Everywhere You Look!

Posted by layla on March 27th, 2008 53 Comments

djcandace_1.jpgI’m going to keep this short and sweet, despite love of long-winded, over-the-top, complete verbosity (that much is true, Parlie). I don’t believe in starting a relationship based on a lie, I’ve done it in the past and wound up with a freezer full of chicken breasts and a shaved cat, so I’m going to go ahead and set the record straight from the beginning so that we can go forth and make sweet sweet music together for all our days. Despite what Parlie has promised about anonymity, I want to pull the mask off, toss the gloves to the floor and let my silky hair shine. The truth is folks…


I’m DJ Tanner.

I look forward to putting up plenty of super exciting posts up about things like shopping with my best friend Kimmy, the merits of brushing your hair exactly 100 times a day, the soul-searching life lessons that my dad and uncles always teach me at the end of the day, and most importantly, about my love of and future career and with Lifetime, Television for Women. How’s that for a breath of fresh air?

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53 Responses to “Everywhere You Look!”

  1. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:03 am1Street said:

    Welcome to the party, Layla!

  2. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:05 am2Uva LaGrape said:

    Who’s got YOU on your knees, Layla?

  3. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:06 am3echo said:

    Layla, welcome to the interweb!

  4. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:10 am4Layla said:

    LaGrape, is it not enough that I’ve let you into my personal family life, now you’re wanting to know about my knees too? Let me ease your worried mind, and say, in time friend, all in good time.

  5. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:14 am5shenanigans said:

    Is this the new Lilith? Please dear gawd don’t let it be that same chick who used to write “She-ville” in the C-ville weekly…

  6. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:14 am6belmont yo said:

    And here I’ve been looking for a topic to actually write *about*. Turns out you don’t need one!

    Once I get a free few minute I will bombard the submission queue.

    Oh and welcome.

  7. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:16 am7Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    My best to Nicky, Alex, and the rest of the Katsopolis family. Have mercy.

  8. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:18 am8lolo said:

    I am so very confused…….but welcome????

  9. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:20 am9Uva LaGrape said:

    oh belmont…
    cut
    it
    out

  10. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:30 am10Gobbler said:

    Remember that guy “Boner”? He was cool. His name was Boner.

  11. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:33 am11Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    Gobs - That was Boner. Boner Stabone. And he was on Growing Pains.

    Boner Stabone is also the name giver of Charlottesville’s greatest punk band - ever.

  12. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:44 am12Layla said:

    @5-no sheville in sight, I promise.

  13. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:48 am13Layla said:

    @ 6: B Yo, we had to start somewhere, and sometimes a whole lotta nothing turns into something. Something great. Something with a perm.

  14. 27 Mar 2008 at 11:57 am14belmont yo said:

    Im just taking the piss, no worries.

    Guess my sarcastometer is malfunctioning. Let me find a couple double A batteries and it will be more obvious that I dont have sand in my vajayjay .

  15. 27 Mar 2008 at 12:05 pm15Silmo Syrup said:

    Oh dear God, another one.

    welcome to the haterade layla

    I had wo googler dj tanner. at first i thought you were being honest about your honesty and that you were a disc jockey but now I realize you are clever

  16. 27 Mar 2008 at 12:15 pm16shenanigans said:

    @12: In that case, welcome. Have some smoked oysters from a can and white zin…

  17. 27 Mar 2008 at 12:25 pm17Layla said:

    Parlie told me not to drink the haterade

  18. 27 Mar 2008 at 12:27 pm18Layla said:

    potted fish is, truly, one of the finest delicacies around, and I’m being serious here. I like my bourbon straight, and my fish in hot sauce and mustard, so, don’t mind if I do.

  19. 27 Mar 2008 at 12:27 pm19Silmo Syrup said:

    that was just the haterade talking. it’s safe. trust me

  20. 27 Mar 2008 at 1:09 pm20Gobbler said:

    It’s not safe. I used to have a huge crush on DJ Tanner. I was seriously crushed to find out how uncool she really was. I have some major anger and insecurity issues as a result.

  21. 27 Mar 2008 at 3:35 pm21Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    DJ, I don’t know if you recall or not, but you were considered to headline at a long-ago CVillain meeting: http://cvillain.com/2007/11/28/cvillain-undergound-super-top-secret-killer-rad-you-better-be-there-partymeetup/

  22. 27 Mar 2008 at 7:11 pm22clarence said:

    Your totally hot DJ, especially since your breasts have gotten bigger. By the way, Do you know what happened to Winny Cooper from the Wonder Years? Or better yet, what’s up with Alyssa Milano from Who’s the Boss? What’s she up to these days, any television shows? Let me know what you find out.

  23. 27 Mar 2008 at 7:12 pm23parlie said:

    i always wanted to hook up with jem, the cartoon rockstar. she was bangin’.

  24. 27 Mar 2008 at 7:26 pm24shenanigans said:

    Clarence, those are the type of thoughts you’re supposed to keep to yourself, not say aloud.

  25. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:06 pm25oy said:

    Alyssa Milano is on My Name is Earl

    /was that out loud?

  26. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:10 pm26Tim said:

    Winnie has a PhD in math (from Stanford I believe?). Alyssa Milano was in a vampire themed soft porn…can’t remember the name, but it was pretty hot. She’s also a huge sports fan and designs a line of women’s team paraphernalia (i.e. pink jerseys). What’s Blossom been up to these days?

  27. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:14 pm27colfer said:

    Winnie Cooper is probably the world’s most famous math major, besides Ted Kaczynski.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danica_McKellar#College_and_mathematics_advocacy

  28. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:17 pm28colfer said:

    Winnie does not have a PhD, let’s not let this get out of hand.

  29. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:27 pm29colfer said:

    And I wouldn’t call “Charmed” soft-core porn, although an astonishing number of its stars made odd lip gestures. Some confuse it with Buffy (the sires), but that is very wrong, they say. Oh you fans of Josh Whedon & SM Gellar.

  30. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:27 pm30colfer said:

    series

  31. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:29 pm31parlie said:

    winnie cooper was the first woman to walk on the moon.

  32. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:32 pm32caroline said:

    winnie cooper is thor

  33. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:33 pm33parlie said:

    fuck you’re right.

  34. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:34 pm34Odie said:

    so does that make parlie ‘kevin arnold’?

  35. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:45 pm35caroline said:

    no, parlie is angelina jolie silly

  36. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:48 pm36parlie said:

    i’m fucking matt damon.

  37. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:49 pm37Stanley said:

    off-topic: Truman Sparks’ penultimate show EVER tonight @ outback, going on last. Starts at 10.

  38. 27 Mar 2008 at 8:55 pm38caroline said:

    he’s fucking matt damon

  39. 27 Mar 2008 at 9:03 pm39doof said:

    @37 Now you tell us! Still enjoyed myself immensely at their show last night. A little outside my music comfort zone, but thats a good thing (since I’ve worn out all my Neil Diamond cds)!

  40. 27 Mar 2008 at 9:05 pm40Stanley said:

    @39: it was a late-breaking development.

  41. 27 Mar 2008 at 9:13 pm41doof said:

    I think they’re going to be competing with Boheme for villains tonight :(

  42. 27 Mar 2008 at 9:50 pm42Silmo Syrup said:

    What happened Stanley???

  43. 27 Mar 2008 at 10:09 pm43Tim said:

    @29: Au contraire my friend. It was called “Embrace of the Vampire”: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109723/

    Seriously, what did people do before there was imdb?

  44. 27 Mar 2008 at 10:10 pm44Stanley said:

    Going separate ways, basically, sadly.

  45. 27 Mar 2008 at 10:22 pm45mc said:

    Is my trog copilot sticker a collectors item? Melting my face since back in the day.

  46. 28 Mar 2008 at 8:53 am46Layla said:

    B Yo…you thought my introduction here was nonsense, and look at all that we’ve learned! Local Arts! Potted Fish! Parlie’s fucking Matt Damon! Thanks guys, it’s all a little too much but I have to say that this is the best welcoming party I’ve ever been to.

  47. 28 Mar 2008 at 8:58 am47lolo said:

    layla - can we give you a makeover?

  48. 28 Mar 2008 at 9:06 am48Street said:

    What accessories would a Layla Barbie doll have?

  49. 28 Mar 2008 at 9:10 am49oy said:

    kneepads

  50. 28 Mar 2008 at 9:27 am50shenanigans said:

    Um, Truman Sparks rocked the Outback. That little panda bear is a good singer. And when Tuffy dropped trou on stage…priceless.

  51. 28 Mar 2008 at 9:47 am51Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    Tah dah!

  52. 28 Mar 2008 at 10:26 am52shenanigans said:

    He was NOT wearing red panties.

  53. 07 Apr 2008 at 7:58 am53cVillain » Blog Archive » Week in Review: 3/24/2008 to 3/30/2008 said:

    […] forget Layla’s introduction, the “worse than before” Daily Progress revamp, and the highway shooter (first account, […]

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