Today I called into work sick. Am I sick? No. I had several appointments and the sun is shining brightly. My bosses think I am lying in bed, but in reality I am eating lunch on the Mall. I used an illness as an excuse for my being absent today.
I often tell my friends that they should tell their bosses they have green spots and just can’t make it to work. They never listen to me and generally devise a slightly more believable excuse.
What do you guys tell your bosses? Sometimes the “sick” act can be difficult to play off. Other excuses such as death can also get tricky.
I suggest a national green spot day.
Popularity: 57% [?]
Tagged as: Ill, Sick
food poisoning is always a reliable one.
or just a simple “i don’t feel well, i think i need to rest, see you tomorrow!”
Priapism.
/works every time.
I have never called in sick.
This little thing called a work ethic makes it difficult for me.
This little thing called a work ethic makes it difficult for me.
Said the most voluminous poster on this board from nine to five.
/snicker.
I have never called in sick either. If I did, they would make me work at home, so I just come in late when I feel the need.
Ooh, I sounded like Ethan. Sorry. But for real, I would feel too guilty.
@5: Um, I’m here if they need me. Not my fault that French people don’t call every five minutes.
I’ve absolutely, under no circumstances ever played hookey. Why is it called playing hookey?
I work at least 60 hours every week without fail. I have asked for two days off in the last ten months. I have work ethic too, unfortunately it is accompanied with workaholicism. It is far less fun than alcoholism.
Tuesday, you of all people I know deserve to play hookey. You actually work at work, and you are underpaid and under-appreciated. Spend at least part of your day looking for a better job.
Ohhhhh context. 60 hours? Holy shit!
I think most bosses who hear you have either an upset stomach or mild food poisoning simply assume you are too hung over to work.
I tend to come in late instead of take a full sick day if I’m just not feeling up to working. If I’m sick, I’ll stay home, but then I usually work from home because, well, staying home sick is kinda boring. If I need a full day, I take one, but I take a vacation day. I always enjoy those days more than the ones I plan to take off.
Yeah if you work in a restaurant and call in, everyone assumes you’re hungover or being an asshole. So you gotta show up sick. But then you get everyone else sick.
Nothing wrong with taking a mental health day.
My usually excuse is a nasty sinus headache, because it it something that can clear up in a day.
Work ethic eh? I feel your pain. Lessee…
Day job 730-530 weekdays = 50, avg gigs per week 2, including set up and breakdown 5 hrs each =10. Freelance work about 8 hrs a week. So that’s about 68 hrs a week on average.
Single parent - thurs-sun… “nights off” per week? 2, and are used to sort through obnoxious eighties remixes to piss off those with pre-prepared dance moves, fix my aging house, mow the fricken lawn etc.
/i need a vacation. i think i feel some green spots coming on.
echo, I can’t believe you didn’t share with everyone our latest favorite. You can tell your bosses you are suffering from…
anal glaucoma: “I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
No, you messed it up. It’s anal glaucoma because “I just can’t see my ass coming into work today.”
Thanks for the reminder.
Damn.
/working too hard
I solved that with my employees. No sick pay. Ta…
Oh, and your fired.
So easy.
@20: Fired for being sick? What if they are legitimately sick?
Whoah. Remind me never to work for danpri. Its like a Dicken’s novel up in his heezy.
Remind me not to work for someone who doesn’t know the proper use of your/you’re…
@21
Stopping whining and get your job done then go home. I stayed home sick in 1972 for 3 days, but had the chicken pox and mom would not let me go to school.
@24: I’m just surprised you haven’t been hit with a wrongful termination lawsuit. I’ll gladly come into work when I have the flu. I’d be sure to spend about 30 minutes in your office, but I’d come in.
/Has never taken a sick day,
Stopping whining, y’all!
@26: Are you the only one allowed to whine?
Stopping whining and get your job done then go home. I stayed home sick in 1972 for 3 days, but had the chicken pox and mom would not let me go to school.
Shall we get off your lawn as well? I mean what with our skateboards and hippity hop music…
@27: I was mocking danpri. He has the typo pox. He needs to take a day off.
Yeah I know, but everyone else was whining, so I thought I would too.
Did your dog poop in my yard!
Actually that was me. shen said I wasn’t allowed to poop in the woods anymore.
Well, the stools were solid so you cant be sick…
@33: Don’t touch the stools! You’ll get the green spots. And then you’ll have to fire yourself.
danpri was the annoying kid in elementary school who got the perfect attendance award.
danpri was the annoying kid in elementary school who got the
shit kicked out of him on a daily basis…
@36 yeah, those were usually the same kid.
bah, if that kid in your school was able to make it in the day after an ass whuppin’, you must’ve had some wussy bully’s (or been a Yankee)
I am genuinely unable to work today. Since I am my own boss I stood in front of the mirror and told myself I was not fit for work. Now whether it was the pain meds, my slouchy posture or just the way I said it, I thought I sounded like I was lying and fired myself. Should I sue? I don’t care what it costs, I just don’t want to let myself get away with this abhorrent treatment of an employee.
/totally tripping on Vicodin
Most jobs give you a certain number of paid sick days per year. As far as I or any other employer should be concerned, what you do with your sick days is of absolutely no interest whatsoever. I think it is funny to hear the excuses, but face it, we were employees too at one point, and we’re not idiots. So call and say you’re taking a sick day. You don’t have to make up a reason.
I called but my phone was engaged.
@35 and 36….
LOL! My two oldest boys go 6-4 and 6-5 and trust me, they still call me sir, right now into their thirties. I was the one in HS that did not give a crap what anyone thought and trust me, no one ever tried to puff up. You two….well, your must be the smarmy wusses that got all big and swollen when surrounded with your buddies…
My point is simple. If your not sick you go to work.
And busting chops around here is kinda fun.
@40. They give you those days to be sick. You did see the name of the “day.” Too many companies tried the PAL days school of thought (which you seem to assume) and the impact to their FTEs was pretty bad. Your through pattern is what has lead to the Gen x….the slacker generation perception in the minds of so many.
Yeah- I am a middle aged old bastard with little patience for such stuff, but hey, I could retire today if I wanted to due to the little thing my Dad always told me…”The harder you work the luckier you are.”
“you’re” = “you are.” thank you.
One time at work I was knocked unconscious, vomited on myself when I came too and needed 22 stitches to close the wound after my skull was visually checked for cracks (who needs xrays?). But that was just the morning and my 24 hour shift had just started. Since I wasn’t technically sick, i still had to finish my shift when I left the E.R.
Since shit rolls downhill, when I climbed the ladder a bit, a guy called in sick from the ER with a “broken arm”. I made him find a ride and come all the way to work (45 minutes) and show me a doctors note and his cast before I would let him stay home. He still had to come to work the next day too.
I also made a guy who was late cause his car was stolen show me the police report and I still wrote him up for being out of uniform. The uniforms being in the stolen vehicle. Later to be found at the bottom of the bay, in the car just like the guy said. go figure.
wow…seems a little harsh…I would think some compassion in situations like that would go a little father…I mean if the guy broke his arm his cast is gonna be on more than a day or 2 so you’ll know if he lied when he comes back…as for sick days I agree with Sportsman, giving employees a certain number of sick days seems to make the most sense…if they use them for other things and then run out then fine, they come in sick.
Yeah, it was harsh. Kinda the deal when you’re in the military and act like shit bag all the time. Thems the rules, gotta have a note and gotta report for duty before you go to the doctor.
@43: Thank you! And what the hell is a “through pattern”?