Beer Fraud Coming Soon To A Bar Near You

I was just reading an article in the WSJ about bars shrinking their beer output by some rather nefarious means…smaller glasses, more foam, etc…While I don’t do as much social drinking as I used to (damn kids) I know there’s more than a few folks on cVillain who would want to be on the lookout for skimping at our local watering holes. Of course, I do know that a few bars I used to frequent didn’t offer the wide array of brews the taphandles would lead you to believe they did (ever wonder why that Bud Light tastes a lot like Natty?). But at least you were getting a full 16 0z. of stale pisswater.

Have any of the other villains, both bartenders and bar lovers, seen this happening around town? Besides thinning margins it seems breweries around the country are facing a shortage of hops, which means we have to drink as much at South Street on Tuesdays as we can. Watch this video to learn more:

Photo from Flickr.

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46 Responses to “Beer Fraud Coming Soon To A Bar Near You”

  1. 19 Jun 2008 at 8:35 amVanillavy said:

    Here is to drinking more beer…lots and lots of sweet beer:

  2. 19 Jun 2008 at 9:11 amGobbler said:

    I knew there was a shortage, but I didn’t know it was that bad. It might be time to start a hops garden on the manor.

  3. 19 Jun 2008 at 10:00 amSuggestionBox said:

    “But at least you were getting a full 16 0z. of stale pisswater.”

    Except when you are served your beer in the false bottom glasses.

    http://www.baltimoresun.com/business/bal-pint0616,0,7104053.story

    Picture: http://www.webstaurantstore.com/libbey-5018-14-oz-paneled-beer-mug-12-cs/5515018.html

  4. 19 Jun 2008 at 10:13 amparlie said:

    all the finest hops that gobblington manor has to offer!

    gobblington?

    yes! gobblington manor!

  5. 19 Jun 2008 at 10:15 amWingnut said:

    the restaurant i used to work in (b’burg) used 11oz mugs, but we sold a mug for $1.00 during HH, so it wasn’t that bad, i guess. i’ve also seen and heard of places using the 12 oz “pint” glasses instead of 16 oz. they look the same and if there aren’t any 16oz glasses around to compare, it’s harder to tell. i have noticed, however, that these places don’t typically call them pints.

  6. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:00 amorchid said:

    those aren’t pints anyway. pints are 20 oz, dammit!

  7. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:13 amdave said:

    @6–Uhhh, on what planet/country is a pint 20 oz?

  8. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:15 amThor said:

    awesome land?

  9. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:18 amshenanigans said:

    Better watch your p’s and q’s!

  10. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:18 amStreet said:

    @8 Can you show me on google maps exactly where awesome land is?

  11. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:20 amThor said:

    http://www.google.com/sky/#latitude=15.11722&longitude=-34.448318&zoom=7&Spitzer=0.00&ChandraXO=0.00&Galex=0.00&IRAS=0.00&WMAP=0.00&Cassini=0.00&slide=7&mI=1&oI=3

  12. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:21 amecho said:

    @7: It’s called the United Kingdom. It’s this magical place across the ocean where they have 20 oz pints and 153 oz gallons.

  13. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:36 amsweet said:

    @11 Nice Thor…is that where you go for drinks when the company around here starts to pale? In space does your thunder still resound? As they say, in space, no one can hear you scream, lack of oxygen and all…bring your space suit with built-in taps.

  14. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:40 amThor said:

    I have a space-ready chariot with anti-gravity.

  15. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:46 amsweet said:

    How many MPG’s does a sucker like that get? I assume it runs on lightning or molten lava or something much better than dead dino juice.

  16. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:51 amThor said:

    We measure LYPG - which is about 2.5 per Gallon of E-85 Plasma

  17. 19 Jun 2008 at 12:06 pmshenanigans said:

    Enough nerdspeak– back to beer. That point the poster brought up about misleading taphandles intrigues me. I wonder if Mellow Mushroom does anything like that.

  18. 19 Jun 2008 at 12:06 pmThor said:

    I think it would be pretty hard to fake out hoppy beer lovers with Bud Light or something that doesn’t use a lot of hops.

  19. 19 Jun 2008 at 12:57 pmsweet said:

    It seems that a Cville wide investigation of taps is in order. I am calling echo. Beer twin powers, activate! Thorough research methods will be applied. I was looking for a summer project anyways.

  20. 19 Jun 2008 at 12:59 pmecho said:

    @19: My head says that is a terrible idea, but deep down inside, I know it to be a fantinominal idea. When do we begin?

  21. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:19 pmshenanigans said:

    Listen to your heart, echo, listen to your heart.

    /fuck! now that roxette song is in my head

  22. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:39 pmecho said:

    @21: You’re not allowed to talk about music over here. Take that crap to MUSE.

  23. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:40 pmoy said:

    echo - did you roofie me last night?

    /only half kidding

  24. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:42 pmecho said:

    I tried to, but I think in my drunkenness I accidentally put it in my drink.

  25. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:53 pmoy said:

    that explains it, had some of your beer when you weren’t looking…

  26. 19 Jun 2008 at 1:55 pmecho said:

    And none of the ladies from your platonic harem took advantage of you?

  27. 19 Jun 2008 at 2:06 pmStanley said:

    now that roxette song is in my head

    Why? Why did you just do that to me?

  28. 19 Jun 2008 at 2:09 pmshenanigans said:

    @27: Ack! You just put it back in my head! Damn you!

  29. 19 Jun 2008 at 2:10 pmWingnut said:

    @6 Orchid, i thought US pints were 16 oz and Imperial pints were 22oz?

  30. 19 Jun 2008 at 2:12 pmecho said:

    Mr. Nut, Almost 20 ounces.

  31. 19 Jun 2008 at 2:35 pmsweet said:

    @20 I see no reason why we cannot incorporate this into the weekly activities of organized drunkness. Go sharpen your pencils, find a notebook, we are hitting the soggy streets on a mission of vital importance to all libators in town…where is the beer fresh and true…leave no tap untipped.

    (Roxette songs NOT included)

  32. 19 Jun 2008 at 9:44 pmwingnut said:

    thanks Echo!

  33. 19 Jun 2008 at 11:30 pmsimon kenton said:

    @17…you must be a mind reader. i was once told by a friend of mine who worked at MM at the time that all of the taps that spewed light american lagers were connected to either natty or PBR kegs. i doubt anyone would be so bold as to pass off those beers as IPAs or whatnot. but who knows?

    another tip…if you’re ever in the uk or ireland, there’s no difference between the regular guinness and the guinness “extra cold” taps either. that’s just the limey pubkeeps fucking with us yanks.

  34. 20 Jun 2008 at 12:49 amorchid said:

    @33 i used to work at a place with $5 pitchers of miller lite, MGD, & icehouse. customers made such a big deal about which one they ordered, but we just gave them whatever was sitting on the bar.

  35. 20 Jun 2008 at 1:34 pmkirby said:

    Nothing at Mellow is falsely advertised by tap handles. The only thing that happens is that PBR runs out occasionally and people are forced to order Bud Light pitchers, which is apparently far too expensive for homeless people to sip upon. Understandably.

  36. 20 Aug 2008 at 3:39 pmChampe said:

    Maybe Mellow doesn’t falsely advertise tap handles, but they are NOT accurate on the volume of beer in the glasses they serve. The beer list/menus state that they are pints, which would be 16 oz in the US, when in actuality they are 14 oz when filled to the brim!

  37. 20 Aug 2008 at 5:00 pmshenanigans said:

    Lots o’ places do that.

  38. 20 Aug 2008 at 5:26 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    I’m sure it happens. A shame.

  39. 20 Aug 2008 at 6:16 pmcolfer said:

    Say what you will about recently deposed bar captains of the Republican stripe, but did the Bistro ever short you a beer?

  40. 20 Aug 2008 at 6:22 pmbelmont yo said:

    So Mr. Freeze… over from RnR, are we? Wise choice. Made the voyage myself a year ago and haven’t looked back.

    /the parties are better over here…

  41. 20 Aug 2008 at 6:40 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    Yes, with more people and busier! Hopefully no one persecutes me over here. :)

  42. 20 Aug 2008 at 6:43 pmChampe said:

    @37 - Then they should be called on it. It’s deceptive and wrong. A place that puts as much emphasis on beer and beer selection with umpteen taps, as does the Mellow, knows better. I’ll bet that not many of the “tons o’places” in town that use smaller glasses advertise them as being pints.

    @39 Alas, the bar captain of the Republican stripe was not deposed. He rules the roost now, such as it currently is. But you are correct, he would never short you a beer.

  43. 20 Aug 2008 at 7:15 pmFloozy said:

    @41 Anti Friz OMFG are you really Jesus? Check your head for thorns and hands for stigmata… then get your fucking ass over to my house as I have run out of wine and need you to convert some Tropicana into NZ Sauvignon Blanc.
    /Hurry the fuck up pliz.
    // help yourself to loaves and fishes… or there is beer in the box marked ‘Catholic Digest Monthly’
    ///welcome to Cvillain and please don’t drag any of that RnR detritus with you. We haz standards… admittedly low but standards all the same.

  44. 20 Aug 2008 at 8:30 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    If I could turn water into wine I wouldn’t be on the internet so much. I won’t. RnR was for entertainment, I really do like my city…

  45. 20 Aug 2008 at 8:58 pmparlie said:

    if i could turn water into wine i’d never leave the bathroom! right guys? yeah!

  46. 20 Aug 2008 at 9:13 pmFloozy said:

    @44… Can’t comment on a lot of content over on RnR… just know that the IQ is several orders of magnitude higher over here, and we don’t tolerate CAPS LOCK POSTERS very politely. Elitist? FUCK YEAH.

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