One of the things that old man Parlie has talked to me about in the past is PWR (posting with regularity) and so today, slightly later than will be the eventual norm, I am inaugurating my Monday Morning Inquiries. It’s like the Spanish Inquisition, but you know, different.
Lets get some juicy weekend goods up here…not just delicious dishes and dirty dancing floors, but solid tid bids and sordid details. Remember, no names, if you go below the belt, clean up after yourself, and keep it real. You guys get the ball rolling, and maybe I’ll muster up a confession of my own.
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Tagged as: Rumors, spanish inquisition, Weekend
this ^ ^ is slander.
i had a party at my house this weekend. nobody burned anything down or stole anything, but we did put a few new chinks in the crumbling facade of the relationship i have with my neighbors.
old man Parlie
Old?
I thought parlie was, like, 13 or something. 
As I left, I peed on the wood that Parlie’s party used for thier fire.
So… you’re asking us to write the article for you? Or am I missing something.
you’re missing something. I just want a good story from your weekend. You know, some personal feedback. I’m sitting back, relaxed, snacking on some smoked oysters and hoping to shamelessly be entertained by all of the little things that I know we all find amusing. A better way for me to go about this would be: tell us the one thing that pops into your mind when I say Last Weekend. For me, it’s blue underwear.
Very well then: An empty room filled with britney spears, tequila and tears. Work for ya?
/has lost his touch.
Parlie texted me Friday night, asking me to come over and spoon him.
fuck me, that’s juicy gossip.
Friday night ended with bourbon and Merle Haggard on the record player (yes record player) at 4am. Then I went wine tasting 2hours after I woke up.
Tuffy and co. went to the Jay Z/Mary J Blige doubleheader in DC. Amazing show. My pants were nowhere near right enough, and my boots: far to short a heel and without nearly enough strapping.
scrippers.
@ 10 That’s low, tuffy. Low, low, low.
My dog drank a bottle of engine oil and threw up all over the house. Now that was juicey.
I gotta say it was a cool show. I bought the tix for lady tuffy as a gift. The purest of musical heights was reached with the opening act’s song: Grind it.
/I know, I know.
@4, you’re missing something alright.. me too, its called lilith. Seriously, layla, this is your third or fourth post and it might as well be entitled “help me out here, I gots nuthin!”?!? With great admin power comes great admin responsibility, get out there and do things, see things, read things then come back here and report and entertain us. Stop breathing that cautious air and err on the side of boldness…please?
/that felt about as good as kicking a puppy/
Here’s some gossip: A cVillain was hitting on me on here in French and told me to come to SS and he’d buy me a beer, so I showed up and said beer arrives and I ask the bartender who sent it, and it’s this older married man. Saw him again at Friday and he made up a story about being paid to send the beer for a friend. Haha, nice try.
Noted. With the traveling etc, I’ve been shamefully out of the loop. In my defense, this Monday post will be a regular thing, but I promise to meet you in the middle there, Doof. And, despite the L’s in our name, I was never brought around to be another Lilith, just a girl in the midst of a budding sausage party. Thanks for bearing with me though, I’m getting my feet wet and will hopefully earn all the zin that shenanigans has been feeding me.
I punched a donkey this weekend.
And then Monday came and I laughed @16
you never “sausage” a party!
@16, I’m sure there’s a simple explanation. He probably just wanted to cheat on his wife with you. Ooops.
@17, Got an e-mail? If I come across something interesting/potentially post-worthy I’ll send it on.
I heard Cecil spent his weekend drinking Bud Light at Miller’s
I thought Cecil died…maybe it was his ghost…someone call wahooptie..
Cecil’s van WAS spotted parked in a handicapped spot and covered in ectoplasm…I’m thinking there is a connection here
@20…I am always open to suggestions, though once I get a little more settled, the goods will get delivered. You want a hot tip for tonight? Henry’s is having a special on their hamburger casserole. If that won’t get this girl out of the house, nothing will.
I don’t think I eat hamburger casserole.
I think I heard Ventana is opening this week.
wtf is hamburger casserole? would you say it’s more like halibut bread, or hot dog salad?
in closing,
mayonnaise calzone.
I don’t P, should we have an impromptu date night to brave the world of baked, processed meat?
yummy
http://www.livingonadime.com/images/hamburgcass.jpg
You don’t p?
You don’t p?
Not even on Letterman?
/minding his p’s and q’s
When I think of Last Weekend, the words “dancing” “moonshine” and “showers” come to mind.
@30–I was waiting to be called out on missing that “know” in there. I pee with the best of them.
I also heard that two female bartenders were working a dinner for the parents of a local school, and some of the fathers got drunk and were coming onto them and being pretty harassing. When one man was asked why he wouldn’t apologize to the ladies he responded something along the lines of, “They’re bartenders. They should be used to it.” Oh, yeah I forgot. Bartenders are sluts and should be treated as such.
Two words that should strike fear into the hearts of every spicy bear and every scowly voter:
Zombie Cecil.
/braaaiiinnnnzzz
Even if they’re large, hairy brutes?
I heard that Cassis was going to try to turn its fledgling mellow-drinking-late-night scene into an OXOesque dance thingy. Whats next? reggae mash-up night at Fleurie? Oh the hiphopcracy! I blame you, DJ Tanner!
Why, Street? Why??
OXO-esque you say? Have you no respect for your elders?
/will pay for your therapy
I heard that Fleurie is going to put out couches in front of the restaurant, like a sort of lounge area for drinking.
That sounds nice. A drink area for lounging.
Dammit. Must. Ignore. Linky-poos.
/off to huddle in a protective corner with trillian
dammit! I’ve destroyed the minds of two (relatively) innocents!
/therapy is going to cost millions
Can we warn others before putting up disturbing links!?
*disturbing being relative.
My relatives are pretty disturbing. And yes, I will warn if I ever make such an awful linkypoo in the future.
@ 35 It looks like a furry acorn. Think “furry acorn” and not “distended fuzz gut” and you should be alright.
@43 - Ha! I wouldn’t go so far as to say innocent. “Has no desire to see half-naked, extra-bulgy furriness,” yes. “Innocent,” perhaps not. No therapy needed. Except maybe to correct my desire to click on every linkypoo whatever the consequences.
@46 - I’m not sure that helped.
@47 - your description has me giggling. Loudly. The natives are perring at me in an odd way. I think I need some fresh air.
@40 really, with $14 glasses of white wine they are probably overdoing it with a couch.
@ 13 - sorry, but i think that’s hilarious, especially if your dog made the spacebag-horking sound i now hear in my head…
/also guilty of non-discriminatory linkypoo clickage. damn you, curious fingers!
….another one bites the dust.
Y’know, maybe going to the Bondage party will be detrimental to my wellbeing.
*smack!*
“What were you thinking?”
*whack!*
“I’m sorrrrrrry!”
*crack!*
“Bring out the grizzled pudding beast!”
*whack!*
“Noooooooo!”
@50: Oh, I’m with you on the ridiculousness of wine by the glass being $10 or over but I think a sidewalk lounge would be kinda groovy.
A hamburger casserole is a meatloaf that fell apart…
Parlie texted me Friday night, asking me to come over and spoon him.
ME TOO!
/I did. He hasn’t called since.
Who was big spoon; who was little spoon? WE MUST KNOW!
no spoons.
lot’s of “fork” tho
/ooooh
@53 the side street cafe hasn’t been tried yet so who knows. It is kinda of close to the street and the after theater crowd might be a plus
http://www.houseoflyrics.com/lyrics/halo_benders/sit_on_it.html (don’t know properly”")
/loves halo benders
I mean………………………………………………………..http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5401647973033218149&q=halo+benders&total=48&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
ser lious el lie (it rhymes with parlie)
@10: Jay Z was in Crozet Friday night, some are saying.
He drives a Bentley. Have seen him on the freeway.
For realsy? Cuz I was for realsy.
@60, the Last of the Real Hustlers got married to the Beyonce on Friday in NYC. Maybe he was enjoying his last moments of bachelorhood at Wayne’s Lanes before heading north.
I didn’t see him friday, this was a while back (4 mos?) but the id was made positively by my offspring, who are wise in the ways of pop star spotting (something about his skin?). We drove next to him from crozet to the 20 (at the urging of said offspring - my poor little kleenex box car was taxed keeping up) I think he has business or family or something in Richmond. He was rolling with a hot-tay, needless to say.
met, briefly, Usher at the St. Regis in LA. Nice guy.
/just trying to fit in with the cool kids
@63: Well damn. It would have made sense for him to be here though since the company that bought MusicToday just signed a $150 deal with him and he had a concert in D.C.
@64:Sweet!
haha not $150, $150 million!
i met jay-z in miami. he had big earrings.
You met Jay-Z?! Any sign of Beyonce? I love her.