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Why does the charlottesville music scene suck so bad?
Really, I miss Trax and Starr Hill and maybe even Sattelite a little bit.
Omg, that picture is not helping the still-drunkiness. Damn you Thor. Damn you to hell.
this was my intention.. to punish those who drink
Done deal. I hate you. You looked hot last night. Call me. But I hate you.
first, i need to run to lowes to get new kneepads
CDC is at Cassis tonight.
Great! rolls eyes
Good deals on bad drinks from that surly little bastard who thinks he’s some kind of bartending god? I can’t wait. Maybe they’ll have someone else back there too…
Yeah you do. Bee-otch.
@6: Cassis blows. You are spot on, luv.
ugh, that picture just mde my eyes invert.
Good deals on bad drinks from that surly little bastard who thinks he’s some kind of bartending god?
Actually, he won’t be there tonight. Joya is filling in for him.
does this tuff-times thing, for cost-cutting, mean a return to house-parties, cocktails parties, salons, and drinking in the foetal-position in the hall-closet with Jeff Buckley’s HALLELUJAH (spelling, sh*t) cover playing at top-volume??
@10: And I just threw up in my mouth.
@11, no silly. just go out like always and the economy will be fine. for us lowlings, anyhow.
@13
‘go out like always’
hmmmmm. haven’t been out except to X and Garage (once each) in about ten years.
high time i started then.
@12: I can’t believe you don’t like her.
Does this crisis mean THE FLIRTRESSES will have to wear
shorter skirts and lower-cut blouses and more backless dresses
and fewer foundation garments to save on fabric?
/wait a minute, that’s not possible.
@15: I wag my private parts in your general direction. I spit on you and your Cassis and your drinking club and your C-ville’s best bartender. Ptttteu.
What if she had an eye patch? Then you’d like her.
I love Joya, she’s great. That is all.
@18… If it’s Joya, will she be serving the echo?
She will be serving echo, probably over-serving echo, but I don’t know if she has the ingredients for the echo.
Looking forward to it.
I’m a fan of anyone who gives me drinks.
@23. I guess we all are.
omg, i just looked at the picture, my eyes have m-e-l-t-e-d….
s-o-o-o glad i didn’t hit that after midnight!
I miss all our live music venues, too.
@21 echos are gross!
I can only assume you are talking about me and not the drink.
@11 – Otter, I was throwing cocktail party / cookouts all summer. Where were you?
(also, I prefer red wine while lying under a chair listening to Bennie Moten. This is like a weird alcoholic version of Clue.)
@29
hell, i’m sorry. i think i had a dentist appointment.
@28 both
So, what exactly is an echo? The drink, I mean. The poster, I’m assuming, is a person.
@29 Lying under a chair? In no way an expert or known for musical taste, but I like Dexter Gordon. Despite being a cornet player for seven years, always fascinated by the sound of the tenor sax. Swear it had nothing to do with having a crush on the single tenor sax player in high school band…
tequila, blueberry vodka, & some other crap.
Flavored vodka = gay
‘gay’ is an offensive epithet apparently used in that way. we determined this through the cavalier daily opinions column in discussing the Not-Gay chant at UVA football games, where it was banned from counter-statement in the UVA song.
Sorry. I also say things are “Retarded” or “Lame” so I’m an all around offensive pig. What’s a better word to say something is cheesy/sucky?
What’s a better word to say something is cheesy/sucky?
“cheesy” and “sucky” leap to mind.
I would have expected better from Mr.Thesaurus.
#37
Offensive to milk products and to Dairy Farmers in Wisconsin and the People’s Republic of France.
The other from “You Suck” offensive to ‘queers’ and i read somewhere here ‘kneepadders’.
I heard saying “sucky” offends leeches.
And Lamprey Eels.
And The Hoover Vacuum Company and its Union Employees.
Are there no perjoratives that don’t offend someone?
I dunno, to play the devil’s advocate and not to get into a big thing here, I think calling something “gay” or “retarded” in a derogatory manner is a little bit offensive. I don’t want to argue it, and PP, you know I don’t find you offensive; I think your candor is refreshing. But, I can certainly sympathize with people taking exception to the words in that connotation. Especially homosexuals with Trisomy 21.
Interesting read about it:
http://archive.salon.com/people/feature/2000/09/14/gaygaygay/index.html
@42 I would say “wack,” as in “Flavored vodka is wack,” but then you and I might get into another kerfluffle about the White appropriation of race-based cultural ideologies and vernacular, which would once again serve as hitting the Escape key and/or “Reset” button on the entire Cvillain pseudonym structure, as well as someone buying a McQuit off the dollar menu, so I won’t.
Queer is the term preferred by academics and gay is derogatory when used by a non-gay. Rappers can say that word but you’d better not. This blog doesn’t worry about offending people in race, intellect, orientation, disability or other things. Rarely does anyone object. I don’t want to cramp anyone’s style because I don’t belong here. That’s clear. I heard this blog is funny. I should read it and not write, and keep my personal offense to myself as writers here offer their personal offensiveness to everyone else.
Wack means crazy.
I think it is “whack” as in “Yo Brother don’t you know that crack is whack?” but i could be wrong.
Wacky versus Whack.
I mean, I’m not using this as a footnote source anytime soon, but:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wack
Oh, well if the urban dictionary says it, it must be right. Flavored vodka is wack.
I think that’s a wiki, not an authoritative source.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whack
Look, I just pointed out a quick and easy link that elaborated on the context and spelling of how I have come to understand the word.
If you’d like more legit literature on the subject, well, uh, I’d be happy to find some examples and get back to ya, Katie!
Who is Katie? Please explain that.
Urban Dictiuonary is cool. It’s funny that wack and whack have the same definitions in it. Hard totranslate spoken language into lexicography.
No, it’s great. Wack is perfect. I will say that from now on instead of “gay”. Thanks man.
@53: Oh and THE CODE!
@53: Oh and THE CODE!
No code violation. He was making a reference to the recent Palin-Couric interview. And it was funny.
Again, Please explain who is Katie and what that has to do with me.
I see. I’m not that clever and did not see the interview. That’s like Oliver North saying “Let me refresh myself from my notes” whenever anyone asked him a direct question about illegal shit he did? OK !
Oh I thought 26 World had figured out that I am really Katie Couric. Damn him and his ESPN.
And I thought you all had figured out that I was really Sarah Palin. Oh well. I guess I’m going to go read all the newspapers. All of them. Every last one.
Everything’s going over my head. Must be lunchtime.
@62 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9go38MgZ4w8
wait, did we just ban saying “gay”? dammit.
I’m not ‘bending over’ for anybody: gay gay gay gay gay.
Don’t be gay, Sparky.
26, you made me laugh my ass off. funny comments!
/still reading ALL papers…..
…going off on my own little tangent here….
Just had lunch (and beer) post kickball at Boylan Heights. The food was good, not great, but the prices were enough to make me only go there when I’m not hungry. This isn’t a slam on Chad or his picking the place for the post kickball hang out. But the two for one wings special came out to $7 for 10 wings. I can’t imagine paying $7 for only 5 wings. Who pays more than $1 per wing? The burgers are $7.50 without anything else (fries, slaw, etc. Adding regular fries and a soft drink bumps it up by $4) and the wedge salad (quarter of a head of iceberg lettuce and a few toppings) for $6?
That is wack.
iceberg wedge salad is the dumbest invention ever, anyway.
THAT’S why the fucking Antarctic is rapidly disappearing… nothing to do with global warming… it’s bogus restaurant owners chipping away at the icepack to create a trendy, yet curiously unsatisfying novel dish.
What about the penguins,eh? Where are they going to go and freeze their bollocks off when it’s all gone?Well?
my feet, they’re big and REALLY, REALLY cold
/what i’m told
Where are they going to go and freeze their bollocks off when it’s all gone?Well?
Dude, the penguins have given up and adopted a new home. Her name is Rio.
@72 Ha! That made me laugh! Actually, it was more hearing the word Rio as it constantly sparks the song in my head. Wonder if they’re dancing in the sand, too….
“don’t like the red plastic igloos”??
What are they looking for, a friggin’ georgian style four bedroom?
73: Obligatory penguin dancing video.
@73 – yep, me, too. I might have to put on another song just to get that out of my head. If they’re relocating to Rio – am pretty sure they are dancing in the sand. Just wondering what style penguins dance to, and if they’re ripe for some sort of reality show dance off competition. Would they be willing to go up against, say, chickens?
/dang, now have the “chicken dance” song in my head – gaah!
my team, today, my kickball team, we won a kickball team game, in kickball.
gobbler wears cleats, which is helpful because he and i are constantly looking for reasons to make fun of each other.
Aww Kickball! I miss kickball. They don’t have that here…or baseball so no fields…just a lot of drinking…which is a kind of a sport in itself…but it’s just not the same.
@76 I think penguins would look cute doing the Cha Cha Slide… now that’s a song to get stuck in your head.
Orrr, the lindy or
the electric boogaloo…
/Boogie penguins…smooth.
electric boogaloo link repost
i vote lindy on that one, bbt. didja phone the gas station to find out their closing time?
BP, would’ve if my mind hadn’t shorted out (no pun intended) on remembering that Short Pump is near Richmond. I’m firmly entrenched in the Cville area, both work and home, so it wouldn’t make sense.
Sometimes, I’ll save my errands (groceries, neccessities, gas, etc.) for heading over the mountain to Waynesboro or Staunton, even. Gas is easily 30 cents cheaper at times, not to mention the cheaper groceries, etc.
I’d rather spend 30 minutes on the interstate (or 250) than 20-30 minutes in traffic here to head uptown.
I totally agree. If I hadn’t been doing the out-of-town-pre-homecoming-shopping-trip-because-charlottesville-ain’t got no friggin fashionably ok homecoming dresses for the nooby freshman high school student, ey, I would have never known, but was really happy to discover it, ya know? I’m with you, I live and work well inside the albemarle county limits, otherwise. Don’t see any reason to travel more than over to sam’s, and only if convenient, to save 12 cents or so off the prices on pantops.
ok, this is the ffa thread, where the heck are you people tonight – i know i passed out early last night, but i’ve had two days to rest up, are ya all snoozin early on, ya (sarah palin imitation, yo) wooses? Wake up and snark, already…
/suffering from withdrawal, ya’ll
I feel like it’s 20 years ago, and it’s like I’m at Bethany Beach, Delaware, where they roll up the sidewalks at 9 and everyone goes home. Maybe it’s time I investigated some other late night blogging/commenting sites, cause I feel like i’m tossing balloons into the air and no one is there. I love ya’ll and I’ll be back, but going out there to see what’s what…
hi backup planet!
omg – you’re just hoppin on?
i’m looking for any dave matthews concert sites I can get my hands on to stay awake, and NOW you’re commentin? hello, friend!
you better reply quick, cause I don’t know how much longer i’ll last
i;m a bit tuckered out. sundays are long. putting some buffy on to go to slep, like an old friend. (BTVS).
hey- since you mentioned checking out DMB sites, ever hear of phish?
yeah, not so much a fan – have personal connections to dmb, won’t go into details, but totally dig tunes. Am now cueing into john mayer videos. sorry to be so un-indie. just digging really good music for a reason. really need to hit the hay. tuckered out as well. night, sc.
just as a last minute toss – check out Civil Twilight – south african band – have some really good tunes, but not getting enough press/pr. GREAT music – enjoy.
@90
know about Archive.org—they have a bazillion free live shows to download of just about every twang and jam-band and neo-oldtime stuff. Takes about a week to go through the list though.
/is that a goddam monsoon on the horizon?
This has been around for a while but it still makes me smile…
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and
the banking problems in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up
and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will
likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended
after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja
Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report
that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared
that staff may get a raw deal.
Good lord it’s dead on here today. I hear crickets.
I know, it’s ridiculous. IS it Columbus Day?
It’s not like people have any work to do on Monday.
I’d almost be grateful if HM and Please would come
back and call me a cocksucker
or something similarly wry and recherche again, just to keep the threads rolling.
I was surprised to find the new version of ABSENTE (the old version was pretty undrinkable) altogether not bad. Haven’t been able to afford the SWISS stuff at the ABC store yet, but if a few more Mall-bidness-people drop pennies in my bucket, i may be able to get some later this week and report back on the real stuff.
does anyone else ever play music on the Mall (see Hard Times Thread) for a little extra beer-money?
A buddy of mine used to make about 300 bucks every Friday night (but he was talented). I haven’t been able to break about 50 bucks, but i’m probably quieter and acoustic-er and talentless.
Anyone know if you have to get a permit to play these days (like a vendor permit or something?) like in other cities, or if it’s still same-old Cville where you can just hit people up for change any-ole-time you feel like it, performing or just annoying (or in my case both).
So has everybody seen this? The labeling police are out in force.
http://www.cvillenews.com/2007/09/27/double-h-bust/
ps – for the record, that’s F’ed up.
@98 – Tink, that’s a year-old article. Is there something new on this?
@Feeding Our Hungry Indigents
How is that campaign for edible-ornamental vegetation around the City going, anyhow?
There were nice herbs in the ovoid planters on the Mall for a while, but I haven’t seen any other initiatives followed-through. The planters around Miller’s look promising for those upside-down cherry-tomato dinguses. If we lobby REALLY HARD do you think City Council would let us start a Cranberry Bog in Central Place Fountain?
@Feeding our hungry indigents
Shame nobody else is out here… i think we could really run with this:
1. the new Great-Halsey-Hotel will be blocked-off with chainlink fence for two years’ construction–what about keeping a few thousand turkeys in there?
2. the Pavilion won’t be used until late Spring–we could get a decent herd of those miniaturized dairy cows to graze there.
3. the trees on the Mall are just BEGGING to be infested with edible koalas and sloths.
4. Gravity Lounge, closing soon, would be perfect for growing Shitakes.
5. many arctic expeditions survived on blubber and meat from weddell seals and penguins–The Ice Park?
6. If the City won’t go for a cranberry bog in the Central Place fountain, maybe we could tempt them with a few tasty manatees and platypuses?
/why are we doing nothing to feed the children in these terrible times?!?!?!
TOPIC CHANGE! (Temporary, if you can indulge me…)
This may be my inherent small-town girl naivete, but do I have anything to worry about the taxi drivers in this town? Some asshole (which a lot of people do this to me) honked his horn while I was still checking my blind spots before pulling out into traffic. It was just enough, on top of everything else today, that I threw my hand out the window (that’s making me laugh) and gestured at him. Not a full-on gesture, but just a gesture of disgust. He saw me park on the side of the street where I’ll be parked the rest of the night.
I’m just so wary of people in this town. Plus, if anything would happen, it would happen to me. I’m the red-headed step child of Murphy’s Law. I just didn’t know if crazy things like that happen around here…
Vengence seeking taxi drivers and all that….
Oh, and after I gestured, he drove right up behind me while we were stuck in traffic and honked his horn again. I shook my head at him in my rearview mirror.
Naive, I know.
FYI, X Lounge just changed a lot of things on their menu for the changing fall season. There’s a lot of delicious new items, come in and try it out!
FYI, I just changed a lot of things in my pants for the changing fall season. There’s a lot of delicious new items, come in and try it out!
/hey, if we’re advertising…
fair enough
@103
i think most of the taxi-drivers are pretty good guys around here. i doubt he was doing more than ‘playing at asshole’, rather than actually being one… and seriously doubt he’d risk his license (taxis are so visible) with any sort of base reprisal for a harmless, though somewhat newyorkais, excange of horns and gestures?
good luck in any case.
@101–102
now if he’d had a nice satsfying city-provided dinner of edible koalas and cranberries, this never would have happened.
@105
food? you guys have food? where?
@106
i am still missing gender-identification here.
@108, now that I look at it, it seems I’m actually implying I changed gender. whoo-hoo!
@106, @109
kafka-esque: now that you’re looking at your comment, or now that you’re looking in your pants???
/men wear trousers, women wear pants.
@CVILLAINS
GAWD you are a dull, hyperserious lot today!!!! What the hell?
Did you all eat Joe Biden Flakes for breakfast, or are all hungover from huffing sheep-dip at the Fall Fibre Festival? Seems like Pink is the only one with a jot or tittle of wit about her today. How I’ve sown my seed on infertile ground today, spent my snark and provocations on and for nothing!!!
/keeping fingers crossed that Flozy and Backup Planet ring-in late with some wacky funsterisms.
yep, I’m completely bereft of humor.
oooh, skidding in just in time – that’s as good a welcome as I am ever like to receive – I’ll take it!
@102 4. – Gravity Lounge is closing soon???? Where the heck have I been? Oh, year, behind the wheel of a frigging car all dang weekend…
Speaking of which, tonight I bopped on down Pantops to head up 20 N, only to find myself behind some troll who must have decided I was “following too closely” as they drove at least 3 miles below the speed limit – freakin’ 45mph, who the heck goes 45mpg other than in the tight turns – meanwhile, the even slower trogolodite I passed on 250 (legally, within the 45 mph speed limit, with plenty signal and plenty room – I’m bloomin’ paranoid about following distance) decided to ride my butt/bumper nearly all the way to Proffit with their brights on. Hadda turn all my rear view mirrors to the ground to keep from being blinded. This is no way to “share the road” people!!!
/did someone paint a target on my car when I wasn’t lookin???
//I’m just bereft
@112
no, goosey, you’re awesome–it’d had just been a deathly serious-n-slow day for cvillains.
@113
20N is an odd mix—farm vehicles and brand-new BMWs. crapshoot who you’re before/behind.
Is this gonna be another day where nobody other than Pink has a sense of humor?
Did parlie sober-up yet?
Where the hell is everyone. I feel like we’re alone in a chat room. Next thing I know it’ll be all:
pinkpanther: hi
c u soon q-t. laff
otterdung: wat r u wearing
pinkpanther: lol my pink victorias secret thong
otterdung: omg that sounds hawttt lol
pinkpanther: my moms not home either
otterdung: mebbe i can come over an c u? ive got peach schnapps and we can watch dude wheres my car
pinkpanther: lol mebbe.
otterdung: ill rub your back
pinkpanther: kewl. heres my addy 15643 elliott
otterdung: kewl i drive a red mustang
pinkpanther: oh thats hawttt
otterdung: im cummin now. c u soon! lol
CALLING ALL LURKERS.
comment something will you, something with a bit of wit and fire?
regulars are lame lame lame today, apart Pink Panther who is always REDHOT.
here:
…UVA sucks
…Grad students suck
…Your favorite bar/band sucks
…Recycle nothing–the world is made for us to use up and throw away
…Eat more small furry animals
…Male bicyclists wear gay spandex and shave their legs for the WRONG reasons
…Female bicyclists in this town seem to have indecently large bottoms and should probably take the bus.
…XBOX is homoerotic
…CvilleNews.com serves old ponytailed socialist wankers in RollingStones tshirts wanting Cville to be Brooklyn
@116
that’s Hiiiiiiiiiiii-larious, Pink. I was doing the same thing while you were doing that.
Like, WOW. But yours is better.
[that thing about your thong true? I’ll be right over, and f*ck the internetz.)
@117 we’re all having a such a good time watching the otter & panther show, we forgot we could comment.
and where the fuck is uva lagrape?
in the wild a panther would eat a otter but not its dung. But a Pink Panther would a genetic mutation so could not be in the wild. If held it captivity that panther might very well suffer from coprophagy.
Hmm, that was not a sexy as it could have been.
She’s off eating carpet as usual parlie.
I was doing the same thing while you were doing that.
ahhh, sums up my entire FLE experience.
@121: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
/you eat shit for breakfast?
@121
That was deliberately provoking of commentary by spellchecker and grammarian Stanley—good work Englebert.
again @121
but of course, panthers don’t swim. and otterdung sinks. so no matter the alleged copraphilia of panthers, pink or otherwise, i think both otter and his scat (’spraints’, i’ve been told) are safe from degustation. now, the detente of the “watering-hole” (a joke there, if anyone wants to run with it) could allow for other panther-otter activities, see pink-thong above.
@122: I heard she was @ the Box
@123: FLE? Fun Licking Eels?
@123, i assume a joke but admit acronymic ignorance of FLE.
would that be like saying: ‘like during our late-nite phone calls’?
@126, Family Life Education. The classes where afterwards you gleefully ran around the halls waving the color diagrams of no-no places around as if you just got banged by the party train and were proud of it.
@126… waiting for it to open, like a giant picture of the Virgin of Guadeloupe.
@126, 128 – what, did I get the redneck version? What in tarnation were your sex ed classes called?
@129, stop that, you guys should’ve never said she looked like a vagina, cause now I’m starting to wonder why I have like twentillion candles of her and three pictures on the wall if I’m not even Catholic OR Latino.
Kindergarten.
@125 panthers do indeed swim and otters will walk on land.
@124 is that a threat or a enticement ?
@123 FLE = Firefly Lantern Extract (used in medical research)
@125 proof of aquatic prowess:
http://ringtones.mobilefun.co.uk/preview/colour-gifs/130×98/38504.gif
Hahaha, it was called Health or Sex ed or something.
@131: You worship VAGINA. It’s ok. It’s where you came from.
@133
you’d think then panthers would eat cuddly filling manatees instead of low-calorie otters.
were i to specify SEA-otter, there’d be nary a panther in sight. Otters will waddle humourously on land, but their webbed feet make it uncomfortable and imprudent. they rarely climb trees, where panthers snack on cuddly koalas and sloths no doubt by proximate convenince and preference. also, otter food-sources are all or mostly marine/aquatic?
@134
is awesome!!!!!
Cvillain regains wit !
If the pink panther became a Florida panther, otter would be on the menu
http://books.google.com/books?id=uYMejaOD7vkC&pg=PA215&lpg=PA215&dq=panther+eat+otters&source=web&ots=ZJI1Sbf4fw&sig=wEvRnCNFcb5Oxy9ozdKvO0_7I58&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=9&ct=result
no place to run, dammit.
i have never been so impressed (other than by this pink-thong PP mentions) as by your Google Search terms:
“panther eat otter”
@138, you’re about as obsessed with otter and PP as I am with Guadalupe.
@140 I’m bored at work. Do you want to go around in circles?
@139 in google search- less is always more
Engle, I’m taking away your Google privileges for 30 minutes.
absolutely, but “panther eat otter” has a sortof haiku poetic beauty about it.
[we keep talking about this PP pink thong, we can negotiate the reverse]
OK you can can have them from 3:30 to 4 am- I’m not using them then
@144 I don’t think she wants you to wear her thong.
Who’s wearing underwear? My Virgin of Guadeloupe needs to breathe.
Dear Dr Phil,
I’m having really violent thoughts involving Otter, e-DuctTape® and just a teeny tiny breathing hole that I can cover with my index finger. If I repress these urges, will it affect me in years to come,for example could it cause premature menopause or a really itchy flaky scalp?
Yours Most Sincerely,
Flooze
@148
Dear Floozy,
Write a couple dang comments now and again and i won’t have to blather-on so.
Love and web-footed snuggles,
otterdung
Floozy,
you must not bottle up these urges. It will only lead to a pressure release that will be misused on your loved ones. They are not the cause. ACT now, before it’s too late.
Love, Dr. Phil
Dear Floozy,
Repressing urges such as these has been known to lead to much worse symptoms, such as spontaneous combustion or finding sexual interest in cars. Contrary to popular belief, indulging in your violent actions will turn a benefit. Examples include an increased sense of well-being, a boost in popularity, unlimited access to vending machines, and strong, healthy nails. In some cases, you may also find you achieve enlightenment – that, or find a twenty on the ground. Same difference.
Buried my noisy neighbor in my new garage’s concrete last week,
Dr. Phil
@147 My Virgin of Guadeloupe
oxymoron?
oxy for mons, i think she said.
Touché!
been trying to for quite some time.
really you two, get a chat room.
really you two, get a chat room.
really you two, get a room.
Sorry, what was that? I didn’t catch that…
really you two, get an original idea.
just being funny, not intended as mean!!!
Emord and ddg are so in sync, I think they should get a room.
ha! or maybe they should get a chat room.
seriously, folks… 90% of the day passed w/o a word from anyone on here.
it was all Pink and I could do to keep Spicy Bear’s hit-counter spinning.
@163
Keep in mind that we have to keep hits/posts on the site high
so Kyle can leverage site-visits to get a pirate’s ransom
for the sale of this thing to HM, keep it going strong and fun
[even after HM blocks me from posting].
STAND RIGHT, WALK LEFT
STAND RIGHT, WALK LEFT
STAND RIGHT, WALK LEFT
is it really so fucking difficult?
@165: I think you mean “Stand right and block the left side with your suitcase so no one can pass.”
or, stand right and lean on the left side. or stand right and have your buddy stand left. or, stand left and glare at me while I fly by on the right cause the right’s clearly for standing only.
i’m thinking that you pass on the left, no?
tip-toeing down stairs, tucking in tuckered out villains, planting kisses on sleepy heads
/it’s my life, and I love it
i am so f-in tired of ginving a rats ass,. the rhing is, that is where the beauty exists, but it lies in c-ville. i love this ti=own, the wierdm the smarm, but i’ve come home in tears too many times.
it’s exotic, with ripe potential, but. at the end of the day. i am thinking there light be something better suited.
/ESpecially if mccain wins- he hurts my eyes and ears.
And Scoriole wins the drunken posting award, for the most outstanding example of what it is like to try and type wearing boxing gloves whilst shitfaced drunk at 3am. A whimsical selection of poetic angst,peppered with some truly magnificent typos all finished off with some contentious politics. Fantastic… a true classic.
Scoriole my girl, you are in a league of your own.LMAO.
hear hear!
/raises coffee cup in salute to scoriole
@170: It ain’t easy being a Pisces.
@170 It’s concise and insightful. A beautiful stream of consciousness. Its cryptic simplicity reminds me of being called home one night in college by my roommate, only to find, delicately written on a torn half-sheet of paper towel, a note that says “THINGS ARE NOT GOOD!!! – Bxxxxxx”. After finding the apartment empty and dark, another slurred phone call that swears she’s in the apartment, I find her passed out in the driver’s seat of her car in front of the building…
Cheers, scoriole, you’ve made me laugh for the first time today.
/not at your expense, but at the absurdity of it all….
//by all, I mean not your post, but life.
Not relating to anything on this post, especially not to BBT, but
SWEET JEEEBUS YOU-ALL ARE DULLARDS TODAY.
/someone get pissed off or be funny wouldja?
It’s like listening to learning-disabled stuttering sloths talking about the weather.
Hey Pinky P, have you played any air bass guitar lately? I heard all the cool kids are doing it.
I’ll just leave this here.
mornin’!
ah, well. ya’ll make me blush (or maybe that’s just me).
i knew i’d posted just one bit that summed up Very Important Things last night. thanks for being here-
have a great weekend! i am outta here until next week;) .
@177: No, but I heard you do. Let’s include eveyone else in on the joke shall we? echo and I went to Ventana and we’re drinking (no way!) and I look over and he’s got one arm on the bar, palm facing up, and one hand between his spread legs. And his fingers are wiggling. I’m like, What are you doing? Playing the air bass? So if you see echo, play some air guitar for him.
Has anyone seen that sketch…don’t remember who the comic is, maybe Dane Cook or Dave Attell or Jim Gaffigan…and he’s talking about how to play air guitar. And to play air bass, you put one hand up and with the other you “strum your balls” and he walks around the stage going, “Strummin my balls, strumming my balls” and it looks EXACTLY like he’s playing bass.
Apologies to any real guitarists I just offended with this insipid anecdote.
“It’s like listening to learning-disabled stuttering sloths talking about the weather.”
correction:
“It’s like listening to learning-disabled stuttering sloths talking about testes.”
/apologies to Pink/Echo I just offended with this amendation.
@174 That’s quotidian for me, people not relating. I chalk it up to having spent most of my childhood and teenage years stuck in my own head and books.
Besides, as long as I can still relate to myself, that’s all I can ask for.
/Don’t worry, I’m in therapy for it all. I’m normal…but in strange ways.
Dear scoriole, have a great week, we can’t wait to hear from you again!
I was out last night and some dude comes up to me and says, “You’re shenanigans, right?” and I faked innocence, wide-eyed for a moment but he insisted. Finally, I admitted, “Yeah, I was. But it became too much.” I told him how I became a whipping boy and constant target and that I got sick of it. He said, “That’s too bad, you were such a bad ass on there. You were the queen bee!”
Well, I never wanted to be the queen bee. But I am pretty badass. It would be nice to just be able to be myself without having people attack me just for the sake of it or harp on me for past mistakes. I don’t pick on lurkers and I’m not a bully, I don’t seek attention and I don’t try to dominate the site. I just love the site and what it does for discourse and community.
Simply put, something about the site rings my bell and I want to participate without being skewered by people who hold grudges or don’t get my humor.
The people out there, they like me. They tell me whenever I’m out. So hi again.
P.S. The Shazammyfans parody was fucking hilarious and I loved it. Kisses for you and your precise wit.
But I am pretty badass.
And there you go again acting like you’re the greatest thing that ever happened to the internetz.
You know I am. Keep it up echo-bo-becho and I’ll shoot you with the soda gun next time you come to X. Don’t wear a white shirt, we don’t wanna see your huge brown nipples.
I guess you want otterdung back now? Damn.
otterdung can’t hold his own with either of you two fabulous honeys, alas,
and is soon to be adrift on the wine-dark sea. Others please see my assistant for applications.
Glad to see you two are finally getting along, though.
You have more in common than not… like my
/rari nantes in gurgite vasto
If the bitch is back, I’m leaving. This blog ain’t big enough for the both of us.
And I was so hoping for a cat fight
@188: Tantaene animis coelestibus irae?
Tros, Tyriusve mihi nullo discrimine agetur
Uno avulso non deficit alter
either works in this case
pugnare, fornicare, aut mori beeeeeyotches.
hey i dont know if we’ll get the weekend preview today .. i need to deal with some personal stuff. i’m really sorry
anything we can do to help, Thor? (seriously)
Alright otterdung, it’s all up to you. You need to write the Weekend Preview. Thor is depending on you.
Thor, hope everything’s alright.
@195: Did Loki steal your hammer again?
echo, Thor just found out he has genital herpes. This is no time for jokes. Loan him some of your Valtrex® wouldya?
@195
Weekend Preview
1. Drink absinthe and nibble on artichokes.
2. Fall asleep in hammock dreaming of Shenanigans.
3. Awaken to court subpoena from HM.
But I need it. I just had an outbreak.
I’ll do a preview. Gimme 15 minutes Spunky Bears.
anything shaking at The Garage tonite?
SHENNNN! (read it like the bar where everyone know your name – cause apparently they do – shouts “Norm!” in unison). Missed you much. Glad you’re mcreturned. And no, I haven’t turned to the lightside.
Ok, I just sent you the worst Weekend preview ever Thor. Enjoy.
@204: Howdy mama. You’re on here early.
Vanillavy is going to take your preview and steal all the cool parts, rewrite it and claim it as their own.
It’s almost 5. I don’t think they’re gonna post it. Frowny face.
Oh they’ll post something. How else are people going to know what to do this weekend. If we don’t get a preview, I’m going to have to get drunk all weekend.
not seeing how that’s any different?
Vanillavy is going to take your preview and steal all the cool parts, rewrite it and claim it as his own.
If he did that, and tainted his reputation forever, I would be honor bound to turn him in to the blog police.
tickticktickticktickticktick…
@209: Oh it’d be different, but neither of our sober minds can comprehend the difference. I’ll tell you when we’re both drunk.
That’s it. I’m going to go e-hang myself. Goodbye cruel internet world.
Oh, ok, I’ll go get started – race ya!
Woo-hoo, it’s Friday!
ok, villains, was going to post in order to get some needed advice. Can’t figure out how to do this, so this is my second best option – anyone out there ever dealt with “difficult” teenagers? I’m in a spot.
And please, rise up above the lurking phase? I’ve had enough of that from my own teen.
I was a difficult teenager. Do you care to be a bit more specific (understanding your need for privacy, etc.)?
sorry for being away.. you know.. girl problems…
Dear Stanley, email me. (your need for privacy crossed with mine…)
Thor – girl problems, please don’t explain further. I really don’t want to know. Just accept my sympathies.
St, thanks for responding without snarkiness, while I appreciate it, is not really helpful right now.
@220: I just meant that I was sort of a punk to my parents. Later, I straightened up and flew right , as my folks prescribed. My brother needed a bit of a hands-on approach; I needed to be left to do my thing. Each kid is a snowflake or something.
@219: i’m at stanley@spicybear.com
gotcha, emailing asap
Gunshots; Bolling, between 6th and Avon. And a shit-ton of ‘em.
I never meant to hurt you Thor. It’s not you, it’s me.
shenanigans, did you break his heart?
I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but oh no, he kept coming by in his chariot.
Some guys never learn. You could always get a restraining order.
shen, don’t lie, you are still tied up in my castle
If she’s tied up in your castle, you could at least let her have her computer back.
@230: I escaped. The Celine Dion shrine you have set up in your bedroom was freaking me out.
PSSST. Here it iz.
Yeah, this FFA is SOOOOOOOOO THROUGH.
Um, Me and 2 oh 4 dressed as Vikings tonight at CLAW behind Blue Moon. She’ll be armwrestling and I’ll be waving around a bucket for you to stuff your money into.
Vikings wear fur and leather and animal horns, sweetie.
/beyond the pail
I am anticipating multiple wardrobe malfunctions, both out viking outfits are helt together with string and safetypens
safety pins af course,
@236: Everything I wear is Faux baby.
ha! faux-viste.
are you not concerned about offending persons of Nordic ancestry with this mockery?
/vikings have feelings too.
/did we know Two-Oh-Four had breasts? I missed that gender-outing.
@240 As a Nordic representative I encouraged (Shen my wren) and encourage vikingification, I will celebrate all horns and fur, faux or not. Please come dressed in period clothes, anything from 700 ac through the renaissance is acceptable for this purpose.
/otterdung missed a lot of various adverts on cvillain clearly showing breastage on 2o4
my sincere apologies then!!!!
wait, tall and blonde (ie nordic-viking) with (by virtue of pictorial use by cvillain) ample breasts?
how did i miss this? do you have nice summery shoes?
or were you the married gawking blonde at X, easily 7-foot 4-inches?
/i think the bloody vikings invaded ireland at one point,
/and tried to make us eat fucking fermented herring.
They settled peacefully according to recent genetic studies of the isles, and that would be pickled herring, not fermented. No to questions one and two as well.
pickled or creamed, yes. fermented is what the vikings ate:
“Surströmming (“soured herring”) is a northern delicacy consisting of fermented Baltic herring .”
and:
“In 795 the first Vikings landed on the Irish shores attacking the Irish monastery in Rathlin Island located near County Antrim. Attacks on Ireland remained very few over the next 30 – 40 years with attacks taking place approximately once a year. It is known the Irish resisted these attacks and in 811 the Ulaidh slaughtered the Vikings attempting to raid Ulster.”
i couldn’t find confirmation of pudgy vikings in horned helmets force-feeding herring to peaceful irish monks.
Otter, don’t argue with the Viking. She will cream you and eat you like a little herring.
i was trying to WOW her with my encyclopoedic knowledge of her Barbaric Peoples’ history and customs/cuisine (through hasty google-usage).
/ratatatosk!
i was trying to WOW her with my
encyclopoedic knowledgeGoogle skillzFTFY
it’s hard work going through those hits to find just the right article that skews
the truth exactly toward my perverse imaginings of the facts.
Search Argument: Viking Breasts Herring Irish Cream
then again the french created blood-sausage and seek ‘fecal aromas’ in their best cheeses. and they made Amelie, which creates a worse taste in my mouth than either.
Vikings are cool. 13th Warrior is one of the best films ever made. And seeing it in a theater is like watching a girls-gone-wild video, since all the chicks are hooting at the hot vikings with their shaggy-long haircuts like HM.
Anyone else wonder why the Cville Weekly blatantly sucks-off
the Virginia Quarterly Review in every goddam issue?
Anyone have the inside scoop on this?
Someone staff-to-staff married to someone or fucking someone?
Star fukkers. The VQR has become one of the most popular & awarded lit rags in the USA. The reason? Because now it is topical and slick. Cville’s attention could also be due to Waldo J. working at VQR. I remember when 20s Lawyer Dude was mentioned in almost every issue of Cville, ten years agog’. Hell it had a Dave Matthews Band column! (or was that the Hook?) Natalie Fairfax’s summer stint as a cartoonist was surprisingly interesting, on the other hand.
Flooze!
C…. why are you not at Claw?
two year old duty…
/how could otter not know 2o4 had breastisis?!
why are you not at claw flooze?
I have been involuntarily de-clawed…
…not that anyone cares where I am or why.
i care….speak up b’yo!
I am not at Claw because I have to be up and sprightly at 6.30am… it’s a BIG week for me…..
6:30 for me too.
/good luck!
@251
that makes sense. i haven’t seen the mag in years and years—since it was basically people writing free verse about their cats—but had noticed all the jock-sniffing Cville (and not Hook–which made me wonder, doubly) was doing of it this last year or so. Didn’t know they’d snagged Waldo–good for him.
@254
caroline, you might have SAID something to me about 2o4’s perky yet ample bosoms.
i was kept completely in the dark about this matter, and diverted from it… ummmm… variously.
/luck to shen and 2o4 at CLAW—go vikings!
i care….speak up b’yo
Truly, I appreciate your concern, but new rules of reengagement dictate that I post no personal shit on this blog ever again… lest it be used against me. Strictly smarm, ancient history, one liners and stupidity. Strictly.
Besides, otter would just mock me again. He owns these boards now. Me? Afterthought.
thank you, byo – didn’t know quite how to respond to all the ugly responses here over the last 24 hours. Completely understand what you mean. OD actually seems to be the one who owns the boards. Do appreciate his input. Would love to meet him in person – ya hear me, OD? SO doesn’t pay to open up, right? Lesson learned.
/Knuckles wrapped and neosporin applied. Still wondering what I did to incite… Maybe dumb late night ramblings all alone in the “room”… didn’t get full rule list…
Owns the boards. Seriously, WTF does that even mean. If I post here 1 million times in inane banter and talk to myself do I get to own the boards because I would so win. I want a teeny tiny sock puppet as a prize. Invisible of course.
Vikings? What about the Saami? Granted, we’re not as fierce as the Vikings. Gentle, nomadic, reindeer herders…but still.
/Jesus Mary and Joseph. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Especially when you’re alone. With a bottle of rum. All of a sudden I feel like putting on a gold helmet of horns of some quadrapedal, shaggy haired animal and pillaging the neighbors.
@261
BYo—are you insane? I have only lavished affection upon you. Recollect that i even offered to come bang nails and sling paint on your renovation, and to split my bottle of hard-won Maker’s Mark with you in your hours of darkness (from which i, too, ceaselessly and god-hated suffer).
@216, @262
as to owning the boards—don’t be daft, you two.
i am a mere fly here, a gnat, a flea. every aggressive or substantive post i make (always with the idea of gently swaying the community, or improving it, though my tools are blunt [my tool is not] and my swinging of them occasionally hits sensitive toes-es) i get six folks trodding mercilessly on the CODE against me, sending me scuttling like ragged claws back to nice-nice and quietude, submission, docility.
@262
Oh, BP—of course would be delighted to meet you in person. You know me probably already—everyone seems to know me in person already… and dislike me already… everyone seems to dislike me in person already. that said, happy to share the meat-world with you at your pleasure/leisure.
Click here if your kitties’ litterbox is stinking up your home.
Or put in a cat door and let the little bitches go outside.
I just heard there’s a video called 2 Guys 1 Horse. Shudder.
Anyone else get free Elton John tickets in the mail? Yep. Entered some contest apparently and “didn’t win the grand prize” but Music Today sent me 2 tickets in the last row possible. I should be saying…does anyone want two free tickets in the last row possible? I would make it through Goodbye Norma Jean for 3 seconds. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. Saturday Nights all right for fighting my urge to not go to this concert. He should have stayed on the farm and listened to his old man.
Shit. Now I have the Lion King soundtrack running around in my head.
wow, first new comment of the turn of the clock to the new day. I’m honored, without witnesses.
If there is anyone out there in the vast wilderness of our lovely full moonlit evening willing to share the moonlight, I’m willing. If not, I shall tuck in your covers and leave quietly, no blathering left behind.
and I fail, and bow down, to OD’s copious commenting on another post before I could get there. Didn’t know you were thinking FAR, FAR more completely than I. Good one, otter.
@271
Talieisin (christ, i haven’t typed that name since grad-school), are you sure it isn’t some sort of pyramid-marketing scheme scam–MusicToday seems pretty shady. Isn’t SIR Elton John already dead or gay or British or something? It seems wildly implausible that he’d be playing Cville–we have shit like WWF and Monster Trucks and Bruce Springsteen here.
@272
I bear glad witness, but am signing off–sorry, BP. I’ll walk out and stare at the moon for you first, though–for at least a long meditative cocktail and cigarette. Goodnight, honeybunch.
@273
thank you, of course, buti’ll get shit for it tomorrow, obviously, for its length and tone and whatever else. i rather suspect the only people left to be amused by such tirades are our new pals and posters from Fairfax (FallsChurch, whatevuh).
this website is a friggin’ snake-pit these days.
274….architect or Druid? I’m guessing Coran Capshaw is running a Nigerian scheme. My mom is embroiled w/ one at the moment w/ some guy named “Victor” who wants to buy her 200 dollar waterbed but he has to get his public relations expert to send her the check first. I don’t know WTF w/ it, but I’m guessing a) this Elton character is involved b) clearly a Brit and Gay c) when did we let that type in here. I’m going to picket. I don’t know where or why but we don’t do enough picketing anymore.
I’ll let the pseudo waxing at the moon commence. I have to go back and read some more Browning.
@274 – i’m not long for the arms of orpheus, myself. enjoy the moonlight, my friend. and the smoke.
@276 – have ya seen the friggin moon tonight? are you that jaded that you can’t take some reflective moment to revell? I know you’re just baiting, but “that type”? really? I’ve swallowed my foot by accident a couple of times on this blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever reached your “bar”. Yes, Tal, read more Browning…and then read some more.
@ 270 if that’s what i think it is, where the guy supposedly dies afterwards, then that’s got to be the stupidest idea anyone’s had in a long time. i’ve seen horses breed, and the potential for injury to horses and handlers alike is not small. (i’m not even talking about genitalia here – if things don’t go well, flailing hooves can hit you hard enough to cause some major damage)
iiiii hope it’s not real, but i’m sure as hell not brave enough to find out. i drew the line at lemonparty…
276….my bar? Baiting? My dear friend. You do not have a clue. It’s called humor. Fucking insult me w/ your bullshit and not a minute of struggle in this world and try to explain ROMANCE to the epic romantic. You are full of it. Don’t you ever fucking try to insinuate you know anything about anyone. Least of all me. Friend.
I hasten to think I know more about the romance of the moon than you will ever. I’ll try to get on the ponies more. With the ribbons.
Glasses clinking? Farmington crystal shattering? I despise elitists. Muffy and Buffy are doing just fabulous. WE DON’T CARE. Don’t tell me about fucking Browning. I’ve got a gd PHd in it. I’m tired of your rambling crap and I’m from Boston so I can say it. Enough already. You are boring. Dull. Go away.
Sorry against The Code. I don’t care…going back to Cali..Cali..Cali.
Dear Taliesin, woah. where the heck do you get off insinuating that I am remotely elitist? i don’t know who you think “we” are, but “muffy and buffy” are not me. You mentioned browning, I am familiar with browning, through the public school system, but am first to say that I’m not so “elitist” that I could possibly be construed as an expert on browning, who has the fucking time… or maybe you have/did. I’m so glad that you had the time/money to “achieve” your Phd. Congrats. I did not. You don’t like my “rambling” crap, and you’re from Boston (like that means anything here)? You know what, go back to fucking Boston. I’m sure they appreciate your shit a heck of lot more than anyone here might. Yeah, baby, go home.
@283 – please do, sir. The code exists for a reason – simple courtesy. Maybe the yanks don’t understand that concept.
Not that he preached to them or said or did anything in particular, but a virtue went out of him, sugaring the sour ones.
ok, i will allow that whatever you said has any deep meaning, i didn’t get it, but again, only know browning through the public school system, so, yeah. What? To be specific, who is “he”, and what the heck is sugaring the sour ones….. OK, I rise to the challenge/education… what am I missing here?
in the meantime, the moon, friend, the moon – go outside!
taliesin – the moon! Ya, you know you love it.
and, damnation, I’m alone again. I just want to say to all those oh-so-intellegent and snarky singles with no kids out there young folk, commenting late into the wee hours is damn hard. Yes, I’m fueled, but when you’re as old as I am, i hope you have something else to live for, cause this ain’t easy folks…OD, I know you left early, but I miss you nonetheless.
i woulda got your back, BP, but i was on the phone…
/just sayin’ g’nite!
OMFG LMAO…Shen…care to comment on 274? It’s too early for popcorn, but I’ll snuggle down here on the cVillain couch and nibble on this old poptart that I found stuck down the back of the cushions….waiting….
/Taliesin…. you are awesome darlin’….just utterly fucking awesome.
hope you slept well. Nice vocab so early in the day.
Easy, friends… i think everyone was joking around there… my fault BP for staring it.
Sorry i rang out before i could pour oil on the water. The little foxes. ‘Only God and Browning know what Browning was talking about’ (provenance on that one? Auden?). Delighted people still study verse; do you know me, T?
/Was a breathtaking moon and wish i’d been on the X patio to watch it, instead of in my rural compound.
/Someone told me that the So.Station Combat Zone is now all pretty and safe and full of muffin-shops?
@292: I’m going to take the Code, wrap it around a huge spiked dildo and shove it up your ARSE if you don’t quit it.
@290: Sorry you had to bear the brunt of Mom’s anger. She’s a good-looking woman, genuine and affable, ‘cept when she hits the sauce. It makes her bitter and mean. Try not to take her remarks personally; they are pretty brilliant in their acerbity.
why, thank you, shen. i really missed you while you were away.
I just realized I have the Lion King song in my head now and it’s all Taliesin’s fault.
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc
@297: Thanks! Stop taking their shit. Tell Flooze she’s a cunt. Tell Taliesin to shove Browning up her ass. Do it.
@299: Fucckkkkk youuuu!!
My, you cvillains are a classy lot.
But of course, you douchenozzle.
You cut me to the quick dear lady, with your trucker’s mouth and extensive palate of urbane zingers.
I can only hope you are not the finest example of southern spinster this blog has to offer.
Trucker’s mouth? Oh no. I totally Listerine it up after leaving the Truck Stop parking lot.
Psst, Flooze, he’s asking for a fine Southern spinster! Where are you?
If you are a married woman, I apologize. It’s just from what I had read here that seemed so unlikely.
It’s none of your beeswax. But I’m definitely not a southern spinster and don’t know any. Your perceptions of what our city’s womenfolk must be like are hackneyed. But no matter, welcome to the Dome. We’ve got some Andy Capp© Hot Fries and Country Club malt liquor on the table by the door.
@301
proverbs 31:10 et seq., but better do KJV.
whatcha got in FallsChurch?—i assume the ‘Church’ part is amphibole.
what?what?….oh sorry Shen… I was round the back of the Kmart dumpster giving your ex BF his first ever BJ…. never seen a grown man cry like that before… touching, very touching.
Yeah, he’s sweet and deserved it. I never wanted to get the Herp though. I bet you could run into K-Mart and grab some Valtrex and Abreva before you head back to the office.
@ Manchen just read #306 hahaha… so am I married or sitting on a dusty shelf, passed over yet agin with just my shrivelled ovaries for company?
@310: Before mc and Tuffy freak out, let me clarify that the Herpes-ridden BJ ex Floozy and I are referring to is a fictional character and has no connection with real ex bf’s that are your friend.
true… it was my first fictional BJ and I thought it went reasonably well, all things considered.