Today marks the first day of the fully operational atom battlestation, a 27km particle accelerator that blasts tiny things into each other at 99.999999%% of the speed of light (not joking). It’s called the LHC or Large Hadron Collider and is a $5 billion toy for scientists to play with things like the meaning of life. I couldn’t even understand the Wikipedia entry:
Its main purpose is to explore the validity and limitations of the Standard Model, the current theoretical picture for particle physics. It is theorized the collider will produce the elusive Higgs boson, the observation of which could confirm the predictions and missing links in the Standard Model of physics and could explain how other elementary particles acquire properties such as mass.
I have no idea what that means, but I do hope that this means I can drink without getting hangovers in the near future. Here is a rap video for you to learn more:
You can watch a live test (although no particle smashing) here.
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You have to watch the live testing.. the commentary is hilarious.
so this could be the last comment we post on cVillain ever?
That sound you heard in the middle of the night? That “sproing” was the collective erection of 9,000 physicists as the Large Hadron Collider was fired for the first time.(stolen from fark)
This is the search of the Higgs boson, which is called the god particle. Thor can tell us all about it, right?
Hello, earthlings. While my prior name was Thor, I have been converted into a digital manifestation to communicate with you. At 1000 hours on September 10th, 2008, the HLC, imploded, thereby creating a blackhole fission reaction with inversely dynamic magnetism. In short, this molecularlized the entire universe, except for me and the internet (we narrowly escaped on my chariot).
While metaphysical existence is pretty sweet, I would suggest that you boycott the HLC’s test in the next hour so as to save your drinking habits (there is no drinking in metaphysical existence).
Aww yeah I’m about to Drop some particle physics in da’club.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM
the HLC
Wow. Thor has typos in the future, too. So not everything is so different.
I think Thor of the Future is trying to send us a message…?
High Liquor Consumption?
High Liquor Consumption?
In the future, everyone’s liver has been replaced by a blackhole, which means everyone can get ∞(drunk), which actually isn’t that great, because the only booze in the future is peppermint schnapps.
People who are concerned about turning the thing on are worried that it will create a black hole.
The people who are turning it on said (somewhere, a NYTimes article perhaps) basically “don’t worry, even if it does create a black hole it will evaporate rapidly.”
I’m very comforted, personally.
If I lived in Switzerland, I’d be worried that the whole thing is going to cause one of those electric hums like a really old window air conditioner unit. Some sort of oscillating sound that no one there will be able to get away from. I hate those.
i know everyone has seen this, but it’s still funny:
http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/
Actually the Higgs boson is the thus-far hypothesized particle that gives all other particles (electrons, quarks. . .) their mass. I think that they could have found them for much less money. By my calculation, every bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale contains at least one free Higgs boson. These little bastards have been giving me additional mass with every bottle! (don’t ask how many bottles)
This takes place in the French village of Crozet… Whoa!
@12 I bet that one IS actually pronounced crozz-ett.
i also found the higgs boson once. i hadn’t slept for weeks, and had dozed off for a second at the wheel somewhere between junction city and wichita, kasas. at the time i had a job running the night delivery for a big meth manufacturer; he liked to source his ingredients in bulk from a lot of different sources, to keep the arms of his operation unaware of each other, for security purposes…
that’s not the point.
point is, i dozed off somewhere on state route 77, headed south with a truck full of battery acid, a properly dangerous situation if i’ve ever known one. when i came to there was blood everywhere, and i heard a tiny little vvoice. i looked up and there on the steering wheel was the tiniest little speck of dust i do believe i’ve ever seen, and he was hollerin’ at me! it was the higgs boson, i tell ya, and i’ll be damned if he didn’t scream right in my ear,
“DON’T FORGET TO BRING A TOWEL!”
parlie, that post collided the particles of Douglas Adams and Hunter Thompson
@14: Get back in the basement
Seriously, I feel smarter after watching that rap. Not sure my life will ever be the same. Rock on nerd news!
17: I enjoyed it, but I felt a lot dumber afterwards. I didn’t understand anything. dimensions that curl up and particles that explore inside them and then evil twins that can’t exist together, except when they can and MUST exist? whoa. my liberal arts brain just smashed into 8 million pieces after hitting the glass ceiling of science.
This is actually fascinating. One thing they often neglect to mention is the impact the results of this could have on organized religion. Once it is operating at full power (2010, I believe), it could potentially help explain why the Big Bang Theory is slightly off, thereby explaining the natural creation of the universe.
@18. And that is why you must skip over all of Europe and hop straight to Saudia Arabia to find a population as uneducated in science as we are in the US!
/Remember, kids,watch out for the woolly mammoths on the way to school.
//Go Sarah Palin!
20: oh, I was educated in science. It just didn’t take.
Dear LHC, please explain to me anti-matter, and maybe send some pictures of some particles colliding… best desktop background ever.
@21: I’m still trying to drop science on you. I won’t give up! You’re one stubborn gal.
oh, Dr. Tuffy, no fear. your type of science I can wrap my head around somewhat and I won’t stop requesting your impromptu lectures. but particle physics and creating universes in a tube in switzerland? not a clue.
science rawks!
Did you know that you have 6 feet of DNA – in every cell?
Stretched out, end to end, you have about 10 million miles of DNA in you.
/particles moving at relativistic speeds hitting each other does not a black hole make – happens alla time in the universe
Hmmm… that only puts us in the 8.8 billion cells per person range.
6 ft = 0.001136364 mi
and
0.001136364 mi / cell
if
10,000,000 mi / you
then
(10,000,000 mi / you) x (1 / 0.001136364 mi / cell) = 8,799,997,184 cells / you
But the rule of thumb is that a given person has 10-50 trillion cells. So either we’re cramming a lot more DNA in those cells, or we’ve got a helluva lot more cells than the math provides.
/cellmate
the number I saw was 20 million kilometers, so I guesstimated it into ‘merican. Number still don’t work tho
/dude, you can’t bring logic into science – what’s wrong with you?
But the rule of thumb is that a given person has 10-50 trillion cells.
Wow, now there’s the difference between scientists and engineers. If I designed something with a tolarence of plus or minus 20 trillion, I would no longer be employed.
@28 – very nice. That’s why I do science that you can count. I’ve tried taking a body apart and counting the cells. It’s soooooooooo tedious. I can’t afford all the dry ice and garbage bags.
Also, regarding the LHD: http://www.bigfatwhale.com/archives/bfw_374.htm