thanks for the ticket, oy. sorry I bailed early. Looks like everyone enjoyed the back room hawtness. certainly something for the gossip books. reputations were established, solidified and destroyed back there. woot.
The Unvanquishable Nike twittered a twit
Then exploded in a guffaw!
“These commands from Yahweh tickle me
I’m his most favored scofflaw.”
She crumpled the mandate into a ball
And turned it into a mango
The drips that from Her Vesuvius lips did fall
Became the Waltz and Tango
The Waltz tango’ed down Her magnificent front
Over iceberg breasts past Her canyon cunt
The Tango waltzed down Her colossus back
Over tectonic scapulae and through the valley of Her crack
For a fortnight they descended Her redwood halves
Over cellulite dunes and granite-faced calves
When Waltz and Tango reached Her roots
They dansformed into Her left and right Boots.
Higher than a mountain were each heel
The laces, slithering mile-long eels.
Rising from Her snack, the faintest shimmer caught Nike’s eye
“Could that be an ant or flea, climbing up my thigh?”
Abseiling toward Her on the razor-wire stitch,
Whip in mouth, was our own defiant Bitch.
From betwixt the plump patches bulging through each mesh
Bitch admired the teethmarks upon Nike’s fishnetted flesh.
Nike looked up at Bitch and said “Googolgo”
“Wait,” said Bitch. “Let me remove my toe.”
“I love you,” said Nike, spitting out toe jam.
Bitch raised up her paddle. “Sorry!…I love you MA’AM.
Since the birth of time I’ve never been defeated.
Now I’m face down, ass up, my juices depleted.
I’m yours till Time’s death. Name me your price.”
Bitch said, “Them fly-ass leather boots would be nice.”
The 2 seconds for which Nike balked
Would prove to be a bad move
For over Nike’s back Bitch walked
Wearing the Boots Nike feared to lose.
“I’ll let you have them!” Nike pleaded, anguished
“If you tell no human their Nike was vanquished.”
“Saucy little sub,” seethed Bitch, irate
“We both know that bottoms don’t negotiate!”
Bitch raised her paddle high
Beyond Nike’s palace, beyond the sky
Then rode Nike’s ass like it was a used Hyundai
And all humans heard it at 2am last Sunday.
WHAT??? LIES!!!
Here’s where you all start kissing Oy’s ass to be his date!
You already tried to flirt with me once, Oy, and I let that slide. I think it’s only fitting I get the ticket.
no, echo, you did NOT “let it slide”, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkthatyoudo
canibeyourdate?
canibeyourdate?
canibeyourdate?
canibeyourdate?
pleeze?
yesyesyesyesyesyes
YAY!!
Oy wins? I’d call shenanigans(not her the original kind) but I doubt it would do any good.
Congrats, Oy! Maybe sees you at Friday’s. We can discuss your attire (or lack thereof).
thanks for the ticket, oy. sorry I bailed early. Looks like everyone enjoyed the back room hawtness. certainly something for the gossip books. reputations were established, solidified and destroyed back there. woot.
Hi MC So nice talking with you. Thanks for being there. OK goodbye
mc, jealous of you being oy’s date!
*sigh*
B-yo! I totally said hi and bye and brought people! Newbies, and locals to boot. They loved it.
Yes you did! I was stoked about that.
I was just sighing cause I missed the bondage party. It looked fancy!
It was fancy. I couldn’t believe people showed up in such numbers.
oh sorry…
LICK MY BOOT YE SCURVY HORDES!
I don’t have scurvy, I’m eating limes. :p
/one tequila two tequila three tequila floor.
Is that what the Banana Splits are saying? I never knew.
BOOT!
Just what kind of boots are you wearing? Pics plz. kthxbai
Bitch Birth
A long long time ago
In a heaven not so far away.
A Bitch fell off Yggdrasil
Bonking the ‘bellum of Yahweh
“Ow!” said Gee Dash Dee
“I’m gonna eat this nut!”
“Do it and I’ll spit in your mouth!
Then put my heel in your gut.”
Yahweh flashed his twitchy tail
That flurry, fluffy attachment,
Saying “Thou art born to rule males
And give their butts harrassment.
“But,” noticed Gee Dash Dee,
“Your heel’s too round to reign.
I sooo want you to be nasty
And bring my enemies pain.
“Get thee to a gunnery, go!
Craft your gear from leather and spike.
Your quest is to crush that slatternly ho
My nemesis, the Unvanquishable Nike.”
Its like dungeons and dragons meets ren faire meets hot topic
Bitch Begins
The Unvanquishable Nike twittered a twit
Then exploded in a guffaw!
“These commands from Yahweh tickle me
I’m his most favored scofflaw.”
She crumpled the mandate into a ball
And turned it into a mango
The drips that from Her Vesuvius lips did fall
Became the Waltz and Tango
The Waltz tango’ed down Her magnificent front
Over iceberg breasts past Her canyon cunt
The Tango waltzed down Her colossus back
Over tectonic scapulae and through the valley of Her crack
For a fortnight they descended Her redwood halves
Over cellulite dunes and granite-faced calves
When Waltz and Tango reached Her roots
They dansformed into Her left and right Boots.
Higher than a mountain were each heel
The laces, slithering mile-long eels.
Rising from Her snack, the faintest shimmer caught Nike’s eye
“Could that be an ant or flea, climbing up my thigh?”
Abseiling toward Her on the razor-wire stitch,
Whip in mouth, was our own defiant Bitch.
I want to put music to these, Bitch, but you’ll have to sing ‘em.
The Waltz tango’ed down Her magnificent front
Over iceberg breasts past Her canyon cunt
Im pretty sure you bit this from Lawrence Welk
/wunnerful wunnerful… and now bob-by anda su-sy with a little number about her cunt…
Bitch Bite
From betwixt the plump patches bulging through each mesh
Bitch admired the teethmarks upon Nike’s fishnetted flesh.
Nike looked up at Bitch and said “Googolgo”
“Wait,” said Bitch. “Let me remove my toe.”
“I love you,” said Nike, spitting out toe jam.
Bitch raised up her paddle. “Sorry!…I love you MA’AM.
Since the birth of time I’ve never been defeated.
Now I’m face down, ass up, my juices depleted.
I’m yours till Time’s death. Name me your price.”
Bitch said, “Them fly-ass leather boots would be nice.”
The 2 seconds for which Nike balked
Would prove to be a bad move
For over Nike’s back Bitch walked
Wearing the Boots Nike feared to lose.
“I’ll let you have them!” Nike pleaded, anguished
“If you tell no human their Nike was vanquished.”
“Saucy little sub,” seethed Bitch, irate
“We both know that bottoms don’t negotiate!”
Bitch raised her paddle high
Beyond Nike’s palace, beyond the sky
Then rode Nike’s ass like it was a used Hyundai
And all humans heard it at 2am last Sunday.
Bravo! Encore!
The safe word is “bananas”. As in, you are “bananas”.
My shit is bananas
E A T I T U P
I said
My shit is bananas
E A T I T U P
It’s amazing how quickly I went from intrigued to disgusted.
/over it