties and combined the strengths of compuserve and a dial-up modem to fight a life and death digital cloak-and-dagger game involving a secret black box that can crack ANY CODE IN THE WORLD, starring robert redford?
i must be thinking of something else.
0y 15 4n 3|173 h4ck3r, p1mp1n6 y0ur b175.
http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/2842/dontworrymaamhv1.jpg
Sometimes I miss staring at Compuserve for three minutes while it loaded a page. It was like, “Is it coming? Here it comes… it’s loading, oh my GOD, the INTERNET!” Man, Angelfire chat rooms. I learned almost everything I know about third base there.
not hacking, but computer related — no mention of the x-lounge spamming story over at cvillenews?
Super poster. What is that tube running down his leg? Astronaut diapers?
I heard Brittany Spears is actually mentally ill and it is cruel to stalk her outside of medical facilities. Like, would you do that if she was getting a tumor out? Well, probably, but anyway it was on radioiq yesterday.
“Hackers” is the name of a 1995 movie that is only watchable because of Angelina Jolie, as the very sexy Acid Burn.
It is where she met her first husband Johnny Lee Miller, who was the male lead.
Here it comes… it’s loading, oh my GOD, the INTERNET! (new window)
And parlie, I genuinely appreciated the back-handed compliment. “Wow, lilith, you’re actually funny today!” It’s kind of like the cheerier cousin of “You don’t look as tired as you usually do!” Already today, I’ve gotten the “Did you do something with your hair? I like it!” No, I just, you know, did it. At all.
belmont yo, thank you! I love it when my eyes bleed.
“Hackers” was ok, I prefer “Sneakers” myself. Robert Redford, River Phoenix, Ben Kingsley, Sidney Poitier, Mary McDonnell, Dan Akroyd, and David Strathairn…such a great ensemble cast.
Belmont Yo- you can smack that monkey here
SFW
zomg! Mine eyes! b yo, that was an awful thing to do to your cVillain compatriots. Pardon me while I lick this socket to make it go away. Foul beast, leave my poor brain alone!
What is zomg? Is that a “internet” “slang” “word”? Angelfire chat rooms, where are you when I need you?!
i’m going to write about it in my livejournal.
mood: angsty
listening to: the crush of self-loathing against narcissism and entitlement.
According to the Urban Dictionary, zOMG is a varient of the all-too-popular acronym “OMG”, meaning “Oh My God”. The “z” was originally a mistake while attempting to hit the shift key with the left hand, and type “OMG”. So, it’s kinda like “pwned”.
Z
O
M
G
Clear now?
Last one takes the cake. Nice work!
if someone could get jonny lee miller into the… getup demonstrated in #21, i’d be okay with this thread.
pwned!
Parlie, i believe the robert redford flick you are talking about is Sneakers, and yeah, it was amazing. It made me wanna grow up to abandon my best friend when the cops came to bust us for robbing a bank via the internet.
I am so not going to wrestle in a pile of dead cow flesh. Grrrross.
another movie that i think deserves a mention here is “THE NET” starring sandra bullock.
SYNOPSIS: it’s like her whole internetty life is instantly transformed overnight into a bus loaded with explosives, and if she goes under 55 miles an hour the whole thing will EXPLODE and kill dozens of lovable minority stereotypes including a street-hardened but lonely and scared latino gang member, and a blazer-sporting know-it-all white guy who’s really got another thing coming. except the bus full of explosives is actually the internet, and it has stolen away with her identity! to clarify, the gang member is a netscape browser, and the white guy is something obsolete like a 5.25″ floppy drive.
i am really sorry to have made you guys read that.
am so not going to wrestle in a pile of dead cow flesh.
Not even for charity? Take your pick – it could go to:
C.T.R.F.M.C.G.L (clear the rainforest for more cattle grazing land)
or
The lipoinsertion fund for skinny-toed girls who have a crush on Parlie
or
Oy’s Home for Wayward Cheerleaders and Catholic Schoolgirl Nymphomaniacs
some of those poor girls have been waiting months for breast augmentation surgery. And we desperately need another Brazillian waxer on staff. How can you say no to their big round eyes, pouting lips, quivering thighs and …
… I’ll be in my bunk
“Oy’s Home for Wayward Cheerleaders and Catholic Schoolgirl Nymphomaniacs”…
By “home” you mean “basement”?
By “home” you mean “basement”?
You’ve been peeking
just read an article that gives a good indication of what a hacker truly is – linkypoo for long article
These guys are hackers with ginormous brass baby batter factories, but hackers nonetheless (the true def has nothing to do with computers – the guys who put together the CO2 solution for Apollo 13 were hacker gods.
okay, i’m here again. promise, last post of the day:
it’s just a link, ’cause i was curious about zomg(nice pictures ‘yo, but it didn’t satiate my thirst for answers- just left me wanting more)…http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/ZOMG
and i post, ’cause i thought it interesting/funny…at least as much as @35. edit, way more than.;)
scoriole wins. buttsecks, indeed.
Hmmmm…
yes. I am 7 years old.
Hey 43, does your dad know you’re playing with the big kids? BTW, he loves you very much, and says that you attend a very small private school and are doing just fine. You should go out to play now, or do your homework.
/not a pedophile
Silly rabbit, admin accounts are just for adults.
And 7 year old hackers.
What’s next Germans? You gonna ruin the Smart car too? But they are sooo cute.
\”momma’s white wine drunk again!”
Are you asking the germans, or us? I am confused.
Time for a cold shower momma.
I’m asking the Germans. Hence why I said, “Germans”. Methinks you might need a shower perhaps…
Indeed I do, but not for the same reasons you do.
Ich bein eine berliner?
you are a jelly donut
indeed. shame, that.
i am a danish
mmm I want a Danish right now
hey guys, sorry i’m late for the sex chat. i know! i’ve been so crazy, and wow! busy, thanks for waiting,
i’ll take an irish blowjob, please.
too late. I’m spent…
56: How presumptuous of you, shenanners. parlie was quite obviously looking for a Gaelic.
i would like to make a personal attack: stanley is MRSA patient zero.
check it out: http://www.internet.google
ZOMG! MILLION MAN LURCH.
“WHAT DO WE WANT?!”
“BRAINZ!”
“WHEN DO WE WANT ‘EM?!”
“BRAINZ!!1!!1!!”
/stolen joke
stolen but gud.
hey- it’s tomorrow now, so im back, and since i, too missed the sex chat…
all i can say (and i have been waiting to say this)- i saw music at the Box and am happy to report that a lot of people’s were gettin down and sweaty all together up in the Box tonite, yo! (<that yo was not directed at sir belmont, yo- merely a “turn a phrase”).
sweet dreams.
pretty girls don’t dance… they just pose to tehcno.