this night last year, in the hours following the massacre at VT, i couldn’t sleep so i stayed up all night listening to the wind (remember the wind?) and writing. most of what came out was awful, but i wanted to share an excerpt, because i think the tragedy bears remembering.
after the jump…
“is this any worse, any more tragic, than losing 30-odd young men and women in a puff of smoke and a blood-plume in an iraq marketplace 8 time zones away? absolutely not, but it sure does feel different. it feels dirty, and i feel dirty for thinking about it that way. it’s completely selfish, but in the way that instinctual self-preservation is selfish…to my survival-brain, it doesn’t matter what i’d do if i was faced down with insurgents on haifa street, because i don’t run that risk every day. but i did sit in that classroom in blacksburg. i sat in all those classrooms. almost every day of my life for 5 years, i sat there engaged, or bored, or excited, or hungover, or in love, and i never once thought about what would happen if the door opened up and death walked in.
so as i drift in between wake and sleep tonight, this lightning bolt of reality keeps crashing into the front of my skull, twisting my guts in knots and telling me to grab a gasp of air from the darkness of my tightly locked, silent bedroom. and tonight, as the wind tears down eastern slope of the blue ridge mountains into the valleys in and around charlottesville, shaking the house and screaming mercilessly through the trees that stretch just above, i’m awake. and i don’t have a god, and i don’t know about spirits, but those kids are so soon passed, and hang mighty low above this plane tonight…and in times like this, wind sounds like voices.”
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Tagged as: Shooter, Tech, Tragedy, Virginia
Oh parlie, that’s beautiful. I wish I could write as well as you.
/trying not to cry at work
i cannot believe it has already been one year.
what a sad, sad day of remembering…
Thanks for that Parlie, it really is touching.
I miss Blacksburg today more than ever.
Yeah, thanks Parlie. Today is going to be a rough day. How many Hokies do we have on here anyways?
today we are all hokies, echo
/JMU alum showing love
Well done, P. You are an inspiration.
That is beautiful, parlie. Thank you for sharing it.
Parlie, thank you for writing down what so many of us Hokies felt that day and so many days since then. i also wanted to send out a general thank you to all of the “honorary” Hokies that have shown their support for the Tech family since that day. It’s unfortunate that it took such a tragedy to bring us all together, but it has made for a nice, large community.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for posting this! It means so much to me being a Hokie throughout my undergraduate years of my education. This really hit home for me because my little sister’s friend was shot three times that day and now she and her family are doing much better.
I hope that everyone is well and safe at their schools and work today.
And much love to all of you Hokies out there, our thoughts and prayers are STILL with you.
My prayers are with the victims and their families.
Thanks for this. As a former Hokie and a friend of one who was injured, I think we’d all also do well to remember the survivors, and the pain they must be going through as they face this day. Today, we are all Hokies.
Are you comparing what happened in Blacksburg to the conflict in Iraq? Make hay while the sun shines…
ff - he was saying that 30 deaths in Iraq is no more tragic than 30 deaths in Blacksburg, but it hits closer to home.
Try to keep up.
it’s just as hard to believe now as it was a year ago. thanks for sharing this, parlie.
Today we ARE all Hokies.
Tho I didn’t go to Va Tech (I’m a W&M type, my sister is the family Tech grad) I did live in Blacksburg for 2.5 years. But I’m really in the minority because the place never seemed the safe little cocoon to me. The week I moved there, a Tech student was murdered. He was taken from a convenience store pretty close to where I lived. Yes, this poor guy was killed by some yokels (from Riner, I believe) but it just affected how I saw the place. And no, I’m not trying to diminish what happened last year. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m just saying that my view of the place was also colored by one Tech student being murdered there.
And Parlie, thanks for posting.
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