At one time or another most of us have been in a certain kind of relationship called ‘friends with benefits’. Generally the benefits don’t include gym membership and health insurance (though I met one young lady who told me she’d take this as an option over sex) – so you get the idea. You’re good friends, you both get horny, you both get drunk, and it’s usually all at the same bar. You’re both twenty something downtown-bar-hopping kids with libidos that cannot be contained. What a coincidence! Why not kill two birds with one stone and in the morning get a hungover breakfast at Blue Moon, have a couple mimosas, and go your separate ways. There’s no emotional attachment, you both get your hookup with person of choice, and life is good – right?
Well, unfortunately the ‘friends with benefits’ model is eventually threatened by the prospect of a more serious relationship. I polled a half dozen men and women about this subject and came up with a list of warning signs for those currently in FWB status. If you start to exhibit any of these behaviors, or your benefit friend does, you are drifting towards relationship territory. Take it as you will – I know plenty of people who started out as FWBs and ended up happily dating. None of these things are inherently bad, but be aware – if a relationship is not at all what you want then these are 10 warning signs that you’re drifting in the wrong direction:
In no order of importance:
1- You go over to their house and don’t have sex.
2- Keeping anything personal at their house in anticipation of the next time you go over – this includes (especially) a toothbrush, medication, underwear, etc.
3- If you provide things for your FWB before they come over, i.e. “You said you liked cinnamon so I bought these cinnamon candles.”
4- When you stop seeing other people because of your FWB – this often happens unconsciously. OR if you do start dating someone else there are pangs of guilt or worry your FWB might find out.
5- Be careful of pillowtalk. We all say some ridiculous stuff that upon recollection makes us cringe:
Did I tell her she had soft hair last night?
Did I hold him in my arms and (twirling his hair in my fingers) ask if he ever thought about the future?
Did I brush the hair from her face, look her in the eyes and tell her she was beautiful?
Any of these things are sooooo adorable and sweet to say but WAKE UP! These are things you say to someone you want to develop something with – not a FWB. For a FWB the following is appropriate to say afterwards:
Wow, that was awesome.
or just go to sleep. That works too.
6- Calls in the middle of the day ‘just to chat’. Texts/emails/Cvillain posts are OK – they’re not as personal.
7- Going anywhere where you show up together and leave together.
8- You make plans to hook up more than 24 hours in advance.
9- You mention the FWB (even in passing) to one of your parental units.
10- You didn’t meet on Cvillain.
[pic]
Related posts:
- Free for All XII with Benefits and a Goodbye
- TheRealMatch.com Questions (WARNING!)
- I Got 99 Problems and A Manipulative Hot Chick is One
I don’t get number 1 – assuming you were “friends” before any benefits, didn’t you go over to each others houses and hang out before the sweatiness began?
Wait, so you can meet someone on cVillain and no rules apply?!
I thought the number one rule of the FWB was you could be on a date and the Friend WB would be cool with it and not cause a problem. The reverse has to be true as well. Then 2 nights later you could see each other at a bar and hook up.
To echo the others the “b” is for benefit not oBligation
Definately a sticky situation…someone always ends up getting hurt (not just the girl!). It’s one of those ‘good on paper’ situtaions, but in real life, the instant gratification is outweighed by the overwhelming inconvenience’s and inherent jealousies that naturally happen between men and women. Bad news bears, pretty much.
isn’t a friendship a relationship?
i think that some of these numbered items help maintain the friendship part of “FWB” whereas yes, some of them indicate the onset of a more romantic entanglement (namely 4&5). more importantly, people need to be honest with themselves; true self-awareness will ultimately let you know if you are desiring more from the relationship than “FWB”
i think another important list to note is the frightening “SWB”: stalkers with benefits. for those unfortunate enough to have “B” turn “SWB” we should perhaps extrapolate and enumerate the warning signs.
One sure-fire way to turn a “friend with benefits” into an “angry friend without benefits” is to hook up with her sister. Not worth it, but so worth it.
Damn all you single people with no morals and bed-hopping. You are going to hell for your sins!
/wish I could go too
@8: Not if you’re Buddhist. Then you can just beam you consciousness out of your crown chakra, and you don’t have to worry about going to hell.
/That had to be close sweet.
Goodness, definitive proof that I’m way too old to be reading this site.
Is it possible to be too old for FWB? I sure hope not…
I’d say the only limiting factor to FWB is being in a committed relationship. Age shouldn’t be a factor.
I have a friend who told me that she was shocked the bed hopping that went on in the old folks home were she worked.
So you’ve got that to look forward to
@12: agreed
Some of these rules don’t apply to some people who actually emphasize the “friends” part of FWB.
@13
Gross… but true.
This topic needs more charts.
@10.. Chris.. no way! No one is too old, in fact you can let us know why we are all stupid!
@16 great chart but one thing – I don’t do brunch
I said… more charts.
Charts!
I’d love to try and parlay this into a “workplace” caveat, but then I’d probably just end up grumbling…
Charts!
/sorry. please carry on… I’ll stop the silly. this topic is rather radioactive.
@20 that chart does not take the zipper in to account- just sayin’
You’re looking for charts?
@25…pretty accurate chart, i’d say.
@27: I like the 2 people at the bottom.
Most of my friends have health insurance. What’s the big deal?
Oh, you mean THOSE benefits.
/nevermind
@28, yeah they look like winners. But this topic is quite frustrating, at least you know echo, that I know a thing or two about this topic (*hopes no one thinks I’m a ho bag*) and just trust me everyone, nothing good (besides an occasional orgasm and perhaps some free food sometimes and a pathetic excuse for companionship) comes out of it in the end…
So you mean plenty of good things then.
Haha tousche!
@31: I think @32 pretty much nailed that one. Did you stay until last call?
Yeah, pretty much…waking up this morning was no fun at all. Did you cab it home?
If you’d had a FWB you would have had fun waking up!
Lol, what is it with guys and morning sex? I, for one, am not a huge fan…my breath stinks, i have no idea what I look like (*hair and remnants of the previous nights make-up are probably horrifying looking*), and just feel dirty. Morning wood is not my friend.
@35: Yeah, as soon as I walked out, there was a cab sitting there. Waking up was fine, surprisingly, but staying awake has been a bit of challenge.
Where’s Uva LaGrape? You know she would have a strong opinion about this.
WELL in my case my g/f is beautiful all the time!
@40, wish we could all be so lucky! and i agree, she is very naturally pretty and very nice as well
@38…as bad as this question might sound…going out tonight? (haha, im not an alcoholic, i promise!)
@41: I’m not planning on it, but you never know what will happen. I feel like I should take the night off to let my liver prepare for the weekend.
yeah im with you…but i’m going home this weekend and probably won’t drink much so I’m debating…depends on what kind of bad influences get to me tonight
Hey btw, does anyone know of any restaurants hiring? I’m a good waitress and have lots of experience and need a new job badly…
If I end up going out I’ll let you know.
sounds good…do you go to south steet every tuesday? ThisSideUp should come next tuesday…continue the tradition in memory of Odie haha
Yeah I go every Tuesday unless I’m out of town for work. It’s my favorite night of the week.
@47. Mine too.
Yeah I had a good time…it just sucks though because Biltmore, at the corner, has $2 pitchers on Tuesdays. I love this for several reasons: 1) I live right near there, so driving is not an issue 2) I know the bartender and he’s awesome and hooks it up 3) They take my corner meal plan for alcohol, which is amazing. So thanks mom and dad for every drink I buy there 4) All my friends go there on Tuesdays.
Therein lies my problem…I might have to start rotating between the two every week.
Swim swam, do you know what happened to the archives?
@49: Yeah driving is always an issue. That’s why I rarely go to the corner.
@18 ooh my crush on dieter strengthens.
@37 especially if you drank enough to get into bed with someone else in the first place. when you’re hungover, the last thing you want in your face is mai tai breath.
Morning sex rocks.
/that is all.
In my studies, I’ve come to conclude that women feel the most ideal time to have sex is approx. 3:30 in the afternoon. I’m guessing because it’s afternoon, your awake, the day is for the most part over, your relaxed and not sleepy like you are in the early morning or late night…Idk, these are my assumptions, and as a woman, I find that I am in agreement. Men, strike at 3:30!
/looks at watch and is dissapointed
oh man, I’m guilty of some of the dumbest FWB pillow talk ever. I feel really bad for the friend I told was “acting like a girl” when he invited me to stay over. Or to the friend who puzzled over why I decided to announce my religion in the middle of making out. Or to anyone who I gave the impression that I didn’t understand the fantastic casualness implicit in the FWB contract. I’m usually drunk at these times, so that’s my default excuse.
/not a ho, just an unemployed monogamist
@53: word.
@52 If I could only be sure you were female
@55 you’re not Amish are you? Because posting here would be a big no no as well
@53 & 56. Agreed. Morning sex is an excellent way to start the day
guess im in the minority
echo, whats ur favorite fri & sat night spots?
58: dude, huh? is idiotic pillow talk a common feature of the Amish?
also, why is this thread becoming the free for all… come on kids, take it outside.
oooh, the religion thing. No, I think (and my mind is really fuzzy on this) my point was that my people are known for their combined fertility and premarital sex leading to unplanned changes in marital status. But I’m pretty sure I didn’t express the thought in that nuanced way. I’m pretty sure I just said, “dude, I’m catholic!”
@61 you said you talked about religion in the midst of the macking- if that religion was Amish that would present all types of interesting dilemma’s.
Ah, that’s what I get for attempting brevity. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that one could be too old for a FWB situation. Good grief, that’d be downright depressing. More the idea of worrying about a FWB situation that seemed like a long-ago, of-my-youth kind of thing. When I was younger (and I’m not old, just older than I once was – wow that sounds deep or something) I, too, pondered the nature of all of my interactions and inspected them for hidden meanings and motivations. I think that’s good. I think we all should think a lot about what we do and how we are with others. (Granted, it was probably more an amazing level of self-centered-ness, but I’m feel generous.) As I’ve gotten older, I realized that I was more likely to take things for what they are and not worry much about the rest until there’s something to worry about.
I was also thinking (when I was typing earlier) that nos. 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9 (and perhaps 10) are all things that would bow to expediency or courtesy. Having a toothbrush and a change of clothes where you sleep is a good move. Buying the unfrosted blueberry Poptarts when you buy your frosted strawberry ones because the person you keep having good enough sex with to keep having sex with them likes to eat unfrosted blueberry Poptarts seems like a good way to help keep having sex with that person and also its a nice thing to do. More than 24 hours in advance: sometimes life is busy and you have to schedule, no choice in the matter if you want to actually have the whole benefits part. And so on.
Now, everyone should take all of this with a block of salt. I had a great FWB arrangement going. Then it didn’t go so well. Now we’re married. Very happily so for a few years and we have a dog. I’m clearly better at the FWB in theory. But I still think getting the cinnamon candles is a nice thing to do. (Or, I would if I liked scented candles.)
Chris.. so insightful.
I do believe a welcome is in order. Help yourself to the free lightbulbs and the work-at-home pooping kit.
I had a great FWB arrangement going. Then it didn’t go so well. Now we’re married.
This leaves so much to the imagination and misinterpretation.
@60: Friday is usually a drinking marathon of sorts. 3 wine tastings, Fridays after 5, dinner, then a combination of Zocalo, Blue Light, South Street and X Lounge. Occasionally there is a stop by sweet’s house for free alcohol to minimize the cost.
Saturday is usually South Street then X Lounge or wherever the Villains are hanging out.
/I miss OXO
Friends with benefits is something I have neither believed in nor understood. Have to be more than friends to sleep with me as I dont give it away, just not my style
My latest FWB situation took us to Venice and Paris. I do not recommend this…all of a sudden the romance starts to swallow the casual nature of the arrangement. Sucks to be in Paris and running away from the ladyfriend who is with you…she was thinking marriage, I was thinking airplane. We no longer speak (imagine that).
/@9 yessir echo sir….just shoot it right out the top and fear no evil. We can practice this weekend when under the influence…such fun.
/back to work….the pain, the process, the quicker-picker-upper
@69 .. I don’t think FWB really exists, to be honest. Does anyone know anyone who does the hookup thing more than a few times who doesn’t do anything on that list?
@71: I have a story, but it will never see the light of
daythe interwebs.good to see that my original fear of cvillains’ hauntings by SWBs is unfounded
haha poor echo…between a rock and a hard place if you will
as I dont give it away
So what’s your going rate?
@74: You don’t even know this story. Maybe next time.
I’m pretty sure I just said, “dude, I’m catholic!”
A sure way to signal to your hook-up partner that things are going to get guilty, guilty, guilty, all the way down.
(See it’s okay for me to say, cause I was raised by Cathol, too.)
man, you’ve got some good stories…i will be held in suspense until I get to hear it
Has anyone on here had a great FWB experience and once the sex or friendship got old, just amicably went their seperate ways? OR stopped the sex and became ‘just friends’ again? I want to know if that is more than a FWB ideal myth
@77: word. as soon as I said it, I knew it was the WRONG thing to say.
@80: yep, and with a person I worked with! so we had to maintain a good relationship, we totally did and he’s still awesome to this day.
@46 TSU rarely makes personal appearances.
ouch, i see how it is
/tear
@75 Byo ha..haha… now that’s a Floozy line if I ever I saw one.
My term for a FWB is a Fuck Buddy…. and it works just fine.
Paula: Andy. Have you ever heard of the term… ‘Fuck Buddy?’
Andy Stitzer: No… What’s that?
Paula: Well, it’s a special… friend… who you fuck.
sorry, couldn’t help myself
Has anyone on here had a great FWB experience and once the sex or friendship got old, just amicably went their seperate ways? OR stopped the sex and became ‘just friends’
Yeah. She got a boyfriend and I was truly happy for her.
@85 I think it was in Sex and the City as well but am too lazy to go look. SJP had one.
nah, 40 year old virgin
OMG it’s 3:35!
Well if you are going to be a mispelt douche, here you go fuck buddy
/now that is 90 seconds of my life I am NEVER getting back just because I had to prove a point.
fuck buddy
Stanley/Thor… why do my links only work second time?
@75 –priceless…..its called love.
@89 haha, we’re all in our prime, time to pounce!
@90 I wasn’t implying that there wasn’t a sex and the city fuck buddy episode, i was just commenting that my quote was from 40 year old virgin
its called love.
So that’s like 2 dinners, a night of drinks, and the easiest three word lie a guy has ever said?
well said echo
@93 That sucks. What happens when both halves work 8-5?
@96: Nooner in the boss’ office while he’s at lunch?
@97 Ha! When I came back from lunch today I saw one of my coworkers in the parking lot and I asked him or her where he or she was going and he or she said “Going home for a nooner.”
weekend you can always hit the prime or settle for the immediate 5:15pm pounce, when you both get home from work…then there’s always the possibility of the lunch rendezvous, but that can get tricky, gotta be on your game for that one
And this is why I prefer the pre or post work love fiesta, too much work and planning involved in the special time. But I’m not gonna turn down any lunch time sweatiness with the lady friend either.
All this ‘love fiesta’ talk is making me ‘frustrated’, if you know what I mean…
And that is a perfect example of why a FWB is an appropriate thing to have…unless, as mentioned earlier, one is in a committed relationship. I guess that would be simply a BF or GF with the B implied.
Once again *delimma* … long distance relationship = not enough love fiestaing, which =
Stanley/Thor… why do my links only work second time?
Because you comment drunk?
/Back to serious face: I recommend using an html test bed.
@103 Maybe YOU could use an html test bed for your problemo too!
I personally believe it is a Spicy Bear conspiracy to double the comment figures and impress gullible advertisers.
/Stanley…. stop being serious and come and jump on the html test bed with me.
haha, im a fan of that, no worries
girls are just as much proponents of ‘html test beds’ as men are
Is there going to be an html pillow fight at the party on Saturday?
My html test bed is covered with sheets. Cascading style sheets. And I also eat in bed, but it’s cool—it’s an RSS feed, served with a cup of java.
aw, i wish i could come to the party saturday…boohoo
Yeah me too but I’m at a house party in NoVa.
@110 & 111: LAME
lame cause we’re boohooing about it or lame because we’re not going to be there?
I’m thinking about staying sober for the party though. I feel like that would leave a more lasting impression. No one ever sees me sober.
Because you’re not going to be there
@114 Speaking of LAME
lamesauce, even…who’s sober at a party besides those weird intellectual (aka geeky) types who claim they don’t need to get drunk to have fun?
Floozy.. no idea why you can’t do linkys right… does anyone else have problems? you sure you are doing them correctly?
oh.. and of course it’s a conspiracy.. it’s cVillain after all
I mean, I’ve got problems. Everyone has problems, right? Right?!
@116 & 117: Do you really think I can spend an entire Saturday night sober? I can barely spend a Monday night sober.
No. So stop the foolish talk and admit you’re getting bombed.
In fact, I can imagine you having one of those beer/drink fetcher kids there with you.
im going home the next two weekends in a row, i guess that means gotta go to SS tues and cdc wed (depending where it is). i wish i had gone when it was at shebeen, i like that place.
@123: Not a bad idea. Floozy, bring me a beer fetcher to the party. I don’t talk to mine. Can’t let them know where I live.
@124: Yeah I guess you kinda have no choice then.
/home from work, bored
Give us your myspace!
what happens if i do? haha
Home from work?
126: You could write a cVillain post.
i’m new to here, idk if im ready to make a post just quite yet ha
@129, yes home from work…it was a longggg day
you will get 20 women-starved dudes drooling over you
haha idk about that…but there is some stuff i wouldnt mind writing about
DOOO ITTTT
never thought I’d be the one to say this, after all my cliquish behavior, but you guys are boring me to tears: write each other email for fucks sake! or at least go to the free for all where I can ignore you. Home from work, party in NoVa, already planning next Wednesday’s outing on a thursday??? cleverness and funny stories, people, cleverness and stories, that’s what we value. Not that we all hit it every time, but oh man, this mundane stuff has gotta stop.
why not…who do i give it to
It’s that subtle charm that Thor has always used to charm the ladies
was I charmed? when did that happen?
@139 You didn’t find Thor’s truncated use of Nike’s corporate slogan charming?
no comment
@141 not very bloggery of you
@143: thank god someone out there heard my cries. I’m gonna go poke my eyes out now.
and cdc wed (depending where it is)
CDC is at Pantop’s Applebees next week.
@144 poking you eyes out? What happen did you sleep with your mom?
maybe im getting this wrong, since i’m new to blogging and cvillain, but i thought blogging was an online forum to discuss pretty much what you want to discuss, which is what we were doing. please tell me if i am wrong, im fine with that.
@145, how do you know that?
i’m with mc on this one, if our threads & comments were outfits, we’d get a beat down by the fashion mafia for clashing.
a) belmont is fucking with you. it’s sarcasm!
b) sure, fine discuss whatever you want. Can you at least try to entertain me? No? then why broadcast it? A lot of people griped about this one a while back, so they made a free for all where you can discuss what you ate for lunch or that your toe itches to your heart’s content. I don’t want this blog to look like a chatroom of inanity, that’s all I’m saying. (rock on 148)
c) parlie’s not here, so I’m being the resident anti-interneter
/get the fuck off my lawn
i get your point, but no need to get nasty, i didn’t…sorry if this blog isn’t my life, and entertaining you or anybody isn’t my goal.
and whoa, I know you’re new here, so I realize I’m being a bit harsh. sorry about that.
in that case, back on topic. i think the standing question is: does anyone have or has anyone had a FWB that ended amiably? is it even humanly possible?
statistically speaking, most of mine have ended miserably, but in such a way that it was fwB rather than FWb in the first place. if i lose interest in the person as a friend, the benefits pretty much go out the window, too.
there is this one saga in my life that continues to be amiable, but there was a period of ill emotions between us. still the former benefits lurk right around some darkened corner, i’m thankful for that. the alternative apparition is less appealing: former bonuses appearing as invisible elephants nourished by awkward conversation between the redefined friends.
your passive agressiveness is impressive. develop that!
@145 goddammit, the one time i’m not there to be in walking distance.
my favorite time for sex was when i came home from my 8:30am kickboxing class and pounced on my sleeping boyfriend.
i am not saying i would ever say no to it.
orchid, i knew you were into p&p
@154 is @ 150, I hope obviously.
@ 152: IT’S ON!
@153, I think I answered this one earlier (can’t find it up there? hmmm), but the answer is yes. I have hadn’t had many FWBs, but none have been diastrous yet. I tend to choose carefully and either it develops or it ends, but we’re always still friends/aquaintainces/people who don’t create stress/drama for each other.
160, in that case, i’m going to go mix a FWB cocktail for a friend of mine, and another, and another
@161: HA! that should read “haven’t had.” what with my eyes done poked out, i cain’t hardly read.
a good way to keep FWBs FWBs is to have an actual relationship with someone else.
I have a Friend Without Benefits. He’s a real drag. Never pays for his drinks, constantly crashing on my couch and eating my food. He brings me no benefit at all, and I really don’t know why we’re still friends.
damn, orchid! that’s pretty disrespectful, but i can’t knock it because i haven’t tried it.
@94 Maybe for some but not for me. Dont have to be so damn harsh
I was merely stating how I felt about it. So yea, whatever.
Where to begin…at the end I guess.
@167: @94 was a joke. I’m sure your a a very respectable, classy woman who prefers a relationship to a one night stand. Sorry you were offended.
@136: If you look at the rest of the posts, no one was saying anything this afternoon. I assumed that meant no one else was around. I decided to have a conversation with a couple friends. Sorry that bothered you. Next time I’ll be sure to take it somewhere else. I’d hate to crowd a blog that no one was using today.
@uva: Don’t take any of it personally. Everyone vents sometimes. That’s part of what this site is for. Don’t take any of this seriously, and never trust anything b’yo says. He’s usually joking.
/I’m sober, cut me some slack
your a a very
That should say “you are a very”
/sorry grammar police
@67 True. But isn’t it true of most things? A cautionary tale about FWB situations, but a good tale about finding someone great even if you’re kind of trying not to.
@168 Thanks for the clarification! I do appreciate it
Over, done with, gone!
@169 thanks, echo. i was worried about you.
@136 why is mc yelling at y’all? is she shen today?
There was no shen today. She didn’t even come to rescue the kittehs.
why is mc yelling at y’all? is she shen today?
Well, the gist of her remarks was “take it to the FFA or, heaven forfend, off-blog”. Which seems a reasonable request, if not necessarily stated in the politest of manners.
I even made an obvious oedipus rex joke when mc threatened to poke her eyes out and nothing
Time of the month I reckon.
Sorry diets, I completely overlooked that one. Well said.
The end of the month is bad for blogging?
@177 my classical education is wasted once again
The end of the month is bad for blogging?
Everyone’s rushing to meet their comment quota. Like cops w/speeding tickets.
my classical education is wasted once again
You could always go boink your mother as consolation. And I mean that in the high-minded, cultural-reference way, not the boorish contemporary insult sort of way.
But my dear Stanley if you couple the mater boinking with eye gouging, you have art that will stand the test of time.
But I have to admit Oedipus is complex.
Perhaps Floozy has taken my advice…where did she go?
182: I think it’s most likely Flooze has shacked up with a Malaysian pen-tailed tree shrew.
I asked politely in 61. *sigh* you guys claim to be bored, in turn you bored me, instead of moping around about it, I acted. I’m not the blogger you need, just the blogger you deserve.
dieter, no one grabbed your oedipus joke, but no one grabbed this in my angry comment either : Not that we all hit it every time. Villains seriously off our game today.
I asked politely in 61
I stand corrected: you did. And in case it’s not clear, I support your suggestion.
I know, dude, I know.
/my fist, it’s bumping.
186: Fist bump.
@53:
sometimes, but sober at night with conversation and candles is also yummy.
/everyone should probably get off the internet (and cell phones and tv and fast food and high fructose corn syrup). 1,2,3 now~!
*Sigh* I miss being slutty.
@189…almost a hour and no one responded to this?wow
@190 no one really believes Shen was ever slutty
yeah. no one.
@189 This one time… at band camp…
Well, who won? The suspense is killing me. I’ll just play with my new iPhone while I wait
@192: You liked it
There was a Shen Parlie hookup of shame? There was no mention of this in the FAQ
i like everything.
There was a Shen Parlie hookup of shame?
One must fight fire with fire, as they say.
No shame!
what’s a polite way to let someone know you want them in your stable?
i’ve grown tired of waiting out drunken nights for a particular future FWB.
Put a saddle on their back
201, i specified “polite”, shen
Do it gently and with a curtsey
“May I pretty please put this saddle on your back and then ride you like a pony?”
@200: @204 would work.
great, now i have ginuwine “my pony” stuck in my head, this is not a success in my book
@206: Me too. Aghhhh!
@205: “Neigh! Neigh like the naughty little pony you are!” *smacking with whip*
just desserts, shen.
now, serious answers (re: 200)?
i think its a tricky question…there’s no answer b/c there’s no “polite” per se way to go about that one
Just say “Do you wanna be my fuck buddy?” That comes across as a compliment and gets right to the point.
/neigh
But, depending on the girl, you could get a drink in your face…or a big fat red handprint, depending on how fiesty the girl is. I’ve seen it, trust me.
Wait wait wait wait…
iamglamazon is a girl. I assume she’s trying to say this to a guy.
If it’s a girl, just say “I love you.”
/That was a joke lisa. I still think you’re classy.
212: true.
213: i’d rather say “May I pretty please put this saddle on your back and then ride you like a pony?” than that
who’s lisa?
Hmm, with girls, you don’t really have to ask guys, do we? Just dance with them, grab their penis some, make out in the corner, and say “hey wanna go to my place?” (or something along the lines of that) and go for it. at least thats been my experience
@215: It’s all in this same post. Go to 69, 75, 92, 94, 167 then 168. It’s just like breadcrumbs to Hansel and Gretel.
@216 I’d say that applies to random hookups but I don’t know if that’s how you’d start a FWB relationship with someone you’ve already developed a friendship with. Although, I guess it could still work.
218: i agree completely, hookups != FWBs
good point, i went add for a min and got off topic (this happens frequently)
It is rapidly approaching 3:30. I hear all the fems on the site go ape about then.
So true
/revved up and ready to go
For woman turning a F to a FWB is easier than the reverse. For when a woman see the guy as a friend that usually needs a lot of drinks and a recent breakup to change the equation. It comes as no surprise that most guys are easy.
The FWB conversation cannot properly occur until after the first hookup. This way both party know what they are gettin’ in to. That way you know if you getting a freak or not and how that helps or hurts the benefits.
For most woman it’s just about saying yes or using a little feminine charm. For the men it can be like being the date of a female praying mantis- if you do it just right nobody gets their head bit off.
YMMV
to be a day late and several thousand dollars short here:
i’ve had two FWBs that have worked out for the better – one of them ended up turning into one of my best friends, while the other i remain amicable with, with a “keep-in-back-of-mind” asterisk next to his name. so i don’t think they’re a bad idea, even though there have been a couple of close calls with deeper-relationship-type behavior that, thankfully, were worked through.
now, uva non-douche, LDRs… that’s a whole ‘nother ballgame. you’re either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.
(i had a spectacular failure of an LDR after which i said ‘never again’, so i’m a bit biased)
okay, well, i guess it’s time to go masturbate or something, seeing as it’s what time it is and all. see some of you cats tomorrow… maybe…
Where did everyone go?- OH it’s 3:42
So most of the guys must be finished having sex by now
IN SOVIET RUSSIA SEX IS FINSHED HAVING YOU!
which doesn’t even make any sense.
@226 if you keep telling those jokes it makes perfect sense
what’s sex?
last night i ended up with a name tag that said “nice iphone wanna f**k” might keep wearing it till it works. . .
Hi, I’m new here, but I think you left out a critical component of the FWB list.
11. If you’re not blowing a load in her hair at least one out of three hookups on average, you’re practically freaking married.
what? was that directed at my #11 comment?
@231: No, that was rule #11.
Aha, thanks echo…i was confused
/still drunk, I think
I was trying to find a way to make that be directed at comment 11 but I just can’t get creative with it.
/feels very ashamed
@230: Gross. That’ll get you taken off the FWB list
@230: I like it when people make audacious comments as their introduction to the interwebs. Help yourself to some malt liquor in the mini-fridge and cheese whiz and crackers out back. Sounds like you have a bit of a mess to clean up. I think we have a new roll of paper towels in the basement. Just look out for parls while you’re down there.
@230, that’s a low blow…face, chest aren’t so bad b/c it’s easy to clean up. But hair?! Come on, you gotta go through a whole process to get that out…no bueno.
@234, nice try my friend. I have that problem frequently…I feel in person that I’m a good ZINGer, but on here, I get Zing-shy, if you will, and have bloggger’s block…
on a differeint note, is it 3:30 yet?!
@237 face not good because when it gets in the contacts it makes them foggy. & stings!
I don’t wear contacts so problem solved, but I’m with you…eyes in general are unpleasant
Wow. Loads through a girl’s perspective. Odd. It MUST be almost 330 with this kind of talk out of our resident fems.
Um… my pants seem to be getting smaller.
Not saying this is a problem, just an observation. Whenever uva non-douche shows up, the interwebs get pron-y.
/just noticed you”fixed” your name
@237: That’s what mouths are for
@241 Thank goodness for desks to scoot under.
@242 Are we (entire community, not just echo and I so as to avoid accusations of ‘chatting’) happy with the change?
only noon here…
@243 i’ve concluded that i agree with you people about non-animal product-eaters. good for you.
@245 perhaps your body is still on east coast time
@244: I certainly don’t mind, but I wonder about the lurkers. There are a lot of them.
I meant with the name change people.
@247 since lawyers take 3-martini lunches, does that mean i get to start drinking at 9am? sweet.
@246: Did you do a taste test?
@251 yes.
@248 in a thread called FWB it’s not a problem . If it “popped up” in every thread it might be less welcomed.
Just my opinion
I did fix, thought it was for the best…
I have more thoughts @ 242 but don’t know how to vocalize them, so I will therefore remain silent.
This would never have happened if Lilth were still here.
@254: You can share them with me at CDC.
@256 You mean US so as to not be chatting.
I think TSU = lamesauce for not coming to SS last night
@256, I’m still debating if I should/will go tonight, but I’ve never drank at Blue Light, so we shall see
‘nanigans, are you going to make it out tonight?
My apologies to all for not gracing you with my presence. I like to keep my appearances rare so as to be super special and fresh.
@259: A) Don’t dig Blue Light
B) Am so menstrual it’s not funny
@260, excuses excuses…if odie were here, he’d scold you
@261: That’s too bad. I’m just excited you get to be the last stop on the tequila challenge.
Well, 3:30 has come and gone and we’re all still present and accounted for…so sad.
@261: I can’t wait for you drunk-asses to stop by all shitfaced and hollering. All we have by the way is José, Herradura and Patròn. No salt for you.
Hopefully I’ll get my 3:30 fix this weekend *fingers crossed
@echo…I wish you luck, that challege sounds disgusting, not even an alcoholic like myself is up for an adventure like that…puking is a definate that night. Shenanigans, I feel bad for you being the last stop, I guess I should wish you luck, too.
If you have to barf, do it in the trough.
No way, do it off the crane!
Oh it’s going to be a blast. I’ve been training for just such an occasion for almost a decade.
We’ll see who wins at the end of the night, but my money’s going on Tequila. In my personal battles with Tequila, I think the longstanding record is
Tequila: 50+
Crystal: 0
WOAH YOU BROKE THE CODE ON YOURSELF!!!!!
/WELCOME TO THE INTERNET
Yeah that was preeettty blatant. Your myspace and facebook will be blowing up shortly.
As soon as I clicked “Submit Comment” I knew I f*cked up, haha, owell…gotta learn the hard way I guess.
Thor, fix it for her.
Yes. Remove all record of the name drop.
I swear, it’s because I’m still 1/2 drunk from last night! That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it.
Why didn’t you tell me that’s who “u n-d” was at SS, Tech VonDouche?
/fark the code
Now you know
/and knowing is half the battle
Oooooh Crystal’s a hottie!
yah, I know. I just wanted a reason to call you “Tech VonDouche”
/easily self-amused
oy, is that new Moroccan restaurant open yet?
Do you want me to remove the listed name?
crystalcrystalcrystallllllllllll
shen..seriously?
Just keeping you busy
Hilarious!
for rizzle
I thought she was talking about what kind of glass she drank tequila out of.
Thor’s freaking cuz his real name is Crystal as well.
I’m about to pick up the red phone
I knew it!
shen just wants to see how many of her comments can get deleted in one afternoon.
@290 Is that code for taking care of your 3:30 business alone?
as a peon, it means I call HQ and have them bust out the helicopters and special forces teams… they then proceed to bring me booze
p.s. is 330 code for something naughty?
You’ll never take me alivE!!!!!!!!!!!
look @ 54
Shen, what was her name again- can’t get my computer to scroll
Some of us are still at work at 3:30. Lame.
Some of us are still at work at 3:30.
I know you have a boss. Go “ask” for a raise.
@298: Thor will beat me
@300: Ew. He’s like fat. And gay.
@299 Agreed. Can you girlies change your favorite time to something a little later in the evening…say 548 or something?
Sweet jeezus, let me get a couple drinks in me first. What about 11:30?
Oh man I’m like a sixer deep by 6 PM. That’s BEFORE I go to the gym.
echo, nope, still papered windows
When you girls set the time could you make it so it’s not during the Daily Show?
Look out ladies, dieter would rather watch the Daily Show than have sex with you.
Looks like a real man. ::eyeroll::
I dated this guy who always wanted to catch “Dirty Jobs” before we got down to business.
I have this assumption that guys are horny ALL the time? Is it right to assume that?
@306 Just make sure you’re laying towards the TV. Multi tasking is not a crime!!!
@307 You can have 23.5 hours Monday – Thursday and all of Friday thru Sunday-
During an entire 168 hour week I ask for 2 whole hours.
That’s 98.8% up time so to speak.
@309 I think that’s correct but I don’t have a crystal ball or anything
oh god, im never going to live this one down, am i?
So really, that’s like 3360 3 minute love sessions.
I have this assumption that guys are horny ALL the time? Is it right to assume that?
No.
There’s an approximately .05 nanosecond window of non-horniness right after we ejaculate
Does Crystal have a ball?
If you are Sting that would be 3 3360 minute sessions
Does Crystal have a ball?
If she has a boyfriend then she probably has 2 in her purse.
@316 Around 330 every day
Gawd, everything today has been about boobies, semen, and doing it. Y’all need to get some.
@320: See @242.
Shen – we’re just trying to make this thread overtake Pooping at Work as the most popular evar.
Anyone going to South Street this evening?
Lame. Pooping at Work was awesome.
South Street tonight?
Why go to SS when CDC is at Blue Light?
@320 not arguing with you.
Blue Light makes me blue
Crystal Crystal Crystal!!!
SS *before* CDC. Happy hour til 6:30.
/kids these days!
No more beeeerrrr, I need some liquor…I’d rather drink at my house for free before CDC
psst…fix your name
Also, that is a ridiculous statement, no more beer.
oh yeah i forgot that at my house it was different…….man i suck today
ps- i think cdc should be at biltmore next week b/c its free for me to drink there…just throwing it out there
I won’t be here next week, so they can have it at the corner if they want.