I got inspired by this article I read about the Chinese posters that are describing the 8 things to not ask Olympic tourists.
The 8 Don’t Asks:
- Don’t ask about income or expenses,
- don’t ask about age,
- don’t ask about love life or marriage,
- don’t ask about health,
- don’t ask about someone’s home or address,
- don’t ask about personal experience,
- don’t ask about religious beliefs or political views,
- don’t ask what someone does.
Basically, they’ve told people to not make meaningful relationships with people.
What are the 8 things you don’t ask people visiting Charlottesville? I’ll start…
- Don’t you hate DMB?
- Did you know that TJ had sexual relations with a slave?
- Did you know that no service workers can afford to live in Charlottesville?
- ________________________ your turn!
[via PeacefulRise]
Related posts:
- Most Influential People in Charlottesville?
- Homeless People on the Rise
- It’s kind of a catch-22. How do you protect people from themselves?
For the record.. I didn’t categorize this post.
4. Did you know Im only talking to you because I want to hook up with you because, as a tourist, you probably haven’t already already slept with everyone I know and all their ex’s?
1: I’m making note of your insolence.
5. Did you know that tartare has been soaked in… umbrage!?!
(really… only eight?)
Did you know there is this great new restaurant about to open, it’s called The Box…
6. Did you know that cville is 99% safe because we give all our gangbangers uniforms and cluster them at semi remote intersections containing the number six?
don’t ask them if they’ve been to the tapas restaurant in belmont with friendly, helpful staff and good service. it doesn’t exist and you’ll confuse them.
7. DId you know that your mom might ALREADY have a letter en route to her?
I’m glad service workers can’t afford to live here. Charlottesville would be wonderful if no one making under $50,000/yr could afford to live here.
Do you wanna meet my charming friend Ethan?
8. Did you know that ETHAN is an acronym? stands for Elitest That Hurls Arrogant Nonsense.
LOL
(for children)
9. Did you know that the Loudest Flautist is Santa trying to make ends meet during the off season?
@11 ethan makes me have a confusion. a confusion contusion.
and infusion of collusion confusion.
i’m colfer.
“Do you even know how aioli is made?”
everyone can have their own 8 PLUS INFINITY or however many you want
you don’t really think your bagels are better than ours, do you?
10. Did you know, in charlottesville, everyone can have their own 8 PLUS INFINITY???
I got mine: 8+∞
So, The Rolling Stones really didn’t go to your town?
..pity
11. Did you know that in one corner of Miller’s there is still some of the Dave’s encrusted and mummified vomit?
Did I mention he was from here? Awesome, huh?
Do you wanna see my Firecrotch?
did you know that this was the bush that Dave pissed in?
you know, we have an enormous crane working on our latest erection.
Not a question!
Don’t ask them if they have any pre-prepared dance moves to 80’s songs…local DJ’s will find you out and snark in front of your minivan.
Sorta @19 – What do you mean you want your bagel toasted?
we have a local blog. do you have a local blog? we do. we drink wile we bLOOAAAAAGGH. oh sorry, i threw up your shoes.
we don’t have a shoe store.
11.236 Did you know Coran Capshaw spelled backwards is wahspac norac? What are the odds?
“Do you wanna see our Apple Store?”
Do you wanna meet my friend Parlie?
“Will you leave now? I need that parking space.”
3.1415926535 Do you like pie?
@31 You made my day. Thanks parlz.
@31 absolutely full of win.
30. Have you ever been to Garrett Square at night for the parties!?
Do you like cheeky shenanigans?
You thinking of moving here?
Oh, please do tell me how they do it back home?
Would you like directions to the Olive Garden/Hooters?
Would you like directions to the city republican headquarters?
Questions one must always answer no: do I know anyone in admissions @ UVa / in DMB?
“You know, those big white stripes painted on the streets at the end of every block are just for decoration. Feel free to wander across the road any ole where, at any ole pace. Cars love it. Helps folks test their brakes.”
Would you like to buy a $600,000 house, less than 25 feet from where a 19 year old was murdered last weekend?
/I jest not.
Did you know that there is no number 4?
Answers you never give to people visiting CVille:
-You know, I’ve always wondered what those big ‘V’s in the streets are too!
-No, I don’t know who the lady silhouettes are on the yellow and blue signs.
I have been called a great many things, but elitist is not one of them.
I did say this back in the day..but again. Ethan you are surely a great lay. All tousled and without abandon. All sweat and blood and tears. All nothing. All everything. W/ the Drudge Report at easy access. And commentary about nothing and everything.
And Ethan never recycles a sexual position. It’s a brand-spanking-new one. Every. Goddamned. Time. A master of the craft, it’s true.
Fuck you.
…yeah!
Im so eloquent late at night…
What did I do to b-yo?
Nothing stan the man! I seem to have lost my wits late night is all.
53: No harm, no foul. Fowl, however? Not to be trusted.