Throughout the history of the internet dot com, internet users have assumed pseudonymous monickers—nicknames that, to varying degrees, conceal the true identities of those who peck away snarkily at their keyboards. It’s basically like a Bruce Wayne/Batman situation, but with fewer explosions and more semicolons.
Consistent with said pseudonymical tradition, it has been suggested that this particular blog website remote internetical outpost might benefit from the mirth and merriment resulting from an intentional shifting of these nicknames. That is, people want to see what would happen if everyone switched pseuds.
I support the people and hereby offer you a single thread for the farcical self-concealment of your choosing. Some ground rules:
- Be nice. Just because you’re extra-super-duper pseudonymous doesn’t mean it’s time to open the floodgates of bile. Or whatever.
- Play local; stay local. For sanity’s sake, please keep the pseud-switching identity to this thread.
- Unless! The exception to #2 would be those who wish to make a permanent pseudonym switch. You have the freedom to do so at any time, and today qualifies as “any time”. Be aware that a permanent change in pseuds has been associated with a number of serious side effects, including nausea, failure to receive e-mail, headache, and a generalized feeling of loneliness. However, the benefits may, in some cases, outweigh the costs. Ask your inner doctor if a permanent pseud switch is right for you.
- Hazard a guess. You’re free to guess at who’s who in the new world of pseuds, but don’t expect anyone to confirm anything. In fact, vigorous denials are probably the appropriate tack for anyone whose One True Identity is being guessed at.
- Hello, lurkers! If you’ve been lurking, this thread is a primo opportunity to chime in and confuse us all. I highly encourage such behavior. Also: stick around afterwards. We have a stunning supply of boxed wine and stale pretzels in the kitchen, and you really should help us polish it all off.
- My blanket rules; let me show you them. All the standard caution flags listed here still apply. Offer not valid in Nebraska. Okay, just kidding, Nebraska. You can play, too, if you want.
So? Are you ready?
Oh. Right. You need a topic.
Your topic is subjective preferences. I invite you to list three or more subjective preferences of any sort. For instance, I might say, “I find West Side Story to be the seminal work of musical theatre of the 20th Century. Chocolate ice cream is delicious. And, boy, I sure could go for another iteration of television’s Law and Order.”
None of which, mind you, is necessarily true for me, though I’d encourage your submitted preferences to be true for you. Or not. Really, do whatever you want. Go nuts. Have a ball. Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. And try not to get hurt or hurt your fellow passengers.
And most importantly: welcome. Welcome to the internet. Dot com.
Popularity: 20% [?]
Tagged as: fun, internetz, meta, mirth, pseudonym switching, silliness
Sorry, can’t no one have mine. Use it too much in the really real world, what with my lacking any interest in anonymity.
Not that I’m here enough for it to matter anyhows. I’ll leave the real Cvillains to it then.
No one can have mine either.
/wait, what?
Coming up with 3 preferences was harder than I thought. Okay:
I prefer french toast to waffles. Specifically french toast made by a loved one the morning after you are loved by the one.
I prefer Greek mythology to Roman because I feel it is somehow more authentic and original and these are qualities I prize even as I don’t bother to substantiate them.
I prefer mass transit to driving with a tolerance of transit taking up to 50 % longer. I feel this makes me a superior person to those who like the convenience of arriving somewhere “on time” and “not sweating from walking an extra 5 blocks from the transit stop to the destination.”
1. The cello is the most pleasant-sounding of the stringed instruments.
2. I would watch the movie Backdraft again, and I would enjoy it or purport to enjoy it.
3. Mr. E’s guidance on breakfast foods is wise, with the stipulation that proper French toast is made with actual (somewhat stale) French bread.
@2: Well played, clerk. Well played.
i want to have sex with everyone.
feels good to get that off my chest.
@3
That’s so lame-o Mr. E, not like my BJs.
Fernch toast is really LE Toaste Francaise, so that’s FAIL, also like Toulouse Lautrec says “PEace Out Bizothces”
Greek Myths have lots of hair-chested guys, but they rub themselves with oil naked and throw discuss ensemblement so are no bon pour moi. Romans ware cool sandals that wrap up their muscled calves sont tres bons and drink Italian cru vintages like this one i’m drinking now, vive l’italia.
that’s so lame Mr E. my piece of shit car could take your silly bus anyday IN BED!.
Une: Je like boxes because i get them and you don’t parce que you are des ponies de one trick.
Douce: Le wine is fine but le whiskey is quicker.
Tres: Spelling eeeez for des idiotes unless it’s spelled in French, which is the Mother of All Tongues (like the one i use for talking about beeejays)—so going drown yourself in a vat de moutarde, Stanley.
1. There is a juvenile satisfaction to the [somewhat] benign rebellion of not cleaning it up after your dog when it takes a shit. Unless, of course, the dog has pooped somewhere high-traffic, like the middle of the Downtown Mall. My moral justification is that if you put every bit of “business” that your doggy “deposits” in an individual plastic bag, over the lifespan of the dog that would add up to as much as >10,000 little plastic bags, piling up in a landfill somewhere. It’s much better, I fervently prosthelitize, to let nature take its course and let the microscopic organisms and little bugs and such turn the doody into fertilizer. The grass where we routinely “drop the kids off” is always greener.
2. Quoting your favorite TV show or movie is the modern cultural/social equivalent to parlor games, tea time traditions, reading seriel-novels aloud, playing charades, and other such pass-times of days gone by. Nothing can bring a group of people together faster than trading impressions of Will Ferrel saying, “I’m Ron Burgundy?” and re-enacting skits from The Kids in the Hall.
3. It is never funny to joke about rape. Unless you are Sarah Silverman. Then it is hilarious.
@6
no gender clues there.
Is this one taken? No? Good. I’ll claim it as my own.
I find Mas to be an overrated dining experience. A poor woman’s Jaleo, if you will. It’s not that any one part of the evening stands out, it’s that no part of the evening stands out. A great big ball of ennui wrapped up in bacon. Perhaps it was better when it was New! and Fresh! and Different!, but now it seems merely meh. I’d rather go to a dozen different places on and around the Downtown Mall or West Main before heading back to Mas.
Depending on the day, I find myself preferring cvillenews less as compared to cvillain. Waldo’s gang of commenters (I know they’re not really his commenters, but you know what I mean) just keep beating the same dead horse over and over. Which is not like here at all! I like his sideblog a lot though. That’s where I tend to find my enjoyment on cvillenews.
I prefer Belgian waffles over French toast and American pancakes. Especially with homemade icecream. Yum!
Jaleo
Oh man, Jaleo is great. Café Atlántico, another restaurant by the same chef, didn’t really do much for me though.
1. i look forward to stanley’s posts - and comments - the mostest.
actually, i would posit this under my real pseudonym. dear stanley: i have le crush.
2. sometimes, i can’t stand fridays after five. there are many fridays when the last thing i want to do after a long week is go sweat while listening to music with gawd-awful acoustics and try - in vain! - to avoid work people/people i know that i don’t want to know and run in to.
luckily, this issue has remedied itself for the season.
1. movies are meant for entertainment, not simple-minded blunt-instrument idiot didacticism and political-wonkery. Booty Call and Friday are therefor a far better and far more humanly uplifting films than Schindler’s List or anything by fat-boy loudmouth Michael Boore.
2. there’s something perverse about restaurant staff being able to eat daily and opine about haute-cuisine and 100-dollar margaritas when though a stockbroker i can barely afford a cheese-sandwich and a can of Cambell’s soup for dinner, and maybe a PBR to wash them down.
3. academics are, as the book title goes, Dead From The Waist-Down, and also have zero sense-of-humor, ever.
isn’t otter going to get peeved about 7 and 8 and lash out in dihaeria of big words?
I prefer people who feed me rumors about the sexual subculture of Charlottesville, it helps me imagine my foes naked engaging in acts that out of context are absurdly funny.
Cheese guy at Feast should be the new standard for service industry personel, UVA please get your cloning program up and running consistently.
Preferably the number one issue on the political agenda of any party would be to eliminate the cracks of the world so I again safely or worryfree and semi inibriated could pass through the night in my seven inch heals without getting stuck.
i prefer voss over tap any day
i think they should install moving sidewalks on the mall instead of bricks and maybe a waterway in between that you have to paddle a gondola through
@6, that’s my line!
@9’s #2: Shit, say it ain’t so. I had to endure a lot of tv quoting this weekend. Gilmore Girls, Alias, some other crap I’ve never heard of. Sometimes it’s really really funny, when it’s just one line, in context. But that’s rarely how it happens. Somebody says the next line and then the next and then, arrrrrggggg, we’re just quoting things instead of talking. This is a good game for people who only have mass entertainment in common.
I dig heady hot dog stand.
I know less than you think.
I pander to the few.
i have the personality of a mayonnaise sandwich
I feel that you downtown centric navel gazer believe the rest of the area has no charm or worth.
Best regular bakery is Chandler’s- their chicken pot pies are unbelievable in the homey goodness.
Kroger is the best grocery for those with a smaller pocketbook.
McDonald’s new coffee doesn’t isn’t bad for the money. and the get it to you faster than any lame downtown caffeine clip joint.
Sam’s Club rocks for a lot of things and your upturned noses show bias not logic.
X lounge is better food joint than a bar.
The box will be opening so after the trial runs are finished.
Some people here complain about Cassis because of personal reason that have to do with getting dismissed and little else.
Many people here think I’m a beer drinking guy married but really I’m a hot 20 something nymph who thinks it’s the funniest thing ever!
stanley- someone’s using a lame psuedo on your behalf…
and marshall, are you the ops tech? and yeah, mr e. said- i’ll give you some points for the last reference. in 5…4…3…
I want to start guessing, but it’s hard. @6 mysecret seems most like parlie, of course, but is it really just someone acting like parlie? And who is doing a broad impersonation/mock of shenanigans as ShazamMyFans? hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser.
I’m trying hard to suppress my commenting style, but I feel I give myself away more and more each time.
I’m trying hard to suppress my commenting style
mantis crouches in crane’s shadow? monkey steals the peach? drunken lion style?
/that the best you can do? my style is the best! and so i challenge you! huh!
My guess, Mr. E is otterdung.
Oh and She who must not be named is Tuesday.
Wrong. And now I feel a bit weird.
25 and 2: It’s more effective to be a new person if you don’t link back to your website. d’oh!
27 is a pretty good guess and I think Dave is probably Floozy on good behavior.
you guys suck at new names.
@29 Now I feel a lot weird!
It is Tuesday but I’m not her.
@21 is not dieter
i can’t figure any of these out, except of course for Marshall #1.
1. Dave Grohl is one of the most under-appreciated musical talents of the current generation
2. The controlling interests behind NASCAR have far too much control over far too many interests outside of NASCAR. There are laws against this kind of behavior.
3. The percentage of people who hold a driver’s license and operate a motor vehicle while having absolutely no business doing so (and quite possibly not enough intelligence to do so properly) is greater than or equal to 85%, no matter where you are in the world, but especially in the Greater Charlottesville Metroplex.
I think Mr. Fif is Wingnut. geez you guys, what’s with the website links?
sorry about that…i’m lazy.
stanley- someone’s using a lame psuedo on your behalf…
Who’s doing what now?
Who wants a moustache ride?
Hey, is this like secret santa where we eventually reveal our true identities?
By the way, I love your name, ford prefect. Even if the rest of us suck, you rock my friend.
I like the idea of venetian waterways in the midcity area, how about public gondola transportation?
/Global warming hurry up
if we’re not creative at all, can we just steal somebody else’s name? because that’s what i did.
I like killing people.
When I got out of the army, I bought a house, a motorcycle, and a BMW.
My grandma calls me a big boy.
oh! this just got about ten thousand shades less fun.
Nymphomaniacs, killers, and nascar waffle warriors…
…everyone is beautiful when they are anonymous.
Je suis belle toujours.
@42: EW, we wenting out on a date and you were so lame-O. You got no BJs and that’s totally FAIL cuz I’m a red-headed SLUT! Like the drinky! Boisson if you speak French like MOI. In bed!!!
Anyhoo, let’s all go to le SS like toot-sweet, I will give BJs if you buy me beaucoup Vee-own-Yay. That’s French for yummy stuff. In my mouth. Mmmmmmm!
Oh, and bee-tee-dubs mes amis, Mr. E is obvi Ethan.
Ok, is le temps for discussion having at le SS, where will hopefully be some mens with hair-chests!
Is this over soon, it’s not funny any more
Colonel Mustard in the Library with the Candlestick!
I would’ve never let this happen….
This thread went terribly wrong. Tisk, tisk The Noid. You knew I would figure out who you were. That comment did not describe me!
I prefer Tony Kornheiser to Michael Wilbon (as my name might suggest).
I also prefer Jaleo to Mas.
Sometimes I like PBR better than Hoegaarden.
/but I do not like to be shazaam’ed. got that in the face once and couldn’t see straight for two days.
There is nothing sexier than a pregnant woman in a turtleneck sweater.
Steve Martin deserves a high five more than Bill Murray.
The accuracy of the number of flushes in 2000 Flushes is highly suspect.
49: Now, now, Tuesday. Hold out for tomorrow. I consider today’s comments a warm-up. Tomorrow I predict real villainy. I mean, like nice villainy. Yeah. It’s gonna be great.
First you all think I’m otterdung, then Ethan? Damn. I need a personality makeover. The name is a pun everybody. Get it? Oh well. 42 is scary. I can see why orchid wouldn’t date that guy.
@51: I think I know who Mr. E is and I suspect neither Ethan nor otterdung. But I’m keeping mum.
Pretty sure I’m giving myself away just by being awake. I appreciate your discretion, Stanley… oh, I mean Yelnats?
@53: PAY NO ATTENTION TO LARGE AND UNINTENTIONAL BOX SURROUNDING MY COMMENT.
/i suck at this game
//but the rest of you can do better!
I gave it away when I said “my friend” in @39. That’s when you all realized I was John McCain.
/the E stands for Elderly!
//Politics! Suck it Thor!
@55: The mystery behind Mr. E ages. It’s like The Da Vinci Code, but well-written.
It’s late, where the fuck is backup planet? AM I BACKUP PLANET? crap.
I’m awaiting moderation! Hahahaha… oh. Oh. ….oh?
alias. rambamdi. there, if you have faith, will will find.
/should have chosen yoda as my psuedo-handle.
rambaldi,not rambamdi
/some cross betweet a cute little animated deer and a divinci knock off for a tv series.
Konichiwa こんにちわ
Sorry, I have nothing to say.
Ooooh, @65 - your handle link document is “forbidden”. So sexy and intriguing. I wish I had “privileges…”
@66- And your link Ray? Similarly intriguing. When will you go on tour in those amazing hats?
Meanwhile, moderation has destroyed all numerical references in my earlier conversation with Yelnats. I trust you all can figure it out.
sorry, no otterdung on this thread–too risky.
OMG, this is like le best thread ever! Les Boulez is le hot because his nom is in French, which I speak bc I’m tres cool. Who are you? Tell moi and I’ll give you a BJ!
Yelnats is obvi parlie and mcarooni is obvi mc.
SS was le plus grand fun, merci for le vin yummy, Oy!
A plus tard, BIZnotches!
I’m not wearing any pants!
@70 - how’s about you swing by my pad? I too am pantsless. My address is 201 Dudleypail Dr. right in the heart of Charlozvail.
ShazamMyFans: I think your reading comprehender is broken. Might wanna take that into the shop. But nice work on getting #69 for extra ribaldry points.
I agree with Sta– whoops, I mean Yelnats…… Dan Brown is a sign of the decline of Western Civilization, as is that Harry Potter woman.
The difference between Star Wars and Harry Potter.
http://www.saynotocrack.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/61074_harrypotterstarwars.jpg
Harry Potter series was though perhaps first-ever novel-film portrayal of English boarding schools without significant and frequent episodes of sodomy (most Eton/Harrow novels make the prison series OZ seem like…)
@75 you seem positively forlorn about that-TISWWT
@76
an palpable in-authenticity.
gonna do it, Rowling, do it RIGHT !
@77 What’s wrong is bemoaning the lack of sodomy in a children’s book. That is below otter dung in it’s distastefulness.
@78
but above the usual run of posts in urbane commenting humor…
Children should not be reading such a ridiculously long and horribly-written book. Harry Potter is for dumb adults. Dumb adults may or may not like sodomy. If they are Republicans, they like it but don’t like gays to have it. If they are dumb they are probably Republicans but not necessarily. They might be rich and selfish.
What have we learned.
Sodomy against childern- fine
Republicans- evil
Yo Shenanigans move over on the quit couch, you have company!
I don’t think the sodomy necessarily has to be against children. It could very well be between children.
See what happens when people have fake fake names?
from my reading, not a close one, of British Boarding School novels, and watching of English films like Another Country, it is usually between adolescent 16-18 yr-old teens, and only very rarely between an adult and a student. My mention of it in reference to Harry Potter was, of course, a joke.
that said, the godawful but popular HP series has probably won a lot of american youth over to the idea of attending boarding schools, particularly British ones. i have no idea of the statistical regularity of such episodes in schools such as Eton and Harrow and the lessers, but i wonder if an occasional value-neutral mention of it in HP might prepare our youngsters headed Over There for what would no doubt be an eye-opener, whether as passive observers (accidental) or recipients of offers.
can’t speak to the prevalence of such practice amongst consenting republicans, but there is an Obama office on the Mall, no doubt liberally provisioned with data on this subject as on every other.
where the hell is GET BACK ON TOPIC when you need him????????
I understand my comments waiting for moderation when I’m switching around email and name or whatever, but my comment is not longer in moderation and never got posted.
and I totally wasn’t saying anything out of the norm. what the?
I recently read a book about Turkish orphanages. Lots of sodomy there too, among little boys.
In contrast, New England Boarding School novels each tend to have a set of red-headed twins with an unholy love for each other.
That cardboard Obama is startling when one is walking along on the Mall late at night.
Thank you for the warning about Turkish orphanages. How horrible! And if i’m orphaned someday and in Turkey, i’ll know now to go to a Motel 6 instead.
I missed that in New England Boarding School novels—recommend a few? I can only think of Catcher In The Rye, Separate Peace, and the truly-awful and very-long ones that John Irving writes.
I WAS IN THE JOHN, SORRY. WHY AREN’T YOU USING A FAKE NAME? THAT’S THE EFFING TOPIC.
hell, sorry.
i am.
Better?
The Secret History by Donna Tartt and The Lake of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman. They are almost the exact same book, but SH is much longer.
Lots of people like sodomy. If you don’t, that’s a shame, because it’s now legal. Try not to be so judgy.
Hmmm, okay, I think I see what happened. Pseudonym has many of the same sounds as sodomy. sssss, ddddd, mmmm… maybe we mumbled and you got confused. To clear up the confusion, this is a PSEUDONYM thread.
@86 Fitzgerald’s This Side of Paradise
@91 we’re not confused, just easily suggestive. suggestable. provacative. what?
Tartt (fun) and Fitzgerald (swank) are both college, not boarding-school, books though? i’ll check out the Goodman. I forgot Laura Pliscsou’s funny Harvard novel (Higher Education?), still not boarding-school.
@90
just so i can plan my weekend, which kind is legal now?
Fitzgerald is mainly at Princeton, true, but starts out at a fake boarding school in the first portion. It’s been a while since I’ve read it though.
obviously a long while since i read it, too.
The Lawrenceville Stories.
@75
can’t take it in the seat, get out of the witchin’
the very NAME Harry Potter is somewhat suggestive, and ‘Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets’.
Hogwarts sounds like something you might get from these behaviors carried to excess.
then again, though there are trolls, ogres, and banshees… i haven’t seen The Satyr appear yet.
C’mon in Shenanigans, the snark is fine!!!!
do i sense that Harry Potter is taboooooooooo on Cvillain?
are you out there pseudo-ALM? i know you chuckled @97 as did i.
no. yes. no.
My orignial 3:
1. A large part of me believes I deserve to be rich (I’m not) because I’d be so fucking good at it.
2. I’d rather someone find me funny than attractive.
3. I’d rather dig ditches than go dancing.
Per other comments:
1. I adore Harry Potter and believe my life is a little less full now that I have no sequel to anticipate (like finding out Santa isn’t real)
2. I never pick up my dog’s droppings and organize his walks around places where I can get away with this and not end up with a mess on private property.
Like someone is totally trying to copy me @100. OMG perhaps we could be besties and swap tips on how to quietly throw up a $100 meal in a restaurant bathroom with stalls and stuff.txt me bk ok?
Oh man, I like near-sighted. But if I knew you in real life, I’d be dragging you to the dance floor no matter what, like it’s the motherfucking Yule Ball.
@69 I like mc a lot; she is smart er than me and funnier than me, I’d take that as a compliment.
104: awwww, you’re a sweetie. whoever you are.
Cvillain just needs to have another party, thats all there is to that.
A party, huh? With our new names and new crushes? Intriguing. Except you’re using your old name. hmmm.
I don’t want this pseudonym thing to end, it’s like I’m just getting to know everyone all over again without prejudice.
i love harry potter - it’s a classic good vs evil with all the pseudo evil elements loved by teenagers over the ages… what’s not to love, have ya read the bloomin’ books people???
ok, ages being a relative thing… I get it
i’m prejudiced
guess who, oh, that’s a band, right?
@108 I started the first one, but it was so dreadfully written I stopped. Why waste time reading a mediocre thousand-page book? All those kids rereading the series should stop and read some thing else. There are other books out there–good books.
I just found out that bonify is a real word.
to turn to bone??? i’d like that, actually