@2 You lack of natural padding did not makeup for your reduced elasticity.
Or I learned this the hard way- you did not prepare the ground under and around the slip and slide pproperly.
There is no need to tell us alcohol was involved
Of course there was booze involved. But mainly to blame was my attempts to be “Queen of the Slip ‘n’ Slide” which is what I kept screaming everytime I got back up, pumping my fists in the air like Rocky. I am retarded.
there is nothing retarded about keep the child inside alive. Of course too much alcohol can put that child in a coma and that is where the trouble starts
Oh! I forgot to mention that today is one of our fearless leader’s Bday. If you see Kyle (KRED/D/R) or not see him (he reads the site religiously) wish him happy birthday!
It’s Tuesday, and in addition to that, you have 2 more reasons to come to South Street. It’s Kyle’s birthday, and while I think I remember someone saying he wasn’t going to be there, we can celebrate for him. Also, orchid leaves tomorrow, so we can all drown our sorrows in his/her presence one last time.
Read this in the weekend NYTimes and thought it would be of interest. Particularly after attending the space party and realizing I knew almost everyone there because of the internet.
all you have to do is buy your friend a shot, then tag him in the square of the jaw at the same moment that he downs whatever horrendous rail bourbon you bought him. he’ll still get all the liquor because the reflex is to swallow, that’s what she said. but then he’ll be in shock for long enough that you can run away and answer his questions about the swollen jaw in the morning. which is also what she said. i think.
I would hope by now that you all know how much I love the internet, and I hate to sour the mood; but since you’ve all had to deal with it on an almost daily basis I just want to say that even though I was hanging out with her tonight, that bitch left without even giving me a chance to say goodbye.
holy shit echo, you’d best not be talking about me saying goodbye to you before anyone else at south street. just because i made out with tuesday for 10 minutes before i left,,,
ok well, because they don’t have internet on the left coast, goodbye internet too.
Where’s the present and is it returnable? If her bullshit is walking on the street, then your money should be climbing back into your pockets and out at the bar. May I suggest a shot of TUACA to get you going?
Congrats street! I don’t know if you heard but Utah Phillips passed away on Friday. Since you were a fan of his as well I thought you’d be interested in the ‘muse article. It’s sad but he died peacefully in his sleep.
Don’t cry little Echo, she’ll be back. In the menatime you should write a song about it à la “Summer Loving” from Grease but call it “South Street loving”
@87: I could so pretend to be orchid right now but I’m thinking of lyrics.
“Tell me more tell me more-did that blonde girl put out?
Tell me more tell me more- did you stick with the Stout?”
dieter that sure sounded like orchid to me.
Also, echo there will be no D/R faking–you big cheater you.
Besides, orchid so has more power than them (they are just guys after all).
I had a sink full of ice with a few choice bottles on chill I have to admit, but I don’t really fit in with the crowd. Too uptight. Did you go to the Space Party?
hells no. I told the space people I would not go if you were not going. plus shen is still mad at me I think. But I did have a secret spy bottle up some of Parlie’s space goo, and I’m going to sell it on ebay.
i was going to say something about smearing on our faces, and then I realized I was too tired. I had to sling mud all day and then put the two year old to beddy by.
/me need drinky poo
/ we are old flooze, according to echo.
Bollocks to Echo…. we have reproduced and created fantastic kids who will do great things for the world so our chronological age is irrelevant… our DNA is young.. just in another body. When is the wee one’s upcoming birthday?
/non-referential post-modern direct pointing at the nature of mind/parlie statement
//shen is going to marry a cop (bacon) or fromage (cheese) man anyways, so she is more in line for a McMuffin, or some such thing. Included with the union is a $50 gift certificate to Wal-Mart and/or Costco and a free first gallon of gas for your brand new minivan. Hope she keeps her weekend gig.
@152: Deal, but it falls under doctor patient privliedge, so only I get to talk about it. Everyone will be told I won, regardless of the actual outcome.
hey villains - i am for all intents and purposes done with the internets until i touch down and am settled eight time zones to the east. happy hump day-to-the-weekend and beyond! i’ll check in when i can, but i’ll see you cats in august. cheers!
@158 Article V Section 1: Well that sucks. There is a lot that I want to say about that comment, but I won’t. If you had cried, it would mean you have more than 1 feeling, and that’s not allowed.
@158 Article V Section 2: You could have called. Even a text message with the word “goodbye” would have been nice.
@158 Article V Section 3: I miss you too, but I have writer’s block so the song is on hold.
There is a lot that I would have liked to have said, but I guess all that’s left is enjoy your summer.
I’ve been taking it easy, so the swelling went down. I did the Stairmaster yesterday without dying so I think we’re back in business. Who wants to go to a pig roast on Saturday?
Um, I’m not going for the pig. That’s Motorcock’s gig. I’m going for the outdoor drinking and the Bocce. I will make ew faces at the people eating pig.
Farewell internet. I’m going to sit at the bar and watch Angela Tincher and the rest of the VT softball team dominate Texas A&M in the College World Series. Enjoy the rest of your day at work.
‘Tis I, dieter. I almost used your suggestion, btw. Turns out I was mislead and only have a roof for a few nights a week, but it’s better than nothing. Y’all have a great day!
[…] Thanks to Odie, we found out that The Rock is now single. Since he is living in Charlottesville, we figured one of you would (at least) try to hook up with him. Let us know if you succeed! […]
Lame poetry corner: a work in progress, needs an edit or six.
Untitled
Buddha borrowed two bucks from me today in the parking lot of the supermarket.
He painted gas needs dreams on his alcoholic canvas, but I gave it to him anyway.
He wanted five, but I gave him two, explaining that I had kids at home to feed.
Still, his false shiny gratitude did not detract from the implications of his teachings.
The madmen, they don’t talk to me.
They cloister in their hallowed condos of imperial self servitude
talking golf drenched cigar rape and exclusive insider market corners.
But Jesus asked me to buy some stolen porn dvd’s, right there, at my door
one lonely saturday morning, when my ignorance had eclipsed my ability to reason.
Nothing in his stack made my genitals twitch, but I bought Lolitas 24 anyway
knowing full well the money would be spent later on further ministries.
The madmen, though, they wont talk with me.
They hover over their country club caesar salads bitching on and on
about the servants who don’t know that they are servants and won’t serve.
Yet Mohammed talked my ear off on my greyhound ride up north.
He had some big ideas about changing his life around,
despite the alien mind control radios that the aliens had implanted in his fillings.
His cheap after shave drenched aroma reminded me of summer’s insecurities.
And where are the madmen? Why the silence?
Treading empty endless miles on that elliptical, chasing gold carrots
that we all know will only damage their veneers once bitten.
Shiva shouts her proclamations on the edge of the free music festival.
Her ranting froth depicting misunderstandings of chemistry deep within.
I hear her waves of chaos cover me like a distracting wave
slammed into my back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Have you nothing to offer madmen? Nothing?
Would not your voice be heard over this deafening din of idle idolatry?
I crave your insight above all others, for I know you do not care.
201
A Buddhist Monk is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress.
He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot.
He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away.
Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by.
When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him.
It was a different elephant.
A preacher goes to see a monk living on a mountaintop.
Monk says, “Come in, my friend.”
Preacher follows him into an empty room, and they sit down on the floor.
“Where’s your furniture?” asks the preacher.
“Where’s yours?” rejoins the monk.
“I’m just passing through,” says the preacher.
“So am I,” says the monk.
Byo… back at you…. reality of the Real Estate Market of 2008…..
A preacher goes to see a monk living on a mountaintop.
Monk says, “Come in, my friend.”
Preacher follows him into an empty room, and they sit down on the floor.
“Where’s your furniture?” asks the preacher.
“Where’s yours?” rejoins the monk.
“I got foreclosed and they are coming for my car at 2.30,” says the preacher.
“Bunch of Bastards… they took my BMW just last week.” says the monk.
Three monks decided to practise meditation together. They sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then suddenly, the first one stood up and said, “I forgot my mat.” He steeped miraculously onto the water in front of him and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side.
When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, “I forgot to put my clothes out to dry.” He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way.
The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. “Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform,” he declared loudly and rushed to the water’s edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water.
Undeterred, the monk climbed out of the water and tried again, only to sink into the water. Yet again he climbed out and yet again he tried, each time sinking into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched.
After a while, the second monk turned to the first and said, “Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?”
The Hamdog is a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty that’s deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie bun topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.
Can you say heart attack?
I discovered a few days ago that a friend of mine likes to “squeeze” people when he gets inebriated. Well, he “squeezed” me the other night, and now I have 2 cracked ribs. Not gud. In other news, I now have a place to live 24/7/365.
Donk is evil. There are warrants out for his arrest for multiple counts of making Oy drink tequila. He should be considered armed with a credit card and is extremely persuasive. Approach with severe thirst.
@218 five, are you a shaper of young minds as well? or are you just a total lush who is interested in partying for 2.5 months straight? because, you know, either one is totally cool in my book.
@257, 259:
luckily, Oy, Mrs Nut does. she loves beer but can’t drink it due to a malt allergy. can you think of a worse thing to be allergic to? (in a non-tragic, non-life-threatening sense, that is).
and don’t worry, sweet, she’s earned a ton of free passes from me. i’ll DD for her as often as she wants after she DD’d throughout the pregnancy AND birthed my clone!
5.5? Did you do that because Street asked for 6.0?
Know how I know I’m old? I injured myself on a Slip ‘n’ Slide.
@2 You lack of natural padding did not makeup for your reduced elasticity.
Or I learned this the hard way- you did not prepare the ground under and around the slip and slide pproperly.
There is no need to tell us alcohol was involved
Of course there was booze involved. But mainly to blame was my attempts to be “Queen of the Slip ‘n’ Slide” which is what I kept screaming everytime I got back up, pumping my fists in the air like Rocky. I am retarded.
there is nothing retarded about keep the child inside alive. Of course too much alcohol can put that child in a coma and that is where the trouble starts
@1 Absolutely.
Oh! I forgot to mention that today is one of our fearless leader’s Bday. If you see Kyle (KRED/D/R) or not see him (he reads the site religiously) wish him happy birthday!
ponderings while on an ocean voyage:
Do flying fish really fly, or do they just suck at swimming?
Hi, it’s my birthday and I can cry if I want to.
It’s Tuesday, and in addition to that, you have 2 more reasons to come to South Street. It’s Kyle’s birthday, and while I think I remember someone saying he wasn’t going to be there, we can celebrate for him. Also, orchid leaves tomorrow, so we can all drown our sorrows in his/her presence one last time.
Bonne Anniversaire Kyle!
I will not be at SS. I can’t walk real gud.
@9
“Zum Geburtstag viel Glück!
Zum Geburtstag viel Glück!
Zum Geburtstag liebe Kyle
Zum Geburtstag viel Glück!”
@11perhaps you need to start taking Bonvia?
It really should be “lieber Kyle” but after the whole orchid thing I’m just assuming everyone is the opposite from what they claim
buon compleanno kyle! venuto a sud di strada solo per un po’! studio più tardi!
@13 welcome to the internets
I have a giant exam in 10 days and I need to study for it. I might be out for a bit after dinner.
io lo so. j’espere.
you think your exam is giant?
I think so.
Speak English!
Geez no need to yell.
@20 sich vor Lachen auf dem Boden wälzen
@9 - Well, well look who decided to come out and play! It’s about time.
PS there will be NO CRYING.
@15 When in doubt answer ‘fee fi fo fum’ and I’m sure you’ll be a giant crushing childrens bones in no time.
/Be he ‘live, or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread!
happy birthday Kyle! good luck on your test!
Read this in the weekend NYTimes and thought it would be of interest. Particularly after attending the space party and realizing I knew almost everyone there because of the internet.
Modern Love
Instant Message, Instant Girlfriend :
It was as if the Internet had allowed me to turn flirtation and seduction into a video game.
Happy birthday, dude.
@25 His claims seemed awfully inflated for a story about instant girlfriends
Happy Bday Kylie, go and celebrate your birthday tonight- the test is 10 days away.
You can be an old man tomorrow.
I meant Kyle, of course. Perhaps I should blame orchid as well. That seems to be quite popular
hey kyle, here’s to hoping that the only downsizing that happens to you is somebody downsizing your age!
have you ever done blackout shots? maybe i’ll teach you someday.
He cannot be taught. He is a light weight.
you can teach anybody a blackout shot!
all you have to do is buy your friend a shot, then tag him in the square of the jaw at the same moment that he downs whatever horrendous rail bourbon you bought him. he’ll still get all the liquor because the reflex is to swallow, that’s what she said. but then he’ll be in shock for long enough that you can run away and answer his questions about the swollen jaw in the morning. which is also what she said. i think.
What is blooming right now? It smells so amazing outside. I’m being serious. Any gardeners out there?
It may be the tiny flowers on the vine known as the honeysuckle
@20 - awesome. Well said.
@32 - make sure you only try this on friends with short memories. I make elephants jealous.
Kyle, you’re majoring in Giant Studies too? Bring a #200 pencil.
/Dad joke
Happy Belated Birthday Mr. Giant Exam. Yep… I’m the night owl that comes in after hours usually drunk and jolly.
@32. Blackout shot? I like. Will you be teaching by example?
I would hope by now that you all know how much I love the internet, and I hate to sour the mood; but since you’ve all had to deal with it on an almost daily basis I just want to say that even though I was hanging out with her tonight, that bitch left without even giving me a chance to say goodbye.
holy shit echo, you’d best not be talking about me saying goodbye to you before anyone else at south street. just because i made out with tuesday for 10 minutes before i left,,,
ok well, because they don’t have internet on the left coast, goodbye internet too.
Would that probably be because she had too much to drink, or was she fearing the ‘tear factor.’
Quite random, but the tear factor comes when goodbye becomes difficult while parting with friends.
/Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt.
You barely gave me a hug and walked away before I could even say a word. Don’t bother calling when you come back.
@39. I know you were speaking out of anger when you said, “goodbye internet?”
Right?
@41. The love between you two will always remain.
/damn, I don’t know how I got myself in this, but a Psychiatrist… I am not! Let’s talk drunken jibberish.
I’m tired of her bullshit. 4 hours ago I had a going away present for her. Now I don’t care if she ever comes back.
Where’s the present and is it returnable? If her bullshit is walking on the street, then your money should be climbing back into your pockets and out at the bar. May I suggest a shot of TUACA to get you going?
mmm…tuaca
@ 33 honeysuckle seems to be a yummy flavor out now
Hmmm… This all seems familiar. Have I been here before?
good mornin’ yo!
bye bye orchid.
HELLO BYO!
GOODBYE ORCHID!
wow, that was loud.
Good times last night, ya’ll.
Honestly did you just say ya’ll?!
belmoooooooonnnnnnnnnt yo! yay!
@6 :p
I’m going to have to change my name because I no longer live on the street. What should I call myself? House?
Congrats dude!
Congrats Street… how about ‘Roof’ since Hugh Laurie kind of beat you to House.
How about “Floor”?
Okay…. … “Surrounded by Drywall attached to 2×4’s”
/game on
Just add the word “smart” to your current name
Oooh… a name game? Hooray!
Lynn Oleum
Hardy Wood
Shag Carpette
Tiles Davis
Tongue & Groove
A. Reah Rugg
Roofus Rainright
Fore Wallace
Windowby Gillis
Doora the Explorah
Things are kinda slow on the internets today. Where oh where is echo?
Hot Dawg
/I am lame…that’s all I got
Studs
Good afternoon Tuesday. I’m never too far away.
Dude, were you trashed or did Orchid really break your heart last night?
Adam N. Yves
Roady Roady Piper
Arnold Schwarzeneighbor
Woolly Bully-vard
Lazy Susan
Napoleon Bonaparticleboard
Pretty hammered, but also pretty angry. She left without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
@ 65 Napoleon Bonaparticleboard… that is utterly brilliant Tuffy. I am in crush with you now.
@65 I like Napolean as well Schwarzeneighbor is funny but could be misheard and thought to be a slur
@67, use your name well, Flooze.
/unto thine own handle be true.
Congrats street! I don’t know if you heard but Utah Phillips passed away on Friday. Since you were a fan of his as well I thought you’d be interested in the ‘muse article. It’s sad but he died peacefully in his sleep.
http://cvillemuse.com/2008/05/28/u-utah-phillips-many-voices-out-of-one/
Don’t cry little Echo, she’ll be back. In the menatime you should write a song about it à la “Summer Loving” from Grease but call it “South Street loving”
SO orchid was a woman- you guys are such cards
Hey where is Street? He seems to be MIA.
He’s doing a Martha Stewart makeover on his new crib.
/Lilac Blush or Lime Explosion for the napkin rings?
He has a crib now?
Lu Sid Start at 54.Read.Be embarrassed.
Everyone who has nothing to do needs to go to the MUSE and read all 9 of NewmaN’s posts. There will be a quiz.
@77 you’re not the boss of me
and I was told there would be no math
@78: You didn’t get the memo? Here, I will paste a copy of it below:
MEMO
To Whom It May Concern:
echo is now the boss of dieter. Effective immediately.
D/R
@79 you must put my last name or it could be any dieter. And I don’t accept the D/R as the need sig.
I mean if orchid had asked sure but…
Dammit you leave me no choice…
dieter, while i’m gone, echo is your boss.
You need to work on your song. C’mon. “Whoa-oh those South Street nights…”
I have all summer to write my song. If I write it now, it’ll end up being about someone else before she gets back…
/writing my song
@80: see 82
That’s not really orchid- you’re just address spoofing.
Orchid say something about your paper
Alright, you just sit here and wait for the “real” orchid to say something. It might be a while…
@87 J’accuse!
Echo…. that was a very naughty vid you posted over on Muse…. did you not get flack?
@87: I could so pretend to be orchid right now but I’m thinking of lyrics.
“Tell me more tell me more-did that blonde girl put out?
Tell me more tell me more- did you stick with the Stout?”
Nope, but thanks for turning me in.
/sits in the corner.
Yes, Floozy I am ashamed. You people comment so quick! It is impossible to keep up.
Congrats Street!
PS Do not change your name!
dieter that sure sounded like orchid to me.
Also, echo there will be no D/R faking–you big cheater you.
Besides, orchid so has more power than them (they are just guys after all).
sweet are you out there? Drinking this afternoon?
Tell me more, tell me more, I am ready to drink!
Tell me more, tell me more, there’s no need to think!
/I was over on the Muse peeing my pants, thank you
/where to mon frere?
Outside…Rapture or Millers?
In honor of the break-in and belmont yo’s historic second story nap, let’s give Millers a few of our hard earned (hah!) dollars today…
Wow logic, I like it.
It’s been fun internet, but I must bid you adu.
sweet, 5:30ish
flooze?
Caroline?
how was soccer?
Hell on earth my dear…. those kids were FUCKING HUGE… steroids I tell you…had to be steroids. Our lot got pulverized
sorry to hear that, at least you were probably drunk for the whole thingy. I missed you.
I had a sink full of ice with a few choice bottles on chill I have to admit, but I don’t really fit in with the crowd. Too uptight. Did you go to the Space Party?
hells no. I told the space people I would not go if you were not going. plus shen is still mad at me I think. But I did have a secret spy bottle up some of Parlie’s space goo, and I’m going to sell it on ebay.
Why is Shen mad at you? Have you read cvilleStyle?
anyone know what this is all about?
http://twitter.com/cvillain/statuses/821860959
cause i never give her any lovin.
cvilleStyle no, why?
Oh get over there and read about what we should be buying/wearing and smearing on our faces.
Pearl necklaces all round.
@111 The ZZ version or the one from the jewelry store?
zz top
lovely.
I thought the ’smearing on our faces’ would have been all the elucidation needed.sigh.
/Pearls before swine
@115 so men are pigs?
Click my name
i was going to say something about smearing on our faces, and then I realized I was too tired. I had to sling mud all day and then put the two year old to beddy by.
/me need drinky poo
/ we are old flooze, according to echo.
Bollocks to Echo…. we have reproduced and created fantastic kids who will do great things for the world so our chronological age is irrelevant… our DNA is young.. just in another body. When is the wee one’s upcoming birthday?
you missed the parteeee, we had a bunch of two year olds eating caviar at FOAN.
Oh cool… did you bring them to Boar’s Head Spa for a pedi/ mani as well?
Not Boars Head puleeze….more like Keswick Hall baby.
I luv posh friends… makes me think that one day I’ll get out of this DW and get me a reel house.
speaking of posh, is your beach open yet?
Floozy!!!! go over to the Wall St. Journal Post! Hurry!!
OMFG… WTF is going on with those two? It is funny but not funny because if someone came after me like that I would rip shit strips off them.
is FF a boy or girl?
Gurl IMHO
And middle child, I’d warrant.
And the beach is officially open and the inaugural scattering of beer bottles has been carried out…. when do you plan on being in the ‘ville?
where’s parlie, I wanna makeout.
I think ff IS Shen and she is just doing this to get sympathy sex.
LMAO
Shen is totally FF.
and I am W8LUCMDK
Do you have a stalker too? Cool. I had no idea.
/just realized what that name says phonetically..ewwwwwwww
@108… ’tis a secret, but it will rock and take us 2 months to pull off.
@132 with herself?
No… she is poor and would never have sex with herself
She’s not poor. she’s a skinny ATM machine or so she claims
@135: thor is going to use food to build a working model of the internet. behold:
- myspace will be twinkies stuffed into condoms, strangled in miles of oddly colored christmas lights and molded into a god-like, epileptic monolith.
- cnn will be made of cotton candy filled with dopamine and valentine’s day candy hearts.
- cvillain will exist as is, 17 funny people floating on a raft made of towels in a sea of red wine.
Parlie… did you take some little red pills with smiley faces on?
thor said it would make me feel good, and have lots of pep!
meeeeeooowww purrrrrrrrlie
keanu reeves is an idiot parlie you should have taken the blue pill
Parlie doesn’t need Viagra… he uses cats
parlie loves cats and so does shen. does that mean they’re going out?
I don’t know.. is he poor?
parlie isn’t poor, he’s just locked in the basement.
So I think we need a cVillain pool tournament. Thor let’s get on that.
a basement of, dare I say, sweeeeet love…
/non-referential post-modern direct pointing at the nature of mind/parlie statement
//shen is going to marry a cop (bacon) or fromage (cheese) man anyways, so she is more in line for a McMuffin, or some such thing. Included with the union is a $50 gift certificate to Wal-Mart and/or Costco and a free first gallon of gas for your brand new minivan. Hope she keeps her weekend gig.
@148. I would definitely be down for a cVillain pool tournament. I feel bad to have missed both parties this year. Ready to kick ass.
Ahh my psychiatrist. I would love a chance to challenge you in billiards.
@151. You’re on echo. Challenge accepted.
@152: Deal, but it falls under doctor patient privliedge, so only I get to talk about it. Everyone will be told I won, regardless of the actual outcome.
@153. We’ll work that into the hourly rate.
@154: I’ll pay you in shots (liquor shots not pool shots).
@156. Done. Can’t wait.
hey villains - i am for all intents and purposes done with the internets until i touch down and am settled eight time zones to the east. happy hump day-to-the-weekend and beyond! i’ll check in when i can, but i’ll see you cats in august. cheers!
why aren’t you people this prolific when i’m sitting at starbucks trying to write my paper? (@86: 7 pages left.)
@87 echo’s right. i was in the middle of georgia this afternoon. i don’t think they’ve heard of the internets there.
@72 orchid WAS a woman?
@b’yo 68? from somewhere else–sorry, the message didn’t seem mean at the time. tuesday, would you sent me that photo? killerorchid@gmail.
@40 five’s right. i didn’t want to cry and ruin my eye makeup.
i was going to return to south street but realized i needed to get home before i realized i was too drunk to drive. excuse me for being responsible.
if it makes you feel any better, i miss you already
i like your song though!
@157: have a good trip, buster!
@158 Article V Section 1: Well that sucks. There is a lot that I want to say about that comment, but I won’t. If you had cried, it would mean you have more than 1 feeling, and that’s not allowed.
@158 Article V Section 2: You could have called. Even a text message with the word “goodbye” would have been nice.
@158 Article V Section 3: I miss you too, but I have writer’s block so the song is on hold.
There is a lot that I would have liked to have said, but I guess all that’s left is enjoy your summer.
BUSTER HAEV FUN!
@149 I am not a cop and Shenanigans will not be pleased with teasing her about a marriage that can never be.
And really a minivan, I don’t think so
I go and read a book and all y’all do is talk about me. Dang.
@126: Feel free to step in and rip shit strips for me. I can’t really be bothered.
shen, how’s the ankle?
I’ve been taking it easy, so the swelling went down. I did the Stairmaster yesterday without dying so I think we’re back in business. Who wants to go to a pig roast on Saturday?
Glad to hear its doing better. We can’t have you hobbling around Saturday night.
Tempting offer, but I’m making beer in Staunton on Saturday.
oh, you guys, wait! um, hold on a second…
- shenanigans, our favorite dietary doctrine enforceress, @165
so, that happened.
Um, I’m not going for the pig. That’s Motorcock’s gig. I’m going for the outdoor drinking and the Bocce. I will make ew faces at the people eating pig.
@165 Is it that the pig roast at the Lodge?
Yeah! You should come. They’re gonna tear it down soon and put some stupid Jefferson scholar thing in it’s place.
@170 Wait, didn’t they tear down Beta for that?
It’s still there. But it’s gonna be torn down.
can anyone offer more deets about this alleged pig roast?
Saturday at 1. BYOB and a side dish or bag of chips. The Nice Jenkins are playing.
@173 Oh it’s for real, some guys I know invited me
This whole nested comments thing is against the W3C I am pretty sure.
is this a private event or is this open to ALL cool and awesome people?
@177 I only know about it because I was invited don’t think it’s a public event.
I will defer to Shen on this.
I’m pretty sure the pig roast is a private event (I know because I’m not invited).
I can invite whomever I want. I’m inviting cVillains. Dieter, who invited you? We may have friends in common…
@180 That will be an excellent topic for conversation. Just come find me- I’ll be wearing lederhose
I’ll be wearing a muumuu.
Hot Shen Hot.
Thor you weren’t invited? I was…nah, nah, naaaaahhhh, nah.
I think I want to wear a hula skirt–it seems appropriate.
There will be leis.
Good they will match my (GRASS) skirt.
Where is everybody? I just had to go to cvilleStyle for entertainment.
Haha Lu Sid I saw you edited your own comment. Not fair.
Farewell internet. I’m going to sit at the bar and watch Angela Tincher and the rest of the VT softball team dominate Texas A&M in the College World Series. Enjoy the rest of your day at work.
Those are some great names, people!
@190 Is that you street? Have you gone thru the “change”?
‘Tis I, dieter. I almost used your suggestion, btw.
Turns out I was mislead and only have a roof for a few nights a week, but it’s better than nothing. Y’all have a great day!
Ya know, no matter what happens, I think I’ll continue using this alias. It’s grown on me, like a fungus.
/I am a mushroom, they feed me shit and keep me in the dark.
So The Rock made his divorce official today (link). Who’s gonna be the first lady cvillain to make out with our newly single local celebrity?
[…] Thanks to Odie, we found out that The Rock is now single. Since he is living in Charlottesville, we figured one of you would (at least) try to hook up with him. Let us know if you succeed! […]
Odie, made that one it’s own thread…
http://cvillain.com/2008/05/29/which-cvillain-is-gonna-marry-the-rock/
Thanks!
Good Night Internets.
Lame poetry corner: a work in progress, needs an edit or six.
Untitled
Buddha borrowed two bucks from me today in the parking lot of the supermarket.
He painted gas needs dreams on his alcoholic canvas, but I gave it to him anyway.
He wanted five, but I gave him two, explaining that I had kids at home to feed.
Still, his false shiny gratitude did not detract from the implications of his teachings.
The madmen, they don’t talk to me.
They cloister in their hallowed condos of imperial self servitude
talking golf drenched cigar rape and exclusive insider market corners.
But Jesus asked me to buy some stolen porn dvd’s, right there, at my door
one lonely saturday morning, when my ignorance had eclipsed my ability to reason.
Nothing in his stack made my genitals twitch, but I bought Lolitas 24 anyway
knowing full well the money would be spent later on further ministries.
The madmen, though, they wont talk with me.
They hover over their country club caesar salads bitching on and on
about the servants who don’t know that they are servants and won’t serve.
Yet Mohammed talked my ear off on my greyhound ride up north.
He had some big ideas about changing his life around,
despite the alien mind control radios that the aliens had implanted in his fillings.
His cheap after shave drenched aroma reminded me of summer’s insecurities.
And where are the madmen? Why the silence?
Treading empty endless miles on that elliptical, chasing gold carrots
that we all know will only damage their veneers once bitten.
Shiva shouts her proclamations on the edge of the free music festival.
Her ranting froth depicting misunderstandings of chemistry deep within.
I hear her waves of chaos cover me like a distracting wave
slammed into my back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Have you nothing to offer madmen? Nothing?
Would not your voice be heard over this deafening din of idle idolatry?
I crave your insight above all others, for I know you do not care.
If Buddha asks you for change, you say, “Hey. Change comes from within.”
Buddha would never say that. He knows I would kill him, as it should be.
Q: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
201
A Buddhist Monk is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress.
He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot.
He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away.
Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by.
When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him.
It was a different elephant.
Flooz… Nice!
A preacher goes to see a monk living on a mountaintop.
Monk says, “Come in, my friend.”
Preacher follows him into an empty room, and they sit down on the floor.
“Where’s your furniture?” asks the preacher.
“Where’s yours?” rejoins the monk.
“I’m just passing through,” says the preacher.
“So am I,” says the monk.
Byo… back at you…. reality of the Real Estate Market of 2008…..
A preacher goes to see a monk living on a mountaintop.
Monk says, “Come in, my friend.”
Preacher follows him into an empty room, and they sit down on the floor.
“Where’s your furniture?” asks the preacher.
“Where’s yours?” rejoins the monk.
“I got foreclosed and they are coming for my car at 2.30,” says the preacher.
“Bunch of Bastards… they took my BMW just last week.” says the monk.
Three monks decided to practise meditation together. They sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then suddenly, the first one stood up and said, “I forgot my mat.” He steeped miraculously onto the water in front of him and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side.
When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, “I forgot to put my clothes out to dry.” He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way.
The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. “Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform,” he declared loudly and rushed to the water’s edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water.
Undeterred, the monk climbed out of the water and tried again, only to sink into the water. Yet again he climbed out and yet again he tried, each time sinking into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched.
After a while, the second monk turned to the first and said, “Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?”
….To which the other monk replied….”Naaah… he’s a total twat. “
*Twat* Floozy?
I think she means lady parts.
The Hamdog is a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty that’s deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie bun topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.
Can you say heart attack?
I discovered a few days ago that a friend of mine likes to “squeeze” people when he gets inebriated. Well, he “squeezed” me the other night, and now I have 2 cracked ribs. Not gud. In other news, I now have a place to live 24/7/365.
@210 hooray notstreet!
Where is everyone today?
Morning echo? How’s your day so far?
Well, it’s Monday, but I don’t have too much work to do yet, so it might not be too bad of a week.
How’s yours?
Sleepy! I’m about to get busy. Happy Monday morning.
This is my last week of school, then the 2.5 month paid vacation begins!!!
looooooooooooove being a teacher this time of year
Damn Odie. I need your digits so we can party for 2.5 months straight!
orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you can help us post on cvillain for 2.5 months….
Donk flashed me his undies at work on Friday night. Nice.
Yeah. I’m expecting a rain check on that tequila shot.
Why is it so quiet? Is everyone just sitting out there lurking? I know someone has some good stories from the weekend.
@220 Boxers or briefs? Red panties?
Donk is evil. There are warrants out for his arrest for multiple counts of making Oy drink tequila. He should be considered armed with a credit card and is extremely persuasive. Approach with severe thirst.
Now showing: Oy in the role of Brer Rabbit.
“No, Donk! Don’t make me drink that there tequila!”
You can never turn down a tequila shot. I’m pretty sure that’s a law or something.
@221: You sure you don’t want SoCo? We so ran out of that thanks to you.
@223: His Playboy boxer briefs from the Penguin thread
The SoCo shots were not my idea. I promise. And it’s not like Cuervo Gold was a big step up from there.
Oy didn’t look very impressed when the first offering from under the bar was Montezuma.
Yeah, I sure as hell wouldn’t take shots of rail liquor. Uck.
@218 five, are you a shaper of young minds as well? or are you just a total lush who is interested in partying for 2.5 months straight? because, you know, either one is totally cool in my book.
Hey, could scowly use a sidekick?
Warning awfully darn cute!
@230. Ah! Odie, that sounds fresh. I’m the mind that’s forever looking for new shapes and for the next 2.5 months, you’ll be the facilitator.
/looking forward.
someone made a movie describing my life (except the sex part) - linkypoo
@233:You texted your way to love?
oy, that is epic.
@233 without the sex, why would you text?
That vid is awesome. I totally had a relationship like that.
It’s Tuesday, so where is Tuesday? The South Street countdown has begun, 6.5 hours.
You texted your way to love?
“Love” not “Lurv”, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkthatyoudo
Anybody know anyone in the black market?
Depends what you need.
Video Ipod.
I came into possesion of one on Sunday, but I’ve already sold it.
Are they that hard to find?
@243: Shaddup.
@244: Just had one stolen. Was trying to keep an eye out.
That sucks. Sounds like oy’s your man.
No, oy is fucking around. Hey, that cVille style chick is hawt. Take it off.
No, oy wants you to think he’s fucking around.
hey echo, thanks for the html love…my inner Luddite is shocked to discover that things actually work even if you have no clue how…mercy buckets
/3 hours to go
@233 oy, that’s awesome.
@242 check Snooky’s. Do you have the serial number? You’re SOL without it, but there are a couple of tricks to figure it out.
yah, the style chick is smokin’. Totally want to text her up.
threadjack/question:
the $2.50 pints special at South Street tonight, is that all pints? or just beer? Mrs Nut is craving some cider…
I should know this answer. I don’t think cider is included, but anyone out there who knows for sure, let nut know.
thanks echo!
All pints, Wingnut. If not, we will rebel. And drink more. And buy Mrs. Nut as many $4 pints as she can handle.
/again, pretty sure it is
oy, you have any idea? We need a tie breaker.
nope, no idea.
/don’t drink cider cuz, yanno, I don’t have a vajayjay
My contact, the Pope of South Street, has pontificated upon this question of ciderrific remuneration:
“I don’t think so”
So let it be written, so let it be done
Yeah, cider is for pussies!
You just called Mrs. Nut a pussy, Miss Viognier.
@257, 259:
luckily, Oy, Mrs Nut does. she loves beer but can’t drink it due to a malt allergy. can you think of a worse thing to be allergic to? (in a non-tragic, non-life-threatening sense, that is).
and don’t worry, sweet, she’s earned a ton of free passes from me. i’ll DD for her as often as she wants after she DD’d throughout the pregnancy AND birthed my clone!
@259
i wouldn’t do that shen, but don’t worry, i won’t tell her. and hopefully she’ll be full of cider later, and happy!
aperand261
I think I have a malt allergy too - I often wake up on Wednesday mornings with a headache, dry mouth and priapism
/seriou