I was sitting in my apartment when I looked out the window. The only animals I usually see are a little colony of feral cats, but this time, I saw a much larger animal. A LOOSE COW.. in the heart of Belmont. I didn’t have a camera with me. I called 911 and they were apparently trying to find this thing.
The brown and white cow was jogging (i.e. going pretty fast) down Nassau into the Carlton Bridge Condominius.
Did anyone else see it?
Picture from Scoobymoo
Popularity: 41% [?]
Tagged as: cow, terrorist
Did they catch the cow? I bet it’s delicious.
yeah, having a stockyard nearby has it’s excitement every now and then.
whoops. should have been its not it’s…..the grammar police are knocking now….
Yeah, they’re like the Gestapo. Good thing you fessed up.
lol a cow in Belmont? that’s my neck of the woods. someone is gonna have a hell of a BBQ . . . better have a big grill
I hope we can milk this story for all its worth.
I just skimmed over it myself.
I will bet that 2% of this story is bull.
Dude, what’s your beef with this story, Flow-uzi?
I liked the udder one better.
Not to say that this story wasn’t great… I think it is rare to see something so well done when you are trying to keep a happy medium.
Can you have a beef with a vegan?
Dieter…It depends whether there is a friendship at steak or not.
t-bone or strip?
Deet: asking a lady if she strips or t-bones is not a genteel topic for conversation in mixed company. We shall not allow you to disgrace the honour of our Miss Flooze.
Hmmmm…. english spelling of honor gives away much Lulu. Do you steer on the other side?
@lulu I not the one that turn this thread into a meat market,
wait, wait, wait… Floozy is a loose cow? well, i never….
@16: Whoa, “gives away much Lulu“? No one better be giving any of me away in this “meat market” (per dieter).
/has spelling idiotsyncrasies
//not a typo
Fresh TAR TAR on he hoof!
@20 Since it was a cow it had to be the “she hoof”
I believe the cow was an actor from the animal porn flick they’re filming in Belmont. It’s entitled Brown Chicken, Brown Cow.
I could have something to do with the leather forecast?
ooppsss… Grammar Police just texted me from Happy’s place - I meant to say “IT”
@3 To err is human; to forgive bovine.
@24 Nobody likes a cattle-tale.
Well I must say the torrent of puns you all provided were quite heifervescent. I thank you.
@27: What can we say, b-yo. It behooves us all to milk this kind of situation for all it’s worth.
Cows are the fourth funniest animal in nature behind ducks, platypi, and otters.
Penguins round out the top 5, in case you were wondering.
/decades of research
this thread is not at all amoosing. you guys should stop.
@22 Will the movie have any filletio scenes in it?
So suet us, buster. Sorry your loins are so tender.
Will the movie have any filletio scenes in it?
I suppose that depends on who’s cutting the movie, and I haven’t heard who the film editor is.
/oh man, I butchered that joke
and I haven’t heard who the film editor is
Quentin Tartartino?
Steven Spielburger?
Kobi Bryant?
Spike Lean?
Orson Welldone?
Tim Burgerton?
Those guys’ll demand a lot of moola.
/but I herd they’re Choice
Romantic leads:
Sandra Bullock
Tom Shanks
Oh, duh. Obviously it’s Kevin Bacon.
The director is famous swede, Lukas Moo-dysson (no really that’s his name)
Oh duh, Obviously its John Moo.
Maybe it’s another remake of the horseracing classic, The Belmont Steaks, starring Dustin Hoofman.
@39: A see no bovine connection. This isn’t a cattle call. You got a bum steer.
@42: People sell Stanley pigs and just tell him they are cows.
/Stanley’s antics put the laughter in slaughter
From your pasture to his future?
I loved that moovie. Soundtrack was by T-Bone Burnett. Used to have the dvd but I hocked it for a quarter when I was down on my luck. I herd it can be a pain in the rump to pawn things, but I’d tri that tip again just to get the stress off my shoulder.
Another leading man possibility is Ferris Buller. I have no beef with him (or his sister Jennifer Graze), even though it’s said he’s a bit of a shorthorn.
@31 Smiley…LOL.. you take the prize on this one with filletio. But what about cunnilingrass?
My friend just sent me this: the cow got hit on the road!!! I knew this thing was on a mission!
http://www.dailyprogress.com/cdp/news/local/article/the_commute_aug5/25780/
“Traffic is moving quietly, but the remains of Bessie, the heffer, remain in the median of I-64. Bessie was struck and killed in an overnight collision that was investigated by Virginia State Police and animal control.”
Awwww noo! Moment of silence for Bessie.
god what a fucking mess that must have been.
Mooment of silence.
when i grow up, i’m going to bovine university!
But seriously, how do you a hit a cow? They’re huge and they don’t exactly dart into the road. Some jerkface was speeding or drinking or not paying attention.
Yeah yeah, the cow died boo-hoo. What about the driver who was probably doing 70 and crashed head on into a 1,000+ pound animal. I hope he/she is ok.
@53 the cow probably didn’t have its flasher lights on. Might make it a bit hard to see when its standing in the road and you’re coming up on it at 70 MPH.
@54: I hope you get reincarnated as roadkill.
@55: If you’re paying attention, you should see a COW standing in the road. Plus, 70mph is speeding, isn’t it?
@56: I hope neither you nor anyone you know ever crashes into a deer (or cow) going 70 mph at night.
Yes 70 in a 65 is technically speeding, but it is the “acceptable” speeding that you never get pulled over for. Trust me, if they had been going 65, the outcome would have been exactly the same.
I have never hit any animals. I look where I’m going and don’t speed a lot. I’ve also been fortunate not to have any bears jump out in front of me.
I’ve never hit an animal either, but I’ve seen what happens when a deer and a car collide at 70 mph. I’m glad I wasn’t in the passenger’s seat.
Well, duhhh, deer are small and jump in front of cars. Once again, let me ask, how do you not see a freaking COW in the road???
I don’t know how you don’t see a cow. Can they even run?
@62 If it’s dark, you’re not going to see a cow in the middle of the interstate (hence the comment about flasher lights) in your headlights going 65 or 70 mph, esp. if you don’t have your high beams on. I almost hit a cow once that was standing in the middle of the road. I was driving (at the posted speed limit) on Rt. 221 in Floyd County. I came around a curve and the cow was just standing there. Let’s just say thank goodness for anti-lock breaks and some space between the road and the fence around the field beside it. Sometimes even if you see the cow, you don’t have enough time to stop/swerve/avoid hitting it.
Oh well, in that case, fuck the stupid cows.
cows get hit. they run
(not very fast)
usually after someone else
(who isn’t driving down the road)
decided to tip one of the herd.
/not talking table serving cows here.
//still wouldn’t duck out of the bill
@62 deers not that small. that’s why cars get banged up.
given a choice between a cow and oncoming traffic, i’d hit the cow.
@65 you gross.
I’m told that a steer was evident as roadkill on I-64 early this morning. Ouch.
@68: Yeah… as is being discussed for about half this thread. Do try and keep up.
Chill doc, he was just steering this thread back on topic.
if bessie had had this, the entire situation could maybe have been prevented…
that is what happens when patriot act meets the farm economy. pretty soon we will be hooked up with brain hardwired ipods running on solar power feeding us all the free music the govt wants to give us.