There is a new kickboxing/boxing gym in cville, and the owner/trainer is VERY enthusiastic about his business. I tried for a long time to get more info on training with him, and the following is our long-winded conversation. Frustrating always, but humorous none the less. I highlighted the funny parts in bold:
email #1:
What kind of kickboxing do you do?
response #1:
I do Boxing, Kickbox and Thaibox
email #2:
Are there any pictures/video you can send me? We want to feature this on www.cvillain.com Background info on the instructors would be good too.
response #2:
Are you boxing or not, i have no time for emails
email #3:
Couple questions:
- What is the class schedule?
- Do you have open gym hours where we can just use the bags without taking a class?
- Can you pay on a per-class basis?
response #3:
Hello Francesco,
No clasess we offer professional training.
Monthly fee is $60 per month plus $60 deposit fee.Month to month you can come and exercise, we prefer you sign for 3 months and
you go on after that.We are open Mon-Thur 5:30pm-9:00pm.
This is great experience and a awesome work out. You are basically paying for
personal trainer with Experience, you are paying for Boxing and like i said
GREAT work out!let us know when you are ready to come and join.
You are more then welcome to come for a 15 minutes free work out.
email #4:
Thanks for the info! I come to cville for work once or twice a month. I have
been training muay thai for 10 yrs and teaching too, so @ am looking for a
place I can hit the bags. Does this work for you or no?
response #4:
in or out
email #5:
You didn’t answer my question
response #5:
You pay for one month $60 and you can come 4 days a week. If you willing to work out with profesional come and yoin us
And here is his latest email blast/pr blitz (email is now equivalent to a website). How is it one prices a class based on experience????:
Welcome to the official website of XYZ. The owners are Former Boxers and Kickboxers. They will train you hard and professional. After all the hard training you will feel better, look better and you will build muscle. Boxing is a sport frequently berated by the news media. The less positive aspects of the professional code of the sport are oftentimes reported, whilst the positive aspects of the amateur sport go overlooked.
Feelings of self worth, discipline and a sense of achievement are all character traits that can be developed through amateur boxing. Its NOT about how tough you are! This misapprehension is insane and an injustice to the sport. By developing fitness a good work ethic and superb levels of speed and skill, we take ordinary people and turn them into CHAMPIONS.
The club is open to Men, Children and Women
(Children 8 years and up)MONDAY
5:30pm-9:00pmTUESDAY
5:30pm-9:00pmWEDNESDAY
5:30pm-9:00pmTHURSDAY
5:30pm-9:00pmFRIDAY
Appointments OnlySATURDAY
Appointments OnlySUNDAY
Appointments OnlyPRICING:
Price based on your experience
[pic]
Popularity: 56% [?]
Tagged as: boxing, gym, kickboxing, muay thai, trainer
Men, Children and Women
That’s an odd phrasing. Response #2 actually made me laugh. I’m not positive that English was this person’s first (or current) language.
i don’t think it is either. Grammar is excusable, but the actual personality and tone behind the responses are hilarious!
Grammar is excusable
Not around here it isn’t.
Also, does this place have a name?
hmmmmmm Kyle recommended I do not disclose the name for now…but I assume another villain will blow the whistle. Here are some clues:
-doesn’t have a website
-very close to the downtown mall
-advertises on craigslist
Dude, Francesco. This guy is going to kick your ass once he gets a web browser (ca. 2028) and reads this.
@3: I don’t know, I assumed it was “XYZ kickboxing” or similar.
Heh… a Google search for “XYZ kickboxing” has this cvillain post as the 7th highest search result:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=XYZ+kickboxing
How about ‘ Shit or Get Off the Pot Boxing Academy” with a catch phrase of ‘IN OR OUT’
@6: You’re a stupid fat idiot and I hate you.
/just now realizes “XYZ” was a placeholder
@3 dam that Google thing is fast…I guess its good I changed the name from the actual gym to XYZ
I found it on craigslist. Changing it to XYZ wasn’t much of a stretch.
@8: Lulu that’s no way to talk to yourself.
He doesn’t have time for email, but is relying on Craigslist for publicity?
What’s more an earlier CL posting contradicts what he told cVillain in his terse email.
It’s called AJC BOXING, KICKBOXING AND THAIBOX CLUB
in soviet russia box kicks you! Wait shouldn’t I be in the FWB thread
Are you boxing or not, i have no time for emails
So, I’m assuming they don’t use any sort of head protection while sparring…
I love the business entrepreneurship this guy is taking. Sounds like a guy you want to go drinking with:
“Wait, what are we about to do?”
“I have no time for questions!”
“But…”
“In or out?”
Later events of the evening will be forever chronicled in the daily progress…
Let’s all email them with a variety of requests like
a) Can I box in a tutu?
b) Does it hurt ?
c) Do you do dog boxing?
d) Are old people allowed to box, and if so do they have to wear Depends?
e) Can I just watch and take pictures? Do you get young girls coming in to box, and if so what time?
f) If I cry, do you do refunds?
Haha, if anyone emails them, send in the email and we’ll publish!
I just fired one off asking if they do classes for infants, and said my kid was 4 months old. I’ll let you know what abuse I get back.
/puerile is the new black
Flooze, I bet they tell you they can turn him into a champion before his first birthday. He’ll be this kid before you know it.
@20 wow…and I thought we were supposed to be chubby at that age
@21 speak for yourself
@20 you should have put the before picture
my old karate instructor said things like “drink lots of water so you can unirate (no that’s not a typo) clearly” & “attitude not aptitude gives you altitude.” maybe you have to be dumb to teach martial arts?
@16 I nearly spit my drink out when I read that
“I have no time for questions!”
/will forever be my response in ANY restaurant when the waitron asks, “Can I get you something to drink?”
//will be forever thirsty
If you knew the owner, this article is HILARIOUS. I go to AJ… er, XYZ and love it there. He’s definitely f’ing with Francesco and I like it. It’s a ton of fun and better than going to the boring a** gym.
just got a call from the boxing guy (yes at 12:50AM), he isn’t too pleased with this. I must protest its all in jest, you sound super enthusiastic about your club! The strange thing was he just told me that we used a picture of him without his permission. That pic is from Flickr, of a fight in Thailand between two Thai fighters…almost 99.99999% sure its not him, oh and the pic is blurry!
Anyways, to XYZ Boxing, no hate here, we love you, come join the fun! I know it is scary, but this is actually good for you.
@26:
you got my grits, or what?!
/best fried chicken EVAR!
His posts on Craigslist seem as clueless and poorly written as his emails. He doesn’t seem like someone playing a part to mess with Francesco in those emails.
How interesting that he was calling within a few hours. Local businesses need to pay more attention to blogs and message boards. They have such a powerful impact these days.
sounds like AJC wants to give francesco a pretty powerful impact, too.
One wonders if AJC will be at the party on Saturday night? That could make for some interesting conversation.
Francesco might get a free lesson!
My favorite part of the conversation “How do you know I’m not Thai?”
@29: you def have a point, I think this is great for his gym
@31: talk about guerrilla marketing!
To the Gym: I am still interested in doing a feature on the gym, its instructors, classes and training methods.
“Are local bloggers blogging about you? Has an RSS feed ever referred to you and your entrepreneuring local commercial establishment? Does the internet just kind of fucking annoy you?
“No problem!!! Sign up today for XYZ Kickboxing. And tomorrow: you’ll kick the internet’s ass.”
33: dude, sign me up. I hate the internet.
@33 - Awesome, memories of the ending to Jay and Silent Bob…
@25 - Yeah, maybe I have odd friends, but I have actually had that conversation with my roommate… lets just say it was an interesting night, and I am glad I wasn’t arrested.
Look, if the dude who wrote this email to Francesco is trying to post comments pretending to be Francesco saying things like “I love d*ck”, we’re not idiots. You’ve got more publicity that you ever would off of craigslist. Now, learn how to deal with it and grow up. Personal attacks are not allowed on this site and I will promptly ban your IP you if you continue doing it.
/drives me nuts.
and Thor throws the hammer down.
Uhhh…that was frickin awesome!
wow omfg.
He might have to put the smackdown like he did with Larry David:
But what if Francesco does in fact love d*ck? (Im certainly awfully fond of my own.) What if Francesco’s father is named Richard? What if he owns tons of Haliburton stock? What if he just scored 37 on that word in scrabble?
/so many possibilities beyond a juvenile insult
oh boy someone approved those.. time to do a rule post
/byo.. how much i love you
perhaps he meant that the pic @20 was him, and then he morphed into the Thai fighter at the top of the post
/most certainly far-fetched
Uh oh new people made dad mad. Watch out or they will end up posting evil Thor threads on craigslist. I can just see it now…”Cvillain sends virus to craigslist-angry moderator is to blame.”
oh boy someone approved those
Meaning they were comments awaiting moderation?
@45.. yes.
@44…why am i Dad? that sounds so unhip.
/Welcome to the internet?
@45.. yes.
Sweet! I’m off the hook. I don’t have those permissions.
Sweet! I’m off the hook.
Dont you mean “off the UNCUS”?
or it might be “i’m off bad media”
/snickers in juvenile delight
i can’t wait to join kickball and start KICKING EVERYBODY’S ASS ALL THE TIME.
@50 just don’t attack anyone with a 2×4 sized tree branch. i don’t want to have to suspend any more people for life.
@51 drinking events and people start fighting?
/reality
it’s only happened once.. no drinking involved (this is back when kickball started at 9am!), 2 people from the same team. it was pretty ridiculous.
paddywagon, the whole jazz.
@36: It took me a while to catch up and figure out what was going on. Did someone really try to imp one of the D/R boys? On their own site? And say he was gay? Really? They thought that would work? I LOVE smart people.
Francesco does like sausage…