Some people eat babies. I love a good dead baby joke. But what’s not funny, is the number of people I know having babies. My sister is pregnant. Two of my coworkers are pregnant. It seems it’s happening to a lot of people. But here’s the thing, all of the pregnant people I know in Charlottesville are in their 30’s. Charlottesville seems to be immune to the “we’re southern, we should get married and have kids while we’re still really young” syndrome.
My wife and I, both grew up just down the road in Richmond. A large majority of our Richmond friends have children already. Some have multiple. They all got married in their early to mid 20’s and started shooting out babies within a few years. When we go home, all people talk about is their kids and when are Gobblette and I planning on having our own? The answer is “back the F off.” There is a lot of unecessary pressure in that town, which was a big reason we decided not to live there.
Before moving here, we lived in NYC, where there’s absolutely no pressure for anyone to get married before the age of 30, or have any children at all. We liked that. There’s a similar laissez-faire attitude about starting a family here, too, I feel. Are we alone in that, or is it just the people I know that make it seem that way?
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- Lynchburg Bitch Slaps Charlottesville, Sleeps with Falls Church and Makes Ugly Babies
I think that 60% of the women at the Faahmiz Maaakit yesterday under 60 were either with child or with a child. All the hormones in the city water are getting people ready to jam.
I want babies. However marriage is totally overrated and unnecessary (I am soooooo not in a hurry to hop into a mistake). Also, dead baby jokes are not funny.
Also, please if you have kids, do not abuse them with awful names. I was just reading this http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23631411/?GT1=43001&pg=13#TDY_Names_Bad
I went to school with a kid named Graham Kraka and had a professor named Dick Hurtz. /not kidding
yeah, I gotta agree that DBJ’s are pretty bad.
Love,
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
also in the not kidding category, I knew a kid in HS whose last name was Corchene (pronounced “kuh-shane”). The tough part is that his dad was named Don. Don Corchene. Ooooh Darlin’!
It kinda cuts both ways. My wife and I are in our mid-30s and have 2 small kids (3.5 and 1yo)… when we lived in Arlington, some of the other parents in our day cares and preschools were so old they could have been OUR parents. My dad actually got in trouble on two different visits for starting conversations with strangers about the joys they shared in having grandchildren, only to find out that the people were playing with OWN children. Yikes. It was sort of uncomfortable for us being around these much-older (and much more “career-focused”) parents all the time.
We’ve never lived anywhere with the opposite issue, pressure to get married and have kids immediately… but obviously that would suck too. C’ville seems “just right” to us, and most of the parents at our daughter’s preschool here are pretty much our age, give or take 5 years, so I guess a lot of Cvillians have the same idea. (I don’t know about CVillains, though…)
Step back a moment and consider the societal impact; had many a fascinating discussion about the reasons for the fact that Europe is dying out!, yep, average birth rates are 1.5, well below replacement levels – what’s in our future? In this are we but one generation behind that European paradise?
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C06EFDA103CF935A15751C1A9649C8B63
I am so glad to hear someone else wonder what is going on with all the babies. What is it, do people just have so much money now they need to put it somewhere? Everywhere you go, there they are. On planes – uggh.
Love babies, but why and why so many for some people? They never stop at one.
Gobbler, beware the laissez-faire (hey, I think that rhymes). I married at 30, was in no rush to have kids, and then found, hmmm, maybe I can’t have kids the regular way. That info would have been quite useful years before when engaged in some worryimg after the fact, but I digress. Luckily we were able to spend some lovely winter weeks/months in Russia and ultimately bring home two guys I can’t imagine life without.
Again. the laissez-faire is great, just be aware that someday far off in the future, you may change your mind.
I have helped raise many children (including my ex’s kids, the youngest being 19), & have helped out at a few at-home births. I like Other People’s Kids(OPK) because I can Give Them Back(GTB). I never really wanted kids of my own, but I’ve changed enough diapers to fill Cafe’ Cubano.
People can be so annoying asking others when they are going to have a baby. My first was somewhat of a
Being a kid fan, planes can be trying, just know that parent is doing the best they can to keep that kid quiet.Of course there are parents who presume everyone finds their child charming because generally people are nice to folks with babies.Those are bothersome parents because they
surprise at 24. In private schools I was younger than most moms, public right in the ballpark.
Avoid the it trendy names. I missed that by a hair with my daughter. While generally nice sounding names, 5 in a classroom gets confusing.There are bonuses to being a younger and older parent. All I know for sure is you want to be mostly sure before starting to making one. Everything is harder than it seems. Some of the best parents I have witnessed are the older ones blind side by a pregnancy! Some of the worst, overwhelmed are the parents with the totally planned pregnancy, armed with books. Shit happens and their picture is fractured. Then a parent usually gets nutty. What I have figured (never could have told me pre kids)is nothing is perfect,go into knowing that. Having said all that, I would not have changed a thing. The reason you don’t stop at one is because with only one you are the playmate and that gets boring (for me)quickly. Do you really think hanging out with a toddler is enthralling all day! Was not for me
just don’t understand their child is one of many, not THE one.Babies made by parents in their thirties can be
comfortable in the knowledge they will be feed and have college. If you think you want a baby, get one. I’ve seen a ton of gals having trouble getting pregnant, even in their mid to late 30s,lots of adoption, cool! Now that I have bored everyone, sorry had to comment.I basically raised my kids alone, so I know of what I speak.Much easier with both parents, if both parents are committed and on the same page, good luck with that.Again lots of shit happens.Guess most everything rewarding requires a lot of dedication, commitment, responsibility.There is more manual labor with children, I never worked so hard phsyically in my life and I am
not a good housekeeper, no high standards here! Almost finished. Knowing from when I was very young I had to be a mom. I was especially good at nothing, I felt in my heart I could a fine job raising a family, It worked i found something I’m decent at and have two very decent kids. They were still a pain in the ass! It is all about
stamina, you have a hell of a lot more than you know.Yeap my kids think I talk too damn much too, sorry for
the long post! Happy decision making. Tell those nosey people to shut up, unless it is your parent.Just kick them! We totally understand a kick under the table:)
Is it legal for cVillains to breed? Should it be? discuss
Gobbler, I think you’re right; the baby “syndrome” seems to develop a little later in C-Ville. This may be due to the lower level of hormones in the City’s water or the lack of talent on the dating scene. Whatever it is I hope the syndrome continues to spread so I can one day retire and collect some of that money I’ve been that FICA guy for all these years.
Why is it that you and Gobblette don’t want me to collect Social Security? Your co-workers and all those women with babeez at the Fahmiz Maaakit are sacrificing for our future financial security so that non-breeders like us can some day retire. I suggest you show some appreciation and consider doing your part so I don’t have to be a WalMart greeter.
/waiting for birth announcement.
been that FICA guy
^
giving
Not for nothin’ but what did you think was going to happen once you got down here. This is stepford suburbia, it’s nice but this is where “Leave to Beaver” world moved when it grew up and got some cash.
Funny, when my wifes graduation gift was a washing machine we were the youngest parents by far. Now we have an 11 year old granddaughter that used to fight over barbies with our 14 year old daughter, her aunt, who loves her 35 year old brother. And we are always the oldest parents on the sidelines…..
Where I come from (deep South) if you’re a woman and not married by 30 you’re certain to be a lesbian. Marrying young is a by-product of poverty, as young women who have very little educational and professional prospects move straight from their parent’s home into their husband’s and would have no idea how to support themselves if they had to. And then the kids come along, which digs that hole much, much deeper. They convince themselves they’re happy and they may very well be, but often it’s just that they don’t know anything else exists.
I moved here and immediately worked with a team of women (30’s and above) who were never married and fully self sufficient. This area has money and it has educated people and that equates to not having to settle into a marriage young (or at all, if you don’t want to).
But there sure as hell IS something in the water, cause people ARE breeding like crazy right now!
Just got back from hitting the evil triangle for running into kids on a rainy Sunday: Target, Sam’s Club and the big stupid mall (I hate that place). Best. Birth control. Ever.
I realize that someone has to do it, but hell (with very few exceptions) is other people’s kids.
It seems lately that all my friends are having babies. And they don’t hang out anymore because they’re home with the rugrats. Laaaaame! Also, what’s with the people who pop out six kids? Wtf? Is it like something you do just because you can? I read in some book (My Ishmael perhaps?) that having a large family will help ruin the planet. Not making that up, here’s a linky poo:
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21684156-5009760,00.html
Down with babies!
ruining the planet causes cancer.
IPSO FACTO… BABIES CAUSE CANCER.
i don’t even know what ipso facto means.
turns out i got it right anyway.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipso_facto
stupid babies
@20: Yeah, well take a number. People buy my eggs. I even had a guy friend once tell me he wanted to knock me up because I would be such a hot pregnant chick. I don’t hang out with him anymore.
Things white people like : making sure you mentioned you lived in New York in a boring post about yourself.Before moving here, we lived in NYC
Folks, the mystery of your child bearing friends is contained in this simple to understand chart:
http://www.kidfish.bc.ca/cycle.htm
Like bugs, we’re hardwired genetically to procreate and thereby insure the perpetuation of the species.
See also the song, “Birth, School, Work, Death.”
I’ve donated my eggs four times. Procreation requirement completed. Let’s party.
shorter #27: “Get ova it.”
I had 2 babies when I was really young, so I am pleased with this explosion of the squishy little things. My kids need jobs baby sitting. They are easy when they are puny. When they are 6′ 2″, not so much.
/”i didn’t ask to be born!”
I’ve donated my eggs four times.
it’s to bad you don’t like to mix it up with bacon.
I don’t like to mix it up with married dudes either.
@31 nor should you that would be wrong.
I am thoroughly enjoying this post as I am distinctly pregnant at the moment (not that you’d know by looking at me… yet). I too blame the water! The brat I’m currently baking was rather unexpected, but the husband and I are pretty excited none the less, especially as we know way too many people who’ve had fertility issues (which is both heartbreaking and expensive).
/officially joining the dark side
CONGRATS LYS!!!!!!!!
i’m not nearly trendy enough to have lived in NYC before living here, but i did live in Central PA, in the heart of Amish Country, and was AMAZED at how many young, unmarried women had children. I grew up in NoVa and only even ever heard about one or two ‘girls my sister’s friend knows’ or something like that, so it really shocked me to move to PA and see this explosion (to me) of young mothers. my ex-wife said it had always been like that there, as there was nothing to do except drink and screw when you were in high school (she grew up there).
I have been debating touching the post with that 10 foot pole over there, only because I am (sorry to keep blowing the surprise) a woman who <> will one day turn in my late night stumbling to the front door to late night stumbling to a midnight feeding with something airing on the side of pleasure.
KCB, I have to agree with you–I have a number of friends who have done everything “right” (school, career, school, marriage etc) and are just now finding out that procreation is not always as easy as the after-school specials would have us believe. It’s a hard thing to watch healthy friends in their late twenties and early thirties try to make the most of a situation that they always just assumed would happen. In much the same way that people should know not to ask a lady if she’s expecting unless she’s wearing a t-shirt that says “I look this way because 1/m 7 months pregnant” I think it’s fair to air on the side of caution before boldly asking when someone is planning on having children. It’s impossible to know what people are up against.
So Layla, when are you planning on having children?
/ oh right. caution.
Clever man, you. I will be having babies at 1/2 past 6 on my biological clock.
I think that’s too late. Certain medical complications can arise when having children in the wee hours of one’s biology.
/not a ’shop. over the line? fascinating story, really.
every time i scroll past this headline, i read it as “ugly babies.” i hate kids, but ugly babies are funny, & so sad.
As my grand mother (yes, the string bean and napkin one) used to say when confronted with a particularly unbecoming piece of crocthfruit: “Well that’s a fine baby.”
/still cracks me up.
“Crotchfruit”? Awesome. Into the lexicon with you!
OK… At the risk of offending everyone who has ever wanted to have a child, here’s something I can’t get my head around. There are literally hundreds of millions of already-living children in the world who, for a hundred million different reasons, would give anything for a parent/couple that could provide for them physically and emotionally. Not to be too much of a downer, but thousands of children will not make it to tomorrow. IF I ever find someone I want to have children with, I think adoption is the route I’d want to go. Why create another mouth to feed when there are so many others out there already who need help. Having one with your DNA seems almost perversely selfish to me. Shouldn’t raising a child be the embodiment of selflessness? Can someone explain to me why the child you raise has to have “daddy’s nose” or “grandma’s blonde hair?” (I mean that it in the humblest way possible.)
I avoided this one, because I’m partial to kids and babies and whatnot, even if I generally prefer to wait it out. Anyway, I saw a woman walking down the street breastfeeding today. downtown. Even the baby was all looking around going, “REALLY?”
@45 – Point very well taken. Unfortunately adoption is prohibitively expensive for many couples. I have dear friends who always knew they wanted to adopt, but when they started the (paper) work of doing so, they found out the average adoption costs the adopting couple $40K. Adopting domesticaly is great, but (understandably) the courts tend the favor mothers who change their minds after a year or two and want their child back, and that’s just so hard. Adopting abroad is a sure way to get a child, and usually one who really needs a family and a better life, but it can be even more expensive than the numbers above.
That being said, I know several companies offer adoption assistance to employees, and have several former co-workers who have successfully and happily adopted abroad. I’ve also heard anecdotally that open adoptions are a great option from both mothers who’ve put children up for adoption and adopting parents, but a lot of people simply don’t want to have the extra level of complexity in their family (meet my mom and my biological mom).
Honestly, the local kids who are most in need are the older kids looking for foster care, but that’s a very different relationship than an adoption, so while I applaud folks who have the heart, time and means to do so, it would be an unfair to suggest to someone who desperately wants a baby that they should settle for behaviorally challenged 12 year old instead.