We need to hear some crazy/exciting/courageous/drunk/audacious/naughty/lively villain stories. I missed the “drunk posting” thread so much I had to recreate a similar post. What did you guys do last night? Saturday night?
I’ll start. I was strolling down the mall after watching a movie (it was to freaking hot to be anywhere that didn’t have AC) when I stumble upon Kiki’s replacement. I wander in for a quick drink. I make my way to the bathroom after the drink and wait a good 15 minutes. I am not the biggest fan of waiting. Finally a girl stumbles out of the bathroom with a sneaky grin. I head for the door and as I touch the handle a boy leaves the room. Oh my. What fun they had on a Friday night. Wait it gets a little better! I walk in the bathroom to not only discover they have a cool TV that allows you to view what is going on at the bar, but also the girl’s panties.
What an interesting drink I had.
Popularity: 34% [?]
Tagged as: Bathrooms, drinking, fun, Hot Interlude, Spying, stories, Weekend
I’ll keep my drunken ridiculous stories to myself for a change, but in the same vein as you missing drunk posting, I miss our weekly awkward date conversation topics. I could’ve used a few of those. Or maybe a few less?
Heh. Have you gone back.
My best stories didn’t happen in Cville, so don’t know if I should post them. I can’t pretend like this place gets snow. Or speaks with an Irish accent.
Lu, what I think we all want to know is…were the panties red?
/gonna be that guy, you “wander” not “wonder” into a bar
you’re a towel.
my best story was when i woke up on my hardwood floor this morning. my friend, who it turns out was playing a joke on me, told me that when you have a broken back it’s a gud idea to sleep on the floor. he and i are going to have a talk.
I shot myself in the head with a rifle made of flowers.
/needs a better gun
i read someplace that sometimes soldiers in the iraqi army respond to an ambush by firing erratically in all directions, with their guns on rock and roll and their hips on a swivel. their US trainers took to the calling the phenomenon a “death blossom.”
it’s a flower made of rifles.
death is beautiful. especially metaphorically…
/my life’s bouquet, let me show you it.
@6
did anyone else have a flash of ’80’s nostalgia at the mention of “death blossom”?
/can you believe they’re remaking “The Last Starfighter”?
Just remember, if you have an eighties flashback, flashback to the original, not some housed up remix. cVillains “strongly advise” this. All of them.
/this could be bigger than tartatre
it’s not that crazy, but i finally experienced Aqui Es Mexico tonight, and (of course) tried the Carnitas Burrito. DAAAAAAAMN!!! it was yummy. luckily, i have half of it for tomorrow.
i’m very happy for you
meanwhile, i just learned that i experienced tuna tartare this week.
postulate: “soviet russia” jokes are more funny than “that’s what she said” jokes.
i can’t remember the rest of the scientific method, so here we go:
“in soviet russia, tuna tartare learns about experiencing you.”
scientific method accoeding to wikipedia.
and i think i might paint a painting of you, b’yo, with a flower gun.
be well, all you c-villains.
oops. “according”
@11 thanks, orchid!
/doesn’t know the diff between tuna tartare and sashimi…
I just found out my front door was partially open, possibly all night, while I slept half naked mere feet away from it. bonus: I wasn’t even wasted last night, I apparently just enjoy taking chances with my life and wasting my A/C.
Speaking of remakes: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is going to be remade, most likely going the direct-to-DVD route, with none of the original actors. Yay for Hollywood and its idiot ideas.
Crazy weekend story: I played a four-hour-long wedding gig in North Carolina outside in 102° heat. Sweat! Cuh-rayzee!
I hope you wore tuxedo tshirt instead of a tuxedo.
19: Eff that noise. Drummers in-the-know wear a breezy guayabera. Breezy until you play, that is. Then it’s a thoroughly sweaty guayabera.
/ew.
there is no breezy clothing solution at 102. it’s all ew.
I stole the huge margarita glass my huge margarita came in from Guad after they turned out the lights on us after our meal. It was only 20 minutes after closing. Sorry, Guad but that was lame.
Some hotness barladies kept pumping me fulla Guiness and boozes and late night text messages. Golden Saturday, gals.
@23: No idea who you’re talking about.
I won 20+ straight games of cornhole, then kicked all the losers out of my party at 12:30, many of which didn’t have a ride home. I did all this while I ate cheeseburgers I didn’t offer to anyone else. Man those burgers were good.
I want to know what cornhole is but skeered to google it.
@22 don’t lie! You had your eye on that HUGE margarita glass long before they turned out the lights. I saw you caressing its voluptuous curves, pressing it to your bosom. You sucked the first one dry, then licked its rim until your second drink came. You worked your slender fingers up and down its icy shaft, playing with it until you had swallowed every drop. I KNEW you had designs on that margarita glass. I’m sure you’ve taken it home and locked it away somewhere, and even now you are fantasizing about pulling it out and taking another huge load on the next hot night.
@26 Cornhole is a game in which players take turns pitching small bags filled with corn (or sand or beans) at a raised platform with a hole in the far end. These platforms are usually plywood sometimes plastic and either all white or decorated with a team name or any other custom creation. A corn bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. Play continues until a player reaches the score of 21
Thanks, dieter.
Jay…. grow up. Now, i’m skeered. I think he’s Jimmy’s twin brother. How’d that work out, BTW?
@27, you copied that directly out of a Golden Girls script (Ep FP14) where Blanche Devereaux has a 45 second monologue to a glass of blush on the back patio while Sophia yelled something snarky out the window and Dorothy rolled her eyes.
/plagiarist!
@27:You should write erotica or something. Oh wait, you already do. How much will you pay me NOT to link to your myspace so everyone can read it?
@29 Gobbler re “grow up”. Sorry, not interested. Funny thing is, you probably think I’m making that up. Not true. I were there and the lady really was totally fondling a huge, frosty margarita glass. For like an hour.
I was, in fact fondling it. It was icy cold and felt good. But I only stole the glass because they turned the lights out on us and I still had some slushy deliciousness left.
@31- if you do that I probably won’t buy you your next drink. A thought which will probably give you pause.
actually, I’m sorry. I believe you. I just looked at myself in the mirror and decided I don’t have the authority to tell anyone to grow up. Carry on being internetty.
Dammit
Thanks for the 4 martinis at Bang on Friday btw
@37 You’re welcome! You Banged ‘em down, you did!
the successful end of my career hunt was celebrated at my first ever drag show followed by a trip to the gay bar. Makayla O’Riley is stunning and such a gracious host, um, hostess. inebriation was epidemic. any straight man at the gay bar (oxymorons?) tried to dance on me but i turned them down so i could grind on a short, chubby lesbianwannabe. i felt like jack sprat in need of v8.
my shiny new life demanded a shiny new celebration, and Roanoke provided venues far exceeding my expectations.