It’s come to my attention recently that the discussions on our fair board, particularly those of a frivolous yet mindlessly entertaining nature, are somewhat hard to break into. In fact, I’ve tested out a few aliai (yes, aliai, i made it up) in the past few weeks and found being a newbie somewhat boring, as all the jokes are extremely “inside” and hardly anybody takes the time to explain things. At best, you’ll get a link to an obscure, context-less archived post, which usually serves only to make things slightly more confusing.
But I’m not here to lecture anybody. I’m here to BE that archive to which we refer people. At the risk of making this site even more self-referential, I propose that we open this up to new people (there are 1400 readers today, ahem) to throw their proverbial hats into the internet. We’ll do it like this: I’ll make several broad, sweeping generalizations about cVillain and some of our favorite people, and then you all can jump in and talk about whatever it is… you DO here. I got all dolled up and used capital letters for this post, so help me out. Chime in with your own thoughts on cVillain, and let’s see if we can drag some new friends out of the tubework.
Regarding the blog:
- thor and lilith started cVillain.com one day (april 19, 2007) because… i really have no idea. but it turns out they had the right idea.
- thor is still here, and lilith has left a legacy yet to be fulfilled. we miss her.
- there is no “right time” to start commenting.
- don’t know where to begin? say something outrageous to floozy, shenanigans, belmont, gobbler, or myself. you’ll be in the spotlight right away!
- want to have your own spotlight? tell a story that contradicts the popular opinion. we don’t give a damn as long as its funny and unharmful. [read “the code”]
Regarding a few regulars (click their name for a list of their posts):
- belmont yo is a dj about town and a blogger of note. he can be found in equal parts spinning parties, and spun at parties.
- a 50/50 mix of outrageous and hilarious, nobody has any idea who floozy is. lately though, she also added guarded compassion to her quiver of arrows.
- shenanigans is pretty cute, but only in real life. on the internet she likes to start fights and fling poo. i’m just kidding, sort of.
- stanley writes a lot, but the breadth and depth of knowledge displayed in his writing tells me everything i need to know: stanley is wikipedia.
- gobbler is a fellow who started commenting with the express purpose of sullying my good name, as if i needed any help with that. he also writes posts.
- i am parlie, and long ago decided that i didn’t care if people know who i am. the results have split down the middle between silly fun and abject terror.
- i’ve left out A LOT of people. i’m sure they’ll all be furious.
Regarding yourself:
- anonymity is something you’re going to have to decide on your own. if you’re not sure, it’s probably best to start out secret since the river only runs one way, nah’mean?
- if you ever feel like people are ganging up on you, remember: a room full of (internet) people yelling at you is like a room full of puppies wagging their tails and peeing on your feet. all you feel is the pee, but deep down, they’re happy to see you.
- make jokes!
And welcome to the internet.
Popularity: 37% [?]
Tagged as: belmont yo, caroline, cVillain, floozy, Gobbler, Internet, lilith, parlie, shenanigans, thor, welcome
The internet is full of strange sites and stranger people. Good luck!
I’m apalled at your opinion of me, however accurate your assement may be. I also like to make fun of Wahoos. Wahoos blow. See?
lame.
glad you could join us. your opinions are delightfully monosyllabic!
oh man, I love this. Like for realsy. In return for this awesomeness, I resolve to take everything less seriously. puppies!
Yeah. The puppy analogy is great.
/I still hate you so much, parlie.
this has inspired me to change my name. everyone should do the same today. don’t make it a guessing game.
THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!
Here on the internets it’s important to dress appropriately. And remember if you really want to insult someone put a
at the end of your comment. (it confuses the moderators)
i’ve left out A LOT of people. i’m sure they’ll all be furious.
smells like “Fuck you parlie” is about to become the new cville meme
/fuck you parlie
Regarding the internet:
It’s not a big truck that you can just dump something on. Its a series of tubes.
@9 yeah!
that’s what i say to myself every morning, right before i crawl out from under the coffee table, drink my whiskey breakfast and head off to my job as a weapons technician.
Dear Internet,
I’m here.
Sincerely,
Smiley
oy, looks like parlie only included the people he’s slept with.
/thecodethecode!
@13
Nope.
I fix your site when you get drunk and trip over it.
This post reminds me that I’ve been very grumpy lately. Sorry, internet. It’s not you; it’s me.
Also: come out of the woodwork, lurkers!
Pretty cute? parlie, you’re a towel. Lilith would have never allowed this to happen.
@16 no I’m going to keep lurking …and I’m not a termite
get him shen
But for realsy, here’s my bio:
Shenanigans is the offspring of a Native American mother who was an exotic dancer and an Irish father who had a Singing Telegram business. She lives under Market Street wineshop with her 7 cats and 2 invisible pitbulls. She likes to drinks expensive champagne while eating Cheetos.
that’s not the real nanigan’s - they misspelled scrampagne…
Bitch, where’s my money?
And P.S. y’all my DAD is one of the lurkers.
Hi, ShenDad!
@21 also to live under the Market Street wineshop would mean she lives in the sewers. It would be unwise to suggest such a thing.
do you think I’ve been avoiding you cuz I gave up alcohol? Get real…
I was not going to justify this post with a comment but OY GAVE UP ALCOHOL?! What?! Lies.
see? tuesday just peed on my feet. she likes me!
I’m on a new alcohol diet - I only drink when in the presence of Tuesday.
The health of my liver depends on you.
/did I mention that my liver is an asshole and I want it to die?
ps Fuck you Parlie
You may as well append my name to that list now.
this morning donk?
oh man, parlie, you were 26 world weren’t you? the most lovable newbie to enter in weeks was just parlie in disguise. *sigh*
mc, I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended. But then, that’s often the case.
offended
I don’t think it’s parlie..
But, it is nice to see 26 world still around. Proof that participating is easier (read: more addctive) than it looks.
flattered! I have a long history of actually liking parlie. And so, by extension, I like you. yay!
(read: more addctive) than it looks.
I can quit anytime I want!
the day i don’t get a buzz from commenting on the internet, is the day i quit forever.
wait, i meant heroin.
37: The internet methadone equivalent is called books, and they’re neat, and you can “comment” (sort of) by writing things in the margins with a pen or pencil.
Nobody does heroin in C-ville. Don’t front.
In Soviet Russia, heroin(e) does everybody!
26 is way hotter than parlie
What about the people who have disappeared? What happened to 2 o 4, Doof, Upstart, Layla, Clarence, Magic Rat, Jay la Tete, eduardo?
i changed my name too
its more appropriate
Was this post intended to encourage new commenters?
Dad?
@44, yes. or feedback from lurkers, which i guess is the same thing. are you new?
@42: I have a theory that the internet is finite. So for every Odie and five (hi guys! I actually don’t know how new you are!) we lose a 2o4 and Upstart. It doesn’t bode well for the spicy bear business model, or the current shine a light on lurkers program, but it seems true.
Not to the world.
I like lurking… it’s a little like watching a sitcom.
gosh, I miss good sitcoms. thanks guys!
“gosh, I miss good sitcoms. thanks guys!”
David Archuletta, is that you?
ooh, nah. just another local recluse.
I hear theres a few few of those ’round here
i’ve often compared this site to “the real world,” except i’m not on steroids, bipolar, a date rapist, or possessed of any of the myriad personality disorders that make mtv’s narcissists so incredulously watchable.
sorry, that sentence got away from me.
just another local recluse.
Awesome! I would suggest that we hang out, but that would be absurd.
@53:
and you’re never absurd.
/ducks outta the room
//”quack quack quack”(waddle waddle)
someone rang?
ya’ll quack me up.
@44, 46:
we’ve been lurking. but then, we tend to be voyeurs.
glad parlie addressed the topic of new commenters. have enjoyed this place for a while!
PARLIE SUX!
/drives back to his office.
oh, i was wondering who was out there, clucking and scratching the dirt. it was gobbler. pecking for corn in the dirt.
What does Parlie suck?
that’s a really weird question, mister.
Parlie…. I am truly honored by my inclusion on this auspicious list. Could we try and establish the Cville equivalent of Hollywood Boulevard and have a row of golden assholes emblazoned with our names, imbedded in the pavement along the Downtown Mall. Just a thought. Kyle? Fran? I am thinking sponsorship opportunity.
/ Do you HAVE a PR machine?… Shenanigans Ass™
that was a jewel-encrusted floozy post, for those of you just tuning in.
auspicious, indeed.
and have a row of golden assholes
more like asspicious, if you ask me.
/see ya on the dance floor biznatches!