The IRS sux, but they are giving us money. Almost everyone qualified for the economic stimulus rebate. But when are they coming? Check this schedule to find out.
Stimulus Payment Schedule for Tax Returns
Received and Processed by April 15
| Direct Deposit Payments | |
| If the last two digits of your Social Security number are: | Your economic stimulus payment deposit should be sent to your bank account by: |
| 00 – 20 | May 2 |
| 21 – 75 | May 9 |
| 76 – 99 | May 16 |
| Paper Check | |
| If the last two digits of your Social Security number are: | Your check should be in the mail by: |
| 00 – 09 | May 16 |
| 10 – 18 | May 23 |
| 19 – 25 | May 30 |
| 26 – 38 | June 6 |
| 39 – 51 | June 13 |
| 52 – 63 | June 20 |
| 64 – 75 | June 27 |
| 76 – 87 | July 4 |
| 88 – 99 | July 11 |
http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=180247,00.html
Good times are here, my friends. And none too soon, I’m starving. I’m gonna buy myself a shirt made of gold that says, “remember what W did for you”. What are you gonna spend your rebate on?
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Tagged as: Date, Government, irs, money, rebate, returns, spend, tax
I already got mine. There’s nothing like checking your balance and finding an extra $600.
I think mine is going to go here:
http://www.barackobama.com/splash/donate/donate.html
My SS# falls into the first group and my $600 was sitting in my account on April 28th.
Hooligan, that is awesome. stimulate a new economic policy!
i got mine on friday. it was going to towards a pair of skis, but it will have to end up in my “pay for plane tickets to moscow” fund.
careful on the political commentary!
Shut your mouth when you are talking to us! We do what we want. Let’em talk!
FEDERALISTS ARE STUPID
@5: you’ve gotta be kidding me.
@6: you rock
I know that it’s the opposite of what the checks are meant for, but mine is going right into my IRA. Screw stimulating the economy now, I need savings!!
@8 Thank you.
@9 I am doing the exact same thing. My savings account will thank me and the government will just have to rely on frivolous people to help out the economy…we certainly have enough of them.
@ 2: If I got one, mine would have gone to the same place. Unfortunately the IRS apparently decided I don’t need $600
Nothing quite like a forced loan from the feds. to make ya wanna save scream, cause they’re just gonna take it back next April 15. May as well save it. I’m waiting for the Gladiator Games and free bread.
With plans like these to cut taxes, who wouldn’t want to vote for McCain?
@13 it’s really his plan to save us a whole thirteen cents on gas that does it for me!
/p. 28
There should be an upper age limit for presidential candidates. How old is McCheese, anyways?
At this point, I would take any gas savings I could get.
Have you actually started the paper or are you still writing fluff?
We should be getting around $1300 and ours is going straight to bills. We were hoping to get a high def tv, but bills come first. Like others said, screw the economy, I’m sure many others will be able to use it as it was intended, but I think the majority of those eligible are going to find that money is a bit tight right now and bills or savings is a more responsible option for their family.
Economic Stimulus Rebate = Masturbation. Webster defines masturbation as stimulating one’s own self for gratification. In this case, YOUR money is being used to stimulate you. So if spending your stimulus rebate excites you there is no doubt that you are masturbating. You will grow hair on the palms of your hands and you will go to Hell. (Say “Hey” to George and all those congressmen and senators who feed your vices.)
The way I see it, the government constantly wastes our money with pork-barrel spending. It’s about time they gave me a chance to waste some of my money as I see fit.
if masturbation is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!!!!
y’all keep talking about what this money was “intended” to do, but stimulating the economy seems a pretty simplistic reading.
/4 pgs (in 4 hours) are real. that means i should finish by closing if i don’t stop for meals.
It’s all bread and circuses. Political sleight of hand.
Jay has convinced me - I’m going to make a political protest. My rebate is going to fulfill the symbology. I’m gonna spend my $600 on porn, mink gloves and paper towels.
/I’ll be in my bunk. For a long time.
You like food too much to skip a meal. All someone has to do is mention Aromas and you’ll stop for food.
@19- Problem is, even if you only let the government “hold your $1 for just a minute, please, please just let me touch it!” before they give it back to you, you’re probably only gonna get back 20 cents. The government will “redistribute” half your money, and they’ll spend most of the rest of it on “administration” of the rebate program.
If you want to spend your money as you see fit then the LAST thing you want to do is let the government hold your money, even for a minute.
I love the government
@23 that was mean. it’s too far away; i’m stuck with crappy pizza.
Sorry, but it was way too easy.
@22 oy vey! Be sure the minks were killed humanely. And don’t you think you should use environmentally friendly natural fibre cloth nappies? Use of paper towels for masturbatory purposes is tantamount to Raping the Earth! I think. It’s all so confusing…
That’s what she said.
gah. Way to ruin my timing, Jay.
Here is an interesting look at government spending if anyone is interested..
http://services.alphaworks.ibm.com/manyeyes/view/SGXXRFsOtha6Dvn3Fg1SG2~
@31-Thunder Bear: That “Many Eyes” thingee is v. kewl!
Thor that is your idea of interesting?! We need to let you out of the basement more.
I like my basement
@33- Hey, lay off the Thunder Boy. He found me something that’s actually useful.
@28 - sorry if I implied that the mink would be dead. I prefer live mink. Let them do all the work….
maybe I’ll just forgo towels of any sort and just buy mink shampoo
/is animal shampoo tested on animals?
you’re an animal
you are what you eat
@36, you scary. Have you ever SEEN a live mink. Rip you to shreds, they will.
(OK, I think I’m done here for the day. I can’t believe we’re actually discussing Masturbation with Live Minks.)
definately done for the day - even *my* bean burrito is sitting a little heavy after this convo
/not a euphamism
@39 if the mink is alive & doing all the work, that’s no longer masturbation.
it is if the mink is blindfolded
/no, I don’t know what that means either
@38 That would make me a kumquat. nummy.
Orchid!! Get to work! Chatting up the Mink Masturbator won’t get you anywhere. Won’t get your paper writ either…
@44 it won’t? :’(
The depends. What are you writing about, orchid?
@2
Haha, what a dumb idea. Give money to the guy that will take more of your money later.
zing!
My check won’t be mailed until July 4. Can I borrow $600 so that I can start stimulating the economy now?
I have not yet gotten my direct deposit despite having a SS# that allegedly should have gotten me my check by May 9. Anyone else?
I fall into the May 9 category and I got it on the 9th.
okay folks.not only is this whole thing a joke and stupid( why not svae the cost of processing the paperwork, etc, but adding it to your refund or deducting it from your amount due- but Where Is The Money Coming From?!
- oh wait! that would be us.
i still say don’t spend a dime on anything that can be taxed.
@50 - Dave, did you use TurboTax to file your taxes? They did something weird, and many people who filed will be getting a paper check instead of a direct deposit (I’m in the same boat, too).
@53 I used TurboTax to file and my refund was directed deposited right on schedule
@50, 53: If you used TurboTax, and had them use your refund to pay the efile fee, then you get a paper check. If youpaid the efile fee with a credit card or bank account, you get a direct deposit.
*direct deposited
Used turbo tax. Got stimulated to economic orgasm by GW’s package via direct deposit. Easy peasy.
“stimulated to economic orgasm via direct deposit”
must……….resist……….obvious…….jokes……..
Anyone do paper checks? The IRS sent me a letter saying my check would be here by May 23, and still nothing (granted, mail hasn’t been delivered since Friday). Knowing how my mailhuman constantly leaves my mail in neighbor’s boxes it’s probably MIA. Or maybe they ran out of money on all you first rounders and direct depositors…
Buzzkill’d.
First of all, nice to see you icenine… come to the next party, yeah? Also, I thought I did direct deposit but since that hasn’t happened, so I guess I’ll get a check. Unfortunately mine isn’t due for a few weeks according to the chart. bummer. I’ll be stimulating the airlines just as soon as I gets my money.
Hey mc! Yeah, sorry I missed the space out…guess it wasn’t in the cards for me, but I promise to make it to the next charitable bash. Very sweetly (as if a gift from some type of god [Thor maybe?]) I got my check yesterday and celebrated with pints at SS. Sweet economic stimulation…it’s enough to make you blush…