So I was at a local bar tonight—no, I’m not going to tell you which one—and had this interaction:
Dude: Hey, do any of you guys have a bowl?
Me: Pardon?
Dude: I said, do any of you guys have a bowl?
Me: Uh, no. Sorry, man.
Wow. That’s brazen. I mean, I don’t care. But wow.
Consider this your funny-bar-story thread.
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Is that really such a brazen question considering you’re at a bar on a late-night tuesday/wednesday morning? or any night, at that? people need to get their blaze on, dammit! perhaps you just look like spicolli ordering a pizza when you’re on your cell phone in an alley way…
i was just onCL looking for potentil roommate and maybe i’m just not in the right space to process this, but:
(quote):Me and my fiance need a place to live with our male kitten. If anyone has anything out there that they could help us with. We do get 300.00 in food stamps and we will help with that and we can give you 130.00 right now and more next week if that’s what you need. Thank you so much
(/end quote)
/does this mean they would like to pay in food stamps?
/rathered i lived in my van than post such a query to strangers, let alone friends.
//definitely not down by the river.-just to head That comment off.
///but are they looking to pay in (non-transferrable) food stamps?
and why do they have a kitten?
cats don’t like to live in cars.
I think it was just a perfectly innocent request for a bowl so he could indulge in an emergency supper of nutritious cereal. Did you check for a box of Honey Nut Cheerios under his arm? Some 2%? No…. just jumped to conclusions as usual.
Shame on you Stanley.
I got a similar solicitation yesterday at around 5PM. I was walking on the mall and this dude asks …
Dude “What time is it”
Me “Um, about 5PM”
Dude “Where can you score the good dank”
Me.. Walk Away
@2, Floozy does make an insightful observation.
Excellent point, Floozer. As it was, I had only a dessert plate, my cheese knives, and a tea cup. I was not at all prepared to supply the full accoutrements to a cereal killer.
Well, what’s the point if you’re not going to say which bar? I need to score, man!
Stanley, are you really all that surprised that Parlie asked you for a bowl at the bar?
Stanley, and take this with a gram of salt, perhaps you just look like the kind of guy that carries a bowl around in his pocket.
@4. I figured the god of thunder would know at least ONE place to score some nersh.
perhaps you just look like the kind of guy that carries a bowl around in his pocket
The guy’s reaction was, “I mean, I had to ask,” so you might be onto something there, Gobbler.
plus, you have to consider that gobbler just offered you a gram. maybe you need to start thinking about a “retreat,” stan.
Wait, wait, wait. You mean I am not supposed to solicit to drugs on the mall?
I bet it was a cop.
14: If so, I embrace our city’s finest’s newfound liberal position towards recreational “cereal eating”.
@12, I heard you were soliciting red pantie donations.
Loosely related:
I have a friend who had a key chain made out of a spoon. We were at a bar one night, and some guy saw it and said “Is that for freebasing heroin?” She gave him a WTF-look and said “No, it’s a key chain.”
*“No, it’s a key chain for freebasing quaaludes”
I do not free base cocaine
It was C&O!
No, wait, I mean Tea House.
Wrong thread Shen LMAO
20-21: I will not grace your idle speculation with either confirmation or denial, shenanners.
No, I’m talking about where Stan got propositioned for pot. The Roofie-ing happens at Blue Light, Cassis, and Bizou.
@23: Cuz I’m right. Hey everybody, potheads hang out at the Tea House!
Potheads hang out at the hookah bar? Shocking!
They are called teapots.
@24: I’ve heard of another place not on your list. It’s happening everywhere.
@28: Not cool. Let’s talk about it in the other thread.
29: Yes. Don’t sully my high-minded pot-smoking thread with your bad-drug talking.
I’m gonna start asking people if they have a towel. Even though, I always remember mine. But sometimes I forget and leave it at parlie’s house, where it always seems to get sucked up by the vacuum…
…in his head.
@31 is a most appropriate comment springboard for me to launch rumors that Scowly™-brand towels may be in the works for qualified ‘Villains.
qualified?
34: I’m sure you’d make the cut, mc. That is, the cut of this wildly speculative and hypothetical and likely very-far-off-in-the-future-if-at-all scenario.
I’m not gonna inhale and not exhale waiting for those towels. I’m still waiting for the Scowly Stickers. Common already, spicey bear. Let’s do some marketing…. and…. (back to topic) drugs.
Whoa, looks like this IS a seller’s market! Sounds like this town’s a little dry, eh folks?
You just gotta know where to look, breh.
@37: Do you have a bowl?
Or a fish platter?
@stanley – and then you fashioned him a smoking device out of a used soda can and a few scraps of aluminum foil….right?
Wait ..what
You folks been lookin’ for me? It’s kind of early …can I hit you back?
41: Nah. We MacGyver’d a bong out of a guava and some bendy straws we found on the street. Then we all smoked heady nugs and it was wicked rad. Except I’m lying.
smells like updog in here
I once saw a dude make a bowl out of an apple. And it worked quite well. So I’m told.
Stanley, do you have an apple?
WHAT’S UPDOG?!
/no apples here
My dad made a bong out of an apple for some of my friends at beach week, then he asked them not to tell me about it. Of course they did…. 5 years later. Oh big secret, dad! You smoked dope. Who hasn’t?
/scarred for life.
My dad used to keep a bong stashed behind the couch when I was a kid. I asked him what it was and he told me and after that everytime someone came over I screamed, “There’s a BOMB behind the couch!” and would run over and point at it.
What’s with all these homemade bowls and bongs? Doesn’t anyone keep a paper in their wallet?
You smoked dope. Who hasn’t?
About half of us.
You know, mc, it’s entirely possible that the other half of us partook and are now experiencing a bit of short-term-memory failure.
/not me of course but the rest of us
Or didn’t inhale.
or have old-timers
54: a joke!
A guy goes into the doctor to get his test results. The doc says, “I have bad news for you. You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer’s.”
The guys sighs with relief: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer!”
s@ 36 I’m not gonna inhale and not exhale waiting for those towels. I’m still waiting for the Scowly Stickers. Common already, spicey bear. Let’s do some marketing…
I assure you, there are multiple projects in the pipeline. Be patient padawan.
Stan… what’s that little thingy on post 56?
Oh good joke by the way… here’s a variation…
Old guy brings his wife of 50 years to the doc because she is acting strangely. Doc runs tests and delivers the bad news.
Doc: “Sir, we have narrowed the diagnosis down to 2 possible conditions… AIDS or Alzheimer’s”
Old guy: ” Well how are you going to find out which one it is?”
Doc: ” Well your Medicaid is maxed out for the year so we advise you to take her off in the car an leave her on the side of the road a few miles away, and if she finds her way home, for Gods sake don’t fuck her”
/submit compaints to Stan… he started it.
@51 Which portion of the “half” that don’t admit to smoking dope don’t care whether or not the other half does?
I think this is the most interesting thread we have had in a long time. Aka I am thoroughly entertained. Yay for reviving the internets or better roofing/drugging her.
I once used a clean tampon applicator to smoke out of…not one of my better decisions. Looking back I am somewhat appalled. Oh high school.
Stan… what’s that little thingy on post 56?
I was getting rid of the extra “s” from 55 (“guys”). Magically. With magic codes I learned from a magi in a magical internet cave.
I thought it was a disruption in the space/time continuum so … phewwww on that one.
I would have had to mess with him -shit like that makes me mad. You dont just walk up to strangers and ask them that kind of question }=(
@63 Lisa ….. have you SEEN Stanley?
Hey Lisa, do you have a bowl?
@63 Lisa’s right, Stanley. You should have gotten up and grabbed him by the arm and said “you’re under arrest, scumbag!” and then dragged him out to the sidewalk, and eventually taken a bribe to let him go. or taken his drugs and let him go.
that’s how we do it in the fo-three-fo.
That is so RENO 911
66: t(h)om: you know me; we’ve hung out; ain’t no way I’m passing for a cop. (Okay, maybe undercover. Deep, deep undercover.)
@67, That’s So Raven
@2. oops. sorry everyone, the above post was meant to be on free for all.
on topic: once i drank wine out of a bowl.
/cereal kind
//no wine glasses
@70: See you at Zocalo for CDC tonight. Save me a bowl for my wine.
I like to bowl. I have a 162 average.
cheers:).
fuck! I just dropped some rocks on the mall. would someone help me find them?
74: Just ask the bike cops. They can probably pause their decibel-level monitoring long enough to help.
@75 could you speak up? I can’t hear you over the guy singing the same 5 French songs over and over.
since the United States declared war on drugs shouldnt you have taken that person down for national security purposes? Patriot Act and such? Happy 4th everyone! “Dazed and Confused” something about alot of rich white men not wanting to pay taxes? and happy things and glitter and shit.
@3 I LOVE SERIAL! I mean cereal… where is Street?