I’m not ashamed to say that I pop by Reid’s on the way home from work once in a while. Yeah, it’s small and a little ghetto but it’s got its charms. The bagboy smiles and nods at you when you go in. They have really cheap wine. And the giant condiment aisle always makes me giggle. One of these days, I’m gonna buy one of those 10 gallon cans of Mayonnaise. And wrestle in it or something. Wait, ew, that’s disgusting. Nevermind.
Anyways, I know it’s not the “cool” place to go like Teeter but it’s closer and there’s better parking. There’s also the opportunity to assist your fellow man (or woman)…
I’m walking to the wine section one evening to grab a cheap Chard (they have one that’s $3.99!!) when this gentleman approaches me. He grins his toothless smile and asks me if I will help him pick out a nice bottle of wine for his lady. I say sure and ask what she kind she likes. “She likes Sherry!” he says and points a foot at the bottom level of the wine section. Where the huge jugs of cheap Riunite type wines hang out. He ain’t talking about no Amontillado. His little lady likes the crappy Sherry that’s next to the Manischewitz. So I peruse and pretend to know a lot about cheap Sherries and we hum and haw over a few and finally we decide on one because it’s described as, “Creamy“. He says, “How much that cost?” And I look and answer, “$5.99″. He pulls out a wrinkled wad of ones and some grimy change and counts it, his brow furrowed. I guess he has enough because he looks up, smiles at me, holds up the money and says, “Oh well, she’s worth it!” and heads off to the checkout. And I’m happy to have helped.
Another time I go into the cat food section to grab some vittles for my kittehs. The cat food aisle is facing the medicine cabinet goods and as I’m searching for the specific kind of wet food that my babies like, I hear an old lady muttering behind me. I turn and this little white-haired with Coke-bottle glasses is talking to herself, saying, “Vagisil? I thought there was Vagisil here. Where’s the Vagisil?” I look and right at my eye level is a box of Monistat. I grab a box for her and she takes it, muttering that it’s not Vagisil but she guess it will do and she shuffles off to the checkout. I am trying so hard not to think about old lady vag that I forget the cat food and leave. But at least I helped Granny with her feminine issues.
Another time, I purchase a box of organic soup and the clerk stops, holds it up and says, “Is that any good? I wanna buy it but I’m afraid it’s gonna be too salty. And I don’t wanna pay for it and find out it’s too salty. Let me know if it’s salty.” So I promise that the very next time I come in, I will let her know about the saltiness. The next time I’m there, she’s not my cashier but I see her at the register next to mine, and I tap her on the shoulder and quickly say, “It wasn’t too salty”. She stops ringing up her customers and turns to give me a huge hug, so happy to find out that she can buy this soup because it won’t be too salty. Thanks to me, this lady won’t be wasting her $2.89.
I’m like the Reid’s official personal shopper. They should pay me. I could hang out there all day, with the cellophane-wrapped packs of pigs’ feet and help…Wait, ew, gross. Nevermind.
[Pic from Curbplaces]
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Best place to buy short ribs in town. Don’t know how “organic” the meat is, but it sure is cheap.
DAMN that was fast spicy bears!
This story is about as exciting as the time I ran out mustard, then opened another mustard container.
It’s not supposed to be exciting Weiner Man, it’s supposed to be heartwarming. Or something.
I wouldn’t know anything about that, Shenanigans; my meats are all 100% free of heartworm.TM
EWWW
Reid’s has the best meat in town and some of the best produce prices. At one time there were three of the stores in town. I watched one burn down from the top of the Market St. parking garage. I miss it.
To summarize: There is a grocery store called Reid’s in town. Opportunities for personal interaction arise. We need not be ashamed. People who need people are the people who will find the cheapest wine in the world.
@4 Now Shen, don’t get all firecrotch on me, but seriously, this story is more about you and less about Reids.
@9: No it’s about cheap wine and Vagisil. DUHHHHH
*whisper* and i don’t see you posting anything so maybe you should stfu…*whisper*
my meat is heartworm free too
my heartworm is vagisil free…
But seriously, what the heck is Elizabeth trying to say in that last sentence in @8? It sounds deep…
@11 Your soup is too salty.
I need glasses or something (beer?) – I was wondering how nanigan’s knew whether or not the soap was too salty…
there’s not a doubt in my mind that a certain sub-demo of internetters visit this site for no other reason than to gather more information about shenanigans.
@15: NO SOUP FOR YOU!
But c’mon. Don’t you have a funny grocery store anecdote? Or anything about Reid’s? Don’t pull an ff, actually contribute to the comments.
damnit, @17 was @9. you people are unbelievable.
Vagisil is salty?
@18 what is “an ff”?
i went to the grocery store with my friend c-murder once, to buy tuna steaks, and then she burned my house down. this has been a story about me, and not a grocery store.
I got a little freaked out the last time I went into Reid’s.
To me, it seems like the the love child of a drunk, post-shavasana bangarang session between IGA on Cherry and Integral Yoga Natural Foods. Hot.
But I’ll give them another go. You just drummed up one more customer for them Shen.
@17: Oh fuck.
@21: A lurker who only posts argumentative comments. Hasn’t been by in a while thankfully.
tuffy for president. christ that was brilliant.
I like the part where you felt superior to the poor people!
they are baiting shen.. it’s like a team baiting effort.. let’s call it teamerbaiting
Teamerbaiting will make you go blind
@26, simmer down, Stu.
/What’s your beef, Stu?
@26: Hmm, well you interpreted that wrong cuz I’m pretty poor myself.
@18 I really wasn’t trying to be argumentative. I just expected to read a piece about Reids and got three examples of self-congratulation, that’s all. Just an observation.
I frequent the Reids frequently — it was the closest grocery to my former house, and now I stop in because I drive by there quite a bit. They have often been referenced in certain restaurant kitchen circles as having some of the best value meat in town. I used to buy extra limes there when I bartended. They used to randomly have several large bags of the exact dog food I used to buy stacked up on the shelf above the produce on the right-hand wall. I always thought that was strange — it didn’t seem to be their regular inventory.
/@27 Reids sells bait?
@31: It’s ok to congratualte yourself if you deserve it. I don’t see you helping old ladies get their Vagisil.
But really, is their meat THAT GREAT? That’s all you dudes keep talking about. Meat meat meat.
So, I know that Reid’s is planning a pretty big renovation, starting with the concrete steps and surrounding garden they just built. I think this is a sign of things to come. They are planning on expanding thier parking lot, and possilby adding square footage to the the store.
I don’t really like going over there, because the beer selection is terrible. Although, they do have organic beer, BION. Usually I end up in line behind someone either A) paying in change or B) cashing thier check from McDonalds or C) requesting thier check from McDonalds be cashed in change.
Although, I have to admit, the cashiers are really friendly… in a somewhat creepy way.
Their meat is that great.
It’s true, shen. You really can’t beat their meat.
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
I used to lean into the freezer thinking I saw Alaskan Snow Crab legs and then would realize they’re…CHICKEN FEET!!!
@37 You’re sure you weren’t just huffing teh freons?
@38: You’re the one whose name is “Heady”…
@33: Why do you hate poor people?
I like reid’s as it reminds of what smaller local grocery store used to be. I hope they don’t renovate it too much.
@17: you should pay her. oh. wait.
/someone get me to shut up already. or buy me a beer.
@24 I’m not that argumentative.
I mean…
never mind.
Glad you made it out, BYo.
Im poisoned, and a little embarrassed, but whatever. Life goes on.
I hate poor people, like you, because they waste MY time counting MY change to buy THEIR 40’s. Sometimes I sprinkle a few pennies outside just watch them swarm and fight. It relaxes me like feeding the ducks at the lake.
Truth. You can get Alka Seltzer at Reid’s. Might help with the poison.
Life goes on is right. Stay cool.
Now here’s a dude who must have an amusing supermarket incident story. B-yo, please indulge us…
Any strapping young lads care to escort a slightly older lady to the grocery store?
(I’m out of vagisil.)
dude, why is everyone picking on shen? I liked your post… I think it was informative in that I’d hazard to guess that most readers of this site would assume the place is sketch central (or simply never noticed it) and she made it seem like the unique, quaint, and weird little shopping mart it is. Sure all the packaged goods are so dusty it seems intentional and the choice to carry Toms of Maine toothpaste in a place where you can buy pickled pig’s feet and relish in No. 10 cans is eclectic at best, but it’s one of the few places I’ve been that feels like a neighborhood grocery and not a generic chain (a la Teeter) or a gourmet food pureyor (Feast or Greenwood, both of which I completely adore so I’m not saying that negatively). Nice to know one still exists and has a cast of characters to add to your shopping experience.
@45: I wondered who to thank for the pennies!
@50 I can understand the snark factor, the thought that Shen is just going to Reids in an experimental way, an upper middle class white liberals supporting the tiny local store that they would never have shopped at before local was “cool” while the “actual” patrons who rely on Reids do not think of it as more than “the store” kind of way. Hence, the snit.
Anyway, who gives a shit if that is what she is doing? Seriously, anything to keep business like Appleshits on Pantops or Bad Smells and Beyond in Barracks from gaining a further foot hold is ok by me. Even if it may feel disingenuous at times. Just go and make it “the store” for yourself. Which is what I think Shen is doing.
And thus, not insincere. So I too, liked the post. I will now make Reids my store too.
@52…
well, whenever you drive by Harris Teeter you can be sure to see an SUV parking lot filled with bumper stickers saying… “Eat Local, Buy Local.”
@52: neither snit nor snark on my part. Simply an observation that the post doesn’t really highlight the *store* in the way that many of this site’s restaurant reviews do, but rather seems to 1) talk about how wonderful Shen is (in a way that reminded me of the Seinfeld about George and the tip jar) and 2) illuminate what Lys has called a “cast of characters” in a way that seems on the edge of patronizing. (see, e.g., the Amontillado comment).
I get that the post was made in good faith and in support of Reids, and kudos for that, just saying a little bit more about the store itself, its reputation (as we’ve found from the comments includes positives/negatives about offerings), its history in the neighborhood, or its plans for the future (the building of the steps has been quite visible recently) might have been a nice addition. Easily added with a few questions to the staff, perhaps.
/but wait, that would be journalism. nevermind.
The shop I go to most often just introduced a line of giant white t-shirts to match the marijuana pipes, plastic “ice,” and dew rags they already had in stock. They also have a collection of porn DVDs for about six bucks each. Sometimes I think about buying one, but they don’t do refunds.
Ethan…..I know I am going to regret asking this but what reason would you give for the refund? Oh please let Stanley be online ….pretty please.
Oh please let Stanley be online ….pretty please.
How can I be of service?
Stanley….Ok this is tormenting me now and I am tired and want to go to bed so I have to purge this or I won’t be able to sleep…Who the fuck returns pornoflix for a refund? WTF are you going to say? Give me closure so I can piss off to bed.
oh flooze…..
Well come on Caroline… any ideas ?
there was something on the box??
Maybe the climax was disappointing?
Oh, I see. Yes, Ethan. That really is deprecated. Especially when the DVD gets stuck to the case. How’s anyone else supposed to enjoy it, huh? I’m disappointed.
55: is the joint you’re talking about on cherry ave and has the folks selling stolen nikes at the far end of their parking lot?
oh, and Reid’s BRINGS THE MEAT, SON! Ham hock 4EVA.
the shop where i sometimes buy my bud light features a fantastic array of blunt wraps. what’s a blunt wrap? i’m glad you asked!
it’s a piece of wrapping paper “for tobacco,” made of tobacco, that’s been soaked in perfume, lysol, juice concentrate, and formaldehyde, and each packaged separately to smell like peaches or blueberries. or strawberries, or cherries, or new car, or whatever the fuck. if you can taste it… you can smoke it?
but if you’re out of tobacco, you can also wrap weed in it too! and then shoot guns outside my house, which is apparently a very popular summer activity.
65: apropos, parlerz, I think I heard another gunshot about 15 minutes ago.
i was hanging out in south philly last night and partook in some “blue-berry” wrapped “tobacco” for the first time in a long a while and felt compelled to murder innocent people for about an hour and half on the new Grand Theft Auto.
/glad i don’t own a PS3
Are you sure that wasn’t angel dust?
the last time i was at Reid’s this happened.?
oh, maybe i should mention that the video link was actually banned from youtube.
69: About halfway through, that video betrays a revealing ignorance of human anatomy. [ALSO: NSFW, PEOPLE!]
Hold up, that video is actually at Reid’s right? That cast of characters look awful familiar round these parts… Perchance the old ‘lady’ at the end was the one that Shen assisted with the Vagisil. The low sodium variety, that is.
Shen, can you confirm?
@54: It wasn’t meant to be a review, just a couple of occurrences I had that I thought were amusing. I was trying to tie them together with a “theme” so I figured I’d make it about me being a personal shopper or something. Stupid me, trying to be a writer. But you post awesome enlightening informative posts ALL the time, so please, keep the criticism coming. Douche.
@69: OMG, that really is Reid’s! And OMG a huge vagina just popped up on my monitor. At work.
@72: None of the Reid’s allstars are in that video: Tall Manager who looks like the Dude from Big Lebowski, The Bagboy who looks like he’s in Menudo, Dreadlock Rasta Cashier Lady, and Coke Bottles Glasses granny were sadly absent.
I thought it was a great post shen. Are we not allowed to just tell stories anymore? Does every thread have to be some sort of review or critique of a local business?
I once saw a lady there who looked exactly like James Brown!
Thanks dude. And whatever you do, do not mention yourself, even if it’s a story about things you experienced. And don’t try to make it funny either. Just stick to the facts and interview the staff.
@ 69 the cashier in the clip is a regular bartender at the place I play once a week. I think I can never look at him the same way again.
@ shen: I liked the post, although I also get why people feel it may be patronizing. It reads a little bit like an expedition into the wild and crazy, into the exotic world of strange creatures. Personally I always loved Reids because of the prices, the feel of local corner store and therefore an absense of feeling ripped off, and, I hate to admit it, the cast of characters not usually present in my social field.
PS. Does the mention of a secret exotic place make it so popular it’s no longer secret and thus no longer cool?
@73 Oh, I know what it was meant to be.
@75 You’re allowed to do whatever you want. I know your comment was hyperbolic to make a point, but I think you know that I wasn’t suggesting that everything should be a review. I’m just not one of Parlie’s @17s is all.
OMG SHEN STOP FETISHIZING THE ANTHROPOLOGICAL OTHER!!!!11!one!!!eleventy!
fetish?
@79: Oh yes, because you know everything. People like you make me not wanna post anymore.
@82 if Shen stop posting that would kill traffic on the site.
Why the hell is everyone so darn grumpy?
I know I’ll get my F-Keys bitten right the fuck off for sticking my head in this, but I don’t see where 26 world has said anything ill about this post, just a mild stating of opinion. Actually, you know what? I’ll let you all settle this in the jello pit, because I dont know what the fuck is going on.
Can it be juice box time?
speaking of anthropology, how much are the chinese-iranian overlords of 2075 going to make fun of our bloggy idiocy? we’re the box social of the 21st century. flappers. our grandchildren hang their heads in shame, and return to their jobs as sharecroppers on the moon, farming hydroponic soy products and gazing longingly at dated photos of the blue planet.
what the hell am i talking about.
Oh, silly parlz. I’m sure we’ll immanentize the eschaton long before the onset of Sino-Lur rule. Heck, I bet we don’t even let any more banks collapse before wholeheartedly embracing millenialism.
/End times! Drink up! Jesus saves! Gretzky scores!
@85: I’m just saying, people who don’t ever post shouldn’t pick apart other people’s posts and try to make them look bad when they were only trying to contribute to the site. Mmmkay?
parlie, did you have breakfastwhiskeys today?
I always get the vague feeling the bagboy is smiling and nodding cause it’s part of his game with chicks.
@82 That’s really your choice, and has nothing to do with me. I simply had a slightly critical view of your post. I obviously made the mistake of thinking that posting a story and then opening a comments field was an invitation to opine on the subject of the post, which — after reading it — I came to the conclusion was you, rather than the Reids market, as I’d originally expected. I made a simple suggestion. I also found it to be a bit patronizing, as did several others. Who cares? You wrote a post. It got mixed responses. Be happy and proud that your comments are in the 80s!
@87 Didn’t realize it was a rule that you had to post in order to take a critical view of anything around here. My bad.
newspapers never would have let this happen.
belmonty O! gets it right in #84, by the by.
I have only been in there once, a friend of mine dragged me in there, been in several places like it in Richmond and DC, but not in Charlottesville… this town constantly surprises me with stuff like that.
@ 91 FYI, the rules
#1 – The first rule of Post Club is, you do not talk about Post Club.
#2 – The second rule of Post Club is, you DO NOT talk about Post Club.
#3 – If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, or references hitler, the post is over.
#4 – Two drinks per post.
#5 – One topic at a time.
#6 – No inline images, no inline videos.
#7 – Posts will go on as long as they have to, no character limit.
#8 – If this is your first visit at cvillain, and your umbrage is raised, you HAVE to post.
@95: Excellent adaptation. I heard the Paper Street Soap Company is hiring.
93: it’s juice box time? sweet.
also, come on, shen, welcome to the world. this is mild stuff.
@95 Now a question of etiquette — as I pass, do I give you the ass or the firecrotch?
/will be happy to post after July 29/30, but my life is owned by books and laws until then.
@93: Thanks for your support. He read my post and tells me I’m patronizing, self-congratulating, making it all about me, and not providing a good enough review. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion but I think it’s overly critical and it’s annoying to hear smug mis-observations from someone who never contributes.
@97: Welcome to the real world yourself. I’m allowed to be bothered by someone taking my picking apart my post in a negative way. Oh, wait, you never post so you don’t know how it feels.
100: you’re right, I certainly never put my work out in the public with my name on it for everyone to judge. right on.
I’m allowed to be bothered by someone taking my picking apart my post
Absolutely! But so too are others to be bothered by whatever may bother them.
Its the circle of umbrage, one of natures greatest gifts!
ok, is this ridiculous yet?
I once wrote a stupid post about a Greek salad. I just optioned it to Disney for an animated movie. Robin Williams is in negotiations to be the voice of the salad.
To the market I traipse in hopes
To find her corduroy engaged in poking produce
And there I beside to rub my denin with her cords
Without a drop of irony, for I really need to shop
In the closest vicinity to ladies with lemon drops.
I’ll array my helm in liquors
Of chocolate and hazlenut and boysenberry
And call out to her, hey hun, hey hun
Please come to crease my forethoughts
And clean behind my ears.
denim
I want some of whatever colfer’s smoking.
I thought it a wonderful poem.
That said, whatever colfer is on cannot be smoked, it must be injected straight into one’s eye socket.
reids would not hire me as a bagger back in the day
took it personal
now best bagger evar