Well, wonders never cease. There are so many people out there questioning who their children belong to that they have made paternity tests available over-the-counter. That is right, no more fancy lab tests after a night of three men and a little lady. Just hop on down to your local drug store and purchase yourself a daddy test. I’m not even going to think about the people that have to purchase this test more than once (let alone once). I just can’t believe there is a market for this.
It is just hilarious that the video linked to has a picture of a test that says, “Baby Daddy”. My head is about to explode with all the crazy marketing these people can come up with and more importantly all the parodies of the marketing.
I have only two words for those that purchase this multiple times, BIRTH CONTROL. Am I out of line? Maybe, but this may or may not say a little something about our society.
Popularity: 23% [?]
Tagged as: News, Paternity Test
If buying a paternity test over the counter means you avoid going on Jerry Springer to argue about it in front of a live studio audience, I think that’s actually a good sign.
/Knows people won’t ever stop going on Jerry Springer. Unfortunately.
Eventually, there’ll be home kits for everything.
I think this is a good idea. Can they do tests retroactively?
Honest to God, my parents tell me I was switched at birth. It’s very possible. I don’t really look like either of my parents or siblings. I’m the tallest one in the family by a long shot, and the only one with blue eyes and curly hair. Sometimes, based on the bahaviors of some family members, I get some peace from the idea that it just may be true. They’ve often suggested that we get DNA tests to verify it once and for all, but honestly, I don’t think I really want to know.
Some things are just better of left on the shelf.
hahahaha that a riot, b-yo
I overheard some coworkers talking about breastfeeding the other day and that it apparently is a form of birth control. Someone knock me up quick. Oh wait, that’s a Catch-22…fuck.
celibacy is another form of birth control.
Well, fuck that!
The velvet closet is a form of birth control.
Well, that and…
/yes, I am 12.
if your velvet closet needs some furnishing…
@10 It would be like sitting in a Georgia O’Keeffe painting.
Dudes, yuk.
I’d buy my husband that yummy chair thing but it is just too much money and the drive may dirty it up
on the way back.
What a conversation piece, would look fab in the family room. People would drive from all around to see
my husband’s father day gift! My boys would be thrilled. Daughters would hide when the folks arrive. Damn
like a tampon commercial in the middle of It’s A Wonderful Life.
Afraid it is a tattoo picture on my brain. Make it go away.
Oh maybe there can be a DNA game truth or dare, like quarters. Hope they are reliable or people may be shot.
Sure to be a huge seller. What will Maury do? Foodstamps for Maury.
Right on Belmont @11. PERFECT!
Georgia was a tad racey, joking!
That’s right, Maury does all the paternity tests, huh? Clearly my daytime tv knowledge is low. Replace Springer w/Maury in my first comment.
see Trillian, I needed Criminal Psychology! My daytime tv knowledge is embarrassingly high. Was TIVOing
Springer……my family gave me so much shit I had to stop.
Good point, ernest! We both learned something today
/My step-dad has one of those “Too Hot for TV” Springer DVD’s. He’d probably understand you TIVO-ing it.
my family gave me so much shit I had to stop
Were they writing you letters?
/i need an intervention
You’re going to end up in a church basement with letter writers.
Official intervention/stationary checked at the door!
My family never writes me letters, all I get are dirty clothes. I LOVE letters, my friends write me lots and lots
of letters. Letters rule!
@8 I COMPLETELY AGREE!!! I’d rather get hit by a car than try Celibacy.
Uh, I mean, yes celibacy would be a healthy, positive idea.
I like letters too, particularly W. Its like two letters in one!
PS This is what part of the alphabet would be like without Q and R.
the vagina couch reminds me of every critique session i ever wanted to suicide my way out of.
“ummm, well, i uhh, i like, think that like, feminine SEX-SHUALITY is like, exploited in the modern, um, media culture, and like… i thought that this is like a really INYOURFACE! way of, just, you know, making a satire of what is already, almost like, a satire of… itself? yaknow?”
grade: F.
Good god, you had to suffer through critiques as well? Face peelers, those things were.
Once turned in an epic painting for three classes. Received two A’s and one F. Been a cynic ever since.
the class was “found object sculpture.”
the assignment was “edible medium: make a commentary on consumption or use food to subvert its own purpose.”
the presenter was 300 pounds.
the project presented…
was a gingerbread house.
@22 Yeap Parlie, there is no way to get around the vagina couch with out getting fucked. Not in the good way!
or left to your whatever.
That couch should use the suicide way out! Grade F-!
Could be a shrinks best dream or nightmare. Could make a statement for …. what! That thing talks to you! What
it says is best left to your whatever!
So wrong on all levels! Whatever
Parlie, that is truly awful. I feel your pain.
Pain may be good, only with a vagina couch lolo!
Everybody needs one of those!
Let’s all face peel, makes a gal feel most manly, but only on a vagina couch.
This thread is spent
@3….um, don’t they HAVE to be done retroactively? Prospectively it would just be choosing a partner…
@28-He was just kidding. He does that, it’s a good thing, trust me.
Love me in a special way.
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