There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy… He was nothin’ like me or you,
’cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat in the cellar…sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.
But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
and the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.
Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn’t remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.
Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat…lived high up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. “Well, hell!” says Roy, “I’m a healthy boy, and I’ll crawl or climb or fly,
Till I find that guru who’ll give me the clue as to what’s the perfect high.”
So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff…back down again he’d slide . . .
He’d sit and cry, then climb some more, pursuing the perfect high.
Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.
“What’s happenin’, Fats?” says Roy with joy, “I’ve come to state my biz . . .
I hear you’re hip to the perfect trip… Please tell me what it is. “For you can see,” says Roy to he, “I’m about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?”
“Well, dog my cats!” says Baba Fats. “Another burned out soul, Who’s lookin’ for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn’t in a dealer’s stash, or on a druggist’s shelf… Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself.”
“Why, you jive mother-fucker!” says Roy, “I climbed through rain and sleet,
I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet! I braved the lair of the polar bear, I’ve tasted the maggot’s kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?
My ears, before they froze off,” says Roy, “had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn’t climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn’t climb up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I’ll kill your guru ass!”
“Okay…okay,” says Baba Fats, “You’re forcin’ it outta me… There is a land beyond the sun that’s known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil’s garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.
Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave…hits like the blazin’ sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don’t never come.
But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high, And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea, There’s a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu tree.”
“Well, to hell with your witches and giants,” says Roy, “To hell with the beasts of the sea–
Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms for me.”
And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursuing the perfect high.
“Well, that is that,” says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. “Yes, Lord, it’s always the same…old men or bright-eyed youth… It’s always easier to sell ‘em some shit than it is to tell them the truth.”
but being serious for second… twitter? TWIT-TER? say it out loud to yourself. now go look in the mirror, go look what you’ve become. say twitter to the mirror.
gaaah. Why’d you guys let me pass out with my shoes on? I look like a technicolor rainbow. Silly drunk sleeping friends. I’ll have my revenge. Where’s the sharpie?
… my dog caught a little baby groundhog last night. Not sure if she really killed it, but she sure was swinging it around the yard.. It was dead when I took it from her. Cute, though.
I have often considered the fact that the abbreviation for my name here translates to “Bring Your Own”. I guess that means that there are all kinds of drinks named after me! Well, that, or I am not welcome in most bars…
@48 hahahaha you xeroxed/scanned your butt. I didn’t see that at first but wondered why you legs looked black. How in the world did you get away that during the middle of the day?
That is old school cool and it’s not even the xmas party!
Sorry, just blurted that out without thinking. I forgot for a minute there that I’m not allowed to talk about your ass or lack thereof. Most humble apologies to your penguins shenza-san.
@14 Yes, I noticed the change in the housing list because I have been checking it obsessively trying to find a good place to live near downtown. If any Villains out there have rooms for rent within a reasonable distance to the mall, let me know, I need to get away from UVA kids and their immature buffoonery. I need some old fashioned, mature buffoonery in my life.
If you are wearing animal underwear today, it is your duty to go into the bathroom and camera phone your ass and post it here. It would be un-american not to.
a cookie isn’t needed just a something interesting from you- yes you did already show us shen hiney but I’m willing to up the ante with frontage. (to be honest it was easier to take that photo any way)
Am I getting hit up for cyber-sex or are we suddenly in the middle of a game of Truth-or-Dare? Forget it, Deets, nobody wants to see a photo of your crotch.
@70 it’s not crotch and I wasn’t looking for cyber- that would be silly and stupid. I didn’t even start this. I was just trying to take the tedium out of an otherwise mind numbing Friday
The moose from the fine folks at Joe Boxer. As you asked for with nothing else expected.
Just replace the “http://” with the site where the pictures lives.
You can use tinypics.com for example to post the picture for free.
If you use firefox you can right click and hit view image.That gives you a link to the pic you want and nothing else.
This is called hotlinking and is frowned upon by some.
Replace the word link with your very own label and the (new window) is optional and doesn’t even have to be used.
Damn I tried to show you the link it it got messed up. If you post it to tinypics.com they will give you the html code you need after you upload the photo. Try that
@112 class 6 is the name of very dangerous rapids that come when the river swells it’s banks from an overabundance of natural flow or a dam release. You can ride those rapids with Class IV River runners in WVA. They know how to show a girl a good time
Anybody else up at this time of night? I just got home after a disastrous night and am now eating 1/2 of a $3.00 marked-down Kroger cherry pie (1480 calories, if anyones counting) and drinking a beer.
I used to turn out the lights and put the blog to bed on a regular basis, but haven’t been doing so for a while now, has anyone taken my place? Does anyone care?
In many industries, the new person at work is often sent out on “Gopher Missions” to find objects that don’t exist, like Liquid Neon Refills. Have you ever been sent on one of these missions? If so, what were you sent to get?
Liquid Magnets
Up on the top shelf in the back room, you will find a small jar of Liquid Magnets. I find it works better than glue for holding pieces of metal together.
Staple gun attachments
Also could you bring me the staple gun, but I don’t need the staples, get the thumb tack and paper clip attachments, which work with the staple gun, out if that large closet downstairs.
Board stretcher
For those times when your boards aren’t quite long enough.
Bacon stretcher
Especially useful on camp outs when the food supply gets low.
Dehydrated water
One kid actually searched for a half hour and came back saying that we must be out of it.
Wire straightener
Needed when you don’t want the rushing electrons to weaken the wire at sharp bends and kinks; they might begin to leak out of the wire at the weak points causing untold losses
Striped paint
Be sure to get the white paint with the black stripes and not the black paint with white stripes.
Clock reverser
A clock reverser for clocks that begin to run counter clockwise also used for sun dials that have gotten out of adjustment
Thermal battery
The thermal battery stores cold, to be used when the air conditioning goes out.
i was walking up garrett street to my car - away from the mall, towards the dead end where that road whose name i can never remember connects to monticello - and was passed by a car who, after passing, turned off its headlights, turned around, drove back in my direction, and at entirely too close proximity paused to unload four or five bullets into someone/something, and silently drove away, lights still off. i got in my car and got the f&@! out of there, just as the cops were pulling up (also without lights on).
caroline: they came independent of me, and i didn’t even think to tell them anything. i just wanted outta there. and i was extracting myself from a bit of a situation as it was- buddy and i parted ways, as it were. hey, i used to stumble around alone in russia after vodka benders and managed to make it out in one piece.
stupid, i know. but i won’t park over there again anytime soon.
@135: I had a run in with the cops Friday night too. Apparently you’re not allowed to be stumbling drunk in the middle of Market Street. Talked my way out of a ticket though.
Just got back from Nelson and apparently they are getting a new microbrewery (Devil’s Backbone), another winery (Democracy Winery) and the Virginia Distillery Company. Devil’s Backbone is being built next to the Ski Barn by Wintergreen and is supposed to open this fall. Has anyone heard anything about the other 2?
Good night everyone, clearly its been slower here on the blog than irl for some of us this weekend. Can I say a big THANK YOU to Shenanigans for Sunday? I think I will.
At various times everything that could go wrong did… and it still turned out ok. I guess there’s something to be said about that.
The rest of you who I haven’t seen in forever, and one of you in particular, are much missed, and we’ll see if I can’t do something about that in the next couple of days.
@121: “Lilith would have never let this happen”…and that’s our new joke. Must be said in whiny mocking voice.
@128: That was a BAD night to be drunkenly bellowing my name. I’m sorry I threw your credit card at you and told you to get the fuck out. On the upside, you got all your drinks for free. Wee!
@147: I heard that gunshot too from 4th st!
@151: Yer welcome.
@153: I probably deserved it, but like I said, I don’t remember anything after the tequila shot. Sorry again. All in all, Friday was a pretty terrible night, but it was made up for Saturday when I got dinner and all my drinks for free.
@144: Yes, those were my X-mas panties.
Hey, did you hear that hot chick Sarah who used to work at Kiki and Cassis is no longer bartending? All the boys of C-ville should start crying now. Lament away.
And the wine, and the beer, and the tequila, and the white russian (which was the highlight of the night). I think I may retire from Friday drinking. I always end up in trouble.
I’m not entirely sure, but I know it had something to do with only being half a block from my front door. I remember telling them where I lived, and that it would be better if I just went home and got in bed. They told me if I took one step passed the door I pointed at, they would arrest me.
@159: Dude, you were so lucky!
@160: Um, you’re not supposed to say the real names of cVillains but you can name people around town if you are talking about them.
I am a home bound harvester of various collected low hanging grey fruit. Liquid discaution flows in through my mouth and out through my veins as I cast my hook too far into the foaming data sea and catch the meaty flesh and blood of a thousand internet organs. I do not exist in any other container, be it boxed or bagged. I foment the figments and refractedly reflect the darkest photon fears back upon the children of this sinister garden. My arms are exhausted from trying to pull the sky into the bottom of the well, but my sleep will never come. So I sit in the puddles of the gutter and stare into the night sky with stomach empty, heart full and eyes so, so dry. That which is torn apart will only come back as an unsolvable puzzle. It is better that way, and so the bits get wrapped in a towel and thrown at the ideological harbingers of mediocrity with reckless abandon. Fuck your linear thoughts, for they betray you.
/sorry, thought this joint could use a little crazy, you know, spice things up a bit.
Glad I could help. If we are at quota, then I will rein it in a little.
I know I will go back to discussing which bar has the “hottest” tenders, because you know, that is really, really interesting. And stuff. In fact, I haven’t had such an interesting and engaging discussion since high school. Seriously. Awesome.
Hottest! Who will win? I hope they’ll sign my yearbook… Gah! Im so engaged! The suspense! I might die!
Hey B-yo, **********************************************. Oh wait, that wasn’t clever or funny, so I edited it. you are such a *************************** though.
gobbler just told me that his company is going to let him upgrade to IE7 (welcome to 6% of the internet, btw). maybe if he’s good they’ll move him out of his playpen and let him wear bigboy pants without rubber undies.
gobbler is a literary magnate. let the games begone.
are you the homeless guy in the woods who’s trying to kill me? good career move, getting that tattoo on your face. maybe if you’d kept it below the neck you wouldn’t have to eat my rhododendron to stay alive.
hey gobbler, you want to get together and personally attack odie, instead of each other? when we finish him off we can go back to wrangling over who gets to eat my leftover bottle caps, you or the goat.
hey shenanigans, i didn’t see you there. we were having a fight club and then you walked in talking about soft tender human emotions… but love don’t keep the lights on sweetie, so watch as i kick gobbler right in his golden mullet and then use the frame-by-frame replay to crush this website’s servers under a chinese GDP’s worth of advertising.
street: @127: best “gopher mission” i’ve heard of is ” hey! we need to get all the old air out of the walk-in, use this garbage bag and take it out back”. it only took the n00b and hour:).
@140: thanks, next time i’ll think about the swirlies.
did i miss the parlie show? i’m not certain if it is the same duration as the parlie hour. but then i’m not sure how long a parlie hour is, either.
/is there a set amount of measurable time for any of this?
BYo… are you ‘tired and emotional’ or did you fall face first onto a fifth of naughty juice? Lilith was a total dominatrix and would have kicked 10 asses today.
Alright bitches. I very well know there is very little love for electronic music on this here board (as there is not enough banjo, and other appalachian indie retro ingredients), but whatever. I drank a half of bottle of tequila and made this mix. I offer it to you villains who may be looking for something to listen to while on the fecking treadmill or eliptical or whatever you healthy bitches utilize to stay hotter than me. Me? I cut myself the ironman goatee, and… you don’t even know. Anyway, I have not listened to it yet myself. If it passes muster, I will release it on the international blogosphere after post production. Otherwise this is it, and all it should ever be. I know you could care less, but here is the tracklist…
01 GetDown_Again In 2008__Falko Niestolik DaBump mix
02 Carbon+(John+Jacobsen+Remix).
03 Surrender Me (Wayne G and Andy Allder London Calling club mix)
04 Madonna-Give It 2 (Paul Oakenfold Club Mix)
05 Club Lala - Jody Van de Broder remix
06 Hagenaar_Albrecht-What Would We Do (Original Mix)
07 The Kinky Pimps-Out Of Hell (Mahjong vocal mix)
08 Bimbo Jones - And I Try (original mix)
09 Ministers De La Funk - Believe (Lys Supavocal Mix)
10 My my my armand van helden - (2006 semi d remix)
11 Better Off Alone - Alice Deejay - (Electrodirt Remix).mp3
Theme? Why yes there is! I call this “One Day”, because I downloaded all these songs today. 100 songs day, yo, my iTunes drinks your milkshake. It drinks it up. Anyway, I never ever even listened to these joints all the way through til I was drunk alone in my living room and decided to scramble them up. If you have a better name for this disco action, just lay it on me. I’m game.
Oh and, teack 8 is blowing up all kinds of charts, i bring it to cville first, as its not even been released yet. That said, track 5 should be busting that spot. Van de Broder is for teh win! That fucker is a master…
Peace out lovely creatures, i wish there was another way I could make love to you, but there are no other options… supernatural has that locked up.
Sorry bout that. It doesn’t actually “hang”, it “cues”, if that make any sense. It took about three minutes to load the link just now, but it worked. Anyway, try this link:
the “doggy daddy” link just gave me a play-it-once stream sort of deali-o, and your driveway link gave me a one track download (artist dj13, album name chopper) on my itunes.
/it would be “groovy” to have tracks…if there is a simple way to do so.
OMFG moment du jour:
Was at the gas station last night, getting gas and a six-pack o’ Blue Moon with an orange. Long-ass line for the cashier so this dude behind starts chatting me up. Harmless goofy-looking country boy/redneck whatever. Anyways, I was polite, but not too friendly to give him the wrong idea. He’s asking me where I’m from and if I like country music and do I like to have fun, etc and I give him short polite responses, just waiting for my turn at the register where I will smile, pay for my stuff, and get the the fuck out of there.
So, I get to the register finally and the cashier is still making change or something from the last customer and doesn’t get to me for a minute. Country boy walks up to my side and puts his hand on my orange saying,
“You know this kind-here ain’t got no seeds, right?”
I look down at the orange and he’s slowly stroking it, moving his thumb around the navel in suggestive circles.
My polite facade must have dropped for a moment and my face must have contorted into an “OMFG ewwww!” expression of horror without me realizing it because he suddenly steps back saying,
“I was just being friendly lady. Sorry to bother you!” and as I turn to go he mumbles loudly
“Hardcore!”
And I get the fuck out of there, not sure whether to scream or laugh my ass off.
I think he was just being too friendly and my dirty mind made it worse. I just wish I could have seen the look on my face that made him jump back and leave me alone.
Thor, you have a phone call.
Hi, hello, who is this?
This photo could only occur if my bi-polar bear plan is adopted (assist to B-yo for the name)
sorry I meant an assist to Stanley for the name
I wondered why the other penguin has a picnic basket.
It’s full of the condiments the polar bear will need after the first penguin bangs those cymbals together.
@5 pinic basket? For carrying red herrings, no doubt
That’s a purse. Hellllllooooo!
@8 it’s not a purse, it’s a european carry-all!
You know, I was wondering what that was, so I CSI’d it a bit and was shocked! Its worse than we could have imagined.
@ 10 will it couldn’t very well say sweetbreads
You must be out of the loop shenanigans… picnic baskets are the new purses… or is it purses are the new picnic baskets?
@1 - hahhahahahaha
So has anyone else noticed that craigslist changed the order on the housing list? Yes, I am obsessed with craigslist.
I heard they have Craig’s List Anonymous meetings for you types of people.
gud
The Perfect High - by Shel Silverstein
There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy… He was nothin’ like me or you,
’cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat in the cellar…sniffing airplane glue. And then he smoked banana peels, when that was the thing to do. He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, he breathed helium on the sly, and his life became an endless search to find the perfect high.
But grass just made him wanna lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
and the great things he wrote when he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.
Speed made him wanna rap all day, reds laid him too far back, Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP, he tried THC, but they never quite did the trick. Poppers nearly blew his heart, mushrooms made him sick. Acid made him see the light, but he couldn’t remember it long. Hash was a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong. Quaaludes made him stumble, booze just made him cry, Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.
Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat…lived high up in Nepal, High on a craggy mountain top, up a sheer and icy wall. “Well, hell!” says Roy, “I’m a healthy boy, and I’ll crawl or climb or fly,
Till I find that guru who’ll give me the clue as to what’s the perfect high.”
So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy, to the land that knows no time, Up a trail no man could conquer, to a cliff no man could climb. For fourteen years he climbed that cliff…back down again he’d slide . . .
He’d sit and cry, then climb some more, pursuing the perfect high.
Grinding his teeth, coughing blood, aching and shaking and weak, Starving and sore, bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak. And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in repose, and wearing no clothes, sits the god-like Baba Fats.
“What’s happenin’, Fats?” says Roy with joy, “I’ve come to state my biz . . .
I hear you’re hip to the perfect trip… Please tell me what it is. “For you can see,” says Roy to he, “I’m about to die, So for my last ride, tell me, how can I achieve the perfect high?”
“Well, dog my cats!” says Baba Fats. “Another burned out soul, Who’s lookin’ for an alchemist to turn his trip to gold. It isn’t in a dealer’s stash, or on a druggist’s shelf… Son, if you would find the perfect high, find it in yourself.”
“Why, you jive mother-fucker!” says Roy, “I climbed through rain and sleet,
I froze three fingers off my hands, and four toes off my feet! I braved the lair of the polar bear, I’ve tasted the maggot’s kiss. Now, you tell me the high is in myself? What kinda shit is this?
My ears, before they froze off,” says Roy, “had heard all kindsa crap; But I didn’t climb for fourteen years to hear your sophomore rap. And I didn’t climb up here to hear that the high is on the natch, So you tell me where the real stuff is, or I’ll kill your guru ass!”
“Okay…okay,” says Baba Fats, “You’re forcin’ it outta me… There is a land beyond the sun that’s known as Zabolee. A wretched land of stone and sand, where snakes and buzzards scream, And in this devil’s garden blooms the mystic Tzutzu tree.
Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower, as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower shall know the perfect high. For the rush comes on like a tidal wave…hits like the blazin’ sun. And the high? It lasts forever, and the down don’t never come.
But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant, who stands twelve cubits high, And with eyes of red in his hundred heads, he awaits the passer-by. And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the river of slime, Where the mucous beasts await to feast on those who journey by. And if you slay the giant and beasts, and swim the slimy sea, There’s a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards the Tzutzu tree.”
“Well, to hell with your witches and giants,” says Roy, “To hell with the beasts of the sea–
Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms, hope still blooms for me.”
And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes, he slips the guru a five, And crawls back down the mountainside, pursuing the perfect high.
“Well, that is that,” says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone, Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone. “Yes, Lord, it’s always the same…old men or bright-eyed youth… It’s always easier to sell ‘em some shit than it is to tell them the truth.”
whoa! i’m glad i didn’t read that.
i couldn’t even begin to read that. sorry,
2 sentences or less = GUD
i’ll give you something to read about.
hey caroline, you wanna have parlie hour?
i thought you’d nevah (that’s how they say it in richmond effing va) ask parlie!
geaux time!
wait… i forgot what to do.
do i play facebook, or do i make a twitter?
no silly it’s myspace first then craigslist RnR!
i twittered.
but being serious for second… twitter? TWIT-TER? say it out loud to yourself. now go look in the mirror, go look what you’ve become. say twitter to the mirror.
oh there you are, shit I was locked over in the rva thread….
twatter is better, say it TWATTER
T W A T T E R
it makes me want to beat up the internet.
love you street.
hihi lolo!
I want you all to meet my new girlfriend.
congrats tuffy, she’s awesome!
We’re still a little bit in the early stages, but between you, me, and the edges of the monitor, I think it’s lerve.
gaaah. Why’d you guys let me pass out with my shoes on? I look like a technicolor rainbow. Silly drunk sleeping friends. I’ll have my revenge. Where’s the sharpie?
I wish I had a camera so I could share the masterful artwork I did on Chris. I think I’m still drunk. Goodnight.
Wow, Tuff she seems sassy. Jesus IS a baby.
In support of this thread, I am wearing panties with little penguins on them. BTW.
Speaking of dirty fuzzy things…
… my dog caught a little baby groundhog last night. Not sure if she really killed it, but she sure was swinging it around the yard.. It was dead when I took it from her. Cute, though.
Saw this at Kroger last night:
B-Yo Bottle Bag
one time our irish wolfhound swallowed a baby bunny..whole..talk about childhood animal trauma.
I have often considered the fact that the abbreviation for my name here translates to “Bring Your Own”. I guess that means that there are all kinds of drinks named after me! Well, that, or I am not welcome in most bars…
@35 is it really that cold down there?
Hey Parlie,
Did you notice on the song, Librarian, on the new MMJ disc that Jim James uses the word, “interweb?”
I mean, I knew the guy was heady, but this is totally taking it to a new level!!!
“…walkin’ up the stairwell…to the hall of books…since we got the interweb these hardly get used…”
Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.
@40: They are dancing on my butt. It is not cold either.
@40: There’s a firecrotch joke in there somewhere.
@43 You’ve got happy feet panties or are the the Jessica Alba “Good Luck Chuck” version? (I can’t believe I just admitted watching that movie)
@44 what does fire and ice look like - under shenanigans skirt?
@45: Neither. Here’s a pic
,
@46 Nice cell phone pic, that saves me the embarrassing task of asking @ Oxo tonight.
The things I do at work when I am supposed to be working.
@47: Look again.
@48 hahahaha you xeroxed/scanned your butt. I didn’t see that at first but wondered why you legs looked black. How in the world did you get away that during the middle of the day?
That is old school cool and it’s not even the xmas party!
@47 that is so not your ass.
Au contraire Jay Jay.
Sorry, just blurted that out without thinking. I forgot for a minute there that I’m not allowed to talk about your ass or lack thereof. Most humble apologies to your penguins shenza-san.
You’re an ass.
@50 Your right it’s not my ass-mine is covered by moose boxers
I’m pretty sure you meant @46 and I would really prefer that you not talk about my ass either.
Uranus!
@14 Yes, I noticed the change in the housing list because I have been checking it obsessively trying to find a good place to live near downtown. If any Villains out there have rooms for rent within a reasonable distance to the mall, let me know, I need to get away from UVA kids and their immature buffoonery. I need some old fashioned, mature buffoonery in my life.
@54: Dude, we need a pic of the moose boxers. Stat.
@47 that might take a little doing- perhaps if I were properly motivated
oops @57
@54- sorry, wrong number. But hey, show her the moose boxers!
If you are wearing animal underwear today, it is your duty to go into the bathroom and camera phone your ass and post it here. It would be un-american not to.
@61 but I’m not american
And I’ll buy you a drink at OXO tonight.
Oytee-toytee sure does like Uranus! It’s the only thing he ever talks about.
You’re an anus.
A drink is a fine and generous offer but to be fair it should be threadworthy.
(by the way the pic has been taken and will be posted as soon as a deal is struck)
In the annals of Uranus that comment will be annually analyzed and automatically assessed as awfully assholic.
What do you want a cookie? Show us your moose already.
a cookie isn’t needed just a something interesting from you- yes you did already show us shen hiney but I’m willing to up the ante with frontage. (to be honest it was easier to take that photo any way)
Am I getting hit up for cyber-sex or are we suddenly in the middle of a game of Truth-or-Dare? Forget it, Deets, nobody wants to see a photo of your crotch.
Never fear, Dieter is here. Beware, internet pervs.
I want a dog like this. Do you think I can find one at the SPCA?
@70 it’s not crotch and I wasn’t looking for cyber- that would be silly and stupid. I didn’t even start this. I was just trying to take the tedium out of an otherwise mind numbing Friday
The moose from the fine folks at Joe Boxer. As you asked for with nothing else expected.
LOL
So… I guess I decided not to pay attention when everyone else was figuring it out…. and I can’t find the old threads about it.
Anyone want to explain how to link to images w/in wordpress for me? I don’t want to spam everyone with test comments.
Thanks!
Link (new window)
Just replace the “http://” with the site where the pictures lives.
You can use tinypics.com for example to post the picture for free.
If you use firefox you can right click and hit view image.That gives you a link to the pic you want and nothing else.
This is called hotlinking and is frowned upon by some.
Replace the word link with your very own label and the (new window) is optional and doesn’t even have to be used.
Just test it here anyway, I’m sure it’s cool.
Link in the comments or in a post you’re writing?
Comments.
Put Text
Damn I tried to show you the link it it got messed up. If you post it to tinypics.com they will give you the html code you need after you upload the photo. Try that
Fail! You have to put the
then the text you want the link to say
then a
!@#$%#$@!
It’s on this page in red
Ahh….I didn’t think it was going to be regular old html code.
Thanks!
Welcome to the Internet Donk.
What? No door prizes?
Are you linking to a photo of your undies?
Maaaaaaaaybe.
AGHHH!
J/K. That’s awesome. And the bunny is indeed an animal.
Yeah. I never claimed to be tan.
inexplicably, my bff & i used to refer to ladyparts & manparts as bunnies and puppies. hilarity ensued.
Hey O, post a pic.
now Shen what if she’s not wearing undies- we don’t want to embarrass her.
This thread is in the gutter and it’s all my fault. Weeeee!
if i was wearing undies, you couldn’t very well see my bunny, could you?
@96 ummm you do know they sell cro…… nevermind
Crap… I missed all the fun. I have taken some video just to upstage Shen and her skinny butt. I have to work hard to keep mine looking hot. Enjoy
Form an orderly line behind Stephen Dorff and Edward Norton please boys.
I’ve got to get a gift for a 3 year old, is this a good book ?
@96: Unless they were crotchless.
Dieter… I preferred the sequel…. Spank the Monkey
@101 you’re a little slow today, echo. nonbreeder beat you @97. what are you, working or something?
Oh, I didn’t see that. Yeah I’m not used to this “actually having work to do” thing.
Hey Flooze, I saw your butt in those yoga pants at the gas station. It was looking pretty tight. You cougar you.
They contain a new revolutionary product called pneumatic Spandex… that really is me in the vid. Honest. Really.
if you’re just now reading this thread, like me. do yourself a favor and don’t lick the clinks.
Lick the clinks?
That’s a Class 6 felony I’ll have you know.
@109 if lick the clinks too much perhaps you might need Class 6 river runners not a lawyer
in case you just thought “wow, CSI has a catchy theme”.
Prepare. To. Rawk. linkypoo
Dieter… I would love to fire you a witty repost, but I have no fucking idea what that last comment means. Elucidate, my little foreign friend.
@111 umm I think you linky might be poo -isn’t it this one ?
Kind of an ironic mistake
sans Keith Moon?
Surely you jest.
@112 class 6 is the name of very dangerous rapids that come when the river swells it’s banks from an overabundance of natural flow or a dam release. You can ride those rapids with Class IV River runners in WVA. They know how to show a girl a good time
nm, see what you’re saying.
Would actually have to watch CSI to worry about that mistake…
@114 better? , and don’t call me shirley!
Oooh random link time? Excellent. I’ll get on it right after I take my medication.
Roger Roger. Much better shirley.
/like gladiator movies?
Byo …. Who is his favorite singer?
.
.
.
.
.
Urethra Franklin
I leave the county for a while and come back to cvillain as Truth or Dare. I blame Thor, Lilth would never have let this happen.
Happy Birthday Silmo!!!!!! I love you ever so very!
Anybody else up at this time of night? I just got home after a disastrous night and am now eating 1/2 of a $3.00 marked-down Kroger cherry pie (1480 calories, if anyones counting) and drinking a beer.
I used to turn out the lights and put the blog to bed on a regular basis, but haven’t been doing so for a while now, has anyone taken my place? Does anyone care?
And now for something completely different: The anatomy of a Gummy Bear.
no doof, no one tucks us in anymore. It’s usually just echo and orchid making out. How was Silmo’s parteee??
I’d read the blog a bedtime story, but my stories at that hour would be drunken readings of books like Fox in Socks, and that’d be disastrous.
In many industries, the new person at work is often sent out on “Gopher Missions” to find objects that don’t exist, like Liquid Neon Refills. Have you ever been sent on one of these missions? If so, what were you sent to get?
Liquid Magnets
Up on the top shelf in the back room, you will find a small jar of Liquid Magnets. I find it works better than glue for holding pieces of metal together.
Staple gun attachments
Also could you bring me the staple gun, but I don’t need the staples, get the thumb tack and paper clip attachments, which work with the staple gun, out if that large closet downstairs.
Board stretcher
For those times when your boards aren’t quite long enough.
Bacon stretcher
Especially useful on camp outs when the food supply gets low.
Dehydrated water
One kid actually searched for a half hour and came back saying that we must be out of it.
Wire straightener
Needed when you don’t want the rushing electrons to weaken the wire at sharp bends and kinks; they might begin to leak out of the wire at the weak points causing untold losses
Striped paint
Be sure to get the white paint with the black stripes and not the black paint with white stripes.
Clock reverser
A clock reverser for clocks that begin to run counter clockwise also used for sun dials that have gotten out of adjustment
Thermal battery
The thermal battery stores cold, to be used when the air conditioning goes out.
‘nanigans, I don’t remember anything after the fantastic giant tequila shot, so if an apology is in order, I’m sorry; otherwise, thank you very much.
@128 wait a minute Shen was giving out MY boxer shot shout out! That is so wrong.
so did anyone else come within ten feet of gunfire last night, or was it just me?
buster, you can’t just leave us hangin’…..deets please!
i was walking up garrett street to my car - away from the mall, towards the dead end where that road whose name i can never remember connects to monticello - and was passed by a car who, after passing, turned off its headlights, turned around, drove back in my direction, and at entirely too close proximity paused to unload four or five bullets into someone/something, and silently drove away, lights still off. i got in my car and got the f&@! out of there, just as the cops were pulling up (also without lights on).
@132 WTF??? Did you tell the cops what you heard/saw? How long did it take the cops to respond?
@Buster didn’t we tell you to use the buddy system late night?!?!
caroline: they came independent of me, and i didn’t even think to tell them anything. i just wanted outta there. and i was extracting myself from a bit of a situation as it was- buddy and i parted ways, as it were. hey, i used to stumble around alone in russia after vodka benders and managed to make it out in one piece.
stupid, i know. but i won’t park over there again anytime soon.
I’m just glad you’re safe, buster.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
@135: I had a run in with the cops Friday night too. Apparently you’re not allowed to be stumbling drunk in the middle of Market Street. Talked my way out of a ticket though.
how many actual tears does a person have to cry until the people you are cyring them for(out of your giving a shit- at a job) stop making you cry?
/maybe i need to quit.
//maybe i won’t
Well, if they’re predators, then it’s never enough. May I suggest giving them a swirly or a blanket party?
This is cool. The artist takes the drawings of children and turns them into real-life scenes.
I swear, I thought it said Cvillain when I initially read it.
Just got back from Nelson and apparently they are getting a new microbrewery (Devil’s Backbone), another winery (Democracy Winery) and the Virginia Distillery Company. Devil’s Backbone is being built next to the Ski Barn by Wintergreen and is supposed to open this fall. Has anyone heard anything about the other 2?
read this thread a little late, but shenanigans, didn’t i buy you those undies for xmas??
thanks, street. and echo: how exactly did you pull that one off?
/glad graduation is over, but not glad to be knocked out by only one beer
@145: Pull what off?
anyone just hear that? sounded like 2 gunshots to me…maybe over towards the water st. parking gargage?
and that may have been another one, although it sounded farther east or south
heh heh heh…
LARRY ROHTER is a joke and an insult to jounalism. just saying.,… big surprise NYT. loser.
Good night everyone, clearly its been slower here on the blog than irl for some of us this weekend. Can I say a big THANK YOU to Shenanigans for Sunday? I think I will.
At various times everything that could go wrong did… and it still turned out ok. I guess there’s something to be said about that.
The rest of you who I haven’t seen in forever, and one of you in particular, are much missed, and we’ll see if I can’t do something about that in the next couple of days.
Whatever happened to Layla?
@121: “Lilith would have never let this happen”…and that’s our new joke. Must be said in whiny mocking voice.
@128: That was a BAD night to be drunkenly bellowing my name. I’m sorry I threw your credit card at you and told you to get the fuck out. On the upside, you got all your drinks for free. Wee!
@147: I heard that gunshot too from 4th st!
@151: Yer welcome.
@153: I probably deserved it, but like I said, I don’t remember anything after the tequila shot. Sorry again. All in all, Friday was a pretty terrible night, but it was made up for Saturday when I got dinner and all my drinks for free.
That happens when you chug the Firecrotch.
@144: Yes, those were my X-mas panties.
Hey, did you hear that hot chick Sarah who used to work at Kiki and Cassis is no longer bartending? All the boys of C-ville should start crying now. Lament away.
That happens when you chug the Firecrotch.
And the wine, and the beer, and the tequila, and the white russian (which was the highlight of the night). I think I may retire from Friday drinking. I always end up in trouble.
@ 145: your pants, duh…
no, kidding: what i meant was, how did you drunkenly talk your way out of a ticket?
I’m not entirely sure, but I know it had something to do with only being half a block from my front door. I remember telling them where I lived, and that it would be better if I just went home and got in bed. They told me if I took one step passed the door I pointed at, they would arrest me.
@156 I was told that using real names on cvillain was a bad thing- was I misinformed?
Since I never went to Cassis, where does everyone else think the hottest bartenders are.
I think the Bang & Oxo girls are pretty hot-
@159: Dude, you were so lucky!
@160: Um, you’re not supposed to say the real names of cVillains but you can name people around town if you are talking about them.
@161 got it, thanks- any more double secret rules I should know about?
you were not misinformed. we’re all faking our way through life so please try not to ruin it for us.
i don’t even own a computer, i blog with a ham radio.
I’m a little teapot!
Teapot, eh?
I am a home bound harvester of various collected low hanging grey fruit. Liquid discaution flows in through my mouth and out through my veins as I cast my hook too far into the foaming data sea and catch the meaty flesh and blood of a thousand internet organs. I do not exist in any other container, be it boxed or bagged. I foment the figments and refractedly reflect the darkest photon fears back upon the children of this sinister garden. My arms are exhausted from trying to pull the sky into the bottom of the well, but my sleep will never come. So I sit in the puddles of the gutter and stare into the night sky with stomach empty, heart full and eyes so, so dry. That which is torn apart will only come back as an unsolvable puzzle. It is better that way, and so the bits get wrapped in a towel and thrown at the ideological harbingers of mediocrity with reckless abandon. Fuck your linear thoughts, for they betray you.
/sorry, thought this joint could use a little crazy, you know, spice things up a bit.
A little crazy….. seriously….. a LITTLE crazy?
Crazy quota for the year - has been met
thanks for the crazification
Glad I could help. If we are at quota, then I will rein it in a little.
I know I will go back to discussing which bar has the “hottest” tenders, because you know, that is really, really interesting. And stuff. In fact, I haven’t had such an interesting and engaging discussion since high school. Seriously. Awesome.
Hottest! Who will win? I hope they’ll sign my yearbook… Gah! Im so engaged! The suspense! I might die!
/self administers 20 cc’s of thorazine.
[deleted]
actually that was a bit overboard. could you take that down, thor? Definitely was not clever or funny.
thanks.
Now Im dying to know what it said…
Thor can we get a summary or something?
Um, I didn’t really read it, but I think it was on the side of more personal attack than not.
Was ff attacking B-yo? She usually just makes passive-agressive comments about me.
Yeah, I am all for a summary. Who attacks B-yo? Seriously!
Opps! Who would attack Shen either?! We love her.
/Sorry. It’s Monday
can we attack the gobbler?
I was swiftboated? Ad hominahomina’d? What?
Yay! Spice!
Hmm. You may have actually earned the right to attack Gobbler. parlie. He is generally pretty mean to you. I say a tar and feathering at 5:30pm
wow, looks like neither oxo nor cops like zombies!
Hey B-yo, **********************************************. Oh wait, that wasn’t clever or funny, so I edited it. you are such a *************************** though.
ouch…but i deserve that
@181 That reads like a white house press release.
/mmm, redactalicious!
gobbler just told me that his company is going to let him upgrade to IE7 (welcome to 6% of the internet, btw). maybe if he’s good they’ll move him out of his playpen and let him wear bigboy pants without rubber undies.
i did it! i made a personal attack!
take that, cvillain admin, i’m causing a ruckus!
Let the games being.
First of all, Parlie, you should know that I was in your house yesterday. I hid something. Something you’ll wish you had.
No, it’s not game. or a life.
other things Parlie has that I didn’t hide….
1) drug problem
2) hundreds of stale BL’s
3) crush on Shenanigans
4) a purse - sorry, manbag
anyone else?
gobbler is a literary magnate. let the games begone.
are you the homeless guy in the woods who’s trying to kill me? good career move, getting that tattoo on your face. maybe if you’d kept it below the neck you wouldn’t have to eat my rhododendron to stay alive.
how about Parlie (or Gobbler) tell me what the fuck a Hokie is, exactly?
hey gobbler, you want to get together and personally attack odie, instead of each other? when we finish him off we can go back to wrangling over who gets to eat my leftover bottle caps, you or the goat.
odie: soviet russia, etc., you.
Towels, the lot of you.
/hat, ring, etc.
@187: It’s not a crush…it’s lurrrrrrvvvve!
hey shenanigans, i didn’t see you there. we were having a fight club and then you walked in talking about soft tender human emotions… but love don’t keep the lights on sweetie, so watch as i kick gobbler right in his golden mullet and then use the frame-by-frame replay to crush this website’s servers under a chinese GDP’s worth of advertising.
welcome to the parlie show.
I’ll hold your towel. Kick his ass!
Now THIS is a personal attack.
Poor Duke Dog…
street: @127: best “gopher mission” i’ve heard of is ” hey! we need to get all the old air out of the walk-in, use this garbage bag and take it out back”. it only took the n00b and hour:).
@140: thanks, next time i’ll think about the swirlies.
did i miss the parlie show? i’m not certain if it is the same duration as the parlie hour. but then i’m not sure how long a parlie hour is, either.
/is there a set amount of measurable time for any of this?
i’ve talked to a lot of people, and nobody seems to have any idea what i do here.
So can I still post downloadable mixes here, or is that advertorial?
/has some new stuff…
@198 post up some yummy slammin tunes- mods be damned
b’yo.. no way, we encourage artists to post links to their stuff
BYo….IMPORTANT Gmail incoming
incoming…..
C… was that a typo and you meant I’m cuming?
Hawt. Ok give me a minute…
jeez, lilith would never let this happen
/yes flooze
what the hell happened around here today, I gotta catch up. All I’ve seen is comment deleted…..
You are blasting off while posting?! Good Lord, Lilith would NEVAR EVAR let this happen.
Fuck y’all, lilith would let pretty much let anything happen. Who the hell are you?
Special treats uploading… hang tight.
BYo… are you ‘tired and emotional’ or did you fall face first onto a fifth of naughty juice? Lilith was a total dominatrix and would have kicked 10 asses today.
true, true, lilith and I made out at the C&O, she was so hott. I miss her.
@209 bullshit. can’t top the king of tops. lilith was a pussycat. nice, but no dom
anything…
@211 Whatevar
Alright bitches. I very well know there is very little love for electronic music on this here board (as there is not enough banjo, and other appalachian indie retro ingredients), but whatever. I drank a half of bottle of tequila and made this mix. I offer it to you villains who may be looking for something to listen to while on the fecking treadmill or eliptical or whatever you healthy bitches utilize to stay hotter than me. Me? I cut myself the ironman goatee, and… you don’t even know. Anyway, I have not listened to it yet myself. If it passes muster, I will release it on the international blogosphere after post production. Otherwise this is it, and all it should ever be. I know you could care less, but here is the tracklist…
01 GetDown_Again In 2008__Falko Niestolik DaBump mix
02 Carbon+(John+Jacobsen+Remix).
03 Surrender Me (Wayne G and Andy Allder London Calling club mix)
04 Madonna-Give It 2 (Paul Oakenfold Club Mix)
05 Club Lala - Jody Van de Broder remix
06 Hagenaar_Albrecht-What Would We Do (Original Mix)
07 The Kinky Pimps-Out Of Hell (Mahjong vocal mix)
08 Bimbo Jones - And I Try (original mix)
09 Ministers De La Funk - Believe (Lys Supavocal Mix)
10 My my my armand van helden - (2006 semi d remix)
11 Better Off Alone - Alice Deejay - (Electrodirt Remix).mp3
Theme? Why yes there is! I call this “One Day”, because I downloaded all these songs today. 100 songs day, yo, my iTunes drinks your milkshake. It drinks it up. Anyway, I never ever even listened to these joints all the way through til I was drunk alone in my living room and decided to scramble them up. If you have a better name for this disco action, just lay it on me. I’m game.
Linky doggy daddy? Sure: http://www.mediafire.com/?2mfxitxjsxj
Oh and, teack 8 is blowing up all kinds of charts, i bring it to cville first, as its not even been released yet. That said, track 5 should be busting that spot. Van de Broder is for teh win! That fucker is a master…
Peace out lovely creatures, i wish there was another way I could make love to you, but there are no other options… supernatural has that locked up.
/share what you love, pod ready bitches!
Jesus. Sorry for my tone. I was in sassy dj mode. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes.
This pod ready bitch cannot get her pod filled…. can you check it out? It just hangs on the load page.
@214 tequila
/i luh you
Sorry bout that. It doesn’t actually “hang”, it “cues”, if that make any sense. It took about three minutes to load the link just now, but it worked. Anyway, try this link:
http://www.driveway.com/o0d2y1o7e9
it may be faster and easier to use. Cheers.
My pod overfloweth… grassy arse B’Yo
@213: I haven’t hear Track 11 in years! And now, it is in my head. Forevar. Aghh!
@217 this is my new favorite track Rockell - You Keep Me Hanging On (plays in new window)
Nice one dieter! definitely puttin that through the SP’s this wednesday. Thanks!
You and B-yo need to take that techno fabulousness over to the MUSE and make a post.
I believe the correct term is “fabulosity”.
@213, 217:
the “doggy daddy” link just gave me a play-it-once stream sort of deali-o, and your driveway link gave me a one track download (artist dj13, album name chopper) on my itunes.
/it would be “groovy” to have tracks…if there is a simple way to do so.
thanks, mr. belmont dj, yo.
//all the way down.
This place is so Maxim today. Scotch, flying penis toys, aliens, and hottie bartender contests.
@226 What’s in your man drawer?
I have one of those. Wait a minute…
since echo’s not around to comment, i’ll try to fill in for him: “oh look it’s tuesday! yippee!”
OMFG moment du jour:
Was at the gas station last night, getting gas and a six-pack o’ Blue Moon with an orange. Long-ass line for the cashier so this dude behind starts chatting me up. Harmless goofy-looking country boy/redneck whatever. Anyways, I was polite, but not too friendly to give him the wrong idea. He’s asking me where I’m from and if I like country music and do I like to have fun, etc and I give him short polite responses, just waiting for my turn at the register where I will smile, pay for my stuff, and get the the fuck out of there.
So, I get to the register finally and the cashier is still making change or something from the last customer and doesn’t get to me for a minute. Country boy walks up to my side and puts his hand on my orange saying,
“You know this kind-here ain’t got no seeds, right?”
I look down at the orange and he’s slowly stroking it, moving his thumb around the navel in suggestive circles.
My polite facade must have dropped for a moment and my face must have contorted into an “OMFG ewwww!” expression of horror without me realizing it because he suddenly steps back saying,
“I was just being friendly lady. Sorry to bother you!” and as I turn to go he mumbles loudly
“Hardcore!”
And I get the fuck out of there, not sure whether to scream or laugh my ass off.
How rude, touching a woman’s produce. Too bad you weren’t buying a kumquat.
I look down at the
orangekumquat and he’s slowly stroking it…/softcore?
I think he was just being too friendly and my dirty mind made it worse. I just wish I could have seen the look on my face that made him jump back and leave me alone.
It might be similar to your “get the fuck out of my bar” face, but I wouldn’t remember.
Am I allowed to joke about that yet?
Haha. No, they are definitely two different faces.
This is completely random, but some of them are funny. My favorite is the redneck on the top left.
This is completely random and either really awesome or a sign of the apocalypse…
OMFG it’s boring on here today. WTF?
/work is boring too
It is deathly quiet on here today. Is anyone going to Beer Run beer tasting today?
anyone see the new kickball website? ( http://www.cvillesocial.com )
looks a lot like http://www.chicagosportandsocialclub.com/ to me
Hey Shen… you managed to tug anything today and make it bigger?
Not yet, Flooze but the day is not over.
@236 & 239 tug of bore?
The downtown mall needs one of these.
@241 I think “tug of whore” would be more appropriate
huh.
Hey Flooze, I was in town today lookin’ for you…..
Oh C…. I was in town but wuuurkin. Where were you at?
One thing I love is cVillains’ lack of hebetude.
/learning something new everyday
stuffing my face at Bizou