A little birdie sent this in from The Sabre…
The following geniuses from the UVa football team were arrested over the weekend for allegedly stealing beer from a cooler at 216. If true, upcoming Senior Will Barker and upcoming Sophomore Dave Roberts should be applauded for their allegedly stupid acts. Dave really steals the show…he is 19 and allegedly had a fake ID on him, allegedly.
This is what they look like when are doing what they are supposed to be doing (from Facebook):
And this is what they look like when they are arrested:
Will Barker
Dave Roberts
Read more on NBC29.
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- Another Botched UVa Kidnapping
- Scalia Comes to UVA Law School: Says Church and State Not Separate
- Four Days in Jail: Former UVA Football Player Does Time
their names should read Will “Gimme A T-Bone” Barker and Dave “I Swear My ID Is Real” Roberts. Any other takers?
Dear Mrs. Barker,
I am terribly sorry for the scorn and ridicule your son and your family will face in the coming weeks as the entire community passes judgment on your son for the idiotic decisions he allegedly made. It is terrible to think that such a promising athlete would throw away a chance at a professional football career over a couple free beers. Hopefully the justice system will run its course, and your son will be cleared of all charges so he may again play football for UVA. I don’t want you to think anyone blames you in any way. It is entirely society’s fault.
Sincerely,
echo
I don’t care what anyone says, mugshots and facebook/myspace pics never get old.
Oh man the Barker dude’s pictures are hilarious on FB
To be fair, Gingerpubes Barker does look like he could be 27 years old.
@4: How are you seeing them? It won’t let me.
I have special privileges.
Meh… I’ve seen your privileges. They’re not that special.
Did you find my secret internet lair?
/hate it when that happens.
//You are obviously jealous.
Stupid jocks.
kids will be kids. who here hasn’t stolen a beer? Let he toss the first cap.
I know some people that stole entire cases of beer out of the back of a beer truck when they were younger.
No wonder The Beer Companies subpoenaed us for Tuesday’s IP address.
Hellooo! If it was me I would have proudly fessed up. In fact I would suggest it be a door prize at our next party. PS – Give the beer companies my IP address – I am thinking they owe me some sort of bulk discount.
We used to take the security devices off clothes, and put the tags in random shoppers bags/strollers/hoodies.
/still funny. But I am sicko
Are frohawks now cool?
all red like that, I’d call it a cockhawk.
Ginger will never be cool… think Ron Howard and Danny Bonadouchebag
You see! I make a fucking ginger link and it doesn’t work. QED.
20: You’re really not taking this disappointment gingerly, Flooze.
Gingervitis is not to be taken lightly Stanley.
what’s the statute of limitations on a six pack of beer?
Duuuuh df… drink it the day you buy it, or its statute of limitations causes it to instantaneously expire. Same for kegs, fifths, bottles/boxes of wine and just about any alcoholic beverage. Kaliber and other such shite can rot in your fridge for fucking years and no statutes will be invoked apart from the ‘No Fecking Fun Amendment’ which covers the litigious minefield of ‘Why the FUCK did you buy it anyways?’ corollary.
HTH
NBC29 recaps all the recent UVA football off-season blunders:
Did they just mention the UVa honor code!?
@23 & 24 Flooze was wondering about the statute of limitations on stealing a six pack..I drank it right there in the gaint walk-in when it was Dart Drug( where Staples and such are near Whole Foods now). Good times, good times. a long time ago.
@26: Um, chill. It’s cocoNut’s job to get all excited about that
Hahahahahaha. Hoo’s got the thugs, now?
Vanillavy=cocoNUT?
can’t we just cross-link across the site without throwing fightin’ words?
Oh honey, you don’t wanna see my fightin’ werds.
why, cause they are vegetarian infused fighting words?
They are vegetarian boogers and I will throw them at your head.
that wouldnt be that bad…i mean if you could actually throw them, that means they aren’t sticky…so they would probably just bounce off my head. en garde!
What is their myspace?
i was at mellow one night when will and another neanderthal were there, wasted as usual, and were “horseplaying” they knocked over 3 chairs and a table and 4 bounchers had to throw them out. they laughed and moseyed on to the next bar to cause a ruckus…this does NOT surprise me. 98% of the football players are, for lack of a better word, douchebags. basketball team’s not far behind them…