[photo by Raman Pfaff]
Recently I was lucky enough to score an apartment downtown and was thrilled by the fact that I’d be able to walk to all the bars, get trashed and not have to drunk-drive home. The Mall was about to become my playground. Also, I bartend at a place downtown once a week, and was excited about being able to walk to and from my job.
Now, every weekend, late into the wee hours, I stumble from my establishment, buzzed from a lovely shift drink and find my way home, pocket full of cash from that night’s wonderful patrons. The Mall is empty and surreal, but it’s cool, it’s kinda magical, like if you were in Disneyland after everyone else went home. Sounds sweet right?
TOO BAD I’M A FREAKING IDIOT.
That’s right. I was bragging to my coworkers this morning about how awesome it is to walk home after a late shift and they were shocked.
“You walk home ALONE??!!”
“With a bunch of $$?!!”
“Your ass is gonna get mugged!!”
They’re right. I’ve been stupidly, naively, hiccuping my way home, a skinny ATM, just waiting to get into trouble. And I’ve always been this oblivious. I used to walk home all the time from Downtown to Shamrock via Main St. when I couldn’t get a cab (a girl has since been pulled into a car on that street I heard). I have a hard time sometimes associating this bubble we live in with the fact that it isn’t perfect and there ARE people out there just like in bigger cities who will think nothing of robbing or raping a dumb girl alone downtown in the middle of the night. So from now on, no more. I’ll get someone from work to give me a ride home (thanks for letting me leave alone all this time, jerks!). And I might get some Mace if I can figure out where to buy it. It just sucks, because I was enjoying my late dates with the Mall, bumbling through the empty patios, but eventually my walk home would turn into a police report.
Popularity: 26% [?]
Tagged as: Charlottesville, danger
I bought mace for my GF at the gun shop behind Kohr Brothers Custard on 29.
I like it Shen. Good post.
Mace is good in a perfect world…either join the NRA or learn something like this:
I often give the busboy at the cafe a ride home latenight because of troubles, and he’s a hefty dude who carries a straight razor.
Get a tazer, bro! Zappy zappy…
Shen…. you just need a giant door to door slip’n slide.
a girl I know was mugged in front of Fellini’s - at 9pm on a Friday last month.
/yeah, they caught the ‘tards
Leotards?
very correct Shen. we all should be more careful on our late night walks home.
/just had extended daydream about a cvillain Late Night League of Justice (and Non-sobriety) where the cvillain faithful are united in the wee hours to defend the stumblers and late night skinny ATM’s, laying low the potential perps with zombie strength, incredible wit, and all the leftover ray guns from the Space Party.
//where are my underoos?
I was going to say something funny but I worry when my sister works late and has to go home to an empty house. While I have nothing to help you with your walk home I can tell you to pay attention to your new home. Make sure you have good locks don’t leave windows or doors open and if your renting make sure the locks get changed. You never know who has a copy of that old key.
Or you could start dating a cop
@3: OMG that video is awesome. Although, if I had those kind of skills I would probably break them out at inappropriate times, like on my roommate when he doesn’t wash his dishes.
Or bad tippers.
Yeah Shen… start dating a cop and have twins and live in Forest Lakes. You know you want to…
*Shudder*
Snooky’s has mace. If I remember right, they have it in small or HUGE cans.
@14
Yeah.. keep an eye out for my iPod and car stereo while you’re there.
Hey Donk… didn’t you know Snookys is also known as Gadget-tat for Humanity? Share the wealth bro’.
1. shen, don’t shudder. Look at your older colleagues. That’s exactly where you’re headed. =)
2. I don’t agree with living in fear. I say, you can’t stop the pain once it comes, and it’s not your fault when it’s brought down on your head. So I constantly untrain myself from my American fear of everything. I walk alone. I leave my door unlocked. I sunbathe nude. And you know what, the only thing that determines whether I’ll encounter the headknockers of this world is pure chance. I will not let them rule my life. I will not live with that ball of ice in my back. I have lived 24 years and the only people that have knocked me in the head are relatives in my own home. That doesn’t mean I don’t think it will happen. I KNOW it MAY one day. So what? I’m also going to die one day. I’m also going to have a stroke or breast cancer or a heart attack one day. I’m going to crash my car someday. So what? I can’t let that future possible moment ruin the 3000 lovely late nights and sunny nude days between now and then. Fuck it. I will survive it. Everyone else has. Or they’re dead. Then it won’t matter to me. I will have squeezed every drop of sweet orgasm juice out of the navel orange of life. Cuz this is all there is. There are no 100 Rita Mae Brown-inspired hermaphroditic angels waiting to lick my pussy for eternity. There are no tearful reunions with nana in heaven, thank Goddess, cuz as I remember, she talked too much anyway and if I’m stuck in heaven with her I won’t be able to give her any excuses about having to study or go to work.
@17: NEVER and my post isn’t about living in fear, it’s about not being so naive. But I like your outlook.
@17, I agree you can’t stop the pain and it isn’t your fault. There is a difference between living in fear, the “knocking knees ohmigodwe’reallgonnadie birdflu terrorism home invasion l am totally irrational and unifomed” kind of fear and knowing you’re a member of a high risk group, that group being women. Women are raped murdered locked in basements trailers and cabins tortured burned alive and beaten. Not paying attention to your surroundings (skinny ATM) is lame. Thinking that paying attention to your surroundings is fearful is also lame. Driving around, Ive been paced by guys in other cars for miles, ive received unwanted attention in the form of comments and being followed home on foot, Ive been in fights. My friends and loved ones have been beaten and raped and tortured. Its real and its every where. Guys reading this, ask a woman you love, ask your mother sister wife or girlfriend if they have ever felt afraid, afraid for their lives, because of a man. I bet the answer is yes. You shouldnt live in fear, but when the time comes that you are afraid pay attention cause it will mean some shit is about to go down. Pay attention dont engage in high risk activities even if by not engaging you feel deprived. Respect the reality. Dont go out jogging at night with head phones on, dont play coy with strangers offering to help you with your groceries. Dont get totally wated around strangers who may want to harm you, be on the look out for people who do want to use you, notice the cars pacing you while you drive, the friend of a friend who cant take a hint, the violence that other people exhibit. Those observations can save your life.
sk a woman you love, ask your mother sister wife or girlfriend if they have ever felt afraid, afraid for their lives, because of a man
Nuff respect, but you women don’t have a gender lock on being sexual assault victims, and I find it sad when you all act like you do. I know you got numbers, but really, its a HUMAN issue.
/my umbrage, let me show you it.
True. ANYONE on the mall has got to watch it. I think women just have been raised to be more fearful.
do you have a daughter? not to be bitchy, but do you jog at night? how bout with earphones in? one other thing, when men are sexually assaulted and victimized, who do you think the aggressor will be? maybe another man?
@22 women should not be fearful but aware. Being in constant fear dulls you to true threats to your safety. Women arent afraid of the right things and CONSTANTLY sacrifice their safety so they dont appear to be rude. “sure, i’ll get on this elevator with this creepy guy at 1100 at night cause otherwise I may look rude” wtf? no dont do stupid shit like get in a soundproof box with someone who gives you the wiggins. put it this way: on the one hand you get in and the guy rapes you in the elevator, on the other you wait and take the next one and feel silly for being creeped out but nothing happens. which is preferable to you? and why is making that decision “livng in fear” its being aware. there are times when my alarm rings and times when it doesnt. i listen when it does go off because i pay attention to whats going on and where. Can I definitively point out where some decision ive made has altered my existence. No. But I also have not been dragged down any alley and forcibly sodomized or kidnapped strangled to death. So I think I’m doing ok.
Yeah, my post was about being unsafe and unaware.
do you have a daughter?
no. two sons. what difference does this make, though? they are immune from being victimized due to their genitals?
not to be bitchy, but do you jog at night?
jog? heh. no. but I am out late at night all the time, and have been since I was young. i know what it means to be afraid.
how bout with earphones in?
um, sure. but why?
one other thing, when men are sexually assaulted and victimized, who do you think the aggressor will be? maybe another man?
well, duh. but how is this at all relevant to the gender of the victim? oh yeah. its not.
Look, I am not trying to take away from the seriousness of hetero rape, nor am I trying to diminish the “added caution” that women have ingrained in them as women. Its just when this topic comes up it is often framed in terms of men ALWAYS victimizing women. Granted that may be the preponderance, but it is by no means the exclusive rule. And just as I would never marginalize the plight of your gender, I would ask that you do the same. You don’t have to, but there’s the request anyway.
And just so were clear, I have been sexually assaulted twice in good old “hetero” charlottesville alone, once verbally and once physically. I have been mugged by gun, knife and numbers. I have been threatened too many times to count. I have been beaten bloody by a gang of skin head girls in LA. I have been jacked up by a chinese gang. I have been shoved around by cholos. I have been in all manner of odd, scary situations, I know what the fuck I am talking about. I know what it feels like, and it aint good. Which is why when someone pretends like it doesn’t happen to guys, my umbrage emerges.
I’ll chime in real quick because I don’t know of any woman that doesn’t have some kind of creepy man story where they were fearful or afraid. I know of women that have been masturbated to in public, nastily hard core groped, spit at, locked in rooms by crazies, raped (both date and forcible by a stranger), as well as a million other weird ass things. As a man, it’s definitely not something I’ve ever had to worry about (although I was groped by King George once at Oxo;-)), but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for guys too. It’s just not as common for guys. I had one friend that was mugged near the mall (hit from behind with a blunt object, possibly a brick…he was knocked out) and I also work with a guy whose son a few years back was hit in the face with a baseball bat on his walk home from the corner. He had to have his jaw wired shut and reconstructive surgery. Both acts were totally random. So yeah, it happens, even here in Charlottesville. Maybe I’m naive too, but I don’t worry about it. I can understand worrying a lot though if I were a woman. It’s not fair, but it’s just the way it is. They just have to deal with more assholes on the regular.
I know of women that have been masturbated to in public, nastily hard core groped, spit at, locked in rooms by crazies, raped (both date and forcible by a stranger)
I have gone down all of those roads multiple times except for the forcible rape, and not just by men. San Francisco can be a hell of a town.
My point was, male OR female, don’t put yourself in stupid situations (i.e. walking alone late at night, tipsy, with cash)…
Take a breath shen, I am addressing Rose’s gender centric commentary. And my time would probably be better spent talking about otters, so I’ll drop it.
byo, I’ve seen plenty of dudes whacking it, just not creepily at me. I can tell you’ve dealt with a lot, and I understand the points you’re making, but I do feel that, on average, women have more to worry about in terms of safety, and I do think that women are at a “higher risk” for sexual or physical assault than men. Again, I think it’s unfair, but I also think it’s reality. And I also know that guys can be targets too, but I really would need serious statistical confirmation to think that the risk of random or sexual violence toward a man is even remotely close to the risk toward women. I don’t know for sure, but that would be my guess.
@29: Oh I know, just sticking in my .002. Your opinion is appreciated and actually stimulating discourse so please continue. Instead of talking about San fran though, do you have any stories about things you’ve seen on the Mall?
@31 hate to be that guy but .002 = 1/5 of a cent
I’ve seen plenty of dudes whacking it
?
(forgot to write @ 30)
@32 Unless she meant .002 of $10.
/Oh no, not another one.
@31 she must love lots of “0″‘
@34 Sure you did, Girth.
@32: Yeah, extra zero. That means my opinion is worth even less.
@33, I’ve seen it a few times at different festivals/concerts (saw two at Horning’s SCI in 2004…headstash!), in NYC once, and by busting in on two of my roommates (different roomies, yeah, it was horrifying…one had a sock over it, so not so bad, the other, well…). Oh yeah, and also at those swinger parties I used to attend in my younger years. The sex I was having was so hot that all the dudes there stopped banging to watch me on the job and whack to it
WHOA
@ 30 I totally agree about the numbers, and increased risk and all that. I just hate it when that brush gets so broad that no other, perfectly real, bristles will fit.
@ 31 OK, from the case files:
A- I was at a private function at Star Hill six years ago, where I was first introduced to moonshine. Needless to say I drank it like normal whiskey and became obliterated. At about 3 am, I decided to walk home to belmont (YO!) rather than driving my unweildly 67 dodge with bad brakes. I took the direct route, through then Garret Square. So I am strolling along at a thirty degree angle when I become aware of a car behind me, crawling at walking speed. It is a convertible mercedes benz from the 80’s. The top is down and inside is a CODPIECE (Creepy Obese Douchebag Preying In Egalitarian Charlottesville Evilly). He starts talking. Am I drunk? Can he give me a lift? What’s my name? Where had I been? etc. I know the routine, so I put on the best mask of obtusity that I can, given my condition. But then he takes it up a notch. Whats my cock look like? Can he touch it? He has money. Where do I live? How much? Can he come over?etc. I start taking stock of the situation. I cant run, let alone out-run a car. I cant walk home if he is going to follow me. I decide my only option is to go on the offensive. I scope him on the sly, and I think if it comes to it, I bet I can take him, but then again, when one is that drunk, one considers oneself bullet proof so who knows. So after one more rather rude proposition, I turn and scream obscenities at him saying that he is fucking lucky I am not some redneck homophobe with a concealed carry permit or his fat ass would be spattered all over the fucking windshield but I am not having his shit so he better step or its on. I can look kinda crazy when I want to, and I think he got the message cause he told me to fuck off and sped away. I did however take a roundabout way home and kept looking over my shoulder. Friendship Court, indeed.
B - Four years ago, was thrown against the wall at 216 by a man much larger and stronger than I and while he held his arm across my neck, he unzipped my fly and grabbed my dick. It took only seconds before I got an angle and pushed him away. I left in a huff. I have come to find out he has done this to others. He is no longer around town, least I haven’t seen him.
C - Just for gender parity, four or so years ago I had a rather forward and brutish woman straight up grab and fondle my junk at rapture one night saying “she wanted to see if it was true”, whatever that means. While this event wasn’t as scary, it was most unwelcome, and solicited a rebuking from me.
These are just sexually related events, just in charlottesville, and off the top of my head. There is so much more…
@39. Epic. Kangfirmed. Totally nershed headstash
!41: Dang. You get harassed a lot. A- Why’d you think it was a good idea to walk through Garrett Square? B- That guy must have been HUGE and C- You kinda gotta be proud that people wanna grab your goods, right?
@ 43
A: It was my first year in town, and I had no idea it was supposed to be bad. I still think its not *that* bad.
B: Easily six four and ripped.
C: I guess, kinda. But if I straight up grabbed some woman’s breasts “to see if they were real” I would be put in jail. Just sayin.
@44: A- I was gonna say. B- Wow. C- Touché.
Anything ever happen to you while walking down the Mall late at night?
@43 I concur, it is never ok to grope people, and while I assume shen was being fun and trying to lighten things up, the gender inequality of the stement is smacking, that itsok for guys to be molested cuz they should be proud.
@25 it would matter if you had a daughter becuae you would know hte constant mental vaccination required to send her into the world with even the bares tools to do deal, if you do that with your sons you are exemplary but most people dont. which leads me to why it is important to not walk around with ear uds in or headphones you deprive yourself of a sense that can warn you when you are coming under atttack. Why would anyone do this? I under stand its charlottesville, not berlin, lisbon or baghdad but really. Why train yourself into helplessness? Its not hard to be aware. Finally, the crimes against your person are horrible and no less tragic because you are a man but the fact that you were able to push the other guy off is kinda of a thing you take for granted. Not many women could, either through lack of preparation or terror or whatever. My point is you are not conditioned to think that some guy groping you is not a big deal, that your safety is unimportant. Or that you are never too unsafe.
All points are directed at women because I am a woman and can not speak to the experiences you had except to say that they are fucked up. It is not to deride or trivialize same sex sexual assaults. But it is my belief that women are frequently targets for violence purely because of theyre gender. The person locked in a cellar in Austria for twenty years and rapes repeatedly? A woman. The person locked in a trailer and rapes repeatedly then lit on fire in Wva? A woman. Its a high risk group and my points are to illustrate that to other members of the group. Im sorry that you had horrible things happen to you and i wish there were more people who took same sex assaults seriously in our criminal justice system. But my points are relevant foryou too. Dont deprive yourself of your senses, including common sense.
Rose: “Not paying attention to your surroundings (skinny ATM) is lame.” sorry, but wrong wrong wrong. You say you’re not talking about fear but that’s exactly what you all are trying to instill in Shebennigans. She has been walking home for YEARS alone and has never gotten hurt. That doesn’t mean she’s not aware of her surroundings. That means she’s never had anyone try to jack her. If she weren’t aware, she wouldn’t have been able to make it home. We live in Charlottesville, for cripes sike. We have one murder a year. I’m not going to pretend this is Beirut where I have to keep an ear open for incoming rape missiles.
We’ve all heard the stories. We all have friends who’ve been headknocked. Some of us have been headknocked. But the truth is if someone wants your shit they’re gonna get it. And it’s also the truth that it’s unlikely to happen to you more than once or twice in your life unless you hang around thugs. If I live my life walking with–if not “fear” then “caution” (same thing)–then the headknockers win. Actually they lose cuz they end up shot when they try to headknock. But your little brother also loses when you shoot him for jumping out of the bushes to prank you. The gun companies win. The politicians win. I don’t want them to win.
“high risk group being women” — sorry wrong again. Men are more likely to be victims of violence.
@48 youre right- men are primarily the perpetrators and receivers of violence (especially young men) but as with Byo you miss the point im trying to make.
Im not trying to instill fear, I’m trying to caution against that very thing because real fear is an ally, it warns you and forces your sympathetic nervous system to get jacked and aid your ass. Shenanigans readily admits that she has not been paying attention. She is lucky she lives in Charlottesville where the odds are in her favor.
But @48 the truth is, if someone knocks your shit around 9 times out of 10 you can think of something you missed that you could’ve changed. Not to say that its anyones fault but when you act careless no matter where you are you make mistakes where you get hurt. I’ve done it, missed signals or signs that may have warned me otherwise, luckily no “real” damage occurred. We all read people every day and predict reactions etc, (we do it when we’re driving) but violence happens when we refuse to read and interpret the signs correctly. When I say women are a high risk group I mean that they are conditioned to accept violence in their lives, in relationships etc and to risk their safety because they would rather not look rude. They are treated as prey by other members of the population, usually male. I dont on plan on spending every minute of my life in Charlottesville and some of the places life may take me may be dangerous. i would rather be in the mindset of knowing im paying attention and can care for myself no matter where i go than be oblivious.
1. It’s not smart to run in public with headphones period not only because of headknockers but also because you are less likely to hear traffic, your subway stop, your friend yellling “hi!” at you from across the street. Can’t tell you how many times I missed my subway stop cuz I was reading or listening to Ipod.
2. Men are statistically more often the victims of violence in general. And yes men are more often the perpetrators of this violence. I’ll bring out the stats if you want, but I don’t want this to become soc.men. This doesn’t belittle violence upon women, it just makes one think that maybe if we stopped neglecting to teach men how to avoid committing and receiving violence, then maybe we’d have less violence from men.
Rose, I’m so close to being with you. But wording like “violence happens when we refuse to read and interpret signs correctly” is blaming the victim. No. I can’t sit with that. Violence happens when someone wants to take my shit. My state of mind has nothing to do with it. Cuz I can be totally aware and cautious and he will still jack my shit. It’ll just be harder for him to do. I, the victim, do not control the state of mind of the violator. This conversation should now turn to how we can stop men from violating. There are so many conversations about how women can protect themselves. Enough. Let’s start filling the airwaves with conversations with violent men on how to stop themselves from acting and reacting with violence.
Considering the audience, I wanna talk about bar fights. It’s confession time. Begin.
Preach on, sister grape. I’m feeling you.
We treat male-pattern violence as if it’s an unavoidable, unclimbable wall. It is not. But we can’t analyze it too closely because we know that means taking it straight to the top: our violent government policies. Sure, Timmy, don’t get into fights on the playground. But once you’re in office I want you to bully the hell out of every nation whose shit you wanna jack. Pound ‘em. Kick ‘em. Kill ‘em. Ignore everyone who says you’re wrong.
Break yourself, fool. That’s my chain of oil fields.
a friend and i broke up a bar fight when two women tried to attack another friend’s wife. i was dressed like a bottle rocket, and he was wearing a banana suit with funny glasses/nose/mustache. it was halloween, and we looked ridiculous.
@51 I once knocked a guy off his bar stool. Does that count? He couldn’t understand why his oh-so-original lines weren’t working and started implying things about my morality and sexuality that really pissed me off. Since we both had had a few, it was rather easy for me to get angry enough to hit him hard enough that he fell flat out. What I found to be the funniest part was the police officer that was there wanted to charge HIM with assault. Go figure.
@54: I would’ve loved to see that, perhaps video taped, sped up to double time and with keystone cops music playing.
@55: you rock!
I have no fight stories of my own, as I am essentially nonviolent and am lucky enough not to have violence done to me.
Rose…I’m sorry to react so vehemently. Let me back down some cuz I usually am with right with you. I think what sparked me is the whole “don’t walk home alone” thing. Judging from what you write, you’re aware of sexual violence issues, and maybe you’ve worked on the issue, as I have. We both know that the “stranger in the bushes” is not the primary perpetrator of violence in most women’s lives. The father, the husband, the brother, the friend are. Yet we don’t, as a rule, talk about how to protect ourselves in our own homes. We have self-defense classes where the instructor during role play says “I’m attacking you from behind and shouting at you to give me your purse.” Well, what if the perp is more likely to say “Walk over here of your own free will or I’ll tell the world what a little slut you are” or “Tell anybody and I’ll kill mom” or “I love you…help me feel better” ?
For a lot of people, the late night walk home is 100 times safer than the destination. We take refuge in that night. That solitude. The stars can’t hurt me. The trees can’t hurt me. The breeze can’t hurt me.
@57: Yeah, I gotta disagree with you. I think the walk home alone could be quite dangerous. If you set yourself up for danger, which I seem to do by being tipsy, carrying cash, and walking alone late at night. That was the point: not setting yourself up for danger and keeping your wits about you. Even on the lovely “so safe” downtown mall…
It has nothing to do with who’s getting attacked or teaching men not to be so violent, but simply teaching people common sense.
@ 53 I guess there was no violence before our government invaded Iraq.
violence was invented by video games.
@60 The Germans invented violence
You know what I blame? Society.
Q.E.D. The Germans invented video games?
the internet created video games, and Al Gore created the internet, thus, Al Gore invented violence.
I wanna talk about bar fights.
Shenanigans almost got into a bar fight at Cassis last month. Was about to throw down on a boy.
@64 thus Al Gore is german! You have seen the “Boys from Brazil”, his mother was of german extract
Plus the german variant for Gore is Göring. As in Hermann Göring .
Al Gore is a NAZI game developer!
Hermann’s younger brother was (this is true) Albert Göring
My first bar fight:
I was at this bar in Fred-vegas and it was really crowded. I was trying to get to the bathroom and it was so packed I bumped into a dude in front of me. All of a sudden, I am yanked backwards across the dance floor by my ponytail. WTF? I turn around and this redneck bitch in leopard print with curling iron hair starts screeching at me,
“youdon’ttouchmyexboyfriendbitchyoudon’ttouchmy…”
Normally, I would explain it was an accident. But she pulled my hair. Hard. And it pissed me off. I replied,
“YOUDON’TPULLMYHAIRBITCH!”
To which she replied by throwing her drink square in my face.
I blinked as the cold liquid dripped down my face and everything went red. I promptly took MY drink and threw it in HER face.
It was on. She came at me with pinwheeling punches and hit me in the lip, making it bash against my teeth and bleed. I went into defense mode.
I tackled her. They had to pull me off of her. Then she got kicked out and I cried by the bar, putting ice on my lip.
@70 Nice story, well written and compelling- what about your second bar fight?
I’ve been in other girl fights but they weren’t in bars.
Man comments on this thread have gotten lllooooooooonnnggg. I can’t read them all…
my uninformed input:
I once had a girl at a party tell me to get the f&#@ out of my own house. I proceeded to pull her down to the ground by her hair and drag her out. Needless to say she cried and several of male roommate were mad. The cool ones praised me. Dumb girls-uck.
Sorry I had no bar fight stories-just house ones :S
I once decided to slap and scream, “You whore” at this 6ft tall amazon bitch at a party. She promptly came at me like Frankenstein and proceeded to strangle me against a wall until my friends pulled her off. Note to self: only start fights with girls of equal or smaller size.
@62 Let’s go do some crimes.
@76 Yeah. Lets go get sushi and… not pay.
Look at ‘em, ordinary fucking people, I hate ‘em. Assholes!
/should have a Repo Man party
Note to self: only start fights with girls of equal or smaller size.
That’s my core philosophy in life.
/the smaller the better
I proceeded to pull her down to the ground by her hair and drag her out.
I’ll be in my bunk…
/should have a Repo Man party
…and serve plates of shrimp.
@ #70 and #75 : Hmm, I thought Shen said she hates Rednecks…Did you tell your opponents that you work in a fine dining establishment? Maybe they would have slinked away in awe. Also, nothing says elegant fine dining like catfights in bars…
So, having a Master’s Degree and making BBQ makes one a redneck and bartending and getting in fights makes one…Audrey Hepburn?
@50-1 it’s not smart to listen to your headphones so loud you can’t hear anything, no matter where you are, because you’re probably going deaf. & people can probably hear your music, & it’s annoying the hell out of them.
what is ff’s problem with shen?
@ 85 Lover’s quarrel. Its best to just stand aside.
/Audrey Hepburn? I’ll be in my masturbatorium…
@83: So lurking and only commenting to ask inane questions makes one…a douchebag?
I defy the fear and hyper anxiety, I don’t see it as being stupid, I just recognize (haven perhaps been lucky never to have been assaulted in my life) that living in fear in your environment is more detrimental to you happiness than just living. People get killed and mugged and attacked during daylight hours as well as nighttime. It is a crime of cowards, intimidating and stealing.
I mourn you skinny ATM innocence my luvie.
ff: Are you trying to pick a fight?
@88 Let me break it down for you like this: I’ve done stupid shit in my day, walking home at night drunk from the bars. Ive been followed and luckily the bum who slept in my apartment building hallway was kind of a deterrent to the persistent bastard (”I’ll walk you home to keep you safe” etc) from the bar who was sure I wanted to sleep with him. Thats LUCK. I couldve been raped or killed. That is not a stretch. It was alarming.
After that I decided not to get so hammered at the bars, to get rides home and later in life I acquired other skills that assure me a modicum of safety.
It is stupid to risk your safety to prove a fucking point about how unafraid or liberated or real or confident you are. Because one day you’ll make a mistake. And sometimes it isn’t just you who will suffer. The people who care about you will also go through hell.
I am unafraid. because I have had encounters at work and in life with men bigger and tougher than me who I knocked the shit out of. But I still heed my own advice and don’t go looking for trouble. I dont give a shit if thats sounds like blaming the victim. Back in the day when I was scared of the guy who wouldn’t quit, I shoul’ve known better. It wouldn’t have been my fault but I would have been complicit by being stupid.
Sometimes shit gets brought I agree with Uva. Know what to do when that happens, even if it happens at home. But in my case, at that time in particular, my ignorance and complacency lead me straight to danger. Like evil Lassie.
Well, rose maybe I’ll take you number and I’ll call you next time I need someone to stroll with, because you certainly
is a few notches above maze and wax on wax off moves. I do would like to point out that there in fact are a few places in town where I don’t tempt destiny. But that is simply because others close to me have spend quite a bit of energy, instilling some fear in me, likely because they fear what you describe.
I truly do mourn the innocence, it saddens me when an otherwise dandy day is punktuated by a 911 call because someone unstable is hovering around my office building as it happens all too often. But letting in to the fear is paralyzing, when the reality is that statistics ould tell you that getting in your car riding up 29 would have you more likely mamed or killed and a 2AM stroll on the mall. I think there is a fine line between being selfdestructive and careless, and accepting calculated risk. Being smart is calculating and using gut instinct. But even with side airbags and seatbelts we still get killed.
Goodsilla Posterooni Shenirooni
@91 if you really wanna fuck yourself up, take a stroll around 29 and rio. Seems like theres a pedestrian hit there every other day.
/goddamn frogger. video games really are to blame