Apparently we can find out exactly what kind of person we are just by looking at the bar tab for the evening. Screw the pills, the answer is in your drinks. RegretfulMorning.com ran this bar tab analysis post and they covered some important genres of bar crawlers, but what about the other people? I made a list of some typical tabs we might find around cville on a Saturday night:
South St. -25 to 30 something locals attended by one of their girlfriends…this could be described as a third wheel scenario
2 JP Ales
2 Satan’s Pony
1 Level Tonic
Mas -UVa undergrads trying to impress a girl for the night, but can only afford one bottle of decent red wine
1 Muga Rioja Reserva ‘02
Zo.Ca.Lo -Darden crowd taking a break from Saturday night group project/study sessions
3 Sol
2 Stella Artois
2 Corsendonk Abbey Brown
Zo.Ca.Lo (2) -SNL bunch hitting the town with their “awesome” for cville salaries. One of them will be up till 5AM…
3 Mojitos
2 Caipirinhas
2 Tanqueray and Tonic
1 Red Bull Vodka
Blue Light -Classy rednecks that can’t stand seedy townie bars outside the main drag
12 Miller Lite
X-Lounge -Yuppy local start-up kids spending money before they make money
2 Veuve Clicquot
6 Mojito
6 Petron Silver Shot
What other personalities have you seen?
[pic from mrmatt on Flickr]
Popularity: 16% [?]
Tagged as: , bar, Blue Light, drinking, mas tapas, south street brewery, tab, X Lounge, ZO.CA.LO
C&O Cville locals who don’t want any tourist riff-raff and want it quiet when the enjoy their organ meats
2 single malts
2 top self gin martinis
1 Bottle Corton Charlemagne
Three those-were-the-good-old-days Fellini’s and Miller’s 40-something boho actors and writers:
….7 double Maker’s Mark
….6 gin and tonics
….8 pints of Bass
One Cvillain-frequent-posting dick, alone in booth:
….5 to 7 gin triple-shots in pint-glass with club soda
….1 coca-cola
….75% tip to hot waitress (FAIL)
Current/former restaurant people with good bartender contacts, who only drink champagne and Patron shots:
2 Bud Lights
Parlie on a typical Friday night when he’s trying to get laid:
10 Bud Lights
1 Stoli Raz and Soda
1 Pack of Parliments
Karl Lancaster:
3 buckets of Budweiser
23 shots of Jaegermeister
No tip, cause he left his card.
Hottie wife out with her husband at South Street:
4 draft beers
(nothing else as the Dardenite suckers bought her all her drinks for a little eyelash batting)
Umm, more like:
South Street: Townies long since graduated that think it’s their version of “Cheers”- tab is a bunch of draft beers and a couple of glasses of wine drank by skinny bitch who doesn’t like beer because it’s too filling but wants to hang out with “the boys”
Zo-ca-lo: Anyone who still thinks it’s still cool to drink mojitos or wants to be seen on the Patio- tab is a bunch of faux-exotic specialty cocktails
C&O: BA-educated Townie professionals/restaurant staff who think they’re cooler than the people at South Street- tab is some pretentious scotch or gin and pints of Guiness, a few glasses of wine for the downtown waitresses and snooty french speakers that take refuge there
X Lounge: People who know the owner/manager/bartender and wanna sip their Crown/Coke in peace, or non- college degree townies who heard there will be hot chicks but stand around drinking their PBRs non-ironically or Stella drafts and realizing it’s a sausage fest
@5
hahahahahahaha!!!! especially C&O.
i don’t understand the game:
-4 longhammer IPA
-1 shot patron
-blah-blah-blogging about something until fucking midnight
-goddamnit i am tired today
i don’t understand the game.
@8
1 knife-fight at friendship-court in which unflinching Irish pugnacity guarantees triumph
1 furtive slipping-away through the shadows
“Fancy gloves wears ole McHeath dear, so there’s neeeeever a spot of reeeedddd!”
The people at C&O are cooler than South Street just based on the menu alone.(and the lack of grad students)
While I like South Street, the food there is just OK.
Who is Karl Lancaster?
People who hang out at C&O are not any cooler than people who hang out at South Street, but they like to think so.
The people who hang out at the C&O almost never order from the C&O menu. The people who take hot dates to the C&O for the menu rarely hang out afterwards. The people who hang out at the C&O know they would be shunned at, for example, Blue Light or X for being poorly-dressed grad or boho weirdoes.
Petron
You make the baby Jesus cry.
Hey guys, I’m only counting six bars.
we’re not talking about the rest. just like secret parking spots…
and on the topic of c & o:
greyhounds. way too many greyhounds because drinking the fresh squeezed grapefruit juice feels so healthy.
/what vodka?
@13 you must have excellent cellular coverage
If your tab has 5+ Jager bombs on it, you are a Frat boy. Or an alkie.
….or a cougar trying to get a Frat boy drunkie?
The odd part of the fascination with Jäger is that it’s only 70 proof. People are trying to get hammered drinking a goddamn digestif.
I don’t like how Jäger smells, so I have never tried it. After watching how others acted while drinking it has done nothing to change my mind.
Hey, who serves a mean Hot Toddy? I’m feeling like I got hit by truck full of germs today.
It could be you Duckey.
http://www.ehow.com/video_9519_make-hot-toddy.html
@20: C&O does one.
@18: Haha joke’s on them!
@19: It smells disgusting! And looks like crude oil.
Guys who drink Jager = Going to try to stick it in your butt eventually
Guys who drink Patron = Premature ejaculators
Guys who drink Jamesons = Alcoholic but are nice to your cat
@23 what does the perfect man drink or do you like Jäger drinkers?
CHAMPAGNE
I was waiting for PP to say a daquiri. And then watch how many guys I see out slyly trying to sip through a curly straw and look hot.
LISTERINE!
Dammit I forgot this one:
TEN -definitely undergrad and quickly killing off those precious brain cells (this tab *4)
6 Sapporo
6 Sake
1 Very loud “SAKE BOMB” chant
@20:
i always bring my own tea bags
/running for cover after dangling the low hanging tea bag…
am I cool?
@25 Especially if he has a set of erotic Hummel figurines that he purchased from Ebay…
@12 You mean to say the “baby jeebus” right?
I never realized that C&O was seen with such disdain. Of all the bars in this burg, I see C&O as one of the last bastions of grabbing a couple of nice pops and a little food and having a nice quiet time. And all the dark corners are great for clandestine tuggies. And Elaine, their somallier is a wonderful wonderful lady.
The tab I’ve seen there:
3 Tanq and Tonics
3 Guiness
1 Bottle of the best ginger ale in the land.
So, @5, pretty close, except I dig the joint.
@32
its history far exceeds its present in charm, but granted it can be a nice place.
i also praise Elaine to the skies. i admire Barry, even if he’s a cranky old fuck–the reason i will never ever ever show the faintest disrespect for him is that i once saw him REFUSE flatly to make a Cosmopolitan or a Sex-on-The-Beach, I forget which.
Principal objection to C&O these days is that there are too many old-Cville messy-snob-drunks there cluttering up the place forgetting they are almost fifty and inserting themselves luridly into converse with your mid-20s date.. and waitresses do not shoo these wrinkled old fucks back to their bar-stools. And, that it’s almost impossible to get a table anymore because there are too many belly-paunchy PSEUDO-rockstars home from tour cluttering the joint with their trophy-girlfriends and groupies.
It’s always beeen great to go there, though, because of their utter disregard as far as I can tell for ABC laws governing closing-time and serving the obviously dangerously drunk.
I happen to like the C&O and my tab was self described. Elaine is a wonder and if you can’t get along with Barry, otterdung, you have become quite suspect in my eyes.
Englebert… I’m liking you more and more… the Corton Charlemagne began my interest, admittedly dampened down down by the ‘top self’ gin martini which would in my neck of the woods would be known as a Suicide Cocktail, but I’ll let that go as a typo.
The most worrying aspect of you appears to be the be-flippered horse in your ‘website’ which appears to have ‘FOR FUCKS SAKE HELP ME’ written across it’s eyeballs. Comments appreciated and expected.
I saw the picture of the horse and thought it would be properly appreciated here. It’s just so damn goofy and terribly wrong. I would frown on any friend who would do this but the photo is already taken.
The top s(h)elf and other mistakes will be made- I ask your understanding during work hours as I rush to type something pithy before moving on to the tasks I’m paid for. I’m just happy you noticed me between the PP and otterdung show.
@23 I have a buddy who drinks all three, Jamesons, Patron and Jager. What does that mean? Is he doomed to run a little back door hit and run action on the local feline population? He is kind of a needle though, so that fits.
Jameson? I can let slide.
Patron? Not a big fan. Tezon or Herradura is the way to go if I were to drink tequila.
Jager? Frat Juice! They have 2 or 3 shots of this shit and they can’t find their own ass with flash light…pretty pathetic.
Oh I have a program to screen all that shit out….you stood out like a veritable beacon of perty newness. The horse was just an ethical concern… I’m sure you got it to sign a disclaimer so no foul. Tape a pen to that hoof and no worries dude…
We all worry about Otter…. he varies between succinct brilliance and meandering bullcrap… but I think he’s an all round spiffing good chap and I think would be a great friend.PP just needs a jolly good seeing to IMHO.
@34 HEY, I do not have a paunch - I just have that “lived-in” look.
/am as old-cville as they come, and dang proud of it
//wish I hadda 20-something date
@35
Buck up, Sport–i said i adore Elaine and admire Barry, get along fine with each. And the length, fervor and detail of my comment should attest to that i go there all the frigging time and love the place, have since it opened and had the club. The Pink/Otter Show was b/c for two days now Cvillain has been dead. We’re not grandstanding, just trying to provoke a few comments, if only to shut us up. You’ve done that, added hugely, and i hope you’ll stay active.
@39
thanks floozy. i’m a slow-witted child, but people like to ruffle my hair and call me ‘champ’.
I think i like Pink, i’ve just realized this. shit, i’m doomed.
@40
quite adventitiously, i have a spare 20-something date for you.
i grabbed two off the shelf accidentally when i only ‘needed’ one.
otter, thank you, you make me smile
/so needed that tonight, grazie
This non blog/real news site drinks too much. I always wanted to be called Scooter. You know or not. The other non blog/real news site is organizing an intervention and it is mad. And yet, nurturing. I think it got a Sherpa and Shaman to facilitate. But you know instead a fake CVille duo who wear hemp. And speak very very slowly and softly. Which I appreciate as I nurture my hangover.
The other non blog/real news site is organizing an intervention and it is mad
Huh?
@44 - i agree - what?
dang - crickets again, gotta get a zapper…
OD, wake up!
Hunh? Pwhat? Sorry… they wouldn’t tell me how to use tequila on the other thread, so i went to bed.
An intervention? Does this mean earnest grownups from CvilleNews.com are coming over to talk to us about moderation and civic responsibilities?
Feeling nostalgic today, bored, and nobody’s commenting AGAIN–not even Pink.
SO: in kindlier, gentler days of Downtown, when the only UVA kids around were MFAs and before i ever saw anyone do shots or order lemondrops, blowjobs, sex-on-beach, cosmos, etc…. it was possible to see/have these cocktails in bars downtown…. anyone ever drink them now or know how to make them?
Pimm’s Cup Number One
Sloe Gin Fizz
Harvey Wallbanger (argh)
Gin Rickey
Brandy Alexander
Pink Gin Cocktail
Black Velvet Cocktail (when you could get a split)
Ramos Gin Fizz
Vie-en-Rose (english gin, club soda, rose-water)
Champagne Cocktail (with floating nasturtium flower)
Sidecar Cocktail
X lounge sells a Pimm’s cup.
@50
that place grows daily in my esteem, for SO many reasons–this among them.
49: You left off the gimlet. Which C&O does well. I think they do sidecars well, too. And old fashioneds.
Ahhhhh, the wonderful Gimlet. Egregious omission.
Didn’t know they’d do a sidecar at C&O. Whiskey Sour.
Court Square Tavern would make me Black Velvets, not to be missed, but it’s been a while.
Can you fuck up a gimlet?
54: Well, C&O’s is good because of the freshly squeezed lime juice. I think some of that pre-mix crap might be overly sweet. So: yes.
@54
i’ve had every single one of the cocktails in my list at @49 fucked-up beyond belief at most of the bars downtown—pay for it, don’t drink it, and order a bud longneck in mute protest. Nobody seems to have a Mr. Boston’s behind the bar anymore, and apparently the Mixology Schools don’t teach classic cocktails. Also get faces made at me and get snotty backchat from waitstaff and bartenders for ordering any of these (except, i freely admit, at the C&O).
Older cocktails tend to have twentillion different variations, and most bartenders did not go to school. The books do little more than offer lots of ways to make the same drink, so most bartenders pick their favorite and go with it. Of course, their favorite version might be the exact opposite of the one the screetching old bat across the bar likes, so eventually they might a) lose the business of screetching old bats or b) adapt to the screetching old bat version.
Whereas newer cocktails are harder to eff up because they don’t have a century of use under their belt.
true, true.
yet somehow i haven’t ever been able to look a bartender in the eye and order a “Blowjob”.
Yeah, I’m sure C&O is the ONLY bar in town to put fresh lime in their gimlet. Please.
From what you said about X-Lounge serving you a real Pimm’s #1 Cup,
i bet i can trust them on these other drinks.
I keep getting Gin Rickeys and Gimlets with SOUR MIX. ARGH.
Who would put sour mix in a Gin Rickey or Gimlet? Jeebus. You should throw the drink back in their face when they do that.
Sour mix is an extremely abused ingredient.
@61
Eastern, Blue Light, South Street, Miller’s — on occasion.
@62
no joke.
/i’m commenting too much. Can you two take over?
I’m sure C&O is the ONLY bar in town to put fresh lime in their gimlet
No one made that claim.
That’s pathetic. Those places should get some real bartenders. Although in SS’s defense, the bartenders are very nice but more used to slinging beers and making shots than whipping up old fashioned cocktails. That’s not the place to go for a Mint Julep or Sazerac.
@64, I agree that a gimlet tastes better with fresh lime. But it’s just not how it’s done, lest you want all your drinks sent back by said screetching bats.
Show us on the doll, ddg, where the screaming bat touched you.
When I tended, I had people send back drinks with fresh lime and ask for Rose’s or Sour mix. Kind of like when people make homemade mac ‘n cheese but kids think it’s gross because it’s not Velveeta.
zocalo and maya do it (gimlet) with fresh lime.
/some people complain about that.
Good bartenders know to ask which one you prefer.
@67, it was there, right there… in my SOUL.
@69, it’s nice to want to improve your quality, to raise the bar such as using fresh lime - but the truth of the matter is, people are whiney and they WILL BREAK YOU.
@70 Good restaurants should set that policy, then, rather than mandating drinks be made certain ways, or else.
Do they mandate? Which places? I know most places tell employees how to make drinks but they are allowed to serve people what they want if they want it a different way.
Mr. Boston has always seemed OK to me, at least as a starting-point when the drink ordered is unfamiliar. I just dislike vanity in bartending, where they assume when you say ‘club soda’ you mean tonic, or assume you want corn-syrup-n-artificial-flavor when the drink calls for lime-juice and sugar. Roses’ Lime at least has a little retro-appeal. I was impressed with accuracy at X, and as before have always had positive experiences at C&O. Fellini’s in the OLD incarnation never failed, i thought, b/c Fluffy and Carter were such marvelous classic-cocktail snobs.
What I am talking about is a restaurant that set certain recipes, and served a large number of people for dinner, with the bar serving as both a service bar and actual bar. It was rather difficult in the middle of a huge dinner service to rely on waiters to ask patrons how they want a certain drink, since most people don’t even know what’s in the drink, just that they liked it the last time they had it at whatever place they had it.
I get what you mean, though — ideally there would be time and occasion to find out how people like what they order, but sometimes that’s not as practical as it could be. My main point is just that sometimes people don’t really know what they’re ordering, or how to order it, even if someone asked them.
And some people don’t know how to make drinks was mine.
also true.
otter, ask Micah at the cafe about the Sloe Gin Fizz.
26world… which cafe is that?—i missed something.
ASS CAFE
gotcha.
unless i missed something, i LOVE that not a soul mentioned a single bar outside of Downtown, particularly any on the Corner. Is the Virginian still in business? 2 Molson Canadians and a barf-bag.
I learned to bartend at the elbow of an experienced classic barkeep. There was ALWAYS a copy of Mr. Boston behind the bar, and at early cocktail hour or late after-dinner-rush hours, and hours… there were some lively discussions about drink recipe variations. In the old days, the Boar’s Head wait staff was incredibly well trained and knowledgeable about regular customer’s preferences for drink, and professional enough to know when to ask. In the 80’s we had lots of fun at the Virginian creating new/original drinks (ah, the Silk Stocking was smooth). We knew when it wasn’t cool to ask (too busy), and most of the bartenders there were charming and accomodating. Who wouldn’t tip like crazy after the bartender entertains thusly? We loved it.
/miss you guys
That’s a lovely and moving recollection… i used to go there to sit in/out and hear George Melvin play in the lounge. Is Mr. Boston still current, or has some new classic emerged (not the Barnes&Noble discount-rack glossy 25-New-Martinis kindof thing, but authoritative)?
And along those lines, where’s the nearest decent bar-tending school? I know there’s one in DC, but I was hoping for a little closer.
@85
i got reamed the other day for even jokingly calling a bartender a ‘mixologist’, something i saw in an ad for a bartending school. i’ve looked before and only found Richmond and NoVA (Arlington?), else online courses. I assume that most of our local pros would suggest taking barback shift or two as a way of apprenticing under a good, classy one?–like Barry at C&O. What a useless reply, sorry.
/got humor, Tinkertoy? they could use some over on the drug-dealing thread.
Ha, ya I know. I’ve been following along, eating the pops-corn.
Thanks for the thought.
What about the ‘midtown’ bars - Maya, Si, the Divide, Zinc?
I always see the guy with a blazer and really nice white cowboy hat on the corner during home games. He is a character!!!!!
@89
Oh, he’s not a regular. That’s the guy doing promo pre-publicity for the lecture and showing of Brokeback Mountain at UVA’s upcoming Aliens & Other Outsiders Film Festival.
@90: Other promotional materials include a UVA-themed “hoo-hole” statue they’ll be erecting.
Alien-theme, right? Commemorative Blue and Orange ‘probes’ like the spacemen use?
/in the pokey!
@92: Zackly.
You two are a pair of fucking homoprobes.
i was astounded and delighted that Stanley would play along with me on that one.
whassup floozy—did you use up all your nicey-nice over on the FFA?
/aliens never have hair
/aliens use anal probes on human victims
/aliens are the guy from the suitcase-make-a-deal tv-show
It was a joke… you fucking myopic twat™
Oh and for the record I don’t do nicey-nice… I crate train. So pricks to you, and tinkety tonk up your ass Otter.
LMFAO
@24, I think the pefect man, depending on the scenario, drinks beer, then moves to Jameson’s or Maker’s on the rocks OR shares a nice bottle (or 2) of red wine with you. A guy drinking girl drinks (ie any drinks on the menu at X Lounge except for the Mint Juliep) is a big turnoff. A guy’s drink should never be girlier than mine and my go to drink nowadays is Crown and Diet.
Also, St. Marteen’s on the corner has an array of great original drinks and shooters, if anyone even goes to the corner anymore
@97
oh i know; i just missed your hilarious crankiness these last few days.
If I were in the mood, and if this blog didn’t find such observations tiresome, I would point out that comment #99 is quite sexist in an interesting way.
@99: Haha me and Calvin laughed at the redencks that drink Crown Royal
i thought crown was a black thing.
@104: I’ve had black people order it yes, but also white dudes with nicotine-stained teeth wearing gold chains who pulled up in their Escalade and then asked for their steak well done. So who knows?
Check out the Myspace club for Crown Royal drinkers:
http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=groups.groupProfile&groupID=102498561
who pulled up in their Escalade
Escalade? Hmmm… or something more, well, donky.
/nupoats!
@105 how many “shape[s] or form[s]” can crown possibly come in?
@107: That’s code for “however you drink it during the day, be it mixed in your Super Big Gulp cup while you’re at work at the construction site or in your Nalgene bottle with diet while you’re sitting in your psychology seminar at the community college”
or mixed with bailey’s at an irish pub’s poetry slam. blech!