cVillain Blind Date

flamingo love
In our efforts to bring you the best online and offline experience, cVillain will attempt to set you up with other cVillains. Yes you heard right, you can meet and possibly date a real, live cVillain. Here is how it works:
Fill out the contact form
We will try match you up with someone
We will schedule the date/time/location for you
You show up, and pay attention to the details
We will interview you and see how the date went
We will post the blind date story on cVillain

Please fill out the form below to get started!

[pic]

  1. (required)
  2. Gender
  3. You are interested in
  4. (valid email required)
  5. Are you athletic?
  6. Are you intellectual?
 

or contact Spicy Bear Media

Popularity: 58% [?]

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174 Responses to “cVillain Blind Date”

  1. 13 Aug 2008 at 4:57 pmLulu said:

    Oh dear.

    /can see this ending badly in so many ways

  2. 13 Aug 2008 at 4:58 pmThor said:

    Do I get to give them a ride in the Chariot?

  3. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:01 pmbelmont yo said:

    Who is payin for dinner, the dates or spicey bear’s deep pot o’ honey.

  4. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:01 pmsaraj said:

    Well… “Date Lab” is my favorite part of the Sunday WaPo….

  5. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:02 pmLulu said:

    @3: A date doesn’t always have to be dinner. Variety is the spice of life. Or so I’ve heard.

  6. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:04 pmbelmont yo said:

    @ 5 Well then. Who’s payin for the lube and harnesses.

    /better?

  7. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:04 pmdieter said:

    If I could do this, I total would but alas the SO said no way.

    “ride in the chariot” Thor’s been using that line for eons.

  8. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:10 pmVanillavy said:

    We will try to arrange for date sponsorships….try to keep this serious, this could actually be good!

  9. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:11 pmFloozy said:

    This is a flipping brilliant idea. Can’t you add in a ‘platonic friendship’ option like on Craigslist for the folks in shackles but open to new friendships (with benefits?……)

  10. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:13 pmVanillavy said:

    ummmm i think we want to actually try to spark romance, not crazy acts of revenge! How about this..lets see how this goes…and if it turns out good, we can make a naughty version.

  11. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:16 pmdieter said:

    Pic of the first applicants from the Cvillain blind dating pool

  12. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:17 pmFloozy said:

    Naughty is my middle name Vanillavy :))
    /actually it’s Clive.

  13. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:19 pmCvilleLizzie said:

    This could be really interesting

    /”I’m not a liar but you’re interesting”

  14. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:19 pmFloozy said:

    Oh and by the way, if this isn’t the naughty version then you may want to remove the question about their preference for a particular position.
    /just sayin’

  15. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:21 pmCvilleLizzie said:

    Maybe preference means, boy, girl, other…

    te he.

  16. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:34 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    I see where you ask about criminal convictions but not where I can request a convict. What gives?

  17. 13 Aug 2008 at 5:35 pmGor-gor said:

    @6 Yeah no kidding - where’s the D/s option?? Sheesh.

  18. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:13 pmFloozy said:

    You should ask if they have ever done anything like intentionally cut an artery or climbed out a 9 story bathroom window to escape from a particularly bad date situation. I think it’s important to know shit like that.

  19. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:20 pmdieter said:

    Where is the space for cvillain log on? Favorite bartender at South Street. Favorite thread,
    Have you seen Floozy naked? Stuff like that

  20. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:20 pmmc said:

    oh crap. I think I’m gonna do this… what the hell. So far, all my dates this summer have provided nothing but comedy for my non-dateable loved ones. Why not share that comedy with my bloggers as well?

    /total humiliation imminent

  21. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:31 pmmc said:

    oh wait, I just read the questions. I got excited about this a few months ago when it was under discussion, but the thought of divulging all that info makes me… shy. still might do it… we’ll see.

  22. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:32 pmFloozy said:

    mc… I miss having you around
    /virtual hug

  23. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:34 pmmc said:

    WOWEE! thanks flooze! sometimes I miss being around. sometimes, not so much.

  24. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:38 pmorchid said:

    i had assumed this was a joke…

  25. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:41 pmbelmont yo said:

    where’s the D/s option?? Sheesh.

    and

    total humiliation imminent.

    I like where this thread is going…

    /your safe word ill be tartare. any questions?

  26. 13 Aug 2008 at 6:46 pmFloozy said:

    @19 Dieter… I just went over to Craigslist to find a funny pic of ‘me’ naked for you, and fucking Dick-rolled myself. OMFG WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? LOOK AT YOU HAIRY SAD ASSES AND COVER THE FUCK UP.
    /just no pleats.Please.

  27. 13 Aug 2008 at 7:07 pmGor-gor said:

    @25 yeah and I’m not into fireplay
    /this could be a whole new post but there might be a lot of WTFs and I guarantee you C-Ville and the Hook don’t write about that stuff

  28. 13 Aug 2008 at 7:10 pmSilmo Syrup said:

    Way to go MC!

  29. 13 Aug 2008 at 7:31 pmbelmont yo said:

    @ 27 Its not c-ville, its c-vanilla.

    /just sayin.

  30. 13 Aug 2008 at 7:39 pmGor-gor said:

    @29 Good one! I’m all out of double entendres.

  31. 13 Aug 2008 at 7:57 pmlisa said:

    LOL! I want to fill this out just to see who I would get matched with :D

  32. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:14 pmFloozy said:

    I think whoever gets matched has to commit to follow through, otherwise it’s a real insult to your match partner and is sure to hurt feelings. I suggest a fine or forfeit system for anyone just ‘window shopping’.
    / sorry Lisa… I just think it would be hurtful to be rejected.
    //big on not hurting

  33. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:17 pmlisa said:

    @32 Oh I know! It was just a curiosity thing, I wouldnt do something like this unless I was serious about following through :)

  34. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:20 pmuva non-douche said:

    @31, I concurr…I think we all have people we want to be secretly matched up with…

  35. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:25 pmFloozy said:

    Lisa….I know what you mean. I bet I would get W8LUCMDK and I would really like to get…..
    [WARNING……internet access suspended due to imminent drunken post likely to cause wailing and gnashing of teeth in the morning]
    /great idea.

  36. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:32 pmdieter said:

    @29 I tried to warn you

  37. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:33 pmdieter said:

    @26 i should turn that 9 upside down

  38. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:33 pmFloozy said:

    Dieter… WTF?

  39. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:36 pmFloozy said:

    Aaaah… sense returns. Look I warned Stanley … I knew what I was getting into , it’s just so sordid and pathetic. ‘ Hey Girls of Cville… I’m in the Econo Lodge on Emmett and here is a picture of my genitals. Form an orderly line outside room 9′. Ugggh.

  40. 13 Aug 2008 at 8:37 pmdieter said:

    I meant that the @29 should have been @26- which was meant for you. As in- I warned you not to go on Craigslist- as Shen had warned me - who I of course ignored

  41. 13 Aug 2008 at 9:57 pmbuster said:

    i take it as a telling sign indeed that this stupid survey refused to accept any of the several .jpg or .gif files i threw at it that were all well under 1MB. so, screw you, blind date people.

  42. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:27 pmorchid said:

    it’s not much of a blind date if there’s a photo, is it?

  43. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:34 pmlisa said:

    Floozy…..LOL! I will have to dispatch the internet gnomes reach through the suspended drunken internet moments to get the information :D

  44. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:43 pmmc said:

    ah, buster’s signing up? emboldening.

  45. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:53 pmTaliesin said:

    I have no doubt that I’d end up blind w/ B You in some musty, murky, fluffy stuffy honky tonk smoky blues traveling idea ravaged place talking about Eagles songs and the meaning of surfing and drinking really tall cool woman in a black dress kind of ice missing drinks. No really…

    You know or, I’d end up with Tripp who works out a lot and talks about Proust and how he prefers Rome. Either or. The narrative is all that matters. The journey is all that matters.

  46. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:55 pmTaliesin said:

    Oh…I’m back and bought an oceanfront summer cottage in Maine. Details to follow at SS on Tuesday. (I’ve missed the real journalistic news that ensues here at all times) REAL NEWS!!!!

  47. 13 Aug 2008 at 10:58 pmTaliesin said:

    B Yo. Shit. My plane got in at 2am last night and they lost my damn luggage. I’m fuzzy. Plus I’m drunk.

  48. 14 Aug 2008 at 1:57 ambuster said:

    @ 44 not if the survey won’t take my pictures! - and you can’t just not submit a photo because then it asks you to “submit something more substantial”. uh, i got your “more substantial” right here…

    /forget this, mc, let’s just go on a date without all this internets formality

  49. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:02 ambelmont yo said:

    @ 47 Its all good, My shit obviously sucks, and at least you had an excuse. Seriously. Im done beggin you bitches. Fuck you. Yes, you.

    It aint your fault I suck.

  50. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:30 amscoriole said:

    @49:

    yeah, you suck (that’s why we were dancing).
    and it isn’t anyone’s fault but yours (well..lately?!?!who knows what i typed 3 mintues ago).
    you suck (not my fault, as you said).

    duder- let go of the sad and breathe!!!!

    and stop beggin already.
    own it.
    (and p.s.- fuck off, emo)

  51. 14 Aug 2008 at 8:00 amBlanco Nino said:

    i’m surprised no one has mentioned that the hook used to have a column dedicated to this very concept back in the day. i, unfortunately, participated in their little experiment. it was rather awkward and lame. but hey. what blind date isn’t?

  52. 14 Aug 2008 at 9:05 amVanillavy said:

    okokokok, I must admit, I didn’t test this survey tool before I set it up…for that I am truly sorry and open to floor to mass criticism….

    The good news is the survey should work now (with picture upload). If not, please feel free to open a new version of the Free For All: V for Vanillavy

    So start your engines and submit away!

    Cheers
    V

  53. 14 Aug 2008 at 9:09 amThor said:

    /FAIL

  54. 14 Aug 2008 at 9:34 amVanillavy said:

    /Spicy Bear is a supportive, care bear loving environment…as you can see.

    //putting on jerk face

  55. 14 Aug 2008 at 9:50 amdieter said:

    @51 oh I think I might know your alter ego- but I do remember the code

  56. 14 Aug 2008 at 9:51 amLulu said:

    Why wasn’t this made a feature, to try and generate the highest level of participation? If it gets bumped too far down the main page, people might not see it.

  57. 14 Aug 2008 at 10:19 amVanillavy said:

    just changed it, blame Thor.

    /finger pointing

    //about to run away from lightning

  58. 14 Aug 2008 at 12:26 pmswing city said:

    what about couples for couples? is that an option?

  59. 14 Aug 2008 at 1:10 pmshenanigans said:

    I did the BDC for the Hook and got my palm read, then on the way to dinner a car hit me, then we went to South street and he talked about how much he like softball and being ni the choir. No second date.
    My question is, how do you do this and keep your identity secret?

    /wants a date with Flooze

  60. 14 Aug 2008 at 1:38 pmVanillavy said:

    Our plan is to not disclose villain names, or any type of villain association. This is open to anyone. Ideally we identify the two people, say generic John and Kate, talk about their background, and how the date went from each of their perspective’s. Fair?

    Common single people, I know you are out there…SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT!

  61. 14 Aug 2008 at 1:54 pmbelmont yo said:

    where’s the D/s option?? Sheesh.

    and

    total humiliation imminent.

    now

    SUBMIT!

    It just get better and better. Oh… wait…whats that? Common single people,? Yoda voice: THAT is why you fail.

    /freaks need love too.

  62. 14 Aug 2008 at 1:56 pmecho said:

    I know a lot of the Villains. It would be weird to get set up with one of them thinking it was a blind date. Better yet (or worse, depending on how you look at it) what if you were to set me up with orchid? I think the chance of the date actually being “blind” is pretty slim.

  63. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:02 pmdieter said:

    I’m just hoping someone gets set up with one of the alt’s

  64. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:04 pmStanley said:

    I know a lot of the Villains. It would be weird to get set up with one of them thinking it was a blind date

    I know the post refers to a going on date with a “real live cVillain”, but I surmised the intention was to interpret the term in the broadest way possible, meaning lurkers, too, and even people visiting the site for the very first time. So it would be a date between two people, both of which, one or which, or quite possibly neither of which comment(s) regularly on the site.

    I certainly doubt there’s any point in creating a dating service for the regulars who already see each other socially. But perhaps Milly-Vanillavy can clarify the vision.

  65. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:05 pmparlie said:

    I’m currently stranded in sitka, alaska. Everything smells like fish, and it’s been raining for 6 days. Over the past week I’ve developed a raging methamphetamine addiction, and my face was mangled in a bar fight at breakfast on monday morning. I work in a salmon cannery, and I doubt I’ll survive the winter.

    I would like to request a date with the nearest available woman, eskimo, or caribou.

    Thank you in advance,

    -parlituk nawagubuktuktuk.

  66. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:06 pmbelmont yo said:

    I’m just hoping someone gets set up with one of the alt’s

    What does this mean?

    I am busy selecting the most common picture I can find of myself. I mean, I want to attract my potential e-suiters by being as common as possible. Wouldn’t want to stand out or be unique or anything like that. Ah, here’s a good one….

    Hello ladies….

  67. 14 Aug 2008 at 2:16 pmdieter said:

    @66 Since many people seem to have alternative logons, there is part of me that would be amused if one got set up with their alt. Yeah I know it’s not going to actually happen.

    Or having Floozy and Shen get set up would be fun as well.

  68. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:07 pmshenanigans said:

    I wanna date with Floozy!!!!!!

  69. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:09 pmecho said:

    That would be HAWT!

  70. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:10 pmmc said:

    I suppose the question is why do we trust this anonymous panel of supervillains to set us up? does the reputation of being lustful party promoters translate into matchmakers? As I initially conjectured, the most attractive thing about this “blind” date is not the possibility of success (which is slim, I reckon), but for the comedy.

    On that note, parlie better fucking sign up when he emerges from his latest vacation rain cloud. And echo, if we get matched, we’ll just get wasted and hit on every stranger in sight. Dude, everyone should just sign up. If I’m getting sunk, I’m gonna drag you guys all down with me.

  71. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:22 pmotterdung said:

    #68
    wait, after all the flack i took for my franglais from Shenanigans, i still have to stand in line behind Floozy? Conceptually, though, i already like everything about standing in line behind anyone who would call themselves Floozy.

    #Generally:
    Man, this all seems high-risk for humiliation.
    Perhaps THOR could just make totally random assignments by screen-name to screen-name, rather than try to do it scientifically or using ‘feedback’ from the very funny entry-form. The ARE YOU INTELLECTUAL had me bent over cackling and spewing latte all over my computer-screen.

  72. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:24 pmStanley said:

    this anonymous panel of supervillains

    Hmm. Alternate theory: this is all just an evil plot by Thor to cherry-pick the laydeez he deems worthy of joining his harem. (Thor does have a harem, right?)

  73. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:24 pmmc said:

    The ARE YOU INTELLECTUAL had me bent over cackling and spewing latte all over my computer-screen.

    same. and I can’t figure out if “athletic” is code for thin, jock, sexually adventurous or what…

  74. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:28 pmStanley said:

    I can’t figure out if “athletic” is code for thin, jock, sexually adventurous or what…

    Presumably, it means “looking to score”.

  75. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:38 pmecho said:

    @72: No, oy has the harem. Thor has a stable. He needs something to move the chariot around.

  76. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:40 pmotterdung said:

    Wait a minute—i was just out lounging in the grass and had a terrible thought—what about the hazards, reputed to be so common in this part of the Country, of inbreeding—we wouldn’t want twelve-toed or earlobe-less Cvillains in the next generation…

    What if we were to, under Thor’s expert guidance, seek rather to match Cvillains with non-Cvillains, after the manner of, say, the Mongol Hordes or whatever hordes you prefer, forced interbreeding with the subject people’s they are occupying.

    Thor could send out notes to random eligibles out in the community:
    “You have been chosen for a selective breeding program launched by the Cvillain Empire….please make yourself immediately available for ‘favours’ to be rendered to Cvillain Belmont Yo (or Floozie or Colfer or whomever)…”

    I’m sure this would improve our standing in the community… immeasurably… and meet with the sage nod of approval from Cville Weekly who accused this site of being ‘trifling’…

  77. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:42 pmStanley said:

    inbreeding

    Every Shifflett gets a Morris; every Morris gets a Shifflett. Problem solved.

  78. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:44 pmecho said:

    mc, sounds like a plan.

  79. 14 Aug 2008 at 3:54 pmbelmont yo said:

    @ 76 “Just lay back and think of Belmont”

  80. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:06 pmotterdung said:

    Umm, perhaps for the project we could take up a collection and order some of these?

    With the Cvillain Logo and perhaps Thor’s face printed on them?
    (my browser won’t let me see the website, but i can guess):

    http://www.condomdepot.com/custom-logo-condoms/

    they MUST make a gender-neutral version of the product? (i’m new at this)

  81. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:11 pmThor said:

    LIKE WOAH

  82. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:13 pmecho said:

    I feel like Scowly condoms would scream “I have an internet problem”

  83. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:13 pmbelmont yo said:

    they MUST make a gender-neutral version of the product?

    Scowly Dental Dams®. But I have been selling them out of the trunk of my car for weeks now.

  84. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:14 pmbelmont yo said:

    @ 82

    When knockin boots dont grab your towlie
    wrap your rascal up in Scowly.

  85. 14 Aug 2008 at 4:48 pmotterdung said:

    @84

    aw, hell—i was trying to resist, but:

    consider the dread komodo-dragon
    whose terrible jaws drool by the flagon
    and if your mate is aqueous-jowly
    get dental-dams from maker Scowly®.

  86. 14 Aug 2008 at 5:14 pmorchid said:

    @62 ROFL! omg, that’s exactly my fear! but it would show what an evil genius vanillavy is :)

    @70 seems the matchmaking should be completely random to get the best results.

    is “food preference” what I prefer to eat, or what i prefer THEM to eat?

  87. 14 Aug 2008 at 8:52 pmFloozy said:

    Stick a Scowly™ on your knob
    Or a Dento-Scowly™ in your gob
    Scowleys keeps you safe from crabs
    And stop you getting oozing scabs.
    /sorry….really….well not really at all…fake really.

  88. 14 Aug 2008 at 10:54 pmmc said:

    oh sweet baby jesus, what have I gotten myself into.

  89. 14 Aug 2008 at 11:09 pmbuster said:

    @ 88 this is going to be big fun!

  90. […] this recent talk of blind dates and beer goggles got me thinking about some of my nightmare dates from hell. I think the singles […]

  91. 15 Aug 2008 at 12:33 amVanillavy said:

    so while all of you are giggling like children on the side, three brave villains have submitted their profiles…and they are all women! Men join the fun, and women, keep on coming!

  92. 15 Aug 2008 at 8:20 ambelmont yo said:

    @ 91 I dunno… how common are they?

  93. 15 Aug 2008 at 8:48 amBlanco Nino said:

    @55 - really? that column ran for a long time. but feel free to e/m me your guess and i’ll let you know if you’re right.

  94. 15 Aug 2008 at 10:07 amDeltaDelta said:

    The Hook had something about this for a long time(back 2005ish) called Blind Date Challenge…it was pretty funny to read. Girls were all about signing up for the blind date, but they had a lack of guys willing to go on a date and be read about. How they worked it was by getting the restaurant they picked (La Cocina…what happened to that place, Mellow, etc) to pay for the food and the date was responsible for drinks if they wanted any. Then they would ask the daters a series of questions when they got back. My favorite was the what would you rate them on a scale of 1-10 and even if through the comments, you thought the date went well, people were harsh. They ran out of boys though so the same dude kept getting set up with everyone, I think it was their intern, it was still fun to read though!

  95. 18 Aug 2008 at 4:58 pmreigunred said:

    So the dates are going to be written about on the blog? With names changed to protect the innocent, I hope…

  96. 18 Aug 2008 at 5:08 pmmc said:

    eh, I’m not worried seeing as there is a very slim chance of this actually occurring. this thing is so conventionally executed, villains need more than a public match.com date to get themselves excited. up the ante, admins!

  97. 18 Aug 2008 at 9:58 pmTaliesin said:

    Ugh. I haven’t been on a date since 1985. I’ve settled comfortably into unintentional uncomfortable celibacy (another great band name) also “suicidal fish” which reminds me of when a roommate of mine back in the day accused me of murdering her fish…I didn’t, but I wanted to murder her in her sleep (she was from Jersey so you can understand) I said they were just suicidal. She looked at me quizzically and asked me if I wanted a cocktail. I said it wasn’t 1954, but sure. Throw down The Sinatra and maybe some White Cliffs of Dover and I’m all over it.

    I wouldn’t have a clue how to go about dating. Not doing it. I would be the ultimate idiot. Uncool beyond belief. Wouldn’t be prudent. Is this on topic? I wouldn’t want to go all off topic.

  98. 18 Aug 2008 at 10:24 pmicenine said:

    “inbreeding

    Every Shifflett gets a Morris; every Morris gets a Shifflett. Problem solved.”

    Hysterical (for many reasons), sad (for an equal number of reasons), but very witty.

    @94, I remember that shit. I think they abbreviated it to the BDC. Yeah, I think they couldn’t find enough dudes for the chicks, then they went gay for one or two “episodes”, then it was gone. I liked the BDC. It was like the “Ask Dr. Hook” of 2004-5.

    @59, Shen, I remember that one. I thought the car nicked you though…not a direct hit….I might be wrong though.

    PS- what was it about softball and the choir that turned you off?

    /just wonderin’ ;-)

  99. 19 Aug 2008 at 2:16 pmshenanigans said:

    When’s my date, Vanillavy?

  100. 19 Aug 2008 at 2:19 pmdieter said:

    @99 whenever Floozy says yes, duh!

  101. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:05 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    I gotta say, this is very, nay a-verruh tempting to me, but I’m a little scurred. Especially if I’m the lone guy that’s signed on to this thing.

  102. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:16 pmFloozy said:

    Tuffy…. what’s the worst that can happen?… Parlie turns up at the assigned meeting place (Chick-a-filet at Lowes) in a blonde wig and a Lily Pulitzer dress and forces you to buy him a cone with sprinkles at Kohr Bros and then sexually interferes with you on the merry-go-round. It’s a funny tale to tell your grandkids one day…no?

  103. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:25 pmparlie said:

    this just got weird.

    haha just kidding, it’s been weird all along.

  104. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:37 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    Ok, so I just tried to submit and I got “File not accepted, file type not allowed.” Probably b/c the picture I submitted was of me finishing my 639th pushup in 2 hours.

    Any idea how to fix? The pic was only 100kb.

    /sexually interferes. Great term.

  105. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:39 pmDoc said:

    Evil Kyle and the Thors* are still on the cover of CVILLE, no? Might bring some more people in.

    After the weekend, maybe this should go back into the main spot on the front page to try and nab any of them college folks that may go awanderin’ by.

    *My band name

  106. 24 Aug 2008 at 3:44 pmbelmont yo said:

    Fuck it. Im signing up.

  107. 24 Aug 2008 at 4:59 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    It’d be cool. No one likes me tough.

  108. 24 Aug 2008 at 5:54 pmmc said:

    I don’t think it’s weird enough. Daters should be required to commit a petty crime … small theft, property defacement… or start a fight. or do something really reprehensible, like live blogging. or go on a fucking scavenger hunt. SOMETHING.

    (buster had photo problems, too. they said they fixed it. stupid admins.)

  109. 24 Aug 2008 at 6:42 pmFloozy said:

    mc…. that’s a brilliant idea. A scavenger hunt would quickly surface any compatibility issues.
    /I heard a rumor that Parlies right hand has submitted its profile. Can anyone confirm?

  110. 24 Aug 2008 at 7:54 pmorchid said:

    @105 undergrads?! now oy will sign up for sure.

  111. 24 Aug 2008 at 9:08 pmparlie said:

    @109 yeah, and my left hand is fucking pissed.

  112. 24 Aug 2008 at 9:37 pmeduardo said:

    what about the fags? we need love too.

  113. 24 Aug 2008 at 9:45 pmparlie said:

    hey can you guys tell me where the high school girls hang out around here?

  114. 24 Aug 2008 at 10:18 pmcougarvillain said:

    why, they’re all over at my house, Hansel…er..Parlie! just walk through the woods til you see the gingerbread shutters…

  115. 24 Aug 2008 at 10:49 pmbackup planet said:

    parlie, they don’t hang out, we’ve got them all locked in their closets - because of you, dude

  116. 24 Aug 2008 at 11:31 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    parlie, I hear you man. After 15 years, I finally feel comfortable talking to high school girls.

  117. 24 Aug 2008 at 11:45 pmbelmont yo said:

    Drunk posting for jebus! After weeks of emotional beatdowns and overdue bad karma collection agencies ringing my fucking bell… two absolutely awesome things happened this weekend! One I cant talk about (dinner!) but the other involves the BDPF… update tomorrow, workload permitting.

    Im all hopped up on benzos and liquor atm, but Im cashing that shit in tomorrow if in fact the kind of kindness that I experienced today actually exists in the world. Living well, indeed, will be the best revenge! Gah! Maybe Im manic. Wish me luck y’all… separating the selfish from the selfless… I believe that’s the key. and actions speak louder than words. Golden fucking rule bitches, its more than just words. Heed this truth.

    But then again, what the fuck do I know.. maybe fate’s just tossing me bones only to fuck me in the ass harder later, because it figured I gave up, but I have to take that chance. You can have my hope when you pry it from my cold hard soul… fuck yeah! Keep hope alive. I may pull this “life’ thing off after all!

    Bring it!

    /drunk posting, once a tradition, now forgotten? I wanna see some souls on sleeves when I wake up in the morning…

  118. 24 Aug 2008 at 11:59 pmmc said:

    yay for a happier belmont!

    soul sleeves/a>

  119. 25 Aug 2008 at 12:00 ammc said:

    ugly, but it works.

  120. 25 Aug 2008 at 12:09 ambelmont yo said:

    Confess bitches! Be free! Your binary capes can only insulate your loneliness. Wave your freak, shame, joy flags high and proud.

    Life is too short. Ii have given you my ugliness and been forgiven, what make you think your results will vary/

    /nobody expects the belmont inquisition! Wharrgarble!

  121. 25 Aug 2008 at 12:12 ambackup planet said:

    whoa, wtf, belmont, didja win the freakin lottery or what???

  122. 25 Aug 2008 at 12:14 ambackup planet said:

    hopefully, something is good happenin for ya, but I can’t tell…

  123. 25 Aug 2008 at 12:40 ambelmont yo said:

    One minor kindness in a sea of sorrow appears as a beacon of shining gold. And grasp it I shall, for inspiration, which, of late has left me cold.

    Lottery, no, as it is merely a tax on folks who cant do math. Everyone inmy life has only ever just wante d achunk of me, and ZI gave. Gave til I had almost nothing left. And then I just felt shitty cause I had nothing left to give. Today, someone gave to me. Something meaningful and beautiful, and now I know that my years of golden rule anachronism might actuallly be real. Fucking kindness! I saw it. Amazxing in its simplicity. Awesome in its power.

    I am currently losing neurological contact with my fingers, so I will try to elucidate tomorrow. Time for six or so hours of sleep apnea, and then a relaxing eight hours of brutal, soul destroying cube life. Se all you private closed up anonymous bastards tomorrow. Shala lala!

    /my eyes. look in them, and see the truth.

  124. 25 Aug 2008 at 1:13 am4fuxs8k said:

    I hope its just the first wave of a changing tide. You deserve it.

  125. 25 Aug 2008 at 1:26 amLulu Fishpaw said:

    Byo, hope things are on an upswing for you. You seem like a great guy, and the mixes on your site are hot.

  126. 25 Aug 2008 at 1:29 ambackup planet said:

    wow, all i can say/comment is it sounds like you’ve been due some, son. more power to ya.

  127. 25 Aug 2008 at 2:43 amscoriole said:

    WTF is BDPF?!
    .still N00B

    Belmont, yo- i hope you are well.

    truly.

    on another note, drunkenly moving to the free for all so one of the many thors don’t toss lightening bolts at me (thougt if i thought rain would ensue, i would try my best to piss him/she/it/that off).

  128. 25 Aug 2008 at 2:57 amscoriole said:

    @91. due respect to your brave cvillvain blind date endeavor.

    i have lived here long enough to find out that whichever (other than uva student) demigraphic you may cross(okay i’m in the restaurant professional over 25 crowd, music seeker, non coke addict holistic therapy crowd who gets heirloom tomatoes stolen from the backyard crowd)…

    oh wiat, i meant to interject herer, that whatever the crowd, it looks to ladies the same way…

    i excpect i may fill out the form and get denied because one of the matches might already know who i am and it is too difficult to work it out(man, it’s so nice here in the sad place-it’s scary to get through being human and find real stuff- i’d rather stay here where i’m sad, it’s comfortable, so what if i miss out on happiness and that thing i’m more comfortable missing than accepting.)

    and given it’s charlottesville- they actually believe they are peter pan and never have to grow up.

    or are so warped they still don’t believe anything good can actually happen.
    or are in grad school and way to cool(read=reallllly boring to talk to)-because thier life goal is money. no reason, just lots of money.

  129. 25 Aug 2008 at 7:51 ambuster said:

    @ 128 i figure you mean law school and the like, but i assure you that most grad school students (read: useless liberal arts folk who can’t decide what to do with their lives) are not in it for the money.

  130. 25 Aug 2008 at 8:14 amorchid said:

    @129 i am.

  131. 26 Aug 2008 at 2:43 pmVanillavy said:

    ladies and gents, we have 3 women and 1 man submitted so far. Nothing looks even close to good enough to setup a blind date, so tell all your friends to jump on the freak-train and submit a profile. I am actually trying to make good matches here I swear!

  132. 26 Aug 2008 at 2:55 pmshenanigans said:

    I do not like them odds.

  133. 26 Aug 2008 at 2:59 pmmc said:

    I’m trying to drum up support, but it’s not easy when the survey keeps being lame (see 104) and the whole thing remains a boring ripoff of the uncus deal. maybe we’ve become a far less flirty bunch than we used to be.

  134. 26 Aug 2008 at 3:05 pmbelmont yo said:

    I was going to sign up, but then considered: who the fuck would want to be matched up with a lunatic like myself? All you people are so, i dont know… sane.

  135. 26 Aug 2008 at 3:05 pmorchid said:

    lilith suggested this whole thing back in november, & if SHE couldn’t get it to happen…

  136. 26 Aug 2008 at 3:34 pmVanillavy said:

    @133 all entries so far have pics attached and seem to have uploaded properly.

    @135, remember this is the first time we are organizing this type of thing, despite previous mentions. its all a game of numbers and right now 4 is too little.

  137. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:04 pmmc said:

    4 is too little.

    I heard size doesn’t matter.

    also, if the photo doesn’t load, the thing doesn’t submit. so you wouldn’t have gotten it… right?

    I give up… I’ll get my vicarious romance horrorshow thrills the old fashioned way: reading missed connections in craigslist.

  138. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:06 pmshenanigans said:

    If mc puts on a blond wig and makeup, she looks exactly like Hannah Montana. You boys know you wanna piece of that.

  139. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:13 pmorchid said:

    @137 not true!

  140. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:17 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    I’m going to sign up! People love me just check out CL.

  141. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:22 pmmc said:

    @138: duuuuuddde, you promised that was a special thing just for us!!! oh man, everyone’s getting outed today!

  142. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:22 pmshenanigans said:

    @140: You’re gonna have to establish your own rep over here dude.

  143. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:28 pmAnti-Freeze said:

    @142. I will try harder! There are more real people here.

  144. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:34 pmVanillavy said:

    just checked the survey form and the photo upload is not required, but, it does help.

  145. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:36 pmbelmont yo said:

    I heard size doesn’t matter.

    You heard wrong.

    I probably shouldn’t touch this topic though lest I get a rep like W8L…

  146. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:39 pmshenanigans said:

    This place is all penises and vaginas today. Dang.

  147. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:40 pmecho said:

    @146: Don’t blame us. You’re the one with an entire thread about your box.

  148. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:43 pmVanillavy said:

    here is the line

    ——————————————————————————————————-

    and here is Echo

  149. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:44 pmshenanigans said:

    In 16 minutes you can all go home and whack off.

  150. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:46 pmfive said:

    @149. We’ll meet at your box?

  151. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:47 pmthe horror said:

    @149 I’ll wait to find out what’s in your box.
    spider webs perhaps?

  152. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:47 pmshenanigans said:

    Let’s all go eat @ The Box tonight. I heard it just opened.

  153. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:50 pmthe horror said:

    How many will The Box hold?

  154. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:53 pmbelmont yo said:

    Is SS poppin tonight, or will I just be watching people watch tv.

  155. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:55 pmecho said:

    @154: It’s Tuesday and I’m in town, so regardless of who else decides to show up, I will be there, beer in hand.

  156. 26 Aug 2008 at 4:56 pmfive said:

    SS is poppin tonite!

  157. 02 Sep 2008 at 10:22 amCurious said:

    Why do you need a picture if this is going to be a blind date?
    Can you clarify on whether we get a free meal out of it?

  158. 02 Sep 2008 at 10:24 amCurious said:

    also, why do you need to know where we work? I don’t mind the date and VanillaNavy knowing this info, I just don’t want it accidentally getting published

  159. 05 Sep 2008 at 10:53 amVanillavy said:

    @ 157-158: we are trying to match people based on preferences stated in the form….so if a girl doesnt like baseball caps, and u send in a pic with your fav wahoo cap, it helps us out. also, if there isn’t a pic, the form looks sketch, like would you not send it in if everyone else has? the work thing also gives us insight (because we all have PhD’s in relationship psychology DUH) into a potentially good match.

    and…..

    the entire evening will be paid for (except tip/gratuity you cheapo’s). more details to come, we just need more applicants! the tally so far is:

    men:4
    women:4

    gay:1
    straight:7

    i know there are more single people in cville, liars

  160. 08 Sep 2008 at 4:05 pmCurious said:

    I`d think that you shouldn`t be so choosy seeing as how there`s only 8 people to choose from. Just set ‘em up Joe. I just don’t want my picture, or part of my photo in a clever attempt to hide my identity, to show up on Cvillain. Plus, it’s not really about baseball caps. We all should be ready to step outside our comfort zone if we’re ready to try a publicly-reported blind date. I would relish nothing better than hearing some Cvillain say “Ya know he was, like, nice and all but I don’t usually date Asian transsexuals.” Nothing would please me more than reading such a confession.

    If you want to confirm our identity, just have us meet Vanillanavy ahead of time and bring ID.

    On the TV dating shows, the best ones are always the ones that are train wrecks. I’d rather read about those than “yeah…we hit it off…we went to Blue Light…I’d date him again…” Blah. Me want suffering.

    Or…

    Spin this off into a makeover deal. Meet the daters separately hours beforehand and tell them what not to wear.

  161. 08 Sep 2008 at 4:07 pmCurious said:

    also…I am perhaps one of many people who are waiting for the first episode to happen before we venture into this, so go ahead and start the dates, then more people will sign up. Unless you humiliate the daters. tee hee

  162. 08 Sep 2008 at 4:12 pmThor said:

    I think humiliation isn’t allowed, but who am I to say?

  163. 08 Sep 2008 at 5:19 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    it continues. Upon submission, I get “File not accepted, file type not allowed.”

    /is this thing on?

  164. 08 Sep 2008 at 5:20 pmThor said:

    email your stuff to gossip@cvillain.com

  165. 08 Sep 2008 at 5:31 pmSpuds Mcdonuts said:

    @164 well if I email you my stuff, what will I use for the date?

  166. 08 Sep 2008 at 5:42 pmThor said:

    Your soul.

  167. 08 Sep 2008 at 5:50 pmSpuds Mcdonuts said:

    @166 Wait, you are the devil aren’t you

  168. 08 Sep 2008 at 9:01 pmshenanigans said:

    @167: I will go on a date with you if you still have that baby pool full of choco puddin. $240 worth I presume!!!

  169. 08 Sep 2008 at 10:26 pmVanillavy said:

    @160: so if you dont want your pic/name revealed, we wont. And we are definitely not after humiliation, but more about bringing the inside scoop of the date scene to cvillain. By that I mean we want to hear both sides of the story. So if you think the date went great and your date thinks you stink like caca and would rather eat a dead vulture that ate a dead raccoon after it turned rabid, we definitely want everyone to know.
    you dig?

  170. 08 Sep 2008 at 10:33 pmSpuds Mcdonuts said:

    @168 would you rather the pudding or the cash? or does the date just have to call that much?

  171. 08 Sep 2008 at 10:35 pmSpuds Mcdonuts said:

    cost not call

  172. 08 Sep 2008 at 11:06 pmTuffy McFucklebee said:

    @168 - Barry and Levon! Awwwwww yeah. Two hundred. And forty dollars. Wortha puddin’. Awwwww yeah.

    Girl, that ain’t no couch. That’s a luuuuuuuuuve seat.

  173. 08 Sep 2008 at 11:40 pmSpuds Mcdonuts said:

    @172 Cook and Chill- Cook and Chill.

  174. 09 Sep 2008 at 1:24 ambackup planet said:

    wow, wish i wasnt so married and all….

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