Well, we got the hat tip and apparently, Orbits new owners plan to upgrade the space that formally held Orbits into a “Gourmet Burger Restaurant.” Ooo, sounds sweet, but will it work on the Corner?
Maybe you’ve heard of some of the hot chains out there like “NYC Burger Co.,” “The Counter” or “Pop Burger.” It’s all the rage right now.
J.R., one of the new owners wanted to let cVillains know that they are holding a naming contest for the burger joint AND there is a $500 award to the person that names it!
Please submit name ideas to: namethenewplace@gmail.com
Oh, and after you submit the ideas, come back here and let us know what you submitted!
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Popularity: 28% [?]
Tagged as: Burger, Charlottesville, Corner, high end, joint, orbits, UVA
name it “I Don’t Care”
“Where do you want to go to eat tonight, honey?”
“Oh, I don’t care”
Every passive/aggressive couple out there will be eating there every night
Myocardial Infarctions-R-US
The Roadhouse Grille, The Cat’s Pajamas, Eat Our Meat, Meat Me Here, Nice to Meat Ewe, The Roadkill Grill and Retro Emporium of Sweaty Chow, The Republic of Eat More, Where’s The Beef?, Mom’s House of Finicky Eaters, Eat Here Or We’ll Shoot This Dog, B Yo’s Green Bean & Napkin Casserole Experience, Cow Tippers & Donkey Punchers, I Need More Coffee Or A Long Nap.
How about “How Much for a Fucking Burger?”
Big Kahuna Burger, George Foreman’s Fatty Leftovers, The Grease Pit, The Left-handed Spatula, The Bacon Stretcher, The Grill Key, The Big House, Bjork’s Bjig Bjurgers.
the Ground Cow
Southfork
Ruddfucker’s
@ 6 How Now Ground Cow?
You’ve Gotta Ketchup If You Want To Cut The Mustard At The Mayo Clinic.
/I relish the thought
Scowly’s Sleazery. The Lard Bucket. Obesity’s Overkill Grill. Fathead’s. Lardass’s Lounge. Heartattack Heaven. The Coronary Cafe’.
The Greasy Chin
/May offend an ethnic demographic?
Big Jim’s
Furburgers
@ 13 Big Jim Slade!
Meat Puck?
Throbbing Gristle, Mr. Myagi’s Mojomuscular Madhouse Of Meat, Ellie’s Epicurean Eats, Victor’s Veisalgia Vaccine.
Five Guys
3 Guys Short
My efforts for $500:
Tasty Burger
Steak Shack
US Bar and Grill
Steak and Fries
Why
/I always hear guys saying they got to eat at The Why but it’s not in the Yellow Pages
// sorry
@ 15 - aaand milk just shot out of my nose. thanks.
street, that’s waaay too many meat jokes for this early in the morning. oh go on, just say it…
/counting down the hours until the tequila oblivion
Captain Jack’s Sea Villain Barrrr
The Rotunda
Gourmet White Trash Favorites
@23 Or my favorite variation on that: The Scrotunda
/will spare you the graphic of that, but its upcoming on a t-shirt.
Murder on a Bun
Green’s Soylent Buffet
Death by Cholesterol
Most of America Is Fat. You Should Be, Too.
Slaughterhouse 5 Guys?
The Abbatoir?
Ground up God’s Chillun’ and Cheese?
I like where nanigan’s is going with this. It appeals to my inner caveman.
“Its Glandular!”
Spatulastic Mastication
The Barber of C-Ville?
How bout the Cavalier Diner…. Used to be a place up on the corner for many years called that… Why not again?
Man that looks like a tasty freaking burger in the photo. Where is that burger joint? I could be a vegetarian except I’ve got to have a burger at least once every 11 days. Do you guys ever watch Diners, Drive Ins and Dives on the Food Network? They have some really cool places to eat… Tivo that show if you like that kind of shit…
How bout the Cavalier Diner….
How about “Popped Collars & Daddy’s Dollars Cafe”
Chuckle Bucket
Gristles & Bits
/can you feel the love?
Think inside My Bun
Lymph Node Junction
personally, i’m fond of Mounds and Slabs.
Clown Feast
Burger on a Stick
The Meat Nugget
Cancer Cures Everything
Fatty Patty
Its Three AM & We Know You’ll Eat Anything, You Drunk Bastard
CVS
Satellite Burger Room
Butcher Baby
The Impacted Colon
The Calf & Cankle
Steered Wrong
The Muncherian Candidate
American Picnic
Notawhopper’s
The Cowlick
Scary Larry’s
Broiled & Confused
A View to a Grill
Count Bessie’s
CBC - Charlottesville Burger Company
Corner Bites
Fatty Patty <- my favorite.. you can do irish theme!
DIY Burger
Burgers R’ US
The Joint
/pot joke
Slurp & Burp, Hog ‘n Heave, Hindu Hideout, Half-Fast Burgers, Road Kill Cafe
/pot joke
Really? Thanks for clearing that up.
The Marijuana
/pot joke
Those stoners are going to name it the Joint. For realsy.
How about, “High End Burger Joint” I mean just come out and say what it is. No questions there.
The tentative name for the place is The Joint, but they are open to finding something better.
A few off the cuff:
Hoo-for-ia
The Burger Jerk
Brewburgers
Poe’s
Under The Table and Eating
Or just stick with “The Joint” and just give me $500. Just sayin’
What? I get the $$. I guessed what they were going to name it.
@46, you can have both dollar signs, i just want cash.
Under The Table and Eating <—- Please. For the love of god, no.
Sunny & Char
Broil Change
Asspony’s Café
Bistro Ganoff
Beast Feast
Lim Burger’s
Beef Spleef
Grill-n-Fill
Chubby Chum’s
The Gaping Maw
Mad Cow Cafe’
Grill on the Cornerl
Hungry Heffer’s
The Hoo’s Joint
The TJ Guys
@48: You Bistro Ganoff all the time!
Gotta go with the trendy one word name. I’m thinking simply “meat” (and in must be in all lowercase). Naming it “buns” would give it sexy edge.
How ’bout
The Hefferson
The Moo Hoo
/HoMo?
The Corner Burger Company
14th Street Burgers
Blue Ridge Burgers
Cow Patty Slap
Beef the Thief
Cowism
Beefism
Beef Lips
Hot Beef Injection
I’d go with mmmm Burger, but that may just be because I’m hungry right now.
Dimmu Burger…. duh!
tartare: any which way
tartare on a bun
/couldn’t resist keepin it alive
@46: c-ville weekly told us that it was going to be called “the joint” last month… in their “zip it” issue (apr 4)
/no $ for you
Yeah, I don’t read C-VILLE much, I just figured that was an appropriate name since the owners like to smoke up.
couldn’t resist keepin it alive
Yay! However, if the burgers are served with Norse water, I, for one, will not. be. going. back. EVAR!
that was an appropriate name since the owners like to smoke
And, whether true or not, I am sure they are very excited about you repeatedly mentioning that. Was it not you that was foaming about libel a month or so ago? Just sayin…
Nice, shenanigans. It is, of course, your job to broadcast everyone’s vices.
The Pornographic Patty Palace
Boot
The Omnivore
Mr. Nibbles
Charlottesville Very Stoned/or?Starving
CVS
………..
/POT JOKE!
//and reference to CVS coming to the corner and leaving little venue-ability for this town, i mean city.?!…
///duh.
not to be nitpicky or a jerk, but
“orbit.”
“orbit.”
it’s also “rapture.” “zocalo.” “blue light.” “escafe.” “maya.” “mono loco.” etc. i believe the only place in town that gets a possesive s at the end is miller’s. i may be wrong about that, but i am correct with the rest.
/R.I.P. Orbit.
//don’t understand why s’ess get added. but i met another buffalo bill fan last night and that is a good thing.
Burg Her
brown chicken brown cow.
//the two funkiest animals on the farm…
Oh, and ff pees in the shower.
peeing in the shower saves water.
go ff!
/it does.
//not that i’ve thought about it or anything.
@67 - I thought she came with you?
Actually, I just drink it which results in an unending loop.
Magnolia Thunder Pussy’s
A name from the pass in San Fransico about 1960’s . Was an adult porno soda fountion shop.
Purple Elastic Thunder Fuck
/an actual shot
@73 that’s smart, making it possessive like miller’s. scoriole should like that.
A name from the pass in San Fransico
What pass? Altamont?
@51 I like the lower-case “meat” idea. One word and lower case really is the trendy thing in restaurants these days. I almost had brunch at a place in North Carolina this past weekend called “egg.”
@74 Shen, I’m positive I’ve had one of those shots (or a varient; I didn’t remember “elastic” in the title), but it was ages back. Like, at least 10 years ago at either Escafe or Moondance. What’s in it?
Meat Meet Mouth aka Mmm…
Mmm is awesome!
just call it “m.” with a period. if you leave off the period you miss the whole point.
eh?
shut the fuck up parlie.
Talking to yourself again Parlie?
@68-It’s bow chica brown cow…hello? J/K, I love that joke by the way.
no i’m actually six total strangers, forced to live together on the internet. find out what happens when parlie stops being polite, and starts getting real!
Your real-ness frightens me, parlie.
Please go back to being fake, you towel.
/kthxbai
@72 like the Jet record?
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/38853-shine-on
NSFW (or so they say)
Fat Girls’ Grill
Burger Queen
Virginia’s Best Burgers
Angus and Agnes
i ditto ditto’s. those were pretty gud.
hey, @86! what does NSFW me–
oh my god. it means that.
parlie, for you it means Not So Fast, Wiseass. (at least for one of the parlies — I can’t tell them apart)
> 34 shenanigans said:
> Think inside My Bun
There are a lot of really funny burger-joint names here, but this made me laugh a lot. It’s obscene, yet intellectual. Inviting, yet seriously off-putting.
Stupid, yet very not stupid.
someone’s got a crush. yay for nanigans: lining em up, shooting em down.
@32 Thurston, Cavalier Diner had the best fries…..mmmm. That’s old school, we must know each other.
The J&A (assuming it’s John and Andrew in charge? Pretty fucking catchy)
Tatemp (yuppie name that would refer to burgers being cooked “to
temperature” — pretty fitting considering the names of some other places
around here, and that if it’s gourmet, you guys will know how to cook to temperature)
Charlottesburger (cute name that would refer to the couple of people I know who call our town “Charlottesburg”)
They should call it The Olympia Cafe, which is name of a burger joint in a certain Saturday Night Live skit.
/cheeseburger cheeseburger pepsi pepsi
The Upstairs, love that name, let’s use it for every second floor establishment!
The Burger Joint
The Corner Burger
Burger Bar
The Crusty Crab
By the way I have copyrighted every name on this thread, hereby securing every possible name for a burger joint in the FUTURE OF MANKIND.
Does MANKIND have a FUTURE; if so, does it include burgers and burghers? That’s both a name for the joint and the beginning of Free for All 6.0.
@77: I’d tell you but that would involve googling that name, which might raise some eyebrows in IT
@90: Thanks, I have my moments. So, you lurk here often? You can flirt with me if you’re not married.
@94. i vote yea.
/as long as no one calls it olympiaS cafeS
@94 The Olympia Cafe was based on the the Billy Goat Tavern on N. Michigan Ave in Chicago,
I believe it’s still there
In and Out Burger? wait, they have stairs and no drive in… Up and Down Burger?Top Notch Burger? (from Dazed and Confused it was on last night)
Krusty Burger?
Bad Knuckle
/arthritic joke
purple elastic thunder fuck
@101- Up and Out Burger. They can leave a 2nd floor window open.
(Actually, do they even have In and Outs in Virginia? Never saw one here.)
@103: Thanks! Didn’t wanna google the word “fuck” at work.
How about Cow Pattie’s -the ads would have chickens saying eat more beef
Corner Burger-
University Burger- all our cows graduate with a degree in delcious-”you want pomme frites with that”
rogers and clarks- since thta big statue sits across the street they could use it as the theme
@104 no, just CA, NV, UT, & AZ
@94, 100 yes it is, & “no fries, cheeps!” totally sucks. fries are good.
how about “the grounds beef”
@103 Thanks, scoriole! And I don’t blame you Shen. Stoopid corporate net nanny. It’s always blocking me from some site it deems “tasteless.” How I’m still able to get to this site is a mystery.
I think I could get diabetes just looking at that shot. I didn’t remember it being so gawdawful sweet as it has to be!
how about “the grounds beef”
*golf clap*
Clever
@110: Oh, we’re not blocked. It’s just I had an IT guy walk into the room last week and holler my name, asking me if I would get off Myspace and stop downloading viruses. So now I’m laying low.
ThatGrrl: please post your list of “tasteless” sites. As a public service. Enquiring minds want to know about all your unfulfilled cravings.
I’ve got some sites that’ll make your eyes bleed…
/well, maybe not Jay’s, but most people’s
@113 I’m pretty sure that you’d be bored with what our net nanny deems tasteless. In general, someone will send me a link to a humor site of some sort. When I click on the link, net nanny tells me I really should consider sites more helpful to my growth as a human being, oh and that yes, we’ve logged that one, so don’t do it again. Me hates the net nanny.
@115. Let’s give your Net Nanny a virus! I’ve seen some Fat Britney Humour that would probably knock the Nanny right out of the ring.
@105- you blogged “fuck” but you don’t wanna google “fuck”? WTF? You’re still busted for fucking on the corporate network.
@117: Please post your fucking blog post already, spaces and all.
@118- Patience, shan. I’m off to the squid tank. After I get all cool and rubbery in the squid tank I’ll head for your place and you can assist me with my post.
(Ha ha, think that will throw these bloggy perves a curve?)
Use my real name again and I’m posting yers.
So, who won the contest, Burger people?
Meatheads
WHO IS THE WINNER?!?!
Why don’t you call them and find out. Gosh boys are so dumb.
No decision yet guys. We’ll let you know as soon as we order the sign and its official
welp.
just pointing out that there’s $500 floating around. presumably with none of our names on the check.
yah - Spicy Bear could probably sponsor another bondage party for that….
No, they never gave us cash, just told us that they would give $500 to the winner.
@128 lets go to the place and take up all the tables. Each table would get water and one order of fries. only one fry could be consumed every 10 minutes. Then we would leave en masse (tipping our servers the price of the fries, of course)
http://www.curbplaces.com/blog/2008/08/26/boylan-heights-opens-wednesday/
opens tonight, hopefully with an ABC license
Boylan Heights has been open for a month.
the box, however, opens tonight.
yay!!! FINALLY the box is opening!
/full report is expected!
/daaaaaaaaave!!
4Cnilorae gvie me bcak taht 4 rhigt now pseale, you konw I can’t make out anytnihg whotiut it
oh, alright then, here have your 4 back. It’s no good to me if you can’t make out without it. Cause I loves the makin’ out!