You guys that was a seriously hot weekend. And not just because of something that probably happened in politics or perhaps a war zone, but because the temperatures ran me over like a freakin’ steamroller. I mean seriously, kickball? Even the people hiding in the shade got a sunburn.
You know what, that’s not what this post is about. This post is about tubers! No, not:
And no, not tubers like:
…wuh?
Oh sorry, theres no wikipedia entry for “bonghit.” Sorry.
I’m talking about river tubers, the sunburned and inordinately drunk people you see in packs of 10 getting a late dinner at Maya on Saturday night, and being really loud about everything. And you know what? They earned it. Because this is America gawdammit, and when it’s hotter than 10 hells outside, you should be allowed to go plop your ass in a river and drink some beer.
When I lived in Blacksburg, and when time management meant trying to figure out how to juggle an equal number of credit hours and girlfriends… I needed a lot of recreational time. Starting around late April every year, that free time got funneled into a glorious little piece of heaven called the New River Junction. As far as life defining moments go, Being Surrounded by Hundreds of 18-22 Year Old Women in Bikinis is right up there with Birth and Death. I never accomplished anything, and I never learned anything, but I did leave with a deeply rooted understanding of how important it is every now and then to give up for one day, and go float down the river with your friends.
Did you?
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Tagged as: blacksburg, Charlottesville, river, towel, tuber, tubing
You’re a towel.
It’s been a while since I’ve done that, but it certainly is a great time.
So you had 0 credit hours then?
Seriously though, we need a cVillain tubing trip.
One of the kickball teams brought out an inflatable kiddie pool and 200 pounds of ice. That’s one way to do it.
http://www.cvillesocial.com/photos/060808/r_DSC_0108.JPG
New River Junction saved my life (and threatened it) many, many times. There are few places i’d rather be on a hot summer day than sunning on the rocks with a cooler full of beer and sandwiches. we didn’t even tube that often, just waded out to the middle and sat on the rocks for HOURS.
Parlie, i didn’t know you were a former ‘burger too. nice to know there are a few of us here (’sup, Gobbler?)
btw, James River tubing has NOTHING on New River tubing. just thought i’d throw that out there and see if i can’t stir up some B’burg/Radfor v. C’ville rivalry.
@7: as someone who’s never been to either, what’s the difference? we’re doing our trip through james river, who I heard good things about. any details appreciated.
wingnut @6,7 is right on the money. we were like hundreds of drunk, obnoxious seals on those rocks, and the river actually had RAPIDS! not to mention hokie women, who are second to none at any other virginia school. ahem.
also, shenanigans: weren’t you a virgin in college?
yeah, even as a former “..’burger” who enjoyed the comforts of the New River just downstream from the Radford Artillery toxic waste dump….
i think that the James River Runners do an excellent job with the shuttling service.
REAL tubers don’t need any shuttle service.
@9: Maybe. It was a girl’s school though. So I juggled more girlfriends than you.
at Radford, gilfriends juggled you.
yes! new river tubing was the best..and the rapids and rocks at the end were awesome…my roommate got all caught up in those rapids once and hit her head on a rock when she fell out of her tube…nothing serious but she vowed to never go tubing again.
did you guys ever go to to the quarry and jump off the rocks? I always wanted to go and never got a chance.
The James is fun too though..definitely looking forward to spending a few sunny days on the river
there’s nothing wrong with James River Runners, i’ve had a great time there, and would do it again in a heartbeat (might go 7/3), but the New River (or at least the stretch we used to tube in college) was nicer. less river grass to scrape your butt, better rapids, nicer places to stop and chill for a while, and a better class of people
@13 we never went to the quarry, but one time, after buying our own tubes and setting up a car at the end, we put in just up river from whatever the service there was called and floated down to a campground that had a beach. i think the whole trip took about 6.5 hours (including a little break on the rocks). it was fantastic.
oh, and Parlie, as i’m sure you know, truly zarkin’ froods NEVER forget to bring a towel.
SPEAK ENGLISH
sorry Shen, it’s a nerd reference. Parlie might be too cool and not get it.
oh man, i have no idea what that means.
Is it from The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
it is. never go anywhere withouy your towel.
/knew parlie was too cool
I’ve never tubed the James, but the New River Junction is paradise. I’ll be making a trip back to Blacksburg this summer, and tubing will definitely be on the list of things I must do.
so jealous, echo, so jealous. i haven’t been back to the ‘burg since 2000 and i miss it very very very much. hopefully, by the time the Peanut is old enough to go to a football game, i’ll be able to afford tickets, lodging and vacation time.
/misses the ‘burg, Champs, Sharkey’s wing buffet (supermugs!), London Underground, the drillfield
When I go, I’ll drink a beer at all of those places for you.
i appreciate it! i would tell you to stop by Bogen’s and tell them i said hello (waited/tended there ‘97-99), but i doubt there’s anyone who’d remember.
I heard someone wants to ride a tube.
wingnut.
i hear ya- i’ve long known that people will let me borrow anything, even a toothbrush if i have a my towel.
(hitchhiking all over everywhere, and i manage to keep my towel with me- i definitely have it together!) .;)
Wait a minute. Scoriole commented, and the sun is still up?! I assumed you were nocternal.
the towel is a multi-tool in and of itself, as i’m sure you’ve found out. you can suck on old stains for sustenance, used it as insulation if you’re cold, use it to flag down passing spaceships, it can be an offensive (in every sense of the word) weapon, it’s invaluable in defending yourself from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (by wrapping it around your head, the beast assumes it can’t see you if you can’t see it), and of course it’s great for drying yourself off when wet.
/always knows where his towel is (actually got a free towel in the trunk of the free car!)
sharkey’s moved into the spot where prestons (arnolds?) used to be. it’s slightly more nershified now because it has patio seating, etc, but that also means it attracts a lot more lunkhead fratboys and intolerable shreaking sorostitutes.
and TOTS doesn’t serve the rail anymore. evidently is was extremely illegal.
for those of you who are lost this might help
/thanks Nut…just wanted to share the joy and mystery
//move not without thy towel
yeah, the rail was HIGHLY illeagal. i had two on my 21st after having several drinks at Bogen’s before midnight. the rail was great though, especially on the nights it was only $5.00
/avoided TOTS in general (and Arnold’s/Preston) due to the lunkhead fratboy/muffin-topped sorostitute crowd
29-30: Might an inquisitive Wahoo bearing an olive branch inquire as to the contents of this storied Rail?
it had about 8 shots of liquor in a 32 ounce cup, all covered up in a “suicide” mixture of all the sodas and juices. everything on the gun, and everything in the rail.
I was supposed to go tubing yesterday, but didn’t because I had to buy some new clothes and pay my rent. Stupid responsibilities. The rail sounds tragically delicious though.
Is it too early in the week to start planning a villain day on the river? Saturday or Sunday? My canoe pulled an Edmund Fitzgerald on the Mechums a month ago which led to a 6 1/2 mile walk in the dark to the car, but its all patched up and seaworthy again now. I’d like to do Warren Ferry to Scottsville rather than WF to Hatton Ferry, but thats just my preference. Anyone???
ride a tube?
@26:
sometimes everyone has to change it up.
35: sunday.
doof, see you at Claw tomorrow fer sure.
We broke this down to a formula the summer I stayed in the burg at Tech. 3 friends + 1 case of Southpaw at $8.99 + 2 packs of parliament lights X the 2 to 3 girls we’d meet while floating = a good afternoon and a good start to the evening. The summer I spent there was one of the most relaxing and poor 4 months I’ve ever had on this earth. By August I was buying Nat light and smoking Winstons. I was buying damaged food and day old bread at the Food Lion next to my apartment. I had to borrow money for my weed, my bathroom tub resembled a rainforrest swamp, and the power bill was 2 months behind at all times!
As usual, I’ve said too much.
40: Too much? You new ’round these parts? Has the welcome wagon came around yet? If not, by all means help yourself to the Southpaw in the fridge, the Parliaments on the back deck, and there may even be a stray Cheeto™ or two in the cupboard.
Oh, and feel free to share and share alike. Welcome aboard.
is anyone else worried that parlie seems to be doing work around here all of the sudden? I blame the pregnancy hormones…
Too much is never enough. Amazingly I’m not drunky yet, but that could change when I get back from the store.
purdizzle is a dear old friend from the old fratlanders down south. he’s not kidding about any of that stuff. he once took a beerbong out of an old vacuum tube.
@42 i’ve been duped into letting on that i can actually be useful. this will end poorly.
purdizzle is a dear old friend from the old fratlanders down south
Well, hey, any friend of parlie’s is…probably drunk.
@45 don’t forget stoned and on copious amounts of painkillers
that’s the kind of math i can get behind, Purdizzle, and it sounds familiar. i spent three summers in the ‘burg and each one was pretty low on the financial scale, but high on the fun and relaxation scale (even with summer classes).
was the food lion in question by chance on North Main street? i used to walk to that FL on occasion, and one of my roommates was busted in the parking lot because the cops thought that carrying a case of dr pepper gave them reasonable cause to search his vehicle (underage posession of booze).
Having lived in B’burg and C’ville (but went to school in Wmsbg) I prefer the New River Tubing experience. But I won’t turn down the James River tubing. The water is colder in the New. And the current picks up when they release water from the dam at Claytor Lake.
[…] know the other day I talked about rivers, but that was a conversation mostly about all the places and ways one can tube on, get drunk on, […]