Going Negative: A Review of Reviews

I tend to be skeptical of negative reviews—be they reviews of restaurants, CDs, movies, or whatever. It’s just easier to rant than it is to rave. A good bit of this difficulty lies, I think, in the desire not to sound overly earnest, since praise can certainly quite easily slip into maudlin sap.

And, given the choice between maudlin sap and the vitriol of many a negative review, I’d demure on the choice, preferring instead the subtlety of a brick slamming into my head.

Having said that, bad reviews are inevitable. And ’round these parts, the most frequent species is negative restaurant reviews…

Something goes awry with dinner, and it’s off to the keyboard to seek vengeance—using words! on the internet!

My complaint is that the reviewer so rarely bothers to try to have the perceived wrong righted at the moment of the offense. It’s incredibly revealing about a restaurant’s character to see how they respond to problems. Handle it with aplomb: I’ll almost certainly be back. Muck it up: probability of a re-visit approaches zero.

An anecdote:

My partner and I were at Beer Run last week, in search of the delicious nachos we’d espied there earlier in the week. As it turned out, they had run out of beans and were offering only a beef-based version—nothing doing for this vegetarian.

We were disappointed, having biked over specifically for the nachos. And now our plans were dashed. The server must’ve seen the disappointment in our faces, for she immediately began suggesting a number of different alternatives, all of them good, viable suggestions. We really appreciated her taking the moment out of her busy evening to try to offer solutions, rather than just leave us alone in the cold, nacho-less void.

I’ll be honest: we ended up going elsewhere that night, so transfixed on the notion of nachos; we had to be sated. But I left with an even higher opinion of Beer Run, and I’ll definitely be back. Why? Because they handle bad situations well. Which, to me, is as important as having a great menu, good location, etc.

So next time you’re having a bad restaurant experience, see what might be done about it right then and there. It’s likely to leave you and the restaurant on better terms. And you’ll save the time of writing that snarky blogpost.

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68 Responses to “Going Negative: A Review of Reviews”

  1. 19 Jul 2008 at 3:01 pmWingnut said:

    Stanley, you’re right on the nose on this issue, and it’s just one more reason to love Beer Run. Those folks really have their stuff together and run a class act kind of place. Josh and John are consistently in good spirits (even when things don’t look like they’re running smoothly) and always have good suggestions for both food and beer when they’re out of what you’re looking for or when you just can’t decide.

  2. 19 Jul 2008 at 4:09 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    My partner and I

    Dude, you’re gay???

  3. 19 Jul 2008 at 4:18 pmStanley said:

    Dude, you’re heteronormative?

    And no. It’s my lady partner. I submit that the term be used without regard to sexual orientation.

  4. 19 Jul 2008 at 4:27 pmFloozy said:

    I have a huge crush on Josh… the shy ones always look so infinitely corruptible.

  5. 19 Jul 2008 at 4:34 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    Bravo. Nicely stated, Stanley. The toughest thing about addressing the situation at the moment of the offense is to muster up enough balls to say something. I have been trying more and more to channel my repressed inner Larry David, and I’m surprised how often it is actually appreciated and fixed by the waitstaff, proctologist, call girl, etc.

  6. 19 Jul 2008 at 4:41 pmStanley said:

    muster up enough balls…proctologist

    See, I don’t follow. “Hey, while you’re down there, my guys sure could use some mustering, Doc.”

  7. 19 Jul 2008 at 5:29 pmbelmont yo said:

    I have come to the conclusion that the world is a pretty fucking heartless place. Perhaps I should go after some nachos that don’t exist, if only just to taste the flavor of greater human good.

  8. 19 Jul 2008 at 5:37 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    @ 3 - That’s interesting. I call my business partner “sexy love muffin”

  9. 19 Jul 2008 at 5:40 pmStanley said:

    8: No one can take that away from you Silmo. No one. And don’t you forget it.

  10. 19 Jul 2008 at 5:51 pmFloozy said:

    BYo…. human good is meat based, you need the veggie equivalent…. human gouda.

  11. 19 Jul 2008 at 5:52 pmFloozy said:

    …. just don’t ask where it comes from. Please.

  12. 19 Jul 2008 at 6:09 pmbelmont yo said:

    Really, I have no idea how I am going to make it through this x lounge gig tonight, gouda or no. Much love for x lounge, and for music, and for life… but damn. Im dark right now. I suppose we’ll see.

    /my mental illness, let me show you it.

  13. 19 Jul 2008 at 6:55 pmcolfer said:

    Coffee is natures antidepressant, mr. yo. It must be hot and fresh. Stale coffee has terrible oxidized chemicals.

  14. 19 Jul 2008 at 6:55 pm26 world said:

    @12 B’Yo, in times like that, I tend to turn towards the words of others. Not to be hokey, but things like this sometimes cheer me up (well, maybe “cheer up” isn’t the term. perhaps, reinvigorate or something). It’s a little diddy by an amazing poet, James Tate. One of my favorites. His humor sometimes reminds me of yours.

    Goodtime Jesus

    Jesus got up one day a little later than usual. He had been dream-
    ing so deep there was nothing left in his head. What was it?
    A nightmare, dead bodies walking all around him, eyes rolled
    back, skin falling off. But he wasn’t afraid of that. It was a beau-
    tiful day. How ’bout some coffee? Don’t mind if I do. Take a little
    ride on my donkey, I love that donkey. Hell, I love everybody.

    -James Tate

  15. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:06 pmFloozy said:

    Or you could smoke some killer weed and chill the fuck out.

  16. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:12 pm26 world said:

    @14 Meant “little ditty,” not one of Puff Daddy’s offspring.

  17. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:16 pmlolo said:

    people aren’t heartless B’yo, walk through a hospital sometime. we have some extraordinarily wonderful folks all around us who really care.
    when I’m a walking zombie, I remember Woody Allen’s quote, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
    You can do it !

  18. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:37 pmbelmont yo said:

    Thanks all for sure! Support and love and advice and what not… awesome. Im blessed.

    But I know whats coming up. If you would like to witness the complete ego disintegration of a person on “stage”, tonight is the night! No cover! I am so tweaked I have facial tics. I have been drinking since yesterday at noon. Is all over. I no longer give a fuck! Or maybe I do. What do I know? I dont even know my name. I suppose it could always be worse…

    /kill the dj

  19. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:41 pmcolfer said:

    OK, new advice. Ask for hot’n'fresh from some tall girl.

  20. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:42 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    Byo, you’ll have a captive crowd, buddy. Plus, and seriously - best case you get some folks dancing, and as long as you can be there to grease the wheels with the killer stuff you spin (and you do), everyone will be fine and dandy. Seriously - you’ll rock this shit out and it’ll be a blast. I’ll be there with some friends to cheer you on, man.

  21. 19 Jul 2008 at 7:52 pmFloozy said:

    Wear a dress and some make up….. if it all goes tits up you can claim discrimination. No one wants that sort of negative press and they will just pretend it never happened. Just don’t throw shit.
    Byo if I wasn’t waterside and drunk as a randy skunk I would come to X and hold your ickle hand. If you hate this public performance shit SOOOOOOOOOOO much, why put yourself through it? Don’t tell me you are poor etc etc… I know you paid $2.47 for your fucking crib so shut it.

  22. 19 Jul 2008 at 8:04 pmbelmont yo said:

    Tuffy. Please come and say hi. I know I met you once before, but I have brain damage. Forgive me for that. Captive audience? Bondage party? Hawt.

    Flooze, I dont hate the public performance at all… its just when things go dark its hard to get up and do my thing. When shit is bangin it is euphoria… I need more of that. Last nite I was at rapture, and it was kinda trippy. I forgot I was supposed to play there because I have the dumb. Nothing like being woken up from a drunken coma to the telephonic refrains of “your go on in ten minutes, where are you!?!” And by the way, I am poor as shit, and I need the cake like oxygen. Equity dont buy groceries, jaknow?

  23. 19 Jul 2008 at 8:47 pmEthan said:

    South Street has awesome nachos. Try there next time.

  24. 19 Jul 2008 at 8:49 pmStanley said:

    23: That’s exactly where we went to sate our nacho needs. Heh.

    /though some douchebaggers made fun of us for reading a newspaper at the bar; South Street: nice, minus the native fauna.

  25. 19 Jul 2008 at 10:56 pmparlie said:

    @14 was one of the best things i’ve ever read.

  26. 20 Jul 2008 at 12:07 amorchid said:

    @24 there’s always newspaper on the bar at south street! what are you supposed to do with it if not read it?

    good nachos at continental divide too.

  27. 20 Jul 2008 at 1:08 ammc said:

    @25: which is probably why you quoted it here.

    /okay, for real, that was the last time. you’re different people.

  28. 20 Jul 2008 at 1:13 amStanley said:

    there’s always newspaper on douchebags at the bar at south street!

    There we are. Yes. I agree with your amended statement, orchid.

  29. 20 Jul 2008 at 1:20 amStanley said:

    In the spirit of the positivity of the post, I will further amend:

    there’s always newspaper on douchebags at the every bar at south street!, anywhere and everywhere.

  30. 20 Jul 2008 at 6:27 amt(h)om said:

    good post, Stanley. It could have turned into a bad review of bad reviews; you showed impressive levels of restraint. Or, should I say, aplomb?

  31. 20 Jul 2008 at 1:11 pmStanley said:

    30: I’ll show you a plum…

  32. 20 Jul 2008 at 5:07 pmparlie said:

    in soviet russia, you’re a plumb.

    i hate myself.

  33. 20 Jul 2008 at 5:34 pmStanley said:

    On Soviet plumber, buttcrack sees you exposed.

  34. 20 Jul 2008 at 5:35 pmernestina said:

    Belmont Yo,
    Are you feeling better? My world feels heartless for the moment, I can so relate.
    Shall I write you a letter? KIDDING!

    Maybe there is something in the air.

  35. 20 Jul 2008 at 6:14 pmbelmont yo said:

    No, not really, but thank you.

    I’ll survive, I just need to sleep for about a thousand years.

    Stupid, uncooperative life.

  36. 20 Jul 2008 at 7:48 pmernestina said:

    Sleep is really good. The booze trick did not work for me. I got sadder. Drinking is only lots of fun when
    you are happy. Not being preachy, just what I am learning. Of course because I my love for wine, I have
    to remember and then learn over and over:)

    Hope things start to be more pleasant.

    Life can be very stupid and uncooperative, but somehow it will be okay, because it has to!

  37. 20 Jul 2008 at 9:11 pmbelmont yo said:

    The booze trick did not work for me. I got sadder.

    Yeah, Im starting to get that. Its trippy, I never really drank til I moved to VA. I also think my house may be haunted by some sort of alcohol spirit…

  38. 20 Jul 2008 at 9:14 pmicenine said:

    B-Yo, I’ve met you only twice, but both times I felt like you were receptive, kind, eloquent, and tuned in. One of those two times my little man was super pumped to rage to your spinnings (on an i-pod, not in real-life spin-time). I think he danced all around the house, octagon style. He loved it.

    I’m just passing through the interwebs for an hour or two on my way from a shenandoah backpacking trip on to an upstate NY family thing, but I can say that we all, as humans, have our ups and downs. I know. I have them all the time. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be human. But you’re a great guy. Just remember that. They don’t make them like they used to, you know? Except for people like you. Then it makes you wish cloning were legal ;-)

    Stay mellow. Relax. Enjoy what is good…

    /wishes he rented from you, with your sick landlord dealies.

  39. 20 Jul 2008 at 11:46 pmernestina said:

    It seems the people that care the most get hurt the most.
    My bet is there is some hurt running around.
    Think of the people who don’t give a shit, it would be a terrible world, if full of only that type.

    Trippy is one of my fav words. Don’t hear it much! Think you may be one of the people who care.

  40. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:22 amTaliesin said:

    I second @38 only having the pleasure once. More than enough to see the true character of the man behind the curtain. I’m devolving and spinning in heartbreak and changing everything because it’s the only way. Charlottesville a dusty remnant in my mind of a time well spent. No time for darkness anymore. Ain’t wastin time no more. Replete with backpack, knapsack, a fishing pole and a soon to find dog.

  41. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:28 amernestina said:

    B Yo,
    You now have a bigger fan club. That has bound to make you feel better! Made me feel better reading
    people concerned about a person. Shoot, there a more than a few people that care.

  42. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:29 amTaliesin said:

    Also, I met the real life inspiration for “Earl” from “My Name is Earl” yesterday at a party in DC/Maryland and he carries around about a million dollars worth of baseball cards with him. Again, more details at SS on Tuesday while I’m still amongst this maddening crowd. Against the envy of less happier lands, This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Charlottesville.

  43. 21 Jul 2008 at 11:36 amThor said:

    re: negative reviews.

    I always feel kinda bad when I see negative stuff in review or commentary form, but also at the same time, if you have a mediocre experience at a restaurant, it’s important to talk about it, but do it in a constructive way. I don’t think servers can really do much if you don’t like your meal and because it’s always a subjective issue. At really nice places ($40+ entrees), i feel like they always make an effort to put the customer first.

    When it’s anything less, I feel like you are out of luck as a customer. Maybe I am wrong, but I think negativity is good for everyone, even when it makes them a little mad.

    /just thinking

  44. 21 Jul 2008 at 11:50 amshenanigans said:

    B-yo, I can give a positive review of your set at X Saturday night. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you were fine. Don’t drink by yourself anyways–you are too funny when you are drunk with us.

  45. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:01 pmshenanigans said:

    BTW, I’ve got two positive reviews: The Dark Knight was the best movie I’ve seen in a while and eating at Cheeseburger in Paradise was actually kinda fun.

  46. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:15 pm26 world said:

    @45 Fried Pickles!

    A good friend and I used to do the 29N corporate restaurant tour, just to escape the scene for a while (and to drink frozen drinks without being shamed by anyone). Once, my friend ordered a shot of Jack Daniels at the Red Robin in the Mall and the bartendress looked horrified. She served it with a side of Coke even after we fully explained that we just wanted a shot, in a glass, no ice. It was kind of charming.

  47. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:21 pmshenanigans said:

    @46: All the brunch downtown ends at 2:30 or so and I like to sleep late so chain restaurant was pretty much my only choice. Drinks were so cheap! And I did in fact, get this awesomely trashy pina colada/strawberry daquiri thing. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

  48. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:23 pmdieter said:

    @45 CIP was fun- It must have been group you were left and the bad Jim Buffet impersonator must have been on break. I imagine you got there because of it’s distance from the movie theater.

    Would you go there on purpose again?

  49. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:28 pmshenanigans said:

    @48: We sat outside because they were playing lame music inside. Our “Islander” (waiter) was very nice and we ordered a bunch of bar-foody apps that were yummy. We drank huge trashy drinks that were dirt cheap ($6)
    and had a decent time. Yes, we went there becuase of its proximity to the theatre, but for realsy, I will be going to more chains in the future since downtown places don’t wanna be open between 2:30 and 5:30.

  50. 21 Jul 2008 at 12:56 pmbelmont yo said:

    ¿sʎɐp ǝsoɥʇ ɟo ǝuo ǝʌɐɥ ɹǝʌǝ

  51. 21 Jul 2008 at 1:03 pmcbob said:

    every day.

  52. 21 Jul 2008 at 2:35 pmThor said:

    I’m having one of those days, BYO.

  53. 21 Jul 2008 at 4:39 pmfive said:

    A lot of emotion, love, sadness and change happening on this thread. I don’t have anything to complain about today, just sharing the heat wave that’s blanketed me on this lovely Monday.

    What’s impressive is the sense of community here. A great feeling knowing someone out there really cares.

    /B Yo! I recommend Bob Marley, “Iron, Lion, Zion.”

  54. 21 Jul 2008 at 10:05 pmTaliesin said:

    Redemption songs -
    All I ever had

  55. 22 Jul 2008 at 12:11 ambelmont yo said:

    Sobriety. Not for the timid.

  56. 22 Jul 2008 at 2:22 amOdie said:

    All this talk about being sober is a MAJOR buzzkill.

  57. 22 Jul 2008 at 2:51 amorchid said:

    i think charlottesville makes people drink, i don’t know why. i have drunk less in the past 8 weeks in california put together than i did in the average week in c’ville. maybe because echo is far away.

    /except tonight.

    i love you belmont yo. drunkenmaster is like walking through the city en route to a 5:30 wine tasting looking at the tall buildings & everything is real trippy & no one else knows it.

    //bedtime.

  58. 22 Jul 2008 at 8:12 amThor said:

    @57… california is filled with a bunch of sissies who can’t drink

  59. 22 Jul 2008 at 8:14 amecho said:

    i have drunk less in the past 8 weeks in california put together than i did in the average week in c’ville. maybe because echo is far away.

    I think you hit the nail on the head with that one.

  60. 22 Jul 2008 at 8:34 ambelmont yo said:

    drunkenmaster is like walking through the city en route to a 5:30 wine tasting looking at the tall buildings & everything is real trippy & no one else knows it.

    Welcome to my beheadphoned world. Thank you! I wish more people would download my choons. I kinda slacked off from lack of people’s interest. I’ll toss something new up today.

  61. 22 Jul 2008 at 8:49 ameduardo said:

    byo I miss your jugs!!!

  62. 23 Jul 2008 at 1:02 amchicorico said:

    “My partner and I were at Beer Run last week, in search of the delicious nachos we’d espied there earlier in the week. As it turned out, they had run out of beans and were offering only a beef-based version—nothing doing for this vegetarian”

    Did ya ever think of ordering the Meat Nachos without Meat? It’s not like the chips are made of meat? Or that everything is already assembled and then reheated? Beans bummed you out that bad? DId you ask that ever so helpfull waitress this or did it not even cross anyones mind??? Just curious.

    I know when a burger comes with onion I don’t roll over and give up. I ask for NO onion. Give it a shot. Kitchen folk can be somewhat accomidating.
    Cheers
    ifuckinlovebeerrun

  63. 23 Jul 2008 at 7:57 amparlie said:

    meat chips! where have meat chips been all my life?

    pork salad. strawberry hot sauce.

    mayonnaise calzone.

    i don’t want to play this game anymore.

  64. 23 Jul 2008 at 9:43 amchicorico said:

    meat chips…..AKA Beef Jerkey.

  65. 23 Jul 2008 at 1:02 pmshenanigans said:

    The other day I went to McDonald’s and ordered a cheeseburger. Without the meat. It was fantastic.

    /not

  66. 23 Jul 2008 at 1:57 pmStanley said:

    DId you ask that ever so helpfull waitress this or did it not even cross anyones mind???

    An excellent question, chico. The waitress suggested it, while simultaneously recognizing that it really would be lacking something. We were after a light dinner, and you gotta have some protein in there. The nachos sans beans/meat would be a snack.

  67. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:12 pmcaroline said:

    @65 I order them like that too! No meat and then I put the fries in the middle.

  68. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:19 pmshenanigans said:

    Mmmm fryburger. But only as a snack.

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