8 Things You Don’t Ask People Touring Charlottesville

Posted by Thor on July 23rd, 2008 55 Comments

Dont ask in charlottesville

I got inspired by this article I read about the Chinese posters that are describing the 8 things to not ask Olympic tourists.

The 8 Don’t Asks:

  1. Don’t ask about income or expenses,
  2. don’t ask about age,
  3. don’t ask about love life or marriage,
  4. don’t ask about health,
  5. don’t ask about someone’s home or address,
  6. don’t ask about personal experience,
  7. don’t ask about religious beliefs or political views,
  8. don’t ask what someone does.

Basically, they’ve told people to not make meaningful relationships with people.

What are the 8 things you don’t ask people visiting Charlottesville?  I’ll start…

  1. Don’t you hate DMB?
  2. Did you know that TJ had sexual relations with a slave?
  3. Did you know that no service workers can afford to live in Charlottesville?
  4. ________________________  your turn!

[via PeacefulRise]

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55 Responses to “8 Things You Don’t Ask People Touring Charlottesville”

  1. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:24 pm1Thor said:

    For the record.. I didn’t categorize this post.

  2. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:32 pm2belmont yo said:

    4. Did you know Im only talking to you because I want to hook up with you because, as a tourist, you probably haven’t already already slept with everyone I know and all their ex’s?

  3. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:33 pm3Stanley said:

    1: I’m making note of your insolence.

  4. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:33 pm4belmont yo said:

    5. Did you know that tartare has been soaked in… umbrage!?!

    (really… only eight?)

  5. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:34 pm5sweet said:

    Did you know there is this great new restaurant about to open, it’s called The Box…

  6. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:35 pm6belmont yo said:

    6. Did you know that cville is 99% safe because we give all our gangbangers uniforms and cluster them at semi remote intersections containing the number six?

  7. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:35 pm7parlie said:

    don’t ask them if they’ve been to the tapas restaurant in belmont with friendly, helpful staff and good service. it doesn’t exist and you’ll confuse them.

  8. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:35 pm8cbob said:

    6. don’t ask what band they’re in unless you’re prepared to listen to an earful of nonsense.

  9. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:36 pm9belmont yo said:

    7. DId you know that your mom might ALREADY have a letter en route to her?

  10. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:37 pm10cbob said:

    oh wait I got that backwards

    /duh-leted

  11. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:38 pm11Ethan said:

    I’m glad service workers can’t afford to live here. Charlottesville would be wonderful if no one making under $50,000/yr could afford to live here.

  12. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:40 pm12shenanigans said:

    Do you wanna meet my charming friend Ethan?

  13. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:41 pm13belmont yo said:

    8. Did you know that ETHAN is an acronym? stands for Elitest That Hurls Arrogant Nonsense.

  14. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:41 pm14shenanigans said:

    LOL

  15. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:42 pm15belmont yo said:

    (for children)

    9. Did you know that the Loudest Flautist is Santa trying to make ends meet during the off season?

  16. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:42 pm16parlie said:

    @11 ethan makes me have a confusion. a confusion contusion.

    and infusion of collusion confusion.

    i’m colfer.

  17. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:44 pm17Stanley said:

    “Do you even know how aioli is made?”

  18. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:46 pm18Thor said:

    everyone can have their own 8 PLUS INFINITY or however many you want

  19. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:48 pm19lolo said:

    you don’t really think your bagels are better than ours, do you?

  20. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:48 pm20belmont yo said:

    10. Did you know, in charlottesville, everyone can have their own 8 PLUS INFINITY???

    I got mine: 8+∞

  21. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:50 pm21lolo said:

    So, The Rolling Stones really didn’t go to your town?

    ..pity

  22. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:50 pm22belmont yo said:

    11. Did you know that in one corner of Miller’s there is still some of the Dave’s encrusted and mummified vomit?
    Did I mention he was from here? Awesome, huh?

  23. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:51 pm23Donk said:

    Did you hear that Van Halen got into a fight at Rapture last night?

  24. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:51 pm24shenanigans said:

    Do you wanna see my Firecrotch?

  25. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:51 pm25lolo said:

    did you know that this was the bush that Dave pissed in?

  26. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:52 pm26parlie said:

    you know, we have an enormous crane working on our latest erection.

  27. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:52 pm27shenanigans said:

    Not a question!

  28. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:53 pm28sweet said:

    Don’t ask them if they have any pre-prepared dance moves to 80’s songs…local DJ’s will find you out and snark in front of your minivan.

  29. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:53 pm29Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    Sorta @19 - What do you mean you want your bagel toasted?

  30. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:53 pm30Donk said:

    @26
    I saw something kinda big fall from the crane today. Looked like maybe a bundle of wire or something?

  31. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:54 pm31parlie said:

    we have a local blog. do you have a local blog? we do. we drink wile we bLOOAAAAAGGH. oh sorry, i threw up your shoes.

    we don’t have a shoe store.

  32. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:55 pm32belmont yo said:

    11.236 Did you know Coran Capshaw spelled backwards is wahspac norac? What are the odds?

  33. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:55 pm33Stanley said:

    “Do you wanna see our Apple Store?”

  34. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:55 pm34shenanigans said:

    Do you wanna meet my friend Parlie?

  35. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:56 pm35Stanley said:

    “Will you leave now? I need that parking space.”

  36. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:56 pm36belmont yo said:

    3.1415926535 Do you like pie?

  37. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:57 pm37sweet said:

    @31 You made my day. Thanks parlz.

  38. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:58 pm38belmont yo said:

    @31 absolutely full of win.

  39. 23 Jul 2008 at 4:59 pm39Thor said:

    30. Have you ever been to Garrett Square at night for the parties!?

  40. 23 Jul 2008 at 5:23 pm40dieter said:

    Do you like cheeky shenanigans?

  41. 23 Jul 2008 at 5:47 pm41dieter said:

    You thinking of moving here?

    Oh, please do tell me how they do it back home?

    Would you like directions to the Olive Garden/Hooters?

    Would you like directions to the city republican headquarters?

    Questions one must always answer no: do I know anyone in admissions @ UVa / in DMB?

  42. 23 Jul 2008 at 6:24 pm4226 world said:

    “You know, those big white stripes painted on the streets at the end of every block are just for decoration. Feel free to wander across the road any ole where, at any ole pace. Cars love it. Helps folks test their brakes.”

  43. 23 Jul 2008 at 6:38 pm43Floozy said:

    Would you like to buy a $600,000 house, less than 25 feet from where a 19 year old was murdered last weekend?
    /I jest not.

  44. 23 Jul 2008 at 6:56 pm44Tinkertoy said:

    Did you know that there is no number 4?

  45. 23 Jul 2008 at 9:56 pm45Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    Answers you never give to people visiting CVille:

    -You know, I’ve always wondered what those big ‘V’s in the streets are too!

    -No, I don’t know who the lady silhouettes are on the yellow and blue signs.

  46. 23 Jul 2008 at 11:11 pm46Ethan said:

    I have been called a great many things, but elitist is not one of them.

  47. 24 Jul 2008 at 1:00 am47Taliesin said:

    I did say this back in the day..but again. Ethan you are surely a great lay. All tousled and without abandon. All sweat and blood and tears. All nothing. All everything. W/ the Drudge Report at easy access. And commentary about nothing and everything.

  48. 24 Jul 2008 at 1:17 am48Stanley said:

    And Ethan never recycles a sexual position. It’s a brand-spanking-new one. Every. Goddamned. Time. A master of the craft, it’s true.

  49. 24 Jul 2008 at 2:48 am49belmont yo said:

    Fuck you.

  50. 24 Jul 2008 at 8:01 am50parlie said:

    …yeah!

  51. 24 Jul 2008 at 9:35 am51belmont yo said:

    Im so eloquent late at night…

  52. 24 Jul 2008 at 9:54 am52Stanley said:

    What did I do to b-yo?

  53. 24 Jul 2008 at 10:03 am53belmont yo said:

    Nothing stan the man! I seem to have lost my wits late night is all.

  54. 24 Jul 2008 at 10:06 am54Stanley said:

    53: No harm, no foul. Fowl, however? Not to be trusted.

  55. 24 Jul 2008 at 6:26 pm55The Travels and Rants Journal » Crack-Away said:

    […] As seen on cVillain: Coran Capshaw spelled backwards is Wahspac […]

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